My Struggle
What's the point of life? Are we here for a purpose? Is there a reason we get one life to live? Are we all meant to do something spectacular that no one else can do? Are we supposed to be good? Or do we listen to the callings of evil? I'm so confused...
Who am I? What am I? Do I live my life fully? What have I done? What do I need to do? Am I alive? Am I dead? What am I supposed to be doing? I'm so lost...
I see trees around me. Am I in a forest? Why do I have paws? What happened to my hands? Where am I? What's going on? How did I get here?
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
No answers...
"Can anyone here me?"
What's happening? Why am I here?
I hear some shuffling coming from a bush on my left. I motion back, stumbling over my own legs. Walking on fours is a lot harder than what it appears to be.
"Who's there?"
The bush is moving ferociously. I see vines breaking out from the bush, trying to grab me.
Is that Vine Whip?
"What's going on?"
I ran away as fast as I could, trying my best not to stumble over and get captured. Fortunately, for me, there isa river nearby. The water is calm, making it easy to swim in. I get in, unfortunately hurting myself as the water barricaded itself against my body.
"It's so cold!"
The water was freezing against my body. I struggled getting out, managing to do so just before I went over a large waterfall. I shook myself dry, still feeling the water dripping off my body. I stepped closer towards the river, revealing my reflection.
"What's that?"
In my reflection, I was not there. Instead, there was a little creature shaped like a fireball.
"Who am I? What am I?"
I heard some shuffling of bushes behind me. Turning around, I saw the shadow of a person towering over me. He had a ball in his hand, throwing it over to me, hitting me on my head.
"What was that for?"
I soon became encased in a red aura, transporting to the ball that just hit my head. Inside the ball, I struggled to break free, having almost no luck coming my way.
"I have to get out!"
The ball made a clicking sound, thus ceasing my movements. I felt the ball leave the ground, rushing through the air very fast.
"Alright, " I heard a voice shout, "I got it!"
"Got what?"
I heard yet another clicking sound, this one not as loud as the first one. I felt the ball move about, shuffling up and down, left and right. I overheard the person from before talking the entire way through.
"Now, we shall begin."
"Begin what?"
The ball moved about a little while more. The movement eventually got soothing, putting me to sleep soundly.
"Come on," a voice spoke, "let's go!"
I somehow transported to an open field. I was myself once more; I had hands, legs. My cast was on my left forearm; I was me. In front of me was another person and something else. The person looked an awfully familiar, almost similar to me. The creature was a moderately blue creature, having a mask and some yellow fur on its chest. I had only seen something like this one other time before.
"Come on, Lucario!" The voice said.
"Lucario?"
The person and this "Lucario" creature the left. I had closely followed behind them. They appeared to not notice me as I was following them.
Just then, I saw another person in the far off distance. The person with the Lucario creature neared the new person.
"Go Gengar!" The first voice said.
I felt the ball move, almost like it was tossed into the air. The ball opened up and I appeared on a battlefield. I looked around me to notice that I was in a packed stadium. Across from me stood a very attractive girl. She threw a ball of her own into the air and in front of me appeared a creature that resembled the Lucario creature from before, only this creature was smaller and didn't have yellow fur anywhere on its body.
"Riolu, Circle Throw!" The girl shouted.
This Riolu creature then ran straight towards me and grabbed me, shoving me into the air and pummeling me into the ground.
"That didn't feel good."
"Get up!" I heard a voice say to me. It sounded similar to the voice I heard last night.
I got up, finding some power and strength to get myself over the pain I was just delivered.
"Use Flamethrower!" The voice told me.
"Flamethrower?"
Suddenly, as if instincts kicked in, a large sea of fire erupted from inside of me, forcing me to eject it from my innards. Fire had come out from inside me as it made its way towards the target - Riolu. As the flames closed in on Riolu's location, I saw it jump into the air.
"Force Palm, Riolu!" The girl shouted.
Riolu got itself prepared for an attack, striking me in the top of my head. My head was spinning so fast from the hit, I couldn't tell where I was anymore.
"Snap out of it and use Iron Tail!"
"Iron Tail?"
Suddenly, my tail had become a silver color. It felt like it weighed a ton now, but I managed to overcome the weight and strike Riolu. Riolu appeared to have a hard time standing back up.
"Come on, Riolu!" The girl shouted. "I know you can do it!"
Riolu appeared to take in those words as some sort of motivation to stand back up.
"Flamethrower!" The voices told me.
"Again?"
Once again, fire had been released from my innards, this time striking down Riolu. I heard Riolu's screams of pain and heartache as the flames pelted it. Once the flames stopped, Riolu had collapsed on the ground.
I heard the stadium roar with excitement as Riolu collapsed.
"Riolu is unable to battle!" A loud voice exclaimed. "The winner of this battle is-"
The name of the voices was drained out from my hearing because it was so loud in the stadium. I looked around, trying to locate the loud voices. Unfortunately, besides the girl and the Riolu along with the voices from last night, nobody else was near us. The red aura from last night struck my body as I became transported back to the ball from last night.
"Good job out there." The voices told me. "I definitely made the right choice catching you."
Someone else started to talk. It sounded like the girl from earlier, but I wasn't too sure.
"You sure have a strong partner there with you."
"Thanks," the first voice replied, "you have an awesome Riolu there as well. It was a great battle."
"Thank you." The girl replied.
The ball started moving around again, shuffling and rumbling upon each step taken. The rumbling and shuffling of the ball was soothing, putting me back to sleep once more.
I saw yet the same person from before, along with the other person with the Lucario.
"Go Gengar!" The voices spoke, throwing a ball into the air.
In front of me stood a tall, ominous looking purple creature. The voices approached the figure in front of both of us.
"I want you to go use Curse on that person over there."
He pointed over towards the person from earlier. This "Gengar" creature seemed to obey the command given to it and departed quickly. I followed it as we neared the other person. As we got closer, I noticed this person was of elderly persuasion.
Gengar swooped down in front of the elderly man and used Curse, giving the old man a frightening of a lifetime; he appeared to almost have a heart attack. Gengar soon disappeared and the old man was left helpless. I tried going over to help the old man, but found myself unable to get closer to him. Instead, I was brought back to the first person.
"Go Gengar!" They said again, throwing the same ball into the air again.
"Come out!" A voice told me.
"What?"
I was brought out of the ball, finding myself surrounded by five unique looking creatures and the boy whom the voice belonged to.
"Everyone," he started, "I'd like you to meet our new family member."
"Family member? Me?"
The five creatures warmly welcomed me into their so-called family as I sat there, dazed and confused.
"Let me start by introducing you to them." The boy told me.
"Why don't you start introducing me to myself first?"
"You're an excited little fella, aren't you?" The boy replied.
"Excited? Do you not understand me?"
"First, we have Kecleon." The boy started. "Say hello, Kecleon."
The creature called Kecleon started telling me hello. The boy smiled, then paid his attention towards a black, white, and red bird.
"Next, we have Staraptor."
This so-called "Staraptor" cried out its name. I guess that's its way of saying hello.
"Third, we have Swampert."
A large blue creature stepped up, grabbing me and hugging me...I think. It then set me down before returning to his original spot. The boy laughed, then proceeded with the introductions.
"Next up is Bulbasaur."
A creature stepped forward. This creature was green and just about as big as I was, possibly a little smaller. They had a bulb on their back and drew out one of its vines, offering me a hand shake I think. I shook my paw with his vine before he pulled it back into his body.
"Last, but not least, we have Absol."
The creature, who had eloquent white fur, refused to look at me.
"What's his problem?"
The Absol glanced at me coldly before carrying on with his thoughts. The boy gazed around before calling everyone I had just met back to their respective ball. For some reason, he left me out of mine.
"Why am I still here?"
The boy glanced back at me, smiling.
"You're my favorite one." He told me.
"He can understand me?"
"I'm very lucky to have found you in the middle of a forest." He continued. "Not too often you see one of you way out here."
"So much for the understanding part."
"You're an energetic little guy, aren't ya?" The boy asked, smiling at me.
"I'm not so sure about that."
He patted me and petted me on my head, which oddly felt really good.
"That feels real good."
The boy chuckled, "You like that, don't you?"
"Very much so."
The boy stopped after a while and we both gazed up into the sky. It was just after sunset, so we could see the many stars and signs showing themselves, as well as the bright full moon.
The moon was hypnotic as I gazed and stared at it for a while. It had me thinking, "Is this what I'm meant to be? Am I to live like this?"
I couldn't think about it any longer as started to nod off. I curled up into a ball and started to sleep once more.
"Go Gengar!" The voices shouted, throwing a ball up into the air.
In front of me, the tall, shadowy purple creature called Gengar appeared. Once again, the voices approached the creature that was in front of both of us.
"I want you to use Curse on that person over there."
He pointed over towards a new person, whom was very far off into the distance,. Gengar seemed to obey the command given to it and departed quickly. I followed it as we neared the other person. As we got closer, I noticed this person was of elderly persuasion, just like the old man from before.
Gengar swooped down in front of the elderly man and used Curse, giving the old man a frightening of a lifetime; he appeared to almost have a heart attack. Gengar soon disappeared and the old man was left helpless. I tried going over to help the old man again, but found myself unable to get closer to him, just like before. Instead, I was brought back to the first person once more.
"Go Gengar!" They said again, throwing the same ball into the air again.
"Why am I seeing this same scene over and over again?"
Once more, Gengar appeared from the ball in front of both of us. The unknown person approached the Gengar.
"I want you to use Curse on that person over there."
He pointed over to the same person from before.
"Why am I seeing this again?"
I woke up in my ball, wondering how I got back in it; or even, when. All I know is that I'm back inside my ball. I mean, don't get me wrong, it is comfy and all that, but I'd prefer to view the world through my eyes, rather than listening to it with my now-sensitive ears.
"Where are we going?"
I felt the ball move around, suddenly opening up. I was transported from the ball to the ground. I had to blink my eyes a few times as I had a hard time adjusting to the brightness of the outside world. Inside my ball, it's dark; pitch black, if you will.
"Flamethrower!" The boy told me.
"Am I in a battle?"
Flames shot out from inside of me towards a target I have yet to make out in my vision. What I did see was a shadowy figure jump up into the air just in front of the flames.
The shadowy figure landed back on the ground so delicately, shooting over a ball of dark matter over towards me. Based on the cry this creature made, I could tell they were female.
"Dodge, and use Iron Tail!" The boy told me.
"What am I using Iron Tail on?"
My tail then became metallic and I swung it around, hitting nothing but the air surrounding me.
"What am I trying to hit?"
I felt a hard thing of dark matter strike me in my face, causing me to finally get my eyes to adjust to the light. In front of me was a black and gold creature with red eyes.
"Use Swift attack!" The boy told me.
"Swift?"
Suddenly, stars started shooting out from my mouth. I was befuddled as to how they came about but they did, hitting the target hard. I saw the shadowy figure collapse on the ground and heard the boy say something else.
"Pokéball, go!"
He threw the ball at the collapsed figure and hit it. The figure became shrouded with a red aura, which transported back to the ball. The ball hit the ground and started shaking around; rolling back and forth.
"Come on..." The boy started saying.
"Anxious, are we?"
I turned my head and saw the boy holding his concentration on the ball as it continued rolling about. After a while, a sound reminiscent of a clicking sound was made. The boy jumped up and down, obviously happy about the creature he just captured.
He ran towards the ball and picked it up. He showed me it.
"Say hello to our new friend!" He told me.
"Hi there!"
He threw the ball into the air, revealing the creature from inside it in front of me.
"Hi, Umbreon!" The boy said.
"Hi there!"
Umbreon stared at me, oddly fluttering her eyes affectionately. The boy noticed this quickly and whispered something into my ear.
"Looks like she likes you."
He pulled his head away, smiling at the both of us.
"Come on now, you two lovebirds."
He called us both back to our balls and began traveling to another destination. The rumbling of the ball had me in a daze, which put me to sleep once again.
"Go Gengar!" The familiar voices shouted.
The Gengar then appeared in front of both of us again. The person from before approached the Gengar once more.
"I want you to use Curse on that person over there!"
The person who Gengar belonged to then pointed towards the elderly person from earlier.
This time, instead of following the Gengar, I stood back and stared at the person.
It was odd looking at this person. For an odd reason, he looked just like I did, I mean, just like I used to look like.
"Is that...me?"
I heard the elderly man scream out of fear, then saw the Gengar slip in between us both. This lookalike started laughing after seeing how the old man reacted. He told something to the Gengar after completing his laughter.
"Good work, Gengar!" He said.
"Odd...he sounds like me..."
The two figures faded after a while, then reappeared in front of me.
"Go Gengar!" The lookalike said.
"Again? But...but, why?"
I was woken up by the sudden movement of the ball I was in. It opened up and I was teleported onto a battlefield. It was in the same stadium when I fought that Riolu character earlier and it was about as packed as it was then, probably even more packed. Ahead of me was a young kid, probably 12 years of age.
"Here we go!" The kid shouted, throwing a ball of his own into the air.
I was stunned as to what came out of that ball. A large, tree looking creature appeared in front of me. They had leaves as wings and it looked like it had three bananas attached to its chin.
"I know you can win this," the boy I knew told me, "use Flamethrower!"
"Easy for you to say..."
Flames shot out from my innards and directly smashed into the giant green creature. When the flames stopped, the creature cried out in pain. Oddly enough, it was unable to endure the pain and collapsed on the ground.
"Tropius is unable to battle," an announcer stated, "the winner of the battle is Mark!"
"So his name is Mark..."
Mark ran over to me and hugged me, whispering something into my sensitive ears.
"I had no idea you were so strong!" He told me. "I'm glad I have you as my sweeper on my team!"
He transported me back into my ball afterwards as he began leaving the stadium, at least that's how it felt like since the sounds were fading away the longer we moved.
"Was it really that easy? Am I really that powerful? Or did I get a lucky break?"
The motioning of the ball put me right back to sleep after a while.
I was expecting to see the lookalike from before; the guy with the Gengar. However, I saw another creature.
This creature was tall and thin, having a silver body with sea green details. Suddenly, they began talking to me.
"You don't get it, do you?" They said. Based on the voice, I could tell that they were female.
"What do you mean?"
"You haven't figured out yet why you look the way you do now, haven't you?"
"I-I don't comprehend."
"You've seen the reason numerous times. Need I spell it out for you?" Based off the way she was speaking, I could tell she was growing impatient with me.
"I don't...I'm not sure what you want from me!"
"I'll show you once more." She told me.
Just then, she faded away and the lookalike who had the Gengar appeared in front of me.
"Go Gengar!"
The Gengar appeared in front of both of us, with the lookalike approaching the Gengar.
"I want you to use Curse on that person over there."
The lookalike pointed at the elderly man from before and the Gengar departed towards the elderly man. I quickly followed it and saw the Gengar swoop down and startle the old man, just like before.
After that, the old man, the lookalike, and the Gengar all faded away and the tall, thin, female creature from before had reappeared.
"Now do you get it?" She asked. "Do you know why you are what you are this very moment?"
"I don't get why that scene keeps replaying in my dreams. Do you have anything to do with it?"
The creature let out an annoyed sigh.
"You are what you are to learn a lesson!" She told me.
"What do you mean?"
"That lookalike in the dream WAS you! I transformed you into that to teach you a lesson."
"That was...me?"
"Yes it was!" The creature replied.
"Who are you?"
"I am Gardevoir, master of Psychic powers." She spoke. "I transformed you into your current form to teach you a lesson of scaring other people!"
"How long will I be like this?"
"Forever!" Gardevoir replied.
'Forever? Is it really worth it to stay what I am now forever?'
"Yes, it really is worth it."
"How'd you know what I was thinking?"
"Telekinesis." Gardevoir answered.
"I'm stuck like this...forever?"
"You'll soon find out that life as a Pokémon is a lot more fun," Gardevoir told me, "especially when you travel with a trainer who cares and loves you. Mark is one special trainer, that's why I led him to you. He loves you because you are his favorite Pokémon and you are strong; you are his sweeper."
"Sweeper?"
"Yes, just like Gengar was your sweeper, you are his sweeper."
"So I'm the strongest one he has..."
"Now you're getting it," Gardevoir answered back.
I looked away from Gardevoir, taking in all that was said. Am I doomed to live like this for the rest of my life? Will I be happier as a Pokémon?
"The life of a Pokémon is fun, especially when you travel with someone who cares for you, loves, and protects you." Gardevoir told me.
"...really?"
"Yes, really."
After that, Gardevoir had faded away and I woke up in a start.
"Go, use Flamethrower!"
I felt my ball open up and as it did, flames shot out from inside of me at a target that looked like a butterfly. The butterfly dodged and began a counterattack.
"Butterfree, dodge and use Sleep Powder!"
This "Butterfree" spread out some powder from its wings and it began raining down on top of me. It was soothing and relaxing, putting me to sleep in an instant.
"Get up!" I heard Mark shout, his voice echoing in my sleep.
"You need to get up!" I heard another voice say to me. It sounded like Gardevoir. "Do it for him. Do it because he loves you."
For some reason, those words struck my heart and woke me up in an instant. I looked around hectically and found the butterfly floating above me.
"Flamethrower, again!" Mark told me.
"Will do!"
I shot some more flames from my innards and hit the butterfly - the "Butterfree," I mean. Butterfree was overwhelmed with the burning hot flames and collapsed on the ground. I felt sorry for it because I left some pretty heavy burn marks on its body.
"Butterfree is unable to battle!" An announcer shouted.
The stadium roared with excitement as Butterfree was being transported back to its ball. The trainer in front of Mark and I had a smirk on her face. She threw another ball into the air, not saying a single word. When the ball opened up, in front of me was a creature about the same height as myself. They had red fur with a tan coating attached to the fur, forming a fireball at the top of the fur attached to the head. They had the same paws I had and same colored eyes.
"Whoa!" The announcer roared. "Would you look at that!"
"Look at what?"
I looked back at Mark and he had his jaw dropped, though I didn't know why.
"What's going on?"
"It appears that the final battle will be between Michelle's Flareon and Mark's Flareon!" The announcer shouted.
The crowd went wild, though I couldn't explain why.
"Flareon?"
Mark shook his head, snapping him out of the trance he was in.
"Flareon, use Swift!" He told me.
"You too, Flareon!" This "Michelle" character added.
Stars shot out from my innards, as did the Flareon in front of me. Both attacks smashed into both of us and I could feel the pain of those small, yellow stars.
"Use Iron Tail!" Mark told me.
"Use Fire Blast, Flareon!" Michelle told her Flareon.
My tail became metallic as the Flareon shot out a fire ball that was in the shape of a star. It hasn't hurt my body, but it did burn my metallic tail, and I felt that.
"Come on, Flareon!" Mark shouted. "I know you can do it! Use Hyper Beam!"
"You use Hyper Beam too, Flareon!" Michelle commanded her Flareon.
"Hyper Beam?"
A powerful sounding beam them shot out from my innards over towards Flareon. The same was happening for the other Flareon. Both of our beams collided in the middle and were in the middle of a stalemate.
"Who's Hyper Beam will give first!?" The announcer shouted, revealing hints of excitement in his voice.
"Come on, Flareon!" Mark shouted. "Full power!"
"You too, Flareon!" Michelle told her Flareon.
The beam became stronger than ever as it was being shot from my innards over towards Flareon. The beams that collided in the middle were now shifting over towards the other Flareon as mine was overpowering their beam.
Eventually, it had reached the other Flareon and smashed into it, head on, creating a huge, thick cloud of smoke, which blasted me backwards. I couldn't tell if the other Flareon had collapsed, so I stood my ground, raising my guard extremely.
"Who's still standing!?" The announcer boomed over the loudspeaker.
It took some time for the cloud of smoke to dissipate but once it did, it was revealed that I was still standing and the other Flareon had collapsed on the ground.
"And there you have it!" The announcer roared. "The winners of this year's Pokémon League is Mark and his team, courtesy of his powerful Flareon!"
Mark ran over towards me and hugged me tightly.
"We won!" He shouted. "We won! We won! We won!"
Michelle called her Flareon back to its ball and approached Mark and I. She congratulated Mark on a terrific battle, then bent down and spoke to me.
"You sure are one powerful Flareon." She told me. "And you have a trainer that really loves you."
"I do..."
You know, being a Pokémon isn't actually bad. Sure you aren't able to speak normally, but you have trainers that love you for what you are, no matter how you are. I can get used to this.
I can get used to being a Flareon.