A/N: I don't own Homestuck blah blah blah. Disclaimers are boring. Instead, why don't you read the story? I mean, seriously, who reads these things? Well. I do.

LIFESTUCK

A boy stands in his room on his 15th birthday. While he has been on this Earth for 15 years, it is only today that he will find a purpose!

ENTER NAME

He already has one, numbnuts!

GUESS NAME

Your name is RYAN JENKINS. Today is January 31, 2012, as stated previously it is your 15th birthday. Your interests include IMMATURITY and VIDEO GAMES. Your room is a mess, and the floor is barely visible under the piles of crap! You really wish you had something that could clean it in a second. Scattered around the room are various games you own as well as a multitude of handhelds. Your laptop sits on your bed, charging for future use. You are excited about a new game that you have been expecting to receive any day, and believe today might be your lucky day! It is, after all, you're birthday. Your chumHandle is universalAnniversal and you speak tend to express yourself through your typing! :D

GET ARMS

You are NOT about to follow through with this meme again. Besides, you already have them.

CAPTCHALOGUE LAPTOP

You take you laptop and put it in your RPG MODUS sylladex that you received 2 years ago on your 13th birthday. To access the item enclosed in the card, you must first complete a real-world sidequest! To get your laptop back, it seems you need to find 2 SBURB DISCS. You really hope you get that game today.

RUMMAGE THROUGH CRAP

You waste a good ten minutes rummaging through the piles on the floor before realizing you have no idea what you're looking for.

Suddenly you hear scratching at your door! You open it to let in your cat, Ryan! While you share the same name, you are a boy while your cat is a girl. To prevent confusion you call her Rye or just Cat.

PET CAT

Ryan revolts from your touch and runs off! Well, that was expected. She always runs off when you attempt to pet her. It seems someone is trying to pester you. Too bad the laptop is stuck in its QUEST LOG. You still need 2 SBURB DISCS to get to it!

FIND DISCS

You can't find the discs, as you haven't received them yet! You decide to just use the computer in the Den, which is just down the hall.

PESTER CHUM

You log on to pesterchum on the clunky PC in the Den. You seriously hate this piece of shit.

suspiciousEnthusiast began pestering universalAnniversal at 8:32 AM

SE: hey!

UA: Hello there! :D

SE: howws the birthday coming?

UA: Well, it hasn't started yet. My silly father is still preparing the gifts for me downstairs. :/ On top of that, my laptop is trapped until I get my SBurb discs from him.

SE: wwoww, I really hope you get those discs!

UA: Yeah. But I have a feeling I'm about to get them. ;)

SE: wwell I hope you do! I actually am not gonna be on long, I gotta go shoppin wwith my friends. see yah!

UA: Awww…D: See ya later! :)

suspiciousEnthusiast ceased pestering universalAnniversal at 8:40 AM

You always enjoy conversations with SE. Its always so fun! :D

EXAMINE CHUMROLL

There isn't much to examine. There's tiger, mozillatheFox, furryDreamer, and 2 other people you haven't talked to in a while. You close pesterchum and prepare to do other things.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed! This is my SECOND fanfic. For the one or two of you who read the first chapter of KHIRL, I haven't actually...y'know...PLAYED it. And since most of my knowledge from KH came from Youtube, and I can't actually GET there anymore. You get the idea. Well, enjoy my new story: LIFESTUCK! And remember to review it!