(((WARNING: This was written while under the influence of the worst cold I can ever remember having. In other words, it was written while my mom and my sister, pretty much my best friends, were both annoyed with me to the point of ignoring me. Yeah, I'm not a fun person to be around when I'm sick. Anyway, I kept getting blocked, stopping, and writing again, so some of it is kind of disjointed.
Okay, also, I should warn that some of Carina's insults, both directed at other people and at her, are a little bit worse than they were in the other two.
Umm… oh, some of the lines in chapter ten should be credited to DarkGoddess2002, because I couldn't figure out what I wanted James to say and her one-shot 'first date' made me laugh. Before I forget: I don't own Harry Potter. If I had any rights to it, I'd have given them up after reading the epilogue.
I'm really sorry if this story isn't as good as the previous two, I've just been feeling like crap and it was an issue to get out of bed, let alone type the stories I was writing in my mind! Toodles – Kate!)))
CARINA BLACK, THE THIRD YEAR
Chapter One: Carina Hears The News
July 21st 1993, Around Lunch Time
Carina was seriously wondering what the HELL was wrong with her godfather and uncles. She was used to them being weird, she'd have been surprised if they weren't, but they had now taken overprotective to a level that Carina had not previously thought was possible!
Their constant supervision easily explained why Carina had locked herself in her room, reading and refusing to speak to them, in her opinion. Merlin, but it was annoying, the way they were acting!
It hadn't started until she'd been home for almost three weeks, she was sure of that, so it wasn't a reaction to the Chamber problems of last year. At any rate, she was still upset about the chamber, but with help from her friends, especially talking about what had happened in the chamber with Ginny, she was starting to get past it. So what possible reason could they have to act like Voldemort was resurrected and after her blood?!
Honestly, they wouldn't even let her leave the house, it was driving her insane! Carina huffed, still furious that they wouldn't let her go see Hermione.
It would be one thing if they'd tell her why they were being so overprotective, but if she so much as started to ask, they changed the subject.
…maybe Voldemort really had been resurrected?
Carina immediately dismissed that thought. Voldie had made two attempts to return in as many years, and his last attempt had only been two months ago, so it seemed unlikely for it to be that.
With a groan, she placed a book mark on the page she was sure she had now read ten times, and closed it, setting it on her nightstand. Normally any book could hold her attention for as long as it took to read it, but for some reason she felt restless, and she didn't think that even Rowena Ravenclaws journals would be able to keep her occupied.
Well, maybe Ravenclaws journal would do it, but seeing as the chances of them being found anytime were lower than zero, there was nothing that could keep her occupied.
"Ugh," she mumbled, frustrated. What was wrong with her? Aside from being irritated with James and her uncles, and wishing that Hermione or Ginny could come over since she couldn't go to them, there really weren't any major problems in her life.
Okay, so she was hungry, and that explained not being able to concentrate – it wouldn't have a few years ago, but it did now – but this was unreasonable! Then again, it was the only logical explanation she could think of. Maybe James' insanity was contagious or something. Well, if for no other reason than to insure that she really wasn't getting stupid from lack of food, she would go eat lunch.
Half-way down the stairs, she heard voices. Her brows furrowed, she recognized all three of those voices, one of them was her godfather, one of them was her head of house, and the last was none other than Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts.
Tip-toeing the rest of the way down, she stopped outside the door to her godfathers study. It was kind of alarming, really, that they were talking in there, because James rarely let anyone in there unless it was a REALLY big deal. (Carina winced as she remembered the two times she'd actually been in there).
"…you can't believe they'll actually do that, though!" James was protesting.
Carina blinked in surprise. Who wouldn't actually do what?
"I know, James, but Cornelius is insisting, and they won't actually be on the castle grounds," that was Dumbledore.
"I won't have them around my goddaughter!"
Oh, that was bad, he was shouting now. Somewhere in the part of her mind that wasn't occupied with finding out what the hell was going on, she felt extremely sorry for her headmaster.
"It's for their protection," that was Flitwick.
"You can't honestly believe that, can you?" James practically screamed.
"I believe that is what Minister Fudge believes, but no, I do not think that those evil creatures would do a decent job of protecting anyone or anything," Flitwick answered.
An alarmed feeling settled over Carina. Mentally she prayed that she was just assuming, and that she wasn't right. She doubted it, though.
"Do a good enough job protecting innocent people from justice," James shot back bitterly, and there was a long silence from inside the study that even in the hall, Carina could tell was awkward. And she hadn't been mistaken. Dementors were apparently going to be protecting her, or rather all the Hogwarts students. But protecting them from what?
"Right now they are trying to bring someone guilty to justice!" Dumbledore argued, not sounding at all like he believed what he was saying.
"Well why don't we get off of our asses and hunt the rat down instead of expecting our back-ass-words ministry to do its job!" James roared.
Oh, ouch. She'd never heard him yell that loudly. That was kind of scary.
It took a second for what he'd said to click in her mind, and then lots of things, like the way James had been acting for the last week or so, suddenly made a lot more sense. Pettigrew had escaped. How in the HELL had Pettigrew escaped?!
Unable to think clearly, she shoved the door to the study open, wanting answers: like to why she hadn't been told that Pettigrew had escaped and was, in all likelihood, going to come after her.
All three men spun around to face her, and she stared at James determinedly. "How can I be expected to stay safe if I don't even know I'm in danger?" she asked him icily.
James sighed, looking so desperate that for a moment, Carina regretted her question. Only for a moment though. He could have just told her and saved them the trouble!
"You're not even thirteen, you shouldn't have to deal with – "
Carina's eyes narrowed. "All the more reason!" she countered. "I'm not even thirteen, I couldn't possibly defend myself against a fully grown wizard, could I? So how am I supposed to stay out of trouble if I don't know what to avoid!? I'll give you that I'm not an adult, but I'm not exactly a child either, James! You couldn't possibly have believed I'd never have caught on! What about when I go back to school, huh? What were you going to do, pull me out? Make the whole school promise to be quiet about Pettigrew escaping?! Hell, while you're at it, why don't you just take my wand and leave me defenseless in the forbidden forest!" she shouted furiously.
James looked pale and horrified, and Dumbledore cleared his throat quietly. "I have things I need to be doing, but James, should you want to continue our conversation, we can do so tomorrow."
Dumbledore left the study, Flitwick following after him.
James didn't move, in fact he looked as if he'd just seen his world fall apart.
But Carina wasn't budging; that information, not knowing about Pettigrew, it could have caused a whole lot of trouble. She didn't even want to think about it. Even with her firm belief that she had every right to say what she had didn't make looking at James' horrified, stunned and guilty expression any easier.
And he still hadn't said anything.
Carina rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air, leaving the study to go get the lunch she'd intended on getting in the first place.
CRBCRBCRBCRBCRBCRBCRBCRB July 21st 1993, Evening"Carina? Can I come in?"
The only thing that stopped Carina from throwing her book in the direction of the door was that she didn't want Hermione to kill her, and it was Hermione's book.
"Fine," she said defeatedly, rolling her eyes when Remus entered the room.
"About what you and J –"
"I. Do. Not. Want. To. Talk. About. It." She told him pointedly.
"Well, I do," he said mildly, and Carina mentally cursed underage magic laws, because were it not for them, she would have hexed him! She hated that voice! Didn't the man know how to get angry?!
"And I don't," she countered, trying not to lose her temper.
"Tough luck," he responded in the same tone as before. "Did you know that in the last six hours, your godfather hasn't moved from his study?" he asked. "Did you know that the only reason I know what happened is that James had asked me to come with him so he could take you to visit Hermione without feeling like you were in danger? I came to find out why he hadn't shown up. He wouldn't even talk to me, I only know what I know because of the portrait of his great-grandfather that's in there on the wall."
Carina felt a surge of guilt. "He should have told me," she said stubbornly.
"Maybe so," Remus conceded, and Carina about fell off her bed in shock.
"What?" she asked incredulously.
For a second, Carina thought Remus was smirking, but her opinion quickly changed as he continued talking.
"He probably should have told you, and I know for a fact that he intended on telling you before he took you to see Hermione," Remus told her, and she felt even worse. She probably should have talked to him before overreacting…
"But that aside, he is your guardian, and really, it's his choice if he doesn't think you should know about it yet," he continued.
"If he told me to jump off a cliff, would you think I should do it?" she asked him sarcastically.
"No, but he would never do that," Remus countered calmly. "Since you are clearly not going to listen to me from that point, let's try this: all James has wanted since you were born, and even more so since you moved in here, is for you to be happy, safe and healthy. You basically accused him of purposely working for the opposite of that. Think about how he's feeling right now."
Carina bit her lip. "It was true, though! Not knowing about him being loose left me helpless!"
"Do you honestly think James would risk your life like that?" Remus asked, finally started to sound a little angry… and exasperated.
"Not willingly," she reluctantly admitted.
"And what do you think his intent in not telling you was? To keep you happy and somewhat safe, or to put your life in danger?" Remus continued.
Miserably, and knowing that Remus knew exactly what he was doing to her with these questions, she answered, "To keep me happy and safe."
"Did you consider that maybe he was trying to figure out how to tell you that your parents' betrayer was once again on the loose? That he was trying to figure out how to tell you without being insensitive about it?" Remus asked.
Carina wordlessly shook her head.
"And did you consider that he might think you have enough to deal with, what with your adventure at the end of this year? That he was trying to protect you until he was sure that you could deal with yet another thing to worry about?" Remus pressed.
Right now, all Carina wanted was for a hole to appear so that she could hide in it. Even if the other comments hadn't made her start to consider James' side, that last one would've done it. She picked up the pillow that had been on her lap and buried her head in it. How did he do that?! Fifteen minutes ago she had been sure that she was right, and now here she felt like the lowest bit of scum in existence!
She heard Remus start to walk back towards the door, and he told her, "I am going to go try to get James to stop moping, I'd suggest you think about this for awhile before you talk to him."
Carina groaned as she heard her door shut softly. It was going to be a long night, and she was probably going to end up spending most of it feeling guilty! Wonderful…
July 22nd 1993, Two A.M.
Carina was going insane. That was all there was to it. She could not just sit here and wallow in guilt anymore, and it wasn't like sitting here was going to help her feel better! With an annoyed huff, she crawled out of bed and grabbed the smaller blanket that she generally used when it was too hot to use anything else, and wrapped it around her. This done, she made her way downstairs as quietly as she could manage. Maybe James would still be in his study…
Well, it looked like he was. The door was shut, but there was a bit of light shining from the creaks, so he was probably in there. Biting her lip, she knocked softly before she lost her nerve.
"'Rina?"
James sounded shocked, which Carina supposed she could understand. "Can I come in, James?"
The door opened, revealing her godfather who looked like he felt as bad as she did.
Quietly she entered the room and sat down on the couch that was across from the desk where James spent most of his time when he was in here. She curled up and made sure the blanket was covering her feet, letting this occupy her attention until she could figure out what she was going to say. After a long, tense silence, Carina blurted, "I'm sorry."
James looked at her in shock. "Why are you sorry?"
"Are you asking that to make me feel bad or because you really don't know?" she asked skeptically.
"Because I really don't know," he answered, looking confused.
"Merlin, no wonder Remus is the smart one," she mumbled. "How about, I'm sorry I never think before I open my mouth, I'm sorry I accused you of putting me in danger, I'm sorry I didn't give you the chance to explain, and I'm sorry I didn't consider that you might have had a reason?" she offered sadly.
James looked even more shocked.
"Were you really going to take me to see Hermione?" she asked in a small voice, feeling even worse when he nodded. "And you were going to tell me before you did?" He nodded again. "Then lets add I'm sorry I'm such a bitch to the list," she said guiltily.
James looked at her sharply, "You are not a bitch, in any meaning of the word. Merlin, Carina," he sighed. "You aren't the only one who screwed up here, and I'm not – "
"If you aren't angry and upset, you should be," she interrupted.
"Oh?" he questioned. "And why is that?"
"…for all the same reasons I've already listed," she said in annoyance. "And no, I'm not the only one who screwed up here, but I am the one who screwed up the worst."
James chuckled. "Merlin, we're a right sad pair, aren't we?"
Carina felt a smile pull at her lips. "That we are. I really am sorry I accused you of that."
James sighed. "Did you really believe I would do that to you?"
Carina bit her lip. "Not exactly."
James raised an eyebrow.
"I never believed you would do it intentionally, but…" she trailed off with a shrug.
James smiled mirthlessly.
"I really don't think you'd ever let anything hurt me," she said in a rush. "I'm reasonably sure that you'd do anything to stop me from getting hurt. I've just… I don't know, I was acting like a Gryffindor, opening my mouth without thinking," she giggled at the expression on James' face. "I mean, I've been really annoyed with how overprotective you're all being, and how you kept changing the subject when I tried to figure out why. I shouldn't have said what I did, my only excuse is that I wasn't thinking clearly."
"You? Not thinking clearly? 'Rina, are you feeling okay?" he asked in mock concern.
Carina grinned. "Ha, ha," she said dryly.
"Now that my grandson has figured out the obvious, that young Miss Black does not think he would put her in danger, and Miss Black has figured out that she was being disrespectful and obtuse, do you think you could give me some peace?" a new voice spoke up, and it took Carina a second to find the portrait of James' great-grandfather.
"Don't mind him," James advised her. "Ol' Grandpa Henry is just upset that he fights with his wife even more as a portrait than he did when they were alive."
Carina coughed, trying not to laugh.
The moment of hilarity passed, and James said, "Seriously, Carina, I want you to promise me you'll be careful this year. Please. I can't lose you, too."
Carina looked him in the eyes, "I promise I'll be careful. I don't want to die. But I do want you to promise me that you'll stay safe, too."
"I'll do my best," James promised.