Author's Note: HAPPY SOON-TO-BE BIRTHDAY, SAPPHY!! ((newsies bombard her with presents and hugs and kisses)) This is my pathetic excuse for a birthday fic, inspired by Sapphy's wonderful fear of fish. ((pushes nonexistent spectacles further down nose)) You must CONFRONT that fear, Sapphy. Sure, they're slimy and wriggly and a snapper'll bite you if you stick your finger down its throat, but other than that they're not that bad... ;-)

Disclaimer: I own Paolina (I love creating obnoxious sisters for the newsies) and Race's mom and dad. And the boats. The newsies belong to Disney, any song lyrics belong to their respective bands/artists, and Sapphy belongs to herself.

.o.

Of Fish Guts And Bay Water

.o.

Racetrack Higgins loved messing about with boats. He loved to fly across the water until his skin smarted and his eyes teared and his ears roared, and he loved to drift aimlessly with his eyes closed and one bare foot resting on the steering wheel. Quite often he would come home in the evening up to his elbows in a mixture of blood, seawater, and fish scales — and quite often he wouldn't come home at all.

His family never missed him. Indeed, they were almost sorry when he returned because of the strong smell of fish that seemed to emanate from his entire body. It bothered his mother so much that at one point she pounced on him, stripped off all his clothes, and pushed him into the shower, where she proceeded to give him a scrubbing he'd never forget — only to find that although her song now smelled pleasantly like a truckload of Herbal Essences products, everything he'd ever touched still had the distinct odor of fish guts.

And the next day, so did Race.

His twin sister Paolina liked to pretend that she was no relation whatsoever to the odd, smelly teenage boy who spent 80 of his summers in an odd, smelly boat. At school she maintained that she had never seen him before in her life, and to her friends she claimed that he was adopted. The fact that the pair of them looked like male and female counterparts of the same person did not help her case, but she pretended not to notice.

One night Paolina invited her newest acquisition to dinner. Her name was Sapphy, she was small and grinning and adorable, and the entire family loved her at once. When Race came home, he was rather startled to see a random girl speaking charmingly to his parents, but he assumed that Paolina was just slowly taking over the high school and he let it go. "Ah, Anthony, just in time for dinner," said Mrs. Higgins, looking up. "This is Sapphy, Paolina's study partner."

"Nice to meet you," said Race politely, holding out a hand, but Paolina slapped it away.

"Don't be disgusting," she snapped.

He looked down at his hand and realized that it was the one he had stuck down a bluefish's throat that morning to remove a far-gone hook. Nasty. "Sorry," he said.

Paolina rolled her eyes. "Sorry, Sapph, Tony's a little touched in the head. He spends all his time in that boat of his, and he kind of loses touch with what it's like to be clean and NORMAL." She glared at her brother.

Sapphy smiled at Race. "Nah, it's all good. I kinda miss the smell of fish guts; boats are awesome, but I haven't been on one for about a millennium." She shook Race's hand. He could have sworn he saw his sister cringe slightly as their hands made a loud squelching noise upon contact, and then she forced both of them to go wash up.

And so, despite Paolina's pinching and wailing and multiple threats to disown Race and lock Sapphy in the closet, the pair of them made plans over dinner to go fishing on Thursday, two days from now. Shweet.

Racetrack occupied himself during that short period of time by fishing like there was no tomorrow, attempting to make his boat fit for human occupation, and wondering if Sapphy was the kind of girl who was afraid of blood. She didn't strike him as the squeamish type... but then again, you never know.

Ahhhhh...

The one downside of boating, he decided, was that the peace and quiet allowed too much time for thought. And the fact that the propellers of motorboats could seriously damage manatees. He had read that in Ranger Rick one summer afternoon, and since then he had been very careful about checking for manatees in the water ahead of his boat. He was quite proud to say he had not hit one yet.

Needless to say, it had never occurred to him that manatees would be highly unlikely in the rough, icy waters of the Great South Bay. There was a reason Mr. Higgins called his son "a little dim... but in a lovable way."

By the time Thursday rolled by, Race was as brown and smelly and good-natured as ever. He got up at 7:00, long before anyone else in the family would awaken, and grabbed a banana to eat on the way to the dock. No time for a real breakfast; the sea was calling to him!

Sapphy was already there, swinging her legs off the edge of the dock and humming a song he recognized but could not place. She grinned when she saw him approaching, and he waved back with his banana. "Want a bite?" he asked her when he had reached her.

"Nah, thanks, I just brushed my teeth," she answered, smiling and displaying quite a nice set of teeth. She looked out over the water, arms crossed over her chest. "Kinda misty, eh? That gonna hold us back at all?"

"Never held me back, and I'm still in one piece," said Race, smiling rather more devilishly than he originally meant to.

"Good." Sapphy grinned. "So you wanna get goin'? I haven't been on a boat in years, and just standin' here lookin' at the water is killin' me."

I love this girl... Race's grin broadened, and he lead Sapphy along the dock to his motorboat — Lord of the Fish. "Don't ask," he said by way of explanation. "Spot and Blink made it up... We'll probably see 'em today, and you'll understand why the hell my boat's got such a screwy name."

Sapphy laughed, her bright eyes traveling admiringly over the filthy, disgusting boat. "Let's go," she said after a minute, and they did.

The water was rough and a dull, iron gray, promising bad weather later on. Spot coasted along in neutral through the no-wake zone, and then picked up speed and headed along the shore towards the spidery bridge that separated the two sections of the bay. You had to get into the fishing zone quickly, or else it would be too crowded to really catch anything. And that would majorly suck.

"Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing—absolutely nothing—half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats. Simply messing, messing—about—in—boats; messing about in boats—or with boats. In or out of 'em, it doesn't matter—"

"What the hell are you quoting at me?" Racetrack laughed.

"The Wind in the Willows," said Sapphy. "You remind me of the Water Rat."

"Oh, thanks."

"Hey, he's the best character! Besides Toad, of course."

Race was starting to think that he was not going to be able to stop smiling all day. "You wanna drive?" he asked her after a minute.

Sapphy grinned. "Nah, I'll just hit the sandbar or somethin'," she said, but it was clear that she really wanted to drive anyway.

"No ya won't, c'mere." He took hold of her arm and dragged her over behind the steering wheel. "Just stay to the left and head for the bridge up ahead—here, I'll slow it down for you."

She laughed but allowed him to slow the boat down for her, and soon they were moving at a steady pace through the water. Every so often Sapphy would aim the boat for shore and turn her back to the steering wheel as if she were about to engage him conversation, which would cause him to let out a yell and swerve away from the rocks just in time. At which point she would laugh and punch him in the shoulder and reassure him that she would never let the boat crash.

And then she would do it again.

"Whoa, hullo," she said after a moment, slowing the boat down to float about ten feet away from another much larger motorboat that had appeared suddenly through the mist. "What's this?"

"The Black Spot," said Race.

"Treasure Island!"

"You read a lot, don't you?"

"Says the guy who named his boat after 'Lord of the Flies'."

"Shut up." He leaned over the edge of the boat, cupped his hands around his mouth, and called, "Mornin', fellers!"

A boy kneeling on the deck looked up from the fishing rod he was baiting. He was tall, blond, and shirtless, with a handsome, brown face and a patch over his left eye. "Heya, Race!" he said, grinning. "HEY COWBOY! SHORT ITALIAN JACKASS ON THE STARBOARD SIDE!"

"SHUT UP, BLINK, I'M BUSY!" came the irritated response from below deck.

"Is Dave seasick again?" asked Race.

Blink nodded, rolling his eye. "Dunno why we even bring 'im along. Anyway Jack's down there helpin' 'im." He set the fishing rod down and spotted Sapphy for the first time. "Hey, who's your lady friend?"

"I'm Sapphy, nice to meet you," said Sapphy with a grin.

"The pleasure's all mine."

"You flirt much more than you should, did you know that? She ain't comin' onto your boat, if that's what you're thinkin'; Paolina'd kill me." Race shaded his eyes with his hand. "Where's Spot and Mush?"

"Mush is downstairs with David... He's too sweet for his own good."

"And Spot?"

"Down back, fixing the motor."

"It's broken?"

"No, but he thinks it is," said Blink smoothly, spitting over the side of the boat and standing up. Race and Sapphy watched with interest as he tiptoed to the cockpit, turned the key in the ignition, and shot the boat forward as fast as it would go for about ten feet.

Spot, who had been leaning over in the back of the boat, went flying headfirst into the water and made quite a splash. He resurfaced, spitting a stream of water into the air, and proceeded to curse fluently for about five minutes without repeating himself.

Blink stared, mouth slightly open, hand still on the keys. Then he began to laugh, and, reaching into the pocket of his jeans, flipped a quarter into the water. "You, my dear, have talent. Have you ever considered a career in show business?"

"No," said Spot, deftly catching the coin. He bit it, shrugged, and somehow managed to force it into the pocket of his underwater parts. "Now come and pick me up, 'cause I ain't swimmin' all the way over there."

Race grinned at Sapphy, who was looking rather alarmed. "Don't be afraid, they're usually actually quite nice young men," he said, and he let out a very loud cough. "Spot just isn't a exactly a morning person, are you, Spot?"

"Shut up, Race," said Spot flatly as he hoisted himself back up into the boat. "Blink, you're such an asshole. I was looking so damn hot this morning!" he declared, and he leapt forward, wrapped his arms around Blink, and planted a huge, cold, bay water kiss on the other boy's cheek.

"AHH, YOU'RE WET, GET OFF ME YOU HOMOSEXUAL BROOKLYNITE!" Blink yelled. He staggered back, laughing despite himself, and accidentally leaned against the throttle, causing the boat to shoot forward another ten feet.

"BLINK, IF YA DON'T STOP MOVIN' THE BOAT AROUND SO MUCH, DAVE IS GONNA—aw crap. Mush, could you get the mop?"

"And neither is Jack," said Race, and Sapphy laughed.

A few seconds later, a dark haired boy came running up the stairs as fast as he could. He sped around to the closet, took out the mop, and, taking a stance, hurled it below deck like a lance. There was a thud and a squelch, and Jack bellowed, "DAMMIT, MUSH, WHAT'RE YA TRYIN' TO DO, IMPALE HIM?? Aw great, now he's pukin' again. MUSH!"

"Uh-oh," said Mush.

By this time, of course, Sapphy was leaning against the side of the boat for support, Race had sank to the floor, and Spot and Blink were hugging each other because they were all laughing so hard.

Up the stairs came a very wet, very angry Jack, whose entire chest and stomach was covered in what they could only assume to be David's already-digested breakfast. He narrowed his eyes menacingly at Mush, who wrinkled his nose and flexed his abs. "Bring it on, Jacky-boy," he whispered. Blink whistled the Clint Eastwood theme song.

"Five to one Cowboy skunks 'im, who's bettin'?" Race yelled.

"Aw shut up, Race," everyone said in unison.

Jack bore down upon Mush, looking more and more terrifying with every step —and then he stopped suddenly and closed his eyes. "Oh man, I feel like shit," he groaned, and he leaned over the back of the boat and puked.

And Blink, grinning rather maniacally, turned the key in the ignition, shot the boat forward another ten feet, and watched over his shoulder as Jack toppled headfirst into the bay. "WOO HOO, TWO IN TEN MINUTES!" he yelled happily, and this time Spot was laughing with him.

Race and Sapphy decided to find a new place to go fishing before they were forced to witness Jack's reaction — which, although probably very amusing, could prove to be extremely violent. And Race wasn't really in the mood to see Blink lose his other eye. They finally slowed down by the bridge when they spotted a cluster of seagulls a little ways away over the water, diving down at what Race estimated to be a school of snappers.

"I liked your friends," Sapphy announced. "They were very..."

"Scary?"

"Entertaining."

"Good."

Sapphy smiled and then picked up a fishing rod. Humming that same irritatingly familiar song, she swung herself happily over the windshield and plopped down on the bow of the boat, letting her legs dangle over the edge. "Could you pass me some bait?" she called.

"Sitting up there is quite possibly the most dangerous thing you could do on this boat, did you know that?" said Race with a grin.

She smiled. "That's why I'm doin' it."

"I see." He reached for the packet of frozen shiners and tossed them to her, before climbing up onto the bow too. "I must say, it's kinda nice up here. You are to be congratulated on your choice of dangerous locations."

"I thank thee, good sir."

"Not at all, gentle lady."

Sapphy smiled at him, and a something wet fell from the sky and landed directly on her nose. Her smile didn't falter. "I've just been pooped on by a seagull, haven't I?" she said.

"Nah, it's just a raindrop."

"Oh."

Pretty soon it was flat-out pouring. Race swore under his breath and glared at the sky, which reacted with quite a nice little surge of more rain. "I'm sorry," he said to Sapphy. "This really sucks; I hate rain."

"Hey, don't worry about it; it's kinda nice. Do you know, rainwater over the bay tastes different from water inland?"

He looked at her. "Is that a real fact or your own theory?"

"My own theory," she said with a grin. She leaned back and opened her mouth to the sky, letting the rain slide down her tongue.

"You're a lunatic," he said fondly.

"Yeah, I know." She looked back down and peeled one of the shiners away from the rest in the packet, wrinkling her nose at it. "All right, how the HELL do you bait this thing without the little fishy getting all squished?"

"Here, lemme show you." He took the shiner from her and carefully pushed the hook through the eyeballs and around to the tail, so that it would move naturally when put into the water. "There ya go."

She stared at him. "That's one of the nastiest things I've ever seen."

He smiled. "That's why I'm doin' it."

She stuck out her tongue and cast her line into the water.

They sat there on the bow of the boat for several minutes, casting and reeling and not catching anything and getting utterly soaked. In the end it was Racetrack who caught the first fish, a good-sized snapper with more energy than, it seemed, Spot and Blink combined. It wriggled quite a lot once removed from the water, but eventually Racetrack grabbed it with both hands and managed to hold it still. "Heya Sapph, couldja do me a favor?"

"Anything," she said dryly, setting down her rod.

"See the hook caught in his gill? Do ya mind just pulling it out?"

Her blue eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and she looked up at him, mouth slightly open. "I..." she stuttered.

"You..."

"I..."

"Well, what is it, Sapphy?" he demanded finally. "What, are you scared of fish or somethin'?"

She paused for a minute, looked back at the fish, and nodded. "Bad past experience..." she mumbled.

"What happened?" he said at once.

She looked out over the water, about as embarrassed as it was possible for Sapphy to get. "I was attacked by minnows," she admitted finally.

"You were attacked by minnows?"

"They were vicious, Race!"

He shook his head, bemused. "Well why the hell did you let me take you out fishing if you're terrified of fish??"

She seemed to consider this for a few minutes. She bit her lip and stared down at the snapper, which was glaring up at the pair of them and mouthing what looked like silent swears, and then she looked back up at Race, who had both eyebrows raised and both hands full. There was something different in her eyes, it seemed, but before he had time to analyze it further, she carefully reached forward and slowly and deliberately removed the hook from the fish's gill.

Race blinked, very confused. "I thought you were scared of fish," he said.

"Terrified," she agreed, and she took the wriggling snapper from his hands and tossed it back into the water. "I think I've been traumatized for life." She leaned back against the windshield, pulled her baseball cap over her face, and started humming again. And this time, he recognized what song it was.

When he and Paolina were about to start their freshmen year of high school, she had rented "Moulin Rouge" and forced him to watch it in the hope that he would see what a babe-magnet Ewan McGregor was and miraculously become kind of normal. Her plan didn't work. The only thing her brother commented on throughout the whole movie was that Nicole Kidman said the word "schedule" like "shedule", he hadn't cried at the end, and the next day he had gone back out on his boat and forgotten about the movie completely.

But he had been impressed by the music. He never told Paolina, but "Your Song" was one of the most beautiful songs he had ever heard in his life — and he took the fact that Sapphy had been humming it all day as some kind of sign.

Or he would have, anyway, if he had been that kind of person.

He wasn't, though. He just kind of blinked and looked at her again in a completely different way. "Hey Sapphy?" he said, his voice sounding odd.

"Hmm?"

He swallowed with difficulty and shifted his weight. "Do you think we could do this again sometime? I mean, we don't have to stay on the boat, 'cause you're scared of fish, but maybe we could, like..." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Go somewhere else?"

She sat up, crossing her legs and putting her hat back on her head. "Like on a date?" she asked.

He cleared his throat again and looked away. "Um... yeah, if you want..."

"Sure."

He looked at here, surprised. "Are you saying yes?"

She raised an eyebrow, smiling. "Yes...?"

"Yes!"

"Yes."

She held out her cold, slimy hand covered in fish blood and scales, and he shook it with his cold, slimy hand covered in fish blood and scales. Yet again, their hands made a loud squelching noise upon contact — except this time, Paolina wasn't there to make them go clean themselves up. Shweet.

"Sapphy," he said, "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship."

She smiled. "That was corny."

"I know. Let's keep fishing and forget I said anything."

"No—" She touched his wrist dramatically. "Corn is good."

"That was corny, too."

"Shut up."

.o.

Author's Note: ((sings with Crutchy)) Da da da da da da da, you say it's your birthday! Da da da da da da, it's my birthday too, yeah! Da da da da da da, you say it's your birthday! Da da da da da... ((notice that everyone is staring at us)) Aw shut up, we rock.

Race: And so does Sapphy, so everyone must give her hugs.

Everyone: ((gives Sapphy hugs))

HOORAY FOR SAPPHY!! She's a genius and she writes brilliantly and she reviews, like, everyone's stuff, and I've been told that she's awesome both online and off. It's not like she's wonderful online and then you meet her in person and you realize she's a complete loser; she actually is really cool. Not that I've met her. That's just what I've heard. ((pauses)) Never mind. Anyway, please leave a review, and when you get the chance, wish Sapphy a happy happy birthday!! ((tackles her))

-Saturday