Jac Naylor was in a foul mood. Such a foul mood, in fact, that when Fletch sauntered in the direction of her office, humming a tune under his breath, Frieda had no option but to grab his arm and pull him away before he could even think about knocking (or walking straight in, which was what he often did now).
"You do not want to go in there, Fletch," Frieda warned him quietly.
"Why not? Is she okay?" Fletch frowned, concerned when Frieda actually looked slightly scared.
"I have no idea, but she has already made two nurses cry this morning, and she told me that she was not to be disturbed for any reason."
Fletch asked Frieda if she knew why she was in such a bad mood, but an even stare from the doctor made him let out a small chuckle. Of course she wouldn't know. Jac Naylor didn't show weakness in front of anyone.
"Well, I'd like to check in on her anyway. Do you have the files for the patients she's operating on today? I'll just go and ask her to sign off on them."
Frieda glanced to the side before giving a casual shrug of the shoulders. "Ms Naylor is not operating today," she informed him. "There are only two elective surgeries scheduled for today, and I am leading on both of them."
Fletch frowned. It was very unusual for there to be that few surgeries on the board for one day; and even more unusual that Jac wasn't planned in on either of them.
"She's purposely not booked in a full list?" he inquired.
"It is almost like she knew that she would be in a bad mood today," she quipped.
"Yeah," Fletch said thoughtfully, "It's not normal." Squaring his shoulders, he announced resolutely, "I'm going in."
As he got to the closed door of the consultant's office, he raised his hand, deciding that if she was already in a bad mood, he shouldn't make it worse by just barging in. He knocked.
"Go away!" came the stern voice from inside. Jac Naylor was in full Ice-Queen mode today, apparently. Not that it scared Fletch, who decided to ignore her order, and pushed the handle down to open the door.
It didn't budge. It was locked.
"I said, go away, Fletch!"
"How did you know it was me?" Fletch asked cheekily, hoping to charm his way in. This time there was no reply. After knocking again, but this time being met with a stony silence, he gave up and walked off to his office, pulling his phone out of his pocket when it pinged to announce the arrival of a text.
Can't do this today, just leave me alone.
Sighing, he sent a reply to the woman who was locked away in her office, before getting on with his day.
Sorry Jac, I don't desert my friends when they're having a bad day. I'll respect you and leave you be for now, but I'll swing by again at lunch, just to check in. You don't have to let me in if you don't want to. x
So, at lunch time, true to his word, Fletch was stood outside Jac's office, a boxed salad held in one hand as he knocked gently on the door.
"Go away!"
"It's Fletch," he said softly, resting his head against the door. "I know you've not left the office all morning so I've brought you some lunch."
Silence.
"Please, Jac, you need to eat."
Pausing, he listened as there was movement from within the office, and the door slightly opened. Through the crack, Fletch could see Jac staring warily at him; her scrubs were creased from being sat down all morning, her hair was pulled up in a bun on top of her head, and the glasses resting on her nose couldn't hide her red-rimmed eyes. At some point this morning, Jac had been crying.
"Hi," Fletch whispered, smiling sadly when he just got a nod in response. "Can I come in?"
"No," Jac said firmly, some of the bite missing from her voice now that she was face to face with Fletch.
"Okay," he accepted, holding up the salad, "But at least promise me that you'll eat?"
Nodding, Jac took the box from him, before closing the door again, Fletch feeling slightly reassured when he didn't hear her lock it again. Taking out his phone, he sent her another message, which went unanswered, and then got back to work.
I'll swing by again at the end of the day. If you need me, text me. I'll be there. x
And so, here he was once more. The end of the day. He knocked gently on the door, and when there was no answer, he tried the handle, grateful to find that the door was still unlocked. Peering cautiously into the office, he frowned when he saw Jac with her head in her hands, her whole body shaking.
"Jac?" Fletch asked, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. Jac looked up; only just registering that somebody had walked in.
"For God's sake, Fletch, I thought I told you to leave me alone. Just go home already!"
"Can't do that, sorry Jac," he said calmly as he stepped towards her, staying on the other side of the desk so that she didn't feel trapped.
"Why not? Haven't you got a brood of kids to mollycoddle? Go and fuss over them and leave me in peace."
Fletch frowned. Whatever was upsetting her must be really bad; she never usually got this irate with him now. Normally she would just avoid his questions, or give him just enough to let him comfort her. It had been a long time since she had closed herself off to him like this. He grabbed a chair that was placed against the wall, and sat down in front of her desk.
"What's happened, Jac?"
"Bloody hell, Fletch, can't you take a hint? I do not want to talk to you. Leave me alone. Go away. Shoo. Vamoose. Get out."
"No."
"Fine." Jac got up, moving towards her door. As she grabbed the door handle to leave, her mobile rang, and, closing her eyes in frustration, she accepted the call without looking at the ID.
"Naylor… Jonny, is Emma okay?... No, you're having her tonight… I don't care if you've got a date with Megan bloody Fox, you agreed ages ago to have her tonight, and you can't just dump her because you've had a better offer!"
Seeing Jac getting more and more agitated, Fletch stepped in, gesturing to Jac to pass him the phone. Rolling her eyes, she passed it to him, and Fletch put it to his ear to speak to the nurse who he'd only spoken to a few times previously when Jac was still recovering in hospital.
"Hi mate, it's Fletch… Yeah, I'm fine thanks. Listen, Jac isn't feeling great today, and she could do without having to have Emma tonight too… No, I'm not sure what's wrong, she's been off all day… Her mum? Hey!" He shouted in surprise when Jac swiped the phone from him, shouting down it at her ex, who had obviously said the wrong thing.
"What the hell, Jonny?... Thinking out loud? You weren't thinking at all! What gives you the right to tell anyone you like about my personal stuff?... Whatever, Jonny… Oh, so I'm supposed to thank you for looking after your own daughter as you promised months ago?... Yeah, you're a real stand up guy."
As she hung up the phone, she felt her body trembling in anger, and was calmed by Fletch's hand on her shoulder. She took a moment to allow herself to feel comforted, before straightening up and stepping away.
"Sorry about that, Fletch, but you've done your bit, you can go now."
Letting his hand drop by his side again, Fletch couldn't help but ask, "Why did Jonny mention your mum when I said you'd had a bad day."
"I wouldn't know," Jac said, trying to sound dismissive, but unable to hide the small break in her voice.
"I think you do," Fletch prompted her softly, not wanting to push her, but wanting to help her all the same.
Jac sighed, before wrapping her arms around her waist, saying quietly, "It's the anniversary of my mum's death today."
"I'm sorry," Fletch said, stepping forward to try and offer some comfort, but stopping when she shook her head: she would snap if she let him comfort her. She was only just keeping her composure as it was.
"How old were you when she died?" he asked, which made Jac frown in confusion.
"How old do you think I was?" she asked curiously.
Unsure what she was getting at, Fletch explained. "Well, I know you were in foster care with Fran as a teenager, so…" he trailed off, surprised when Jac let out a humourless laugh.
"You think I was in foster care because my poor mum died?" she clarified. When he nodded, obviously confused, she simply said, "My mother died four years ago."
"Sorry," Fletch muttered, shaking his head. "I just assumed that you and Jasmine got split up when you went into care, and that she was only little, and that's why it was hard for you to have a relationship with her when she started at the hospital."
"No, you couldn't be further from the truth. I have to say, I'm surprised Donna hasn't told you this story. I would have thought she'd have loved to fill you in on my past."
"Donna knows?" he asked, confused. Donna and Jac weren't exactly best friends. How did she know and he didn't?
"Yeah, not that I had a choice in the matter."
Noticing that she had calmed down a bit, Jac was surprised to find that she suddenly wanted to tell Fletch about it. Resigning herself to this fact, she gestured to the sofa, and Fletch nodded, sitting down, waiting while Jac debated whether to sit next to him or pull up a chair, before perching on the edge of the sofa, wringing her hands in her lap.
Fletch sat in silence, listening as Jac finally opened up about her past. She told him about how Paula had deserted her at the age of twelve, jetting off to India and leaving her behind. With nowhere to go, she ended up in foster care, enduring abuse and bullying from children and adults alike. By the time she left at eighteen to go to medical school, she had the 'Ice-Queen persona' perfected. She went on to explain that Paula came back into her life eight years ago, in need of a kidney transplant. After Jac had donated her one of hers, she had tried to escape again, but Jac had tracked her down to give her the medication she needed. She told him about how she had turned up at a house, to find her mum sat with her grandad, whom she had assumed to be dead. Her grandfather had believed that she had gone to India with her mum, and didn't know she was in foster care.
"That's when I met Jasmine for the first time," Jac said, her voice trembling. "She walked through the door, calling for her mum. She was about sixteen, I think. It was then that I realised that my mother just didn't want me. Jasmine was the daughter she had longed for; the daughter she kept. I would have just held her back, so she forgot about me."
"I'm sure she still thought of you," Fletch said reassuringly, desperate to reach out to her, but knowing it wasn't what Jac needed right now.
"You think so, do you?" Jac snapped. "Then tell me this. On the day that I gave my mother one of my kidneys, why did she not reference the fact that it was my birthday until Donna brought me a cake into the recovery room? She tried to pretend that she organised it all, and Donna, to her credit, went along with it, but I could see it in Donna's eyes that Paula had nothing to do with it."
Fletch sighed. He didn't like to speak ill of the dead, but the woman who was Jac's mother had evidently not done anything for her daughter to deserve the honour of that title.
"So then," Jac continued, taking a deep breath to steel her nerves, "She disappeared from my life again without a trace. Until four years ago, when she turned up again, this time with terminal cancer! Bet she was disappointed that she couldn't just take another organ from me to fix that."
Fletch stayed silent this time, unable to find the right words. How could he even try to defend the woman who had hurt his friend so many times?
"I, erm, I paid her off to leave me alone," Jac admitted quietly. "I couldn't deal with her being in my life again. Emma was just a baby, she'd just had surgery on her heart, Jonny had filed for full custody to take my daughter off me, and I was struggling. So I gave her money to leave. But then…" Jac took a deep breath as she felt the anger bubbling up inside her again, and stood up, pacing back and forth in front of Fletch to try and work it out of her system.
Letting out a breath, Jac continued. "But then she gave that money to Jonny to help him win the custody battle. He let her stay at his home. After deserting me, she actually played a part in trying to have my own daughter taken away from me."
The tears started to slip down her cheeks, and Fletch stood up, desperate to comfort her, but Jac shook her head, holding up a hand to make him stop. She was nearly at the end.
"The cancer soon got worse, and she died. I don't understand, Fletch. I don't really even consider her to be my mum, except in biology, but it hurts every year when this date comes around."
A sob escaped her throat as she looked Fletch straight in the eyes. "Why do I get so upset about the death of a person who could leave me, over and over again, without a second thought? Why am I mourning the woman who left me in foster care, and then tried to take my own daughter away from me? Why, Fletch? Please tell me, because I don't understand."
This time, when Fletch moved towards her, instead of stepping away, Jac stepped forwards, letting him embrace her tightly. Her hands gripped the front of his shirt as she let the tears out, letting the comfort from his hug spread through her body. Fletch pressed gentle kisses into the top of her head as he heard her whispering, "Why?" over and over again.
"I don't know sweetheart," Fletch said quietly, gently rocking them from side to side. "At the end of the day, she was your mum, even if she wasn't a very good one. Maybe it's just your biology kicking in."
"That doesn't make sense," she cried. "I need it to make sense."
"I'm sorry, Jac," Fletch muttered. "I can't give you a logical answer for this. Emotions don't follow logical patterns, no matter how much you want or need it to."
Jac pushed him away. "Fine," she said, obviously trying to get her stone faced persona back in place. "I shouldn't have dumped all this on you. Go home Fletch, I'll see you tomorrow."
Jac turned her back on him, waiting to hear his footsteps carry him away from her. Nothing happened. He didn't leave. Instead, she jumped when she felt his hands land gently on her shoulders, as he kissed the back of her head, whispering, "I'm not going to desert you, Jac. I'm right here."
"Everyone leaves," she muttered, "We might as well get it out of the way now."
The hands on her shoulders applied a bit of pressure, encouraging her to turn around. When she did, she was surprised by Fletch quickly leaning forward to press a chaste kiss against her lips.
"Sorry," he whispered. "Maybe that wasn't the best time to do that for the first time, but I just needed to show you that I'm not going anywhere."
Jac nodded, stepping forward into his embrace again. She tilted her head up to press a kiss to Fletch's chin, the height difference making it impossible for her to reach any higher.
"I can't talk about this today, maybe tomorrow?"
"Of course," Fletch said softly, running a hand down her cheek. "Can I walk you out?"
Jac agreed, and they made their way down to the car park together, before separating to make their way to their own homes.
The next day, Fletch was stood outside Jac's house. She had sent him a text half an hour earlier asking him to come over, and he had to admit that he was nervous. Yesterday had been emotionally intense, and he wasn't quite sure what was going to happen. Taking a deep breath, he raised his hand and knocked sharply on the door.
He couldn't help but smile when Jac opened the door, dressed in blue skinny jeans and a black t-shirt, hair loose and wavy around her shoulders. Stepping back, she let him in, and once she'd closed the door behind him, she quickly turned back, wrapping her arms around him, relieved when he hugged her back just as tightly.
"How are you doing?" he asked softly, running his hands up and down her back.
"Better," she whispered, nodding her head. "Thanks for yesterday, I'm sorry for offloading on you like that."
"Hey," Fletch said, moving one hand up to gently cup her cheek, encouraging Jac to look at him. "I meant what I said yesterday. I'm right here. I'm not going to desert you. Whenever you need me, I'll be there."
Jac bit her lip, glancing away from Fletch as she considered her next words. "What if I always need you?"
"Well, then I'll always be there."
"It can't be that simple," Jac objected. It never had been before for her, after all.
"Why not?" Fletch asked. When Jac just shrugged, unable to give a proper answer, Fletch stroked her cheek softly, before moving in for a kiss. Jac lifted her hands to clasp them behind Fletch's neck. She could feel the kiss getting more passionate, and couldn't help but moan when Fletch pushed her gently against her front door. They hadn't yet moved out of her hallway.
When Fletch heard Jac's breath hitch, he pulled away slightly to check if she was okay, smiling when he saw a flush rise up through her cheeks, and a happy expression spread across her face.
"Okay?" he asked.
Nodding, Jac took Fletch's hand, leading him up the stairs and into her bedroom.
Later on, Jac and Fletch lay curled up together in bed, Jac tracing random patterns on Fletch's chest with her fingers.
"What are you thinking?" he asked. "I can hear your mind whirring."
Jac sighed, shifting her weight up on to her elbow as she looked down at him. "Did you mean what you said? About being here?"
"Of course," Fletch reassured her, running a hand up and down Jac's bare back, causing her to shiver. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
Normally Jac would argue that he couldn't make such an impossible promise, but for once she wanted to simply trust him. Fletch had never lied to her before, and she figured that if he was going to start, he wouldn't choose now to do so.
Fletch watched as Jac thought through his response, and, when her expression evened out, and she smiled at him, he couldn't help but pull her down on to his chest, rolling her under his body and kissing her deeply; an action that Jac was only too happy to respond to.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed this! This idea has been whirring around in my mind for a few days, and I'm quite glad that it actually worked out when I got it written down. Well, I think it worked out anyway! Please review!