"Annie?" I ask shocked. I wasn't expecting her to visit me in the justice building. We had been inseparable when we were tiny but she has refused to speak to me for years.
"I'm so sorry Finnick. I thought all you careers were evil, but I realised when you were reaped and when no one volenteeered that if there was an 18 year old you out there he would have saved you." I almost laugh at the way she words it, though I understood exactly what she means. "I've been so horrible to you, I'm so sorry, please come back."
"l'll try." I promise as I squeeze her tight before she's pulled away by the peacekeepers.
—xx—
Once I have enough air in my lungs I burst out laughing, I look across at Annie and see her laughing between breaths too. "It's just rocks." She says as she laughs at me, "I can't believe you thought rocks were a shipwreck full of treasure"
I don't know what's put me in such a good mood after such a disappointing find. But I feel fantastic. Maybe it's the sun and the sea, probably it's Annie, her laughter is contagious.
Swimming towards her I realise what I'm doing only a moment before our lips would touch, I hesitate and she leanes in and kisses me.
"Want to be my boyfriend Finnick Odair?" Asks Annie in a singsong voice that leaves me wondering if she's teasing me or asking me out. Still, I always want to be honest with Annie.
"I think so. Yea." I reply still trying to make sense of the light flighty feeling.
"I thought the famous Finnick Odair stopped dating girls a month after returning to 4." Annie says as she starts swimming back towards the shore.
"Yea." I reply shyly swimming after her, because I had defidently decided that, after my first few failed relationship attempts, with girls who just wanted my fame, after I returned. "The famous Finnick has, but with you, we could be friends first, and boyfriend girlfriend second. If you would like that."
'"I would like that." Annie says and smiles at me as we swim back together. And I'm sure that I've reached the highest heights that happiness has to offer.
—xx—
"You'll be a legal adult in a few weeks." Annie says as we are eating lunch.
I take a moment to guess at what she is trying to say by stating the obvious.
"You won't be though."
Annie nodds. "They want you in the capital to celebrate don't they?" She asks taking another bite.
"Yeah, they are a bit obsessed with big celebrations and coming of age parties."
Annie humms in agreement and adds. "I saw a tv show counting down to it."
"Bit creepy really." I reply casually.
"They want to have sex with you." Annie says bluntly. "Do you want to have sex?"
I stumble a bit, because I try to be honest with Annie, she says she prefers it. But the truth is I've been imagining sex with her for a while now, and enjoying the fantasy quite a bit too. I don't know how to tell her that, just thinking about it makes my face heat up in embarrassment.
"well... yes... with you. But I'll wait until you are ready. So there 's no hurry ok?"
"I don't think I can compete with your capital fans, if sex would help you stay with me..."
I cant listen to her put herself down like that so I cut her off "You're my girlfriend not girlfan." She laughes. "You don't have a thing to worry about. I'll come back here and keeping me all for you." We share a hug and finish our lunch.
—xx—
I'm dropping my bag in my lounge room when Annie burst through the door. She looks stunning with her messy windswept hair and red face, stunning and furious.
"I saw you on tv!" She yells.
I groan, I don't want to have this conversation, I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to think about it. I just want to collapse on the lounge and fall asleep.
"You were making out with some light blue freak, and then, they flashed through your dates of the week. The whole country is chatting about your massive sex life."
My stomach churns , my head spins, I dont have the energy for this, I collapse on the lounge. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?" Annie yells.
"I'm sorry" I can see the president in front of me telling me that I can keep my little district girlfriend so long as she doesn't effect my performance in the capitol. I can even explain our deal, he's sure she would understand. But I'm not. And I don't want to tell her anyway. It's embarrassing, and I didn't resist enough, one weak little protest about a girl back home, one threat to my loved ones and I was backpedaling, willing to do anything and everything, assuring snow that threats are unessasery. And I think I might have enjoyed some parts of it. When I look up Annie is still there mad as ever and waiting for an explanation. My head hurts and my guts churn. I just want to be alone and asleep. "I don't know what to say."
"How about the truth" You can tell her, I hear the president say again. But I just can't. So I settle on something true.
"If I'd known before I left I would have broken up with you so we could still be friends."
"You really think you could have broken up with me to fuck the capitol and still be my friend?" Annie says. Red as guts and shaking like a fish out of water. I wish she would just hit me already. I deserve it.
"You knew what they wanted before you left." She accuses. And she is right. I had known what they wanted, I just didn't know that they could take it. But they could, and they did. It's bad enough how much of my life is televised already, I want to keep this to myself, I don't want anyone else to know what a pissweak little whore I am. Especially Annie.
I Collapse on the lounge and wait for her rage to take over. Ready to accept whatever she throws at me. But after a few minutes of silence she storms back out instead. I suppose it is not safe to hit a young victor like me, not unless your a capitolite who has paid for the privilege.
—xx—
Coffee. With enough cream and sugar to disguise the awful taste. I'm considering having another cup to make me more alert for our breakfast prep chat, but I want to get some sleep after breakfast before my lunch appointment. So I put my cup down and try to focus on the conversation.
"Don't give too much weight to your training scores, they are bad predictors of games success" Mags says to the table.
"All they really do is change how the other tributes think of you. As a threat, an ally, or an easy kill." I add, because it is useful information.
"What are you even doing here? Why do you bother coming back to the training centre when you could be out with your stupid capitol girlfriends?" Clide shoots at me with a glare.
"I'm doing what I can." I reply with a sigh, I don't really care what the kids think of me anymore. Admiring Fan or resentful jerk, It doesn't make it any easier to watch them die.
"Will you even be here to watch us get our scores?"
"No" I reply without emotion.
"What will you be doing instead? Some rich girl no doubt."
"Getting you sponsors." I reply a little tersely, although technically I'm doing that at lunch and later when they televise the scores I'll be meeting Snow's requirements.
"Getting sponsors with your dick?" He replies in that joking teasing voice that only a teen could use to refer to sex.
"Does it really matter to you how I get them?" I reply which shuts clide up.
"That's not what you were doing at your party though was it?" Annie asks without looking at me. It's the first words she's said to me since we broke up.
"No. Just this games." I reply as I recall begging snow to allow me to use what skills I have to get my childhood friend out of the arena alive.
Annie nods once while biting her lip without ever looking up at me and doesn't say anything else.
—xx—
"King me!" I say with a cheeky grin as I plunk a little black rock on her side of the board.
"I'm still winning" she grins back as she jumps her white rock over two of mine taking them off the board.
And I smile deeply, I feel peace and warmth in my cheast and realise that sometime since her games we have become friends again. That peaceful normal activities like this one are becoming more and more frequent.
We never discussed it, we just became friends again, eating lunch together, going for walks and playing checkers together.
I jump one of her rocks with my new king and she shoots me a cheeky grin before jumping the last four of mine in one move. "Want to play again?" I ask.
"No I'm tired of winning, let's play poker next." She teases and I go get the cards.
—xx—
Annie walks out of her room at the same time I come out of mine, she looks as tired as I feel. The victory tour has been hard on her. It has been widly considered a complete failure. Annie was never much of a public speaker and when you add on her being reminded of her games constantly, it's no wonder it's going so badly.
We sit down at the dining table and shovel food into our mouths without talking, or tasting, or acknowledge it or each other at all.
An avox approaches and hands each of us an unmarked envelope. I've gotten lots of these, I know what it is, but this is Annie's first. I can't take my eyes off her envelope. I've stopped breathing.
I'm thrown into a recent memory, I'm on my knees in snows office begging him not to make her do this, offering myself in her place.
I hear his voice echo through my head so clearly that I fear for a moment that I must be projecting it for those around me now to hear. "I was not expecting you to do any more than get sponsership for your little Annie with our last deal. Oh don't worry you are not in trouble for that, you did get my permission after all. But I think your abilities to manipulate the games have gone to your head. You have forgotten your place."
"If I wanted you to do her appointments you would already be doing them. I can take anything you think you have to offer, you have nothing that I don't already own."
"Who owns the fish in the ocean?" He asks
"You do sir" I reply.
"Who owns the mountains?"
"You do sir."
"Who owns you?" His voice echoes off his office walls, off the inside of my skull and it feels like it echoes through the dinning room.
"You do sir" I reply and brace myself a little as I expect some embarrassing sex act or physical blows to drive his point home. But his next blow is much worse than any I imagined.
"Who owns Annie?"
"You do sir."
I see Annie with her open envelope, staring with confusion at her letter, through the tears that have sprung to my eyes just as they did as I was kneeling in snows office.
Annie is repeating my name. When she notices that I am somewhat aware of this she says "Finnick, I don't understand. What is this?"
My breath is shaky, my eyes are watery, tears are threatening to fall, my mouth opens and closes but there are no words in my head to explain it to Annie. I'm too scared for her, floating through the worst of my experiences and feeling that she will be experiencing them herself tonight. I can't do this.
I grab my envelope and run to my room as the tears do fall, my voice manages to call out "Mags. Help. Annie." And I hope she can explain it all to her as I sit shaking wrapped in my blankets in my room.
—xx—
Mags, Annie and I are sitting on Mags's porch snacking on juicy strawberries when Annie brings it up out of nowhere.
"You got an envelope every day we were in the capitol." She says. I just nod. It's easier to talk about far away like this. Easier meaning I haven't run away yet, not meaning I can say it directly.
"Snow said that you're not that popular, that he probably won't need you much once there is a new victor."
Annie nods, like she expected as much. And we sit in silence for a little, the pleasant mood that was present earlier completely gone.
"You never had a choice did you." She asks. I shake my head. And I fear that she is going to ask me why I didn't tell her. I fear that because I don't know how to answer. It was so many things, none of which seem convincing now. all wrapped up and tangled together.
But she doesn't ask. Me, Annie and Mags sit together in a sad silence for a long time. Eating strawberries that no longer have much taste.
—xx—
I spot Annie standing near the edge of the water letting the gentle waves wash over her feet on my way back from my morning swim. I guess that she has come to meet me and I decide to surprise her.
I swim the last hundred feet underwater until it gets so shallow my chest is almost touching the bottom. Then I fill my mouth with water jump up and spray her like a fountain.
She pushes me back into the water laughing with me as she does so.
"You came out to see me?" I ask after we have both calmed down.
"Well I was going to ask you something. But I don't know..." she trailed of teasingly.
"Come on, ask me, ask me." I tease right back.
"Well, I was wondering ..." she starts going a little red. "If you would like a district 4 girlfriend" she finishes really quietly and quickly.
"Well," I started slowly "that sounds nice, but you have to understand that I am very pretty and desirable. I could have any girl in Panem, so I'm very picky. This girl would have to be the sexiest girl in Panem, gourgous, hair and curves, with a good sense of humour too, and kind, and caring, and great fun to hang out with and I think, she would have to be named Annie Cresta."
Annie pushes me into the ocean again with a great big smile on her face. "Prat"
"Is that a yes?" I ask.
"Yes it is you prat." She answers. And we continue splashing each other and uncontrollably grinning at each other until Annie's as wet as I am.