I'll stand by you

By MariaBellatrix

Summary : Behind the veil, Sirius is sad for having left Remus and Harry. He is now alone in this new world – or that's at least what he thinks. When he sees again James he understands he isn't alone . (please review!!!)

A/N : All the characters belong to J.K. Rowling. The song "I'll stand by you" belongs to the Pretenders.

I saw the light of the Department of Mysteries vanish from my eyes. Once again, light vanished from my eyes, once again I fell in the unknown, once again I felt life disappear from my body, and yes once again I had to leave my friends. Has this all been my fault?

My thoughts came to end as I reached the end of what I would call my grave. Yes, I knew I was dead, and that my grave was that veil, through that archway. My body sprang back on the cold ground. Darkness surrounded me. I tried to scream as loud as I could but I was sure nobody could hear me. Was that the end of my miserable life? When I was in Azkaban, I often dreamed about death. I thought death would erase all the pain buried in my heart, I thought death would help my soul to find peace. But then I escaped from Azkaban and began living with Remus and Harry. I wanted to live. To protect them and always be on their side when they needed me. Oh yes, I wanted to live. But now, death had came too fast. There were so many things I wish I did. Suddenly a whisper behind my back made my thoughts end. A small man with a long beard was starring at me. He was saying something I couldn't hear. Unexpectedly, the room lightened and I saw where I was standing. It was a small room with two doors. One behind and one in front of me. The door behind was actually a veil. The same veil I had fallen through. The old man opened the door in front of me and apparently waited for me to walk in first. Slowly I walked to the door. When I turned around to see if the old man was following I realised to my horror that he had disappeared. So I continued walking not knowing where this road would lead to. When I arrived at the end of the tunnel there was a door. When I pushed the door my whole body was shaking. I was relieved to see that I had come to something that looked to me like a small village. People, at last.

And then I remembered. I remembered the friends that I had left behind. Remus Lupin, Harry, Dumbledore, Tonks, the Weasleys… so many people. Why did I have to die? Why was life so unfair to me? Why didn't life decide to end Peter's life? Why me? I simply didn't understand. All the plans we had made with Remus about our future. I promised him I would always be there for him, I promised Harry he could come to me whenever he needed to. Remus and Harry, the people I most cared of, the two people I will no longer see. Tears filled my eyes. Nobody to understand me. I knew I was responsible for James' and Lily's death. I convinced them to change their Secret Keeper. It was my idea. It was my fault. Suddenly, I saw a hand on my shoulder . I turned over and saw a man smiling at me. At first I didn't recognise him. He was probably the last person I expected to see. James Potter.

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry

"Padfoot" said James. I couldn't move. No sound came from my lips. Could it really be James? My James? Oh yes, it was James Potter all right. He hadn't changed through the years at all. The same glasses, the same smile…

" Don't worry. Trust me. I know what you're going through. Let me help you" whispered James. He wanted to help me? After I practically ruined his life? Maybe he didn't know anything about Peter's betrayal. Tears began slowly to fall on my cheeks. I closed my eyes, trying to find the right words for what I was about to say.

" Wormtail…he did it…but … it was my fault…everything was my fault…I didn't know…" I cried.

" I know, I know everything about that rat, the way he betrayed us, the way he locked you in Azkaban. But you are my friend, Sirius. As you always have been and always be. Nothing has changed, believe me. There are still things I probably don't know but these things won't break our friendship." He said looking straight in my eyes. I still couldn't believe. Was this all a dream? Was I really talking to Prongs? Did he really forgive me? When he saw that I wasn't going to say anything he continued talking.

" I know that after my death you have well…we shall say…haven't done always good things. But let me tell you that even in this world, here with the other dead I haven't always been on the good side either. Once again, I tell you Padfoot my friend, I know what you are going through, let me help you." And he took my hand.

Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

He showed a little road that led to a small house. During all the way he held my hand. I remembered in our first year at Hogwarts it was me who showed him everything and today it was him who led me. And for the first time since I passed through the veil, I smiled. Probably because I realised I wasn't alone. As a matter of fact, I've never been alone. When I was in Hogwarts I had James, Remus and Peter, after I escaped from Azkaban I had Remus and Harry and now even though I am dead I have James.

" Don't worry Sirius I'll stand by you." he said smiling back at me.

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

When we arrived near the house, I saw a woman on the doorstep. When we reached the house, I couldn't believe my eyes. Lily Evans Potter. But on her lips was a sad smile. I didn't understand. If James was relieved to see me then why was she so unhappy? Did she expect to see somebody else? Harry, perhaps?

" Sirius…welcome…" she said . I looked at James. Apparently, he had understood why his wife was so sad.

" Lily is just a bit …hmm...angry …well you understand we just learnt yesterday about the whole meaning about that prophecy. We never expected our son to have to live this miserable life and then die so young". At this precise moment, I wanted to explode. I wanted to scream, explain…but I couldn't . Was Lily saying that I hadn't well played my role as a godfather? Of course, after I was locked up in Azkaban I haven't done anything for Harry. But I had tried to. I wanted to take Harry with me and take of him but Dumbledore had refused. Then when I got out of Azkaban, I have always been there for Harry. Whenever Harry needed a shoulder to cry on I was there. And today, today, I died to protect Harry. How could she think I hadn't done anything for Harry? But instead of yelling at Lily, I simply pretended I didn't hear what James had just said. But I couldn't stop a single tear from falling. I was absolutely lost.

So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong

When Lily entered in the house, James said:

" Don't you worry. She'll be better tomorrow. You know if you want to get mad, to scream it's not me that's going to prevent you from doing it. You know I'll never leave you. And by the way, I know that you've done all you could for Harry. You have to know that I'll never let somebody hurt you. I'll be always behind you in case you fall. C'mon , tomorrow will be a better day." I had always admired James' optimism but today was apparently an exception. I didn't think tomorrow would be better than today. Besides, I knew I couldn't live forever with them. James and Lily were a couple. I know it was strange but until now I had always thought that we would be the Marauders until the end of time. I had never realised that one day, we'll start a family, have children and maybe yes maybe one day our friendship would fade . Maybe today was that day.
"Padfoot…of course you expected that one day we would be separated. But you know now you will have to begin a new life here. You must know that whenever you need some help or advice, and even though I'm not the best person to ask advice to, I'll always be there for you".

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when...
When the night falls on you
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you…

PLEASE REVIEW…please ?