A/N: Wow guys! I went from having about 100 or so hits on my writing this month just two days ago, to having over 2,000! You guys seriously rule. I would like to thank those of you who have been kind enough to review/subscribe/favorite! I love knowing that you like my writing. As always, I get warm fuzzies. :) And now I present another awkward!Kurt/Burt/Blaine fic, now with some Carole! (sorry about the semi-awkward ending, I didn't know how to leave it. :P)
Kurt, Blaine, and Burt were sitting at opposite ends of the kitchen table, Burt at one end, and Kurt and Blaine on the other. Burt had a scowl on his face, and Kurt and Blaine looked terrified. None of the men were talking. Carole walked into the room.
"Hey guys!" She surveyed the scene before her. "Okay, what happened?"
Burt lifted a finger and pointed at the boys. "Ask them."
Blaine reached for Kurt's hand, but quickly pulled away when Burt growled, "Don't you touch him!"
"Burt," Carole chided, "we need to talk about this. And Blaine should be allowed to touch Kurt, they are dating."
"He was touching him plenty when I caught them." Burt muttered. "I think that he can keep his hands to himself."
Both boys blushed at this, with Kurt looking like an overripe strawberry. Blaine looked like he wanted to melt into the ground. Realization of what must have happened dawned on Carole's face.
"Boys," she said delicately, "were you being intimate?"
"No!" They both shouted in unison.
"Yes!" Burt bellowed after them.
"One side is going to have to tell me everything," Carole said, hands on her hips, "and we will not leave this kitchen until this is all worked out, understood?"
Blaine cleared his throat and said weakly, in contrast to his usual confident air, "Well, ma'am-"
"Call me Carole, Blaine."
"Well, Carole," Blaine said, taking a deep breath, "Kurt and I were…well, we were, um-"
"God, Blaine, make it more awkward." Kurt rolled his eyes, and tried to continue. "What Blaine means to say is that he and I were up in my room having some alone time-"
"With the door closed, in clear violation of our house policy!" Burt said, almost frantically. "And they were shirtless, Carole-SHIRTLESS!"
"It was hot!" Blaine said, trying to defend himself.
"I bet it was boys," Carole chuckled, "but you know the rules-doors open when significant others are over."
"Yes, Carole." Kurt said, still blushing furiously. "Now if we're done, Blaine and I are going to go watch-"
"We're not finished here," Burt cried out, "we haven't gotten to what you both were doing!"
"Dad, I think that it has been established that Blaine and I were making out, not if you'll excuse us-"
"You're not going anywhere boys," Carole said, "now what's going on? You've obviously traumatized your dad, Kurt."
Blaine attempted to speak again, but Burt sent him a murderous glance while cracking his knuckles. Carole kept looking at all three of the men, waiting for an explanation.
"I will keep you all here until you tell me what's going on." They could all tell Carole was getting frustrated, and no one wanted to incur her wrath. "Now, one of you will tell me what's going on. I'm going to suggest that it be Kurt at the moment, since it seems that if Blaine speaks, he may not be allowed in the house ever again."
Kurt took a deep breath, "So, Blaine and I were making out in my room…and we were shirtless…"
"And the door was closed." Burt mumbled.
"And the door was closed, yes, thanks for pointing that out again dad," Kurt said, rolling his eyes, "and things may have been getting a little heated…"
"A little? When I walked in, that boy," Burt hissed, pointing his finger shakily at Blaine, "was kissing below the neck! And unbuttoning MY KURT'S PANTS! IN MY HOUSE!"
Kurt and Blaine apparently found the tabletop very interesting at that moment, as neither would look up at Burt or Carole. They were both blushing a very intense shade of red as well.
"Boys, look at me," they both looked up at Carole, looking as if they wanted to die, "we need to talk about this, make sure that you're both being safe."
"We're both virgins," Kurt mumbled, rolling his eyes, "we're not going to catch anything, plus we're not ready for that yet."
"I for one, will not be ready until I'm thirty, ma'am!" Blaine was trying to be helpful, he really was, but this admission just made Burt glare at him more.
"Blaine, I told you to call me Carole, and I seriously doubt that."
Blaine blushed sheepishly, and then averted his eyes from Burt's soul-piercing gaze.
"My son has a hickey on his hipbone, so don't even try that you…you…"
"Dad, calm down, it's not good for your heart to be this angry!"
"It's not good for my heart to walk in on my son practically having sex with his boyfriend! I think we should be much more worried about that! They've only been together for five months!"
"Burt," Carole said, shaking her head, "they're both very smart young men. Yes, this may be a little more than what you're ready to embrace, but I'm sure they've talked about things, right boys?"
"Oh, absolutely, Mrs. Hummel," Blaine said, regaining some of his natural composure, "Kurt and I aren't ready for that yet. Don't worry. We'll totally tell you when we're ready!"
"No we won't!" Kurt hissed, kicking Blaine under the table.
Carole was laughing hard now; Kurt and Blaine started laughing too, until Burt shot them the death stare again.
"I just want to make sure that you boys don't rush into anything," Carole said tenderly, "I don't want either of you to get your heart broken. You boys are both so special."
"You break my kid's heart," Burt muttered, "I show you where I keep my gun collection."
"Burt!"
"Carole! He's pressuring him!" Burt was starting to sound like a whiny little kid.
"Dad? You want to know the truth? I've been pressuring Blaine! Tonight was the furthest we've went because for some crazy reason, my boyfriend is afraid of you!"
Silence fell over the dinner table. Burt looked between Kurt and Blaine, then to Carole.
"Blaine," he growled, "is this true?"
"Yes sir! " Blaine was definitely out of his element here, judging by the way his voice squeaked. "I would never do anything to pressure Kurt! I really care about him." Blaine put his hand over Kurt's, "And for the record, you intimidate me, sir, you don't scare me."
"Okay," Burt said gruffly, "but Blaine's not allowed in your bedroom for a week-door open or closed! And if I find out that you've broken this rule…let's just say we won't have to worry about you and Blaine having sex. Because he will be lacking one of the necessary appendages, if you know what I mean."
"Dad!"
"Guess you should have thought that through before bringing your boyfriend up to your room and closing the door. Next time you'll know."
Burt and Carole left Kurt and Blaine in the kitchen. They remained silent for a few moments, and then looked at each other.
"So," Kurt sighed, "you're not allowed in my bedroom for a week. What are we going to do?"
Blaine smiled mischievously, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do recall you having a rather comfortable couch in the den-you know, the one your family doesn't use because the TV's broken?"
"I like the way you think, Anderson," Kurt said, giving Blaine a chaste kiss, "that was just a preview. For more entertainment, meet me in the den. Race you!"
"You're on!"
Maybe this whole no bedroom thing for a week wouldn't be so terrible.