Okay so what is happening is that I am reviewing all of my stories because they are poorly written and I want to improve them, This particular story is rather dark so it will probably take longer to update as this would be hard to write all the time and I don't want to screw it up somewhere along the way. I rather like dark stories however to I'm just going to say to all of you so I don't get any flames that this story is not for the feint of heart or Cullen-Lovers, it involves heavy Edward & Alice bashing I agent decided about Jasper & Emmett yet but Rosalie is going to be involved, I'm not to sure about the Volturi but hopefully I can incorporate them. Violence, Strong language, and all the other warning that usually comes along with these kind of stories. I hope you guys all end up loving this as much as I do.
MolliePotter.
Sometimes when I am alone, I feel so utterly hopeless without Edward by my side.
Everything I do, can be done quicker, more efficiently, and neater than I could ever have achieved. Not that I don't love Edward. I do. It's just that I feel so weak and stupid, much like a child whenever I'm around him. My emotions are running away from me again.
Edward said that I should learn to take better control of my emotions and that it is inappropriate around his family.
Edward said that I should be more submissive to him.
Edward said I should learn to dress better and that my current 'state of apparel' was unbecoming of a lady and is not welcome in his presence.
In my mind it's always 'Edward says or Edward thinks' and for some unknown reason I try to the best of my ability to do whatever he asks. I don't want to see Edward dissapointed in me.
I love him.
It was a constant chant that was invading my mind day in and day out, everything around me reminding me of him. Just seeing his crooked smile or his gorgeous hair that is the obvious envy of all mortals is enough to clear my mind about any wondering thoughts and remind myself of him. I can't explain it.
Maybe it's because I have been deemed worthy as his soul-mate
'Ting!'
I let out a small squeak in surprise as the washing machine across from where I was sitting, beeped. 'Had it already been an hour?' I rub my eyes and try to find a clock on the wall. Time really does fly when you having 'fun'.
"Hey lady!," a rough looking man said next to me. "You gonna get ya stuff or what? other people are waitin here!"
"Yea... s-sorry," I mumbled reaching into the washing machine for mine and Charlie's clothes. I hurried out of the laundromat. I wouldn't even of gone if Charlie didn't decide to try and do the washing himself! I swear the things that man gets up to when I'm not home instead of putting washing up liquid in the washing machine he put in baking soda, how could you possibly have mixed them up?. I bet you anything Alice saw the damn thing practically flooding my house. Probably a scheme to make me wear clothes that she 'provided'.
I stepped outside into the light rain, and walked quickly to my red rusty old truck, carefully watching my feet. Wouldn't want me to decorate the side walk with my face would we?
I jump into my truck and push the clothes basket into the back seat of my car. Turning the key into the ignition , my truck started up. Granted it might not be the most pleasant noise in the world with all of the hissing and groaning coming from the engine, but it gets the job done.
Maybe I should let Edward buy me a car. In any case at least it will stop Lauren Mallory from making snide remarks every time she thinks the Cullen's can't hear her. Bitch. Thankfully Emmett almost always stand up for me, sometimes they can't though or else it would be suspicious. That's what Edward tells me.
I park my truck in the garage and hastily put all of Charlie and my clothes away before attempting to clean up my room so it was ready for Edward later tonight. He had text me earlier saying he wanted to come over tonight, since Charlie isn't home. 'This is it!' my mind screamed at me, 'this is the night you can make sweet, passionate love to Edward!' I hurriedly turned the shower on too as hot as I could bear, before stripping down and hesitantly stepping in.
All of my muscles immediately began to relax, taking all of the tension over the last few days with them. From Jasper lunging at me to getting shouted at by Edward AND Charlie for being so reckless. When Charlie got told the false story he got mad, but not nearly as mad as Edward. I remember him only a few hours after the party practically shouting at me for being so stupid as to get a paper cut around his family. I can also remember him shaking me so hard that it hurt and left bruises the next day. And then.. nothing. I frown in confusion, my memory goes blank as I remember breathing in the sweet scent of his breath.
What did he do to me?
I stand there in the shower letting the water cascade down my body. Has this happened before? I think back to over the past few weeks, recalling all those times Edward and I got together. And yet again I can't remember anything about the past week except for alice and him. What's happening to me?
Stepping out of the shower and turning the water off, I quickly dried myself and threw on a dark blue shirt and white pants before plopping myself down onto my bed. Why am I only thinking of this now? and why would Edward want to wipe my mind? if that's even possible... Vampires can't wipe minds... right? The more I think about it the more I realize I dont really know anything about vampires. At all. I only found out there was a secret Mafia-like council or something 3 days ago. What else could there be?
I was once more pulled out of my thoughts buy a sharp trilling noise.
I honestly have no idea why Edward insists on using the door, I mean why doesn't he just go through my window like any other vampire or werewolf in this town? I chuckled a little before launching myself of the bed and gaining an odd look from Edward as I answer the door.
"Hey honey," I said, attempting to bring him in for a kiss. Which he deflected, I leant back angry and rejected, I've just about had enough of this little shi-
"Bella, come for a walk with me," he said, his voice entrancing as I found myself staring at his lips again. His rosy, thin lips. I found myself fascinated by the way they move, almost like a beautiful dance...
"Bella! answer me," he said, the harshness of his tone surprising me.
"Y-yes I would love to Edward," I managed to stutter out. I mentally scolded myself for behaving in such a weak manor around him, what was I to be afraid of?
"Good, grab your coat and don't worry about Charlie. I promise we won't be more than 30 minutes at most." His tone sent a shiver down my spine, but I did as he asked anyway before following him out the door.
"So where are we going anyway Edward?" I said irritated. I had been trudging and pulling my way through the damp under brush of the forest for half-a-fucking hour, whilst Edward made it seem as if it was the easiest thing in the world.
Edward ignored me... again. I swear I have asked him like 3 times now and its the same obnoxious silence every time. I huffed and grumbled. I know I was being childish but it was starting to get cold and I had begun to shiver.
Grumbling for a few minutes more, I tried again "Edwar-," I yelped as I tripped over a tree root and began to fall, my arms tightened around myself as I expected a pair of stone cold hands to wrap around me and stop me from falling.
But they never came.
I hit the ground with a heavy thud and gasped as my knee had the unfortunate pleasure of hitting a blunt rock. I began to sit up whilst cradling my knee and heard Edward's sigh coming from my left.
"I suppose here will do," Edward said.
"Do what?" I said majorly pissed off. He is a vampire and he didn't catch me. What. The. Fuck. Bending down to wipe my previously white jeans.
"Bella, my family and I are leaving, we have stayed here for to long" He said, in such a monotone tone voice that I couldn't look at him for a minute or two.
"I'm sorry I don't understand" I muttered not trusting my voice to not reveal my thoughts.
"Me and my family are leaving"
"Okay, well this is sudden. I guess I'll have to call Charlie and say I got accepted into some fancy new colle-"
"Bella I don't want you to come with us." he said staring into my eyes, with pity. Like I was a kicked puppy or something.
" you...don't...want...me...?" I said my voice coming out more cracked and broken with every word. Of course he wouldn't want me. Who would? even my own mother shoved me off onto my dad the first chance she got.
"NO." He said as if scolding a child. I could feel the tears that were in my eyes begin to fall
"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much," he said.
"Anything," I vowed, my voice faintly stronger.
"Don't do anything reckless or stupid like you usually do," he ordered. "Do you understand what I'm saying? "..."I'm thinking of Charlie , of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself for him."
"I will," What can I do to keep him here with me. I thought desperately. Anything Bella, think of anything!
"And I'll make you a promise in return," he said, "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."
"Edward please... don't... You can't just GO!"
"I'm sorry Bella. I should have known not to string somebody such as yourself along" he said in distaste. " My family finally made me wake up and realize how stupid I was being. But no matter, no matter I have fixed it now"
His family? Emmett and Rosalie? they're going to leave me too?
"Goodbye Bella"
"Edward," his name died on my lips as I saw him speed away, my knees dropped to the ground. How had he managed to break my heart a thousand times over? it was like a physical pain trying to pull me down through the ground.
So why try to fight it?
Penny for your thoughts?