Toboe and his grandmother might take to Elysian fields between rebirths of the world, but Quent's paradise is a little more prosaic.
A/N: Just a one-shot. The surprise guests are there because I love 'em and would've liked to see how they'd interact with Quent. If I owned Wolf's Rain, Kiba would've walked by the bar in the final scene. Meta? What meta? I'm as guilty of some of the tropes Quent and Cher mock as any other fan writer, although I've at least avoided the OFC Sue so far...
"I have to say, it is nice to have a night off," Cher said, stirring the toothpick in her martini. "I'd rather be back at the lab, but there's only so much you can do once the proverbial horse has already left the barn."
Hubb put a hand to her shoulder and smiled. "At least the company is nice, right?"
The doctor looked past him to Quent Yaiden, who was just polishing off his fourth shot of vodka. "No comment," she said archly. "Are you going to be okay getting home, Quent?"
The broad-shouldered former sheriff shrugged and ran his wrist across his mouth. "What there is left of it."
"Come on, you and Blue don't have it that badly, do you?" Hubb asked, attempting to cheer up his companion.
"What I get is bad enough, and I'm not even sure I want to know half of what Blue goes through." Quent signaled for another round. "You guys get it easy: married couple, left in the background, no amazing skills or history…"
"We're divorced," Cher snapped, wringing the stem of her glass between three fingers.
The gray-haired man shrugged, his lips turning upwards in a humorless smile. "It's all the same to them," he said in an airy sing-song before throwing down his next shot. "I hate wolves."
"Come on, it's not anything they can really help," Hubb attempted to reason with him.
"Maybe not, but usually, when somebody decides to adopt someone, it's the parent making that decision, right?" Quent's hands were beginning to shake a little around the whiskey glass as he lifted it in an accusatory toast. "'Snot like any of the beasties came up to you and started calling you Mom and Dad…"
"Easy, Pops…" Hubb said, opening up a warning hand. The wolf hunter jumped back, nearly falling off the stool.
"Come on, not you, too… I ain't that old…" Quent muttered.
"Sorry… I didn't mean anything by it," the detective apologized, helping him back to the stool.
"Only Bruce and Blue call me that," Yaiden muttered, shakily regaining his grip on the shot glass and signaling for round six. "And Toboe," he added as if in an afterthought. Quent picked up his hat and shoved it on low over his eyes. "And if Hige and Tsume keep going the way they have been, I'm gonna end up as a father to the whole damn pack…"
"Is it a bad thing that they like you? It's not like you have Hubb's allergies." Cher raised an eyebrow and took another sip of her gray goose.
"Nah, but you know what Darcia said…" Beneath his hat, Quent seemed more willing to slow down and at least take a glance at what he was drinking.
"Lord Darcia said a lot of things," Cher countered him, not pleased with the new subject of conversation.
"'Wolves that have forgotten their true forms' ring any bells for you?" Quent peered at them sideways from beneath the brim.
"They say that in reference to us, too. Who knows? It might even be true." Hubb chuckled, but Yaiden was quick to cut him off.
"Don't even joke about that," Quent growled. "I ain't one of them."
"Old man still in denial?" a new voice asked.
Yaiden reached into his coat, grabbing the stock of his rifle. "Please don't antagonize him, Zali," the purple-haired female approaching the bar warned.
"It's good to know what you are, where your place in life is. Less heartache all around that way," the tall, tawny-haired man said, plopping down next to Quent at the bar. "Two beers and a large bowl of peanuts. You want anything, Cole?" Zali asked.
"Just a water," his mate replied tiredly. "We need to save what we can."
"You two, for instance, belong skinned on my wall." Quent glared at the two disguised wolves, his eyes crossing slightly from alcohol and the effort of trying to see through their projections. "You've seen dead wolves, Hubb. You tell them what I am."
"Let them alone, Quent," Cher said as her ex sneezed into a napkin. "They're not looking for trouble, are you, Cole?"
"Just picking up where we left off," the she-wolf said, primly taking a sip of her water and reaching for the bowl of nuts. Zali grumbled, but let her have some.
"Some of us know how to quit while we still can," the tall male said, giving Quent and the women a half-pitying, condescending glance.
"That doesn't explain what you're doing here," Quent said, withdrawing his hand slowly from the gun. The other upon his vodka did not move, save for the involuntary shaking.
"Just getting a drink," Cole said quickly. "And then we'll be on our way."
"Not all of us can make a living stealing and burning down towns, after all. A few of us actually have jobs." Zali stretched and gave Yaiden a toothy yawn.
"Some wolves are better behaved than others," Quent acknowledged unwillingly, moving his stool closer to Hubb Lebowski.
"Speaking of ill-behaved wolves, what did you mean by 'the way Tsume's going'?" Hubb asked from behind the shelter of a handkerchief. "He never struck me as the sort to take much to an authority figure."
"Oh, it's not me he's following around." Yaiden gave him a dry chuckle. "You watch him and Toboe, and then you tell me, Detective Dandy."
"Who's repeating conjectures now?" Cher asked the air in front of her.
"I know what I've seen," Quent said stubbornly, adjusting the collar of his coat and straightening his hat. "I'm getting out of here."
"Be careful," Cher called after him, but Quent waved her off and continued to carefully stagger towards the door.
"Stubborn old guy," Zali observed, taking another swig of his beer.
"He'll be all right," Hubb said, leaving the "I hope" unspoken but understood. "I mean, we're in Paradise. What's the worst that could happen?"
The scarred wolf gave the man a long stare. "You have no idea."