A/N: This is supposed to happen between chapter 6 and 8 of Curse of Hatred, so you better off reading that one first.
Un-betaed. And I'm too lazy and busy to proofread it on my own, so ye have been warned.
Izuna knew that it would never be easy.
After all, he burnt down the bridge that Tobirama tried so hard to build and destroyed the foundation from the very root of their shared blood.
Forgiveness wouldn't come easy after all that.
"You need to eat," Izuna murmured, coaxing and gentle as he schooled his face to a flat poker face despite the pained clench of guilt that twisted in his chest. "Even if it's just a little, it would help to ease you back to eating proper food."
Dark eyes flickered up from the food tray to meet his own, and the irony struck Izuna before he could prepare for it.
One of those dark eyes were once his while the other belonged to Kagami.
Those eyes were once filled with fear and distrust—Izuna's fear of Tobirama and Kagami's own distrust to Izuna.
Looking into the depths of those newly-transplanted eyes, Izuna saw the exact same emotions inside. Fear and distrust haunted Tobirama's wary gaze where once upon a time it was only unconditional love that was present in that gaze.
But the ruby eyes filled with love were no longer there.
One of those loving rubies was implanted into Izuna's own skull while the other was claimed by Kagami. The idea to swap their eyes to cure the ever problematic issue of deteriorating sharingan was originally Mito's suggestion, but to share the eyes between the three of them was all Kagami and Izuna's idea.
Izuna looked at the dark eyes of his brother and wondered if this was the thing that Tobirama saw all those years ago.
Fear. Distrust. Wariness.
Was it always this painful to see such emotions in the eyes of the brother you so dearly loved? How did Tobirama cope with this for years? How did he cope seeing how much his beloved brother despised him?
How did he live with that knowledge?
"Aniki," Izuna called, wanting to reach out and wrap his arms around Tobirama's bony frame but—
—Tobirama flinched.
Izuna halted.
He really did burn the bridge, huh?
Now that Tobirama was more sober and no longer under the influence of the high dosage of painkillers that Mito had prescribed to him, everything showed with crystal clarity, laid out bare for the world to see.
Tobirama's mental state was a wreck.
The effects of the torture that Kumo put him through and the abuse that Izuna and the rest of the Uchiha clan have inflicted on him has now resurfaced from the dark and reared its ugly head. Fear and distrust haunted his eyes while his body tensed and flinched when Izuna so much as moved.
How could Izuna fix this?
How would one mend such horribly destroyed bridge?
"Aniki," Izuna murmured again, settling with only his hands intertwined tightly around the long bony digits of Tobirama's. "Try to eat, please?"
Tobirama's gaze landed back onto the food tray and Izuna felt another invisible stab in his chest when a tiny frown grew on his brother's forehead. It was just a simple fish soup—nothing heavy because Tobirama's body kept rejecting anything else out—but Izuna has ensured that the soup was as flavourful as it could be and the fish they used for it was freshly caught.
Should this food come from someone else, Izuna knew that Tobirama wouldn't hesitate like this.
But he bit back his comments. It was his fault after all. Throughout their years growing up, Izuna could count with one hand the instances where the food he offered to his brother was not tampered with any kind of poison. Thus, he unlaced his hand from his brother's and took a spoonful from the bowl. Izuna could feel Tobirama's gaze on him, could feel the wariness and caution that spiked in the bijuu-infused chakra field that his brother has refused to let down, but he squared on, eyes calmly closed as he sipped the spoon empty.
It's not poisoned. So please, Aniki, please—
To his relief, when he offered the spoon again there was less resistance in the reception.
There was still doubt that lingered—nothing that Izuna could do to ease that doubt—but Tobirama has started eating and that was all that mattered.
With a slight smile, Izuna retreated to his chair by the cot, getting out of his brother's space. Though, he couldn't resist the urge to wrap one hand around Tobirama's free wrist. It still felt surreal—to have his brother back after being convinced that the man was dead for the whole year and a half—so Izuna clung to the steady slow pace of Tobirama's pulse, treasuring and taking comfort from the gentle beats.
He had to hold back a grimace when he felt the bones underneath his half-brother's sickly pale skin.
Too skinny. Tobirama was too skinny, even by the standard of a former war prisoner. Izuna knew that this was to be expected, moreover after hearing Mito's diagnosis and reading Madara's written report. He knew that this was to be expected, knowing that Kumo kept Tobirama alive with only a half-assed soldier pill and a glass of water per day throughout the whole a year and a half they kept the man captive.
It was expected, but the guilt still hurt, haunting Izuna with the memories of his own utter lack of care and concern back then when his brother suffered alone behind the enemy lines.
Keeping his gentle hold over the frail wrist, Izuna ignored the tensed muscles under his palm and stubbornly held on.
Tobirama has never given up on loving him after all, thus Izuna would not give up attempting to mend their broken relationship.
He was the one who burnt their bridge after all.
Rebuilding it would take a lot of effort.
Izuna was at his wit's end.
In all seriousness, how did Tobirama survived this for a whole twenty-something year?
It has only been a few weeks being at the receiving end of his brother's cold wariness yet Izuna was so close to breaking down, so close to throwing all sense of dignity out of the window and grovel for forgiveness right at Tobirama's feet.
He would have done that, no longer caring at this point, but Madara and Kagami have each put a hand on his shoulder and give him a stern gaze.
"No. Don't manipulate his feelings like that," they had said.
So Izuna didn't. He didn't drop by his brother's feet and beg for forgiveness.
(But Gods, he really wanted to.)
The twisting hurt in his chest was unbearable, no matter how much Izuna knew that he deserved the cautious coldness Tobirama was channelling every time they stood in close proximity to each other.
How did Tobirama survive this? Izuna didn't even have the decency back then to pretend that he liked Tobirama. Contrary to that, Tobirama still has the grace to pretend in public, fooling even Hashirama that he and Izuna have completely mended their broken brotherhood.
Compared to that, Izuna's current predicament was easy.
After all, it must have been worse for Tobirama to be at the receiving end of Izuna's unfiltered hatred.
But it was not easy, no it was not.
"This is your house too," Izuna strained hard to not sound pleading, knowing that if he let the words came out as pleas, Tobirama would cave into his words despite his own feelings.
Manipulating his brother's soft heart was the last thing Izuna wanted to do when he was aiming to regain Tobirama's broken and fragile trust.
"Stay overnight," thus, Izuna insisted again, gesturing wildly over the hallway. "I keep your room clean while you're gone. Madara can have the extra futon."
Tobirama hesitated, wariness flickered in his eyes as bijuu-infused chakra spread around the perimeter. There was a spike of adrenaline and caution that tainted the furl of chakra as Tobirama sought around the perimeter, looking for unseen threats.
It was expected—this distrustful reaction—considering that Izuna and the Uchiha clan used to seek for every opening possible to assassinate him, using all means possible to end his life. But it still hurt, to know that his brother didn't even trust their clan enough to feel safe in the compound. It was irrational, to feel hurt for something that they brought upon themselves, but Izuna was never famed for his rationality.
It was justified, of course. Tobirama's distrust was perfectly justified. Their clan has given nothing but pain and grief to the silver-haired man. They hurled verbal abuse to his face every chance they got. They sent out assassins to take him out. They tampered his food and drinks with poison. Heck, they even stooped so low to use Tobirama's kids—little Kagami first, followed by other children— as their agents to assassinate the man.
They earned this distrust.
"That might be a good idea," Madara chirped, planting himself right in his seat like his brother's mokuton has rooted him there. "Give you a break from the kids. You haven't gotten much sleep this past week, always fretting over them and all."
Izuna was deeply grateful for the Senju's willingness to help his cause.
"They are not a burden," Tobirama retorted, but from the slack of his shoulders underneath that loose Senju kimono shirt, it was evident that he was not about to argue more. "They are just handful."
Madara rolled his eyes.
"And you're just discharged from the hospital," the Senju retorted. "Take up your brother's offer and spend a peaceful sleep here tonight," Madara huffed, scowling when Tobirama opened his mouth. "Kagami raised those kids without you for a whole year. He can survive a night hearing them complain of not being able to sleep with you."
"Sometimes, I think you hate my boy."
"Your boy hates me."
Tobirama frowned. "No, he doesn't," he said, striding towards the Senju to curl by Madara's side. "Kagami adores you."
Madara snorted but didn't say anything.
Izuna had been there when Kagami pulled the Senju aside to give him the talk and it was both amusing and horrifying to see the colour drained from Madara's face when Kagami colourfully described what he was going to do to a very specific anatomy of Madara should Tobirama showed the slightest sign of hurt.
The creepily grinning children surrounding them was the drizzling extra rich sauce of that dango.
The pair then retreated to a hushed a conversation that Izuna didn't bother to eavesdrop. Madara has the grace of putting their rivalry aside to help Izuna mend his broken brotherhood with Tobirama, so it was perfectly polite for Izuna to return that gesture by allowing the Senju some privacy with his beloved. Thus, Izuna walked out of the living room to collect the extra futon for Madara, despite knowing that it would be likely not used, if the way Tobirama clung to Madara on the cot back at the hospital was any hints of their current sleep arrangement.
That would surely give Izuna a headache later, considering that Tobirama's now obvious engagement to Hashirama's little brother would surely cause a riot among the Uchiha elders, but they all owed Tobirama this.
The clan have rejoiced when Hashirama announced that their silver-haired leader was killed in action. They threw a party at what was supposed to be Tobirama's funeral wake. The Uchiha had a silent celebration while the newly born Konoha grieved upon that loss.
It was Senju Madara who refused to give up and went into a solo infiltration behind Kumo's borders—the mission that originally aimed to bring Tobirama's corpse back.
Instead of a corpse, Madara brought back a living and breathing Tobirama.
The Uchiha clan has no say in who Tobirama chose. They owed him nothing to have that authority over his head.
Plus, if they have any problem and made a fuss with it, Izuna was sure that Hashirama and Kagami would be kind enough to share the hitlist with him.
Madara was the equivalent to safety and comfort to Tobirama.
Izuna hoped that one day Tobirama would see those in their clan too.
Weeks passed. Madara and Tobirama have gotten closer, now openly displaying affections in public—all the hand-holding, hugs and cheek kisses that successfully made Konoha went into a flowery mood, happy for their happiness—instead of the secret dates they had before.
Madara has completely owned Tobirama's heart and vice versa.
Izuna couldn't say that he has achieved the same result in these months he tried to win his brother's heart back.
How Izuna wished that he could rewind the time.
Despite his best effort to rebuild his broken brotherhood with his elder brother, there was still a barrier that Izuna could not penetrate to reach Tobirama's heart.
He now regretted the years he spent hurting his brother when Tobirama has worn his heart out for Izuna. Back then, Tobirama has shown Izuna his heart, sincere and hopeful to be real brothers and what did Izuna do?
He crushed his brother's heart without a second thought.
And now, despite the lingering smile that Tobirama shown him, despite their superficially good relationship, Tobirama has completely closed off his heart to Izuna. It was like trying to grasp at a mist. He could still see it—see the unconditional love Tobirama still have for him, see the place Tobirama still reserve for him in his heart—yet Izuna could not reach it, stopped by fear and distrust that he knew his brother has no control of.
Trauma, Hashirama has murmured to him once, when the Hokage caught Izuna staring longingly at Tobirama's back. The constant rejection and abuse that Izuna hurled towards Tobirama during their younger years growing up together was a constant sore spot in Tobirama's mind. It then morphed into trauma after Kumo, because what T&I agents would not use such glaring weakness against a prisoner who might as well be a legend of their era?
Kumo broke Tobirama's mind using the memories of Izuna's abuse.
Izuna wished that he could rewind the time and undo all the pain and trauma he had unknowingly inflicted on his brother.
How he wished he could rewind time.
He wanted to return to their childhood and stopped himself from establishing this foundation of hatred that was the base of their relationship. He wanted to wrap his arms around Tobirama's small body when his brother grieved upon his lost family—the mother and little brother that have left him—and assured that they still have each other, Uchiha Tajima's last sons. He wanted to stop his clan from hurling verbal abuse to his brother, knowing that they only dared to do that because Izuna was okay with it and Tajima was out on clan business.
He wanted to stop these painful memories from ever forming inside Tobirama's head.
Izuna wanted to rewind the time and fix every mistake he did to his brother.
But he couldn't.
What's done was done.
Tobirama would forever hold memories of horrible past, tainted with loss and abuse.
To rewind time is impossible.
Izuna has completely forgotten that Tobirama's answer to all impossibility was challenge accepted.
It was a year later when the gods answered Izuna's fleeting wish.
It was one of the rare winter days. The snowy day that would only hit Fire Country when Mother Nature decided to fuck with the ecosystem and gifted the ever warm and sunny Fire Country with its first snow in eighty years. Most of the shinobi have not lived long enough to witness such strange phenomena, only having heard of its tales from their elders or from anyone who has the luck to be sent to the mission at countries with a colder climate than Fire Country. Winter in Fire Country was typically equal to the rainy season and never went cold enough to have these strange white fluffiness that floated down from the heavens. Thus, they bundled up in their warmest mission gear and explored their curiosity of the rare natural phenomenon. Merchants were quick to seize the chance of business and it wasn't long before Konoha involuntarily started a festival to celebrate the first snow in the village's history.
Izuna was obediently waiting in Hashirama's office with the rest of the founders and Clan Head as they waited for Madara to retrieve Tobirama from the labs when he got his wish answered.
Hashirama wanted to organise some kind of game events to celebrate the snow. The Hokage was being oddly chirpy despite the snow not being a good element for his trees, but Hashirama has claimed that the snow won't be permanent and they all should enjoy this gift while it hasn't melted yet. Thus, he has called all of the Clan Head to his office to organise the game events, wanting to unite everyone in Konoha—civilian and shinobi, children and adults, humans and summons—through a friendly gaming festival.
They were arguing about the scoring rubric for the snowman building competition when Hashirama's door was literally busted open and destroyed for good by the man's own little brother.
"ANIKI!ANE-UE!"
On a normal occasion, Madara's frantic flailing would have earned a well-deserved laugh. But today, not one soul in the office knew how to react to Madara's violent and ungraceful entrance.
The Senju Clan Heir's hair was wet with traces of snow while puffs of cold mist slipped out of his panting pale lips. Madara was not wearing any coat—the thick outerwear was bunched up in his arms instead—and the Senju has all but flailed, extending the bundle in his arms like that would explain what the heck just happened to make him this frazzled and panicked.
Then, there was a tiny sneeze, the bundle shifted in Madara's arms and a silver head poked out of the bundle to peek at them with wary wide black eyes.
Oh.
Madara has all the rights to be panicked.
"I went to his lab and found him like this," Madara blurted out, less yelling now as his panic been reduced to the acceptable level upon meeting Hashirama's calm gaze. "He didn't remember me. Or Konoha. Heck, he was asking for Tajima."
A shrunken, de-aged and amnesiac Tobirama. Madara has all the rights in the world to panic indeed.
Heck, even Mito would not berate him for destroying the door of the Hokage's office. The woman was busy gaping herself, for once was speechless as her eyes widened in shock.
Hashirama, on the other hand, simply blinked, gaze flat and deeply unimpressed as he eyed the little boy in Madara's hold.
"I take it that is my nephew?" the Hokage asked, as if he was so used to weird shenanigans that Madara seemed to routinely pull out of literal nowhere.
"IT'S NOT TIME FOR THAT JOKE, HASHI."
The Hokage chuckled, head thrown back in genuine amusement. "Just trying to lighten the atmosphere," he hummed as he rose from his seat, bending a little to level his gaze with Tobirama's once he was in front of Madara. "Hello, Tobi," he greeted with a gentle smile. "Aren't you extra adorable today?"
A light flush rose up to the pale chubby cheeks.
"What the actual fuck—?"
"Language!" Madara and Chonami hissed the exact time Inomaru slapped a hand across Shikako mouth.
The wide dark eyes blinked at the Nara woman, almost adorably, even when they morphed into two different patterns of Eternal Mangekyou.
They all waited with bated breath, allowing the spinning gaze to scrutinise them—some of the Clan Heads were petrified with awe as this was the first time they have witnessed Tobirama's sharingan after the three-way transplant—before it finally landed square on Izuna.
"So he is not lying."
Izuna's breath hitched upon hearing that curious voice.
There was no strain of years-worth pain in that voice. Tobirama's voice was the exact same like when Izuna first met him, filled with childish wonders and curiosity, a dash of reasonable caution of course (they were shinobi after all), but his voice was not yet tainted with hurt and fear of being hated by his own clan.
"Why would I lie to you?!" Madara squawked, sounding deeply offended as he poked on the soft baby fats of Tobirama's cheeks. "I would never lie to you."
"More like you couldn't," Touka sniffed, though her sharp predatory gaze was eyeing little Tobirama with pure manic interest. "And you're right, Hashi...," she purred. "Kid is totally adorable."
Madara reflexively pulled Tobirama's small frame tighter to his chest, curling over the shrunken Uchiha protectively.
"Stay away from him, you cougar."
"Now, now baby cousin...," Touka grinned, flashing her fangs with an unveiled threat. "No need to be so possessive."
"No," Madara growled, low and deep in his throat before he sent a warning glare to the squirming child in his arms. "And you, how could you think that I will ever lie to you?!"
"You're a Senju," Tobirama huffed, narrowing his dual-patterned sharingan towards the man. "Weird as it is, your chakra carries a strong Senju signature. We're enemies," he added, red eyes skimming across the office before it once again landed on Izuna. A frown then graced the child's face. "We're all enemies yet there is no harm done upon that Uchiha."
That Uchiha.
Izuna felt his heart spasmed and twisted upon hearing those flat words, despite knowing that there was no way this Tobirama could remember his chakra signature. Judging from his frame, Tobirama could not be anymore older than nine, thus making the Izuna in his memories to be around seven years old—too young to have properly developed chakra coils like Izuna now.
This unfamiliarity was expected.
Yet, it hurts to be seen as a stranger by his own brother.
Madara spluttered.
"MY CHAKRA IS NOT WEIRD!"
"You have strong katon within you," Tobirama sniffed, but made no move to resist Madara's tightening embrace around his body. "The Senju is a clan of growth. Their elements are typically suiton and doton—the elements that grow."
"Well, you're an Uchiha and the strongest suiton user!" Madara argued, seems to have forgotten that he was in a room of leaders who now was witnessing him arguing with a child. "That logic is flawed!"
They all didn't expect for Tobirama's small shoulders to slump, his rounded jaw trembled as he lowered his gaze, hands shaking with tremors against Madara's broad chest.
Izuna swallowed the bile that rose up to his throat, already hearing the words before it slipped out of Tobirama's pale lips.
"I didn't belong among the Uchiha."
Izuna squeezed his eyes shut, regret and anger washed down his entire form.
Regret, because those were the exact words he hurled towards Tobirama all those years ago.
Anger, because his younger self was the one who planted that poisonous thought inside Tobirama's mind.
He didn't even have to open his eyes to feel the stares that were directed on him as the pieces fell to places. Izuna knew that other Clan Heads have been picking up signs—especially the Ino-Shika-Cho trio, whose loyalty to Tobirama has gone beyond anyone would have expected—and it was only the matter of time before the feud within the Uchiha came to their knowledge.
"Their loss then," Chonami's words were dripping with venom as she strode towards the trembling bundle in Madara's arms. "I'm Akimichi Chonami, at your service, sir," she introduced herself, lips curled to a pleasant smile.
It was a reflex term, considering that Chonami has been called out of retirement a few times to work under Tobirama's leadership for a few missions that required her specialities, but Tobirama was gaping at her anyway, acting like he couldn't believe what she just used to refer to him.
(Which was perfectly understandable, because his current form was that of a child and to have a middle-aged woman referring to him like he was her respectable commander was probably freaking him out more than he let on.)
Before Tobirama could even gather himself, Inomaru continued on with the introduction.
"Yamanaka Inomaru, sir," the blonde man tipped his head, lips quirking to a tiny grin. "What do you know of your current situation, Tobirama-sama?"
Tobirama blinked, seemingly to be taken aback at the respectful honorific but he was a prodigious shinobi for a reason thus he promptly snapped to attention, answering the question with a firm unwavering tone.
"I was told that I shrunk in age by a few decades," he started, giving a somewhat suspicious gaze at Madara. "That I'm supposedly thirty-two years old instead of eight and the war has ended a few years ago."
"And you founded Konoha alongside with me," Hashirama added with a gentle smile, placing his large hand over the silver fluffy tuft of hair. "Do you remember anything before you shrunk?"
To this, Tobirama shook his head.
"It could be a seal," Mito hummed with unveiled interest, gliding towards her brother-in-law and reached her hand to tip Tobirama's soft chin up. "You're a fuuinjutsu master," she added with a gentler voice upon meeting the boy's confused gaze. "As I am. We often collaborate together."
There was a bright excited glaze in Tobirama's eyes upon meeting her firm smile.
"It could be one of his experiments too," Inomaru piped in, already in professional mode now. "The children is testing out the fountain of youth legend. Tobirama-sama might have helped with their pet project."
"Like the unreasonable doting father he is...," Madara grumbled, sending a glare at the silver-haired child in his arms. "You spoiled your kids way too much."
Tobirama looked up at him with widened hopeful dark eyes, lips trembling as if something in the Senju's words have given him hope. He opened his mouth a few times, seeming like he wanted to speak, but no words came out.
When he finally did speak, it was in the form of a tiny hopeful squeak.
"Someone loves me enough to raise a family with me?"
It was an innocent hopeful question—a perfectly justified question to anyone that knew the craving for love Tobirama had ever since Tajima brought him into the Uchiha—but the reactions to his question were anything but innocent.
If looks could kill Izuna would have been a dead splat by the wall.
But he didn't care.
His gaze was fixed on the eight-year-old boy in Madara's embrace—the small form of his elder brother, still untouched by the hatred of the world—and Izuna saw a chance of atonement.
This time around, Izuna was going to shower his brother with all the love that Tobirama deserved.
This time, he will do it right.
A/N: And the award for the most horrible muse goes to...
Really, I hate my muse for feeding this idea to me. But he is kinda miffed I left out Grandma Sachiko's reaction to Tobirama's return and that complaint spiral down to this.
Tobirama shrunk to the age of 8 with no memories what so ever beyond that age. Though, he still has his EMS (because come on, he was shrunken, not transported back from past) and Tabi is still in his belly, deeply amused to be a kitten again. Unlike Tobi, Tabi has the memories of what happened but decided not to share because she is an asshole cat that loves Tobi so much but enjoys tormenting Konoha.
And Kagami is not there because he is running late. Team Demon decided to band together against their captain to force him to wash away all the blood and grime from their last mission first before allowing Kagami to attend the Clan Head meeting.
Next up might include Izuna playing father to shrunken Tobi and Kagami's reaction. Idk. I don't trust my muse to not whisper anything else to me.
Till then, enjoy. And please curse my muse. He is horrible.