Dang Shin Eun, I'm A Fool

InuShikaCho

Disclaimer: © Takeshi Konomi –Prince of Tennis – Ryoma Echizen and Sakuno Ryuzaki

Author's note: This is a one-shot RyoSaku Fanfiction and one of my last stories to be posted as of now. I'm currently preparing for my college entrance exams so I need to focus in studying during the whole summer break. The other stories I had announced in my profile would be posted probably if I'm not that much busy, but don't worry, I'll be doing them. I got this plot while I was watching our school pageant and when they played the musical song of the Jenifer Love Hewitt's Don't Throw it All Away. My imagination started to run and ended up right here. The introduction is a bit sudden, but I'll do my best to explain how it all happened. I suppose Ryoma would have a little out of character here again… maybe? But I hope you'll still like it.

'-DANG SHIN EUN, I'm a Fool-'

Her hair fell gracefully and leaned on her slim shoulders. The calm wind passing by her body made her numb. However, the loud noises of the students along the school grounds made her feel awake and alive. I feel weak, she spoke inside her and afterwards she gave out a heavy sigh. The whole lunch hour there she was in the rooftop and thought deeply ones while her time ran. She neither felt the heavy feeling inside her stomach nor heard it shouting and craving for food. Though how many times she moved her hands from the ground, she couldn't, and then realized that it was starting to get heavier. It's been a week since I had confessed to him… and yet I haven't heard anything from anyone or even from him.

Rejected? Waiting? Tired? Stopping? Giving up.

-Flashback-

"Ryoma-kun!" I shouted so loud that caused my voice to echo in the hallway of our school. I know it was embarrassing, but for the sake of my feelings, I spoke. Because at that time, I hoped and believed that my words could make him smile during his hardest time. "I want you to know…" he looked back at me "…that even if everyone turned around at you, I would still be here and will make you cheer up no matter what! Because for me… your smile is the best thing I could get from you!"

I could feel my heart thumping that fast. I could sense what will happen next afterwards… Rejection.

-End of Flashback-

After hearing my words, all he did was stare at me and then walked away wearing nothing but a straight face. Right after that day, I wasn't able to approach him anymore. She shivered down her spine and bent her knees and buried her face within them. "I hate myself… I hate me…" she murmured. Suddenly, the loud speaker inside the school turned on and caught everyone's attention.

"All participants for the next tennis match please precede to the tennis courts immediately. Games will start after 10 minutes. Class 1 VS Class 3 for first years."

Probably she was the only person who ignored the voice over, why? She just focused on closing her eyes within her knees and stared the darkness inside of them. But later on, she could feel heavy waters appearing before the dark. She concluded already, she's weak and lame. She can't do anything for her love, neither fight nor let him feel it. She's ignorant however she's pure. Because despite all of the snobs and cocky smiles, the cold voice and silent answers, the straight face and unpainted ones, she endured the pain for a while and always look for another reason, 'I love you and that is what matters'

"Sakuno?" she heard the door in the rooftop slowly opened and she quickly rubbed her eyes to remove the water drops beside them. She stood up from her place and took her bag beside her. Her feet weakened and she moved unbalanced as she started to walk, but later on regained her strength and pretended to be strong. "Yes?"

"Our match will start soon; we can't start the whole game without the captain, right?"

"Uhmm sure! Sorry for making you look for me…"

"That's okay, let's go!"

"Go ahead! I'm behind you!"

Pretend to be strong… pretend to feel great… pretend that you don't feel pain… pretend that you're happy behind all those tears you shed… are those my answers? Are those my reasons right now? If it's that so, then I can't stand this anymore… I'll grow weaker than what I am right now… But because of you, I still keep on holding on with this bond that only I can see. She stopped. Her eyes trembled in its fullest while she hid her hands from shaking. Her companion disappeared from the corridor and since it was lunch hour, students were nowhere from the floor below the rooftop. However, this man was strange for standing there before her, looking her eyes so seriously. In any doubt, she hoped that he'll say something that she's been seeking for, but too bad her dreams vanished once more.

"If you won't show up in the court for five minutes, you'll lose by default" he exclaimed by walking a few steps near to her position

"I'm heading there actually…" she looked away in full tension.

Then silence came up between the two of them. Should I talk? Should I start? Should I end this? Should I say yes? Is it too late to be yours? Should I let go? Those were the questions running inside their heads. But each one of them doesn't know the answer. They don't know the right one. So that's how it goes. Kill your time but never let go. Love your time but let go. Who should be followed? His heart or hers? But in the end, everything failed. Both of them moved a twitch and both of them stepped a foot to one another.

"I'm going already…" she hated to say the words that sounded like goodbye. Because even though it seems like no hopes, she never wanted to say goodbye… for instances like this

"S-Sure…" he spoke and both of them continued from walking. However, his confusing looks tried to hide when they both passed one another and quickly, he stopped and didn't look behind, "Sakuno!" he added making Sakuno alert and look back at him.

"Y-Yes?" she stared his back from head to toe and anyone could see how much she wanted to touch his life, except for him.

"Go and win your match…" he answered back without looking.

"I-I will!" and ran away. How is it like to be whispered by your cold voice touching my heart? I want to know how to be loved by you… I want to live my life together with you and realize how happy it is. Without your love, I know I cannot survive this obstacle… ever!

The heat of the sun was nothing for all the players who had just finished playing for the last day of their sports competition. Every teammate was on their respective matches supporting everyone in the fair games. Loud screams and cheers can be heard. Loud noises but encouraging ones. She can't deny the fact that these cheers can lessen her heavy feeling but it can't remove all of it. Thus, she heaved her very last heavy sigh and entered the empty court together with her opponent, as they both walked closer to the umpire of the game. When she approached the other for a hand-shake she knew that it was really embarrassing to hold her hand with her cold and trembling one. But the funny thing, the opponent felt the same way and in the end they both laughed and exchanged good lucks.

"One-set match, Singles 1: Ryuzaki Sakuno VS Miyu Takahashi" the umpire declared, "Service by Ryuzaki!"

Everyone screamed outside the court when she started to hold the ball in her hands and let it bounce on the ground a few times. Let me win…

"Who do you think will win?" one spoke

"If Sakuno-chan will win this match they will be held as the champion for this year's sports competition" the other one answered

"But I think she'll be having a hard time winning this. Miyu-chan is also a great player of Seigaku's women's tennis club!"

She heard all the silent murmurs around her, but she pretended that she didn't. She knew how good her opponent was. But as much as she can, she convinced herself that she will not let her guard down no matter how painful the words were. "Go and win your match" she recalled.

She hit the ball and returned it inside the opponent's court. She ran and tried to return it back, but she didn't.

"0-15!" the umpire shouted.

"30-40!"

Though the game had just started, she was already panting slowly yet heavily inside her place, "Advantage by Takahashi! 0-2!"

Another set of game was declared and both of them ran for the ball, for the point and for the game. But for her, there was one thing important for that match, "His expectations in winning her match". I can win this!

"Game won by Ryuzaki! 2-2!"

Her feet started to tremble in exhaustion, but her determination wasn't. As her opponent held the ball and bounced it on the ground for the service, her face started to show seriousness and continued herself from panting. Ryoma-kun…. She closed her eyes. I need to win this… I need to! And then yes! "Return Ace! 0-15!"

Her heart, her fate, his love and his expectations—those were the things that were sacrificed in this match. There was nothing specified from what he had said, but for her, once she lost his expectations, everything will follow next. And when it happens, she'll do nothing but to continue what's the right one, 'Let go even if it hurts!'

Everyone screamed, some kept silent. She kneeled on the ground and watched her sweat dropping in her fading shadow. She panted and her eyes were widened.

"OUT! GAME AND MATCH, WON BY MIYU TAKAHASHI!"

She knew her eyes would shed these unstoppable tears again, but she prayed Just for now… please don't show up. Her eyes closed slowly and her teeth started to grit lightly and at the same time her hands trembled as it joined and compressed to the ground. I lost… I… "lost…"

Everyone clapped their hands as the champions and runner-ups aligned themselves by group and faced the juries. By team they approached them and accepted their trophies. All of them were thankful for the hard work and for the competition. But for her, besides from losing the match… she lost her love.

"Congratulations Sakuno-chan! It was really a great game! Let's do more than our best next time!" the teammates of hers said as they both made a heavy group hug. Somehow she smiled, but the pain… the pain… it's stuck.

"Goodbye! See you around!"

"Okay!"

She waved them lively but weakly. The game was best, everyone was great, but she's not. How can I show up to him! I'm sure he'll discriminate me… I'm sure… he's disappointed. She looked down on the ground and recalled everything. The confession, the words, the fate and the memories. I need to throw them away now… I'm not—

"Ryoma-kun!" eyes surprised, heart beat faster.

"Sakuno…" he looked at her again, with those same eyes he had showed a week ago, that nightfall.

His seriousness, his stare, because of these her heart was pierced right through her chest. She didn't imagine that he'll confront her after the match. And due to her unprepared situation, her eyebrows lowered as her forehead started to compress, tears now showed up and her heart tore apart.

I'm useless…"SORRY!" she shouted, cried and ran away from him, I'm totally useless! You wanted me to win! But I failed you! I hate myself! I'm useless! I'm not worthy at all!

----

I ran away… I cried… I'm useless… There she sat under the shades of the tree. Her hands on the ground and her eyes looked above the white clouds in the sky. The atmosphere was starting to get change. And her eyes are still soaring from crying. Her heart was still pierced and her dreams were starting to fade away. The breezy wind made her feel so numb. And whenever she looks at nowhere, they tremble again and she's forcing them to stop forever. She compressed her knees to her chest again and dug her face to her arms.

Sakuno, you're really weak… You've been keeping your love for so many times. You let the chances pass by. You're very dumb and foolish. You can't even fight for your love. You can't do anything for it. You're too ignorant for these things that you in yourself brag about. You know his popular, his strong, and his everything… and you fell for him. You didn't think of the chances that would happen. You think you're with the right one, but how can it be when you can't even do anything to be with him forever. You're just a nobody… falling for a somebody. You're weak, fragile, moron, ignorant! Pathetic! And that just proves… you are really Sakuno…

"I found you…"

Slowly, she moved her face away from her arms and looked at the silhouette of a person standing before her, holding a can of drink in his hands with a simple smile attached on his face. R-Ryoma-kun… b-but why?

"Drinking this would make you feel calm!" he offered the drink in his hand as he moved it closer to her face.

"T-Thank you…" accepted but looked away

His faced became stern and noticed her avoiding eyes. "I saw your match… and you lost, didn't you?"

She didn't answer but instead she held the drink tighter in her hands and lowered her head even more. "During your self-practice, I always tell you that there are a lot of things in your postures that are wrong. Your hair, your knees… all of them"

Her hands trembled once more, "You never followed my instructions. Why don't you improve them? You're really stubborn… You don't even listen to the words I say"

"Sorry…" she murmured very low, "I'm really sorry…" she added once more and Ryoma kept quiet.

"I'm really sorry!" she couldn't help it anymore. The more the burden rises inside of her, unlimited pain also came up to her, and to be able to release them, she needed to find a shoulder and cry all the tears stuck on her eyes. All he could do was to listen and to be that shoulder, he removed his cap and placed it above her head, covering her tears. "I failed your expectations! I hate myself for being weak! I wanted to be great in you! But I lost! I did my best to that game, but it's not enough! I hate myself! I'm totally weak! I can't stay to this if I'm not worthy! I wanted to be great in your eyes! Ryoma-kun, I failed you… I failed everything! And it just proved that I am not—"

Her eyes widened while her words were carried away from the sweet sensation happened in her lips. Sweet yet full of woe. Wet but pure of love. With this, she couldn't explain anything right and wrong. And because of this, her tears started to continue from dripping down to her chin as she closed her eyes to feel him more. A kiss that only proves what she wanted to express. She loves him more and she'll do anything to make him proud, but because of lack self-confidence within her and being lost in a crossroad alone, she weakened herself and disintegrated in midair with self-hatred and pain.

He moved his lips a few inches away from hers and continued, "You're worthy"

In an unexplained moment in her life she had mixed her emotions from sadness to joy, from failure to winning, from hurting to loving. And through it all, she couldn't stop herself from crying once again, not just because of her failure but because of how great it was to reach his dream—to touch his heart and be spoken by his cold words and to finish an obstacle holding his hand.

"You put all of your heart into that game… You're not weak… You strived hard and it maybe surprising but you had passed my expectations. You are worthy at all!"

She closed her eyes and tears kept on falling once more. Her moan was starting to become louder and covered them with both of her hands. She weakened in joy and in the sudden kiss. He grabbed her shoulders and stared her with a sweet smile and kissed her on the forehead. He had loved everything about her. And after all the comfort she did to him, it was now his time to comfort her and show her how much he had secretly cared for her. "Cry as long as you need to" and pulled her to his chest, leaning her whole body as she cried, "It doesn't matter how much you shed this time… I'll be your shoulder from now on… I won't leave you starting today…" then in his purity, he embraced her tightly and tightened as if he didn't want to let go of her anymore, "I Love you…"

My eyes are soaring, but I don't care. My heart is beating faster and I loved the beat it produced. By that time, everything I thought was negative—my loss, my mistakes, my weaknesses, my fears and all, I realized, he treasured them within him. He loved me as a nobody. Under his cocky smiles and cold voice, now I could hear the sweetest words behind them, shouting back at me "Gambatte! Sukidayo! (Good Luck! I Love you!). And the biggest thing he did that shared a big meaning into my life was not just becoming my pillars but also loving my through my worst and treasured my love and didn't throw it away.

-The End-

(A/N): Aw… how sweet isn't it? For the first time, I ended up without any tragedies, hahahah! Lol XD okay, so that would be my last RyoSaku fic as of now. The title Dang Shin Eun is taken from the show Goong or popularly known as Princess Hours, sang by STAY and in English it means 'I'm A Fool'. The first title I planned for this was (Our Love) Don't throw it all away taken from the songs of Jennifer Love Hewitt. But I changed it later on when I was already in the end. That's it! I hope you liked my fan fiction! I was supposed to post this during valentines day and gift for all of the RyoSaku fans out there, but I lost time to finish the whole story before valentines day… But then, even if its no longer valentines day, I still dedicate this to the fans of PontaPair! That's it for now! I hope I'll receive some of your reviews everyone! Be my inspiration! XD ahahaha! See you on the next fan fiction of mine[