Hey folks! So I got writers block on some of my other stories and felt like expanding, so here I am, doing an actual one piece fic! Hope you enjoy and if the characters are a bit ooc, please tell me so I can fix it! Except Zoro, there is a reason for his. If there are inaccuracies be aware I haven't actually got up to the alliance so could you tell me about them?
Rated T/pg-13 (though i am 13 at time of writing, yohohoho)
No slash... yet. I'll think about it.
Warnings: Zoro and Sanji being... Zoro and Sanji, swearing, Luffy's idiocy, complete and utter confusion plus some possible really bad fight scenes will follow!
P.S. started this before one piece Inktober, so won't be updated much yet...
Zoro was awake. It might not seem like that much of a shock, except the time was drawing near to 1 in the afternoon and everyone except Zoro was sound asleep in the position they had last been in. Sanji had fallen asleep in his extra-special mikan parfait of love, Luffy, Chopper and Usopp had nearly fallen off the Sunny as they fell asleep while fishing (yes, fishing was that boring) and Brook was practicing his swordplay and he would've stabbed himself in the stomach, except he didn't have one! Skull Joke! Yohohoho!
'Oi! When did my brain start inputting skull jokes into my mind?' Zoro thought irritably, 'I mean come on brain, that's just low!'
Another problem was that no matter how hard Zoro tried to get them up nobody so much as fluttered an eyelid.
'Though that would've been funny to see; the shit cook fluttering his eyelids,' Zoro thought, then got a strange image and pretended he hadn't thought of anything. 'Not the time for that, why aren't they waking up? Luffy should've responded to the call of meat!'
Sunny was eerily quiet without the ruckus Luffy left in his wake. Zoro left the main deck for the crow's nest to do some training and clear his thoughts.
When he got up to the top of his little workout room/crow's nest, Zoro lumped some of his largest weights onto a bar and started training. While he did, he organised his thoughts.
No 1. Everyone on the crew fell asleep at exactly the same time, except him. Why not him?
No 2. Without the witch Nami, he was stranded on a boat with no clue where he was going or how to navigate.
No 3. If any other pirates attacked, the rest of the crew would be sitting ducks for being captured.
No 4. Even if he did know how to navigate, that would be no good if he didn't work the log pose.
No 5. Perhaps he should call Law. He was a doctor after all and might know what has caused it.
Right. It was decided. He was calling Law. His crew also had a navigator who could serve for both of their ships. Probably. He got back down and went into Nami's room for the den den mushi.
"Moshi moshi," came the voice on the other end. It was Law. No-one else could make hello sound like the end was coming.
"Hey. Uh, Law where are you? We have a bit of a situation over here," Zoro said, not sounding nervous for his nakama at all. Nope. Not in the slightest.
"Ah, it's Zoro-ya. What happened and where's Chopper?"
"It's not me that's got the problem! Everyone on the crew except me is out of it! Fine one second, fast asleep the next! Luffy won't respond to me telling him the ero-cook is making him meat! MEAT!" Zoro shouted the last word without noticing. Law did notice though, and hearing the normally stoic swordsman this desperate (Zoro would later deny all knowledge) struck something in him. Something had happened to him as well, even if Zoro himself hadn't noticed. He would have to investigate further.
"Alright Zoro-ya, we are coming over. Where roughly are you?"
"Umm... we just set off from Magnolia Island. Left about a week ago, I think. Just came under the influence of a summer island maybe yesterday. They fell asleep about 15 minutes ago."
"We will be there in roughly half an hour. Sit tight until then, Zoro-ya. I'm sure your crew will be fine." Law hung up the den den mushi. That was a lie. He couldn't be sure what had hit the swordsman's crew and thus couldn't be sure he could cure them. He also thought something was up with Zoro that he would have to figure out. Perhaps the two were linked. But he hadn't gained the title surgeon of death for nothing! Now he thought about it, that wasn't very comforting. Not at all. Oh well.
"Bepo! Set course for the Thousand Sunny!"
"Aye, captain!"
True to their word, the Heart Pirates arrived half an hour later. Zoro showed them to where he had put the bodies when they had collapsed.
"Right, first things first, do you still have any fruit on the ship?" Law asked when he saw the lifeless Straw Hats. Zoro's eyebrows raised in confusion.
"Yeah we should... if the shit cook didn't use it all on treats for his 'Nami-swan' and 'Robin-chwan'" Zoro said with a hint of... was that jealousy? Law left it for now, but he would be back later for that information.
"Well go and check it. We'll know if at least four of your crew are dead or not by then," Law said.
"Right," Zoro hurried out to check if any of the fruits had changed into devil fruits. Law smiled. Not a 'you'll die and I'll enjoy it' smile, but an entirely good natured one. It was so admirable how much Zoro cared for his crew, even if he tried to hide it. Saying that, it wasn't the first time the Straw Hats had been in mortal peril, but Zoro was only worried now. Another bit of investigation. His smile grew a tiny bit wider.
"Hang on captain... are you smiling? And for non-antagonistic means?" Bepo questioned. Law's smile disappeared instantly.
"No. Why would you think that?"
"I guess it was just a trick of the light then.. shame. It would've been nice to see you really smile." Bepo walked away, looking dejected. At almost the same time, Zoro walked past... in the same direction he had been heading.
"Where's the damn doctor gone? The room should be somewhere around here..." he muttered, passing the room again.
"Idiot! They're all in here!" Law shouted at the lost swordsman. How he managed to get lost on his own ship was... confusing, to say the least.
"Oh, so you're in here. Why did the rooms move around on me again? Why now of all fucking times?" Zoro stepped through the door. 'So that's how he explains his terrible sense of direction,' Law thought, suppressing a smile. The smile could come later.
"Well there are no new devil fruits in the galley, so we should be fine on that front."
"That's good. I checked the others pulses and they all seem fully alive, however there is a problem if Luffy-ya won't answer to meat or Sanji-ya to women. We need to investigate further," Law concluded.
The Thousand Sunny continued sailing on its path towards Pyramid Island with Law's yellow submarine following close behind. Zoro and Law were still trying to get the Strawhats to wake up, but to no avail. Law noticed Zoro becoming more stressed as time went by. Hopefully he hadn't been wounded recently, as his raised blood pressure could cause his wounds to reopen. To stop that from happening, Law punched him out cold with the back of his sword. It was either a testament to Law's strength or Zoro's current weakness that Zoro fell straight down. Unfortunately he landed on Penguin.
"OWW! JACKASS! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" He shouted, before realising that the person on top of him was unconscious. "Law!"
"I needed him to keep his blood pressure down. This seemed like a good way to do so," came the reply.
"Not helping!"
"Yeah, captain. This has happened too many times before. STOP SHOVING UNCONSCIOUS PEOPLE AT US!" Bepo yelled. Unfortunately this was an occurrence that happened all too often on the ship.
"I will try. However, you have to agree it's funny. When it's not done to you, at least."
"You sadistic bastard!" Law's smile came back. Only this time, it had mutated into a obviously more malicious smile. Bepo, Penguin and everyone else that was arguing the point with Law froze and shivered uncontrollably.
"We'll be back!" Penguin yelled, before slamming the door to the men's quarters. Law sighed contentedly. It was so much fun to annoy his crew. Too much, almost. He dragged the unconscious Zoro to the mast. He could sleep anywhere, it was just easier to leave him there. The man was too heavy for his own good.
When they landed at Pyramid Island, Zoro was awake again and noticeably calmer. The sleeping Straw Hats were moved outside so they would have fresh air when (if) they woke up again. The Heart Pirates made lunch of crackers and assorted stuff to put on top (Law didn't like bread, they had all learnt that by now) and sat down to eat. What surpised them though was that Chopper charged up to the beach shouting, "MEAT!" at the top of his lungs. He changed into heavy point, got to the table and started shoving the meat into his mouth.
"Chopper, what are you doing?" Everyone yelled. They were having a peaceful (if slightly tense) lunch and the reindeer had to go spoil it. Law and Zoro were secretly very relieved, but they hid it behind the shout. Chopper continued eating as if he hadn't heard.
"Oi! Chopper! Stop eating our lunch!" Bepo karate kicked him.
"What was that for?" Asked a bemused Chopper.
"That was for eating all our food, tanuki!" Bepo shouted. He had been about to have a delicious ham sandwich before it had been snatched from his paws.
"I'm not a tanuki! And where's my hat?"
"On your head, dumbass!" Chopper went up to touch his hat, but on touching jerked his hand back. "That's not my hat! And why are my arms so hairy?"
"You'r in heavy point, and that is your hat!"
"What? But that's Chopper's devil fruit..." Chopper mused.
"Wait... does that mean... you're not Chopper? Who are you then?" Zoro asked, utterly confused by everything going on.
"I'M MONKEY D. LUFFY, THE MAN WHO WILL BECOME THE PIRATE KING!"
"Right, now we've figured out what happened, we need to work out who the others are," Law concluded. He walked up to the unconscious Strawhats and shouted, "Chopper! Zoro undid his stitches again!"
Brook stood up and ran over to Zoro, then started to berate him for undoing the stitches. Until he realised two things: 1) Zoro had not actually done anything to himself and 2) he was suddenly much taller than him.
"Go away Brook, you're fussing over me like Chopper!" Zoro grumbled. He had not been made aware of the plan and was annoyed that someone was interrupting his sleep. His unconscious spell earlier did not count as sleep, so he was doing it now.
"But I am Chopper, why are you saying I'm Brook?" The skeleton (Chopper) asked confusedly.
"Look down Chopper," Zoro replied simply. Chopper looked down to find a skeletal body underneath him.
"Aaah!" He screeched.
"Oh yeah, and Luffy has your body. Make sure he takes care of it," Zoro said before falling asleep again.
"Right, now for Brook," Law said, a malicious grin spreading over his face again. Annoying the hell out of people was fun. "Brook, Nami has offered to show you her panties!" Sanji jumped up and went over to the sleeping Nami.
"Are you sure she said that Law?" Questioned Sanji (Brook)
"No, she didn't. Oh, and by the way, you are currently in Sanji's body. Be prepared to defend yourself."
"What?" Brook queried, "Why would I need to defend myself?" But his question fell on deaf ears as Law was going over to wake Nami, whoever she was.
"Nami! Sanji snuck a look at your panties while you were asleep!" Robin came over silently and whacked Sanji (Brook) around the head.
"YOU PERV! I HAD FAITH IN YOUR SHITTY ASS!" She yelled.
"I now see what you mean by needing to defend myself, Law-san," Brook said. Nami was confused. This had never happened before. Normally Sanji would go all mellorine and fawn over her.
"Law... what's going on?" Nami questioned.
"Well... you all fell asleep on deck for no apparent reason. During that time, you appear to have switched bodies. The only one of you unaffected is Zoro, for reasons unknown. The person you just hit is Brook and you are currently in Robin's body," Law said with his usual unattachment. Nami processed the information.
"Then that means... Treinta fleur," Thirty hands appeared around the remaining Strawhats, "Clutch," The hands grabbed them, picked them up and threw them at Zoro. Zoro had a rude awakening by having four people chucked at him. Those four didn't wake up though.
"What the fuck Robin?" He yelled.
"Zoro-ya that is Nami-ya," Law said. Zoro then repaired his sentence.
"Ok then. WHAT THE FUCK NAMI?"
That then woke up Sanji, with his miraculous ability to tell when Zoro was insulting the ladies. He strode over and went to kick Zoro.
"Oi! Shit marimo! Don't insult the ladies!" But his kick was short-lived as he toppled over backwards. Zoro went into hysterics at Sanji's expense as Sanji tried and failed to get up from the floor.
"What the fuck? My arms shouldn't be weighing me down here!" Sanji yelled over more of Zoro's guffaws.
"Sorry Dartbrow!" Zoro laughed, not sounding sorry at all, "But you should probably look down before you go any further!" Sanji looked down, and came face to face with a black speedo.
"Aaaaargh! Speedo!" He yelled, which sent Zoro, Luffy and Chopper off again. Nami was confused. Luffy and Chopper laughing at dumb shit, she could understand. Zoro, on the other hand, barely laughed or smiled unless he was drunk. It wasn't like she didn't partly enjoy the change, but... What was going on with their swordsman?
Law had also noted the change of demeanour in the other swordsman and he was now even more concerned about Zoro. He was being way too emotional. When he was stuck on the Sunny, the only four emotions he had seen out of the swordsman had been pissed off, hungry, impassive or training. He hadn't counted sleeping as that was what he normally did, and Zoro had never been completely drunk around him, according to Nami. In the space of one day he had seen more emotions than that entire time.
He was tapped on the shoulder, bringing him out of his thinking. He turned around to find Chopper and Nami staring at him, as if they were asking something with their eyes. Law, however, did not understand the language of staring, so asked, "Can I help you with something?" There must have been a sting in his voice, Law thought, as the two flinched away.
"Uh, yes... We wanted to know what's going on with Zoro. He has never acted like this since... well, ever!" Chopper stuttered. A brilliant doctor he may be, but that didn't mean he was professional all the time. Nami simply nodded, afraid her voice would fail her.
Law sighed. "I don't know either. He was the only one who stayed in his own body while you all switched. It could be possible that you were hit by a devil fruit power, most likely the saimin saimin fruit. (saimin is the first part of hypnotist, translated) But if that were true, it doesn't explain what happened to you. You could've been hypnotised to think you were each other, but what about Zoro, or Zoro could've been hypnotised to make his emotions less stable, but what about you? I will keep searching for the answer, and if I find anything, I will tell you. Does that work?" Chopper and Nami nodded.
"Ok then. Now please let me have some sleep." The two left. Law went back to thinking.
If it was indeed the saimin saimin fruit, perhaps two different hypnotisms took place. Or pehaps there was just something about Zoro that saved him from the full effects. Right. What was different about Zoro?
EoC1
Hey folks! This has taken me the best part of three months to complete, hope you enjoy!
Reviews and the like always appreciated!