The Moment that Changed Everything
For someone who had struggled so much both with internal demons and external forces, for someone whose life had consisted of so much sadness and disappointment and turmoil, it was natural to be wary of happiness. Every day when Zuko awoke, he reached for Mai and when his hand found her there, warm and drowsy, he let out a tremulous breath and thanked whatever powers or whatever luck had allowed him to be with her.
"Yes, I'm still here," she yawned one morning sensing the motion of Zuko's hand before he touched her. With a voice low and sensuous, Mai tempted her new husband. "And since I am, perhaps you could attend to my needs."
That got the young Fire Lord's attention. He rolled over onto his side and took his wife of two months in, every bit of her. Her beauty astonished him every day too; hair so black it rivaled the darkest of nights, skin white and smooth and cool like moonlight, deceptively delicate looking limbs, long and slender, and eyes of gold that saw into him like no one else ever had.
Overwhelmed, his own gold eyes filled with tears and embarrassed he moved to brush them away. But Mai stayed his hand. The Fire Lady had been called cold, stoic, emotionless and an island of calm in the storm that was her husband's reign. Outwardly, she was all those things. The control she rendered over her feelings and her expressions was nothing short of miraculous when she needed it to be.
But those people who labeled Mai thus didn't really know her. They didn't know why she kept her emotions in check or how she had gotten so damned good at the job. They didn't know that inside, behind that perfect mask her emotions were as powerful as anyone's. Joy and sadness, anger and frustration, pride and fear all existed within Mai. One just had to dig a bit deeper and with a bit more force than with most people.
Zuko made it his mission to prod Mai, to bring her out whenever they were together and he had gotten good at it. Somehow, when she was with her husband, letting herself feel, letting something show on her face, expressing her love was not frightening any more. Mai was so comfortable with him and he was so easy with her, that all barriers were gone.
"Don't be ashamed," she admonished him. There was a time when such tears would have made her dreadfully uncomfortable, but no longer, at least not Zuko's tears.
He took her hand and kissed it tenderly. "People would say that I'm not manly enough," the Fire Lord remarked, his attempt at a joke.
"And since when do we care what 'they' think?" she retorted immediately. "Now, make love to me, Zuko. There's a manly activity for you."
Chuckling, he bent down and placed a passionate kiss on her lips. "I think I can manage that."
There were those in the Fire Lord's council, men who had started out loyal and even optimistic at the beginning of Zuko's reign, who now thought the Fire Lord too influenced by his woman, to likely to ask her opinion or take her advice.
"Who is running this country, Fire Lord Zuko or that knife wielding bitch?" Councilman Tanaka*asked a few other members one day after a long and trying meeting which both Mai and Zuko had presided over.
"Tanaka, Tanaka, show a little discretion will you?" Councilman Sato urged as he peered up and down the corridors, worried that Zuko or Mai or even servants might hear their discussion.
"Bah, the time for discretion is over. Now is the time for action. You all know how I feel and what I propose to do about this situation. It would break the Fire Lord; make him clay in our hands. Then we, men who actually know what we are doing, will run the nation."
It was a distasteful thing, this rudimentary plan of theirs, and some of the council members were unaware of their intentions, their views not quite aligned with Tanaka's and Sato's. Now, all they needed to do was hire an assassin, someone without peer. And where would they find such a person?
"We'll manage," Tanaka declared confidently.
And they did.
"Is it just me," Mai began that afternoon as she and Zuko enjoyed a late lunch, "or were the council members more disapproving than usual today? That Tanaka jerk kept shooting me the strangest looks. I know he doesn't like me or approve of me being at the meetings, but this was different, Zuko."
"Honestly, I didn't notice; maybe you imagined it." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Zuko wished he could retrieve them.
"I know damn well what I saw, Zuko," Mai snapped. "Something's up with him."
"He passed Toph's lie detecting thing she does," the Fire Lord offered meekly, not meeting Mai's eyes.
"That was almost two years ago; things change, people change." Mai's tone was harsh. "Do something about it."
"I'll have a talk with him tomorrow. I promise, Mai." Reaching across the table, he covered her hand with his. "I knew it was too good to be true." Zuko sighed then and let his head drop as if it was suddenly too heavy to hold upright.
"What?" Mai asked irritably.
Zuko lifted his head and looked about at Mai and then the small dining room they ate in. He gestured expansively with his arm. "This, everything; it's all been going well. I mean we've had some problems but still, things have been good. I should have known better."
"You're being dramatic," Mai stated with a shake of her head. "Tanaka's being an ass, that's all. If he continues, you can get rid of him."
"Yeah," Zuko agreed, but now with Mai feeling better, it was he who noticed the tiny beginnings of dread.
"They don't know every single servant by sight, do they?" Tanaka asked. "There must be a hundred that work in the palace and on the grounds. Surely we can substitute one."
"Perhaps one of the guards or one of the gardeners; she spends time in the gardens every day." Sato stroked his white beard and thought hard. "Yes, that could work."
Tanaka rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "I'll distract her. I can pretend that I'm apologizing for my recent rudeness. The assassin can come at her from behind."
"And then the Fire Nation can start afresh, once more," Sato added. "He'll never find a wife he loves so much again. He might lay with someone to produce an heir but that will be it. Mark my words." The old man sounded slightly in awe of the bond between Mai and Zuko, no matter that he was against the partnership they had formed, a partnership that spanned all aspects of their marriage.
"Yes," Tanaka smiled gleefully. "I want the deed done by the end of the week."
Zuko found Mai sprawled out in the garden, no sign of violence anywhere. But she was dead; her body already cool to the touch, her limbs stiff and difficult to move.
He had left his office early, wanting to surprise his wife as she made her almost daily tour of the gardens, wanting to scoop her up into his arms and carry her off to their rooms for an afternoon of complete togetherness, both in body and in spirit.
He thought at first that maybe she had hurt herself or fallen asleep, but her posture was too strange, the absolute stillness of her terrifying. When he leaned down to touch her face and he looked into her empty eyes, Zuko's cry was mournful, pitiful, a raw, ragged thing torn from his throat that went on and on until servants came running.
They tried to pry the Fire Lord away from his wife's corpse, but he would not let go. His grip was fierce and unrelenting. Not knowing what to do, one of the servants sent for Zuko's personal advisor and friend, a man named Kenji. He sat with Zuko and wept along with the Fire Lord.
Darkness eventually fell but for Zuko the entire world was dark now and would be forever. The remainder of his days spread out before him like some horrible, taunting nightmare. Never again would he trust happiness. Never again would he love like he had loved Mai.
*he shall be forever synonymous with super douche in my stories
A/N: written for meandcartoon22, who requested a story in which Mai is killed a few months after she and Zuko marry. Last Mai death I ever write, unless she's one hundred! I didn't overthink the assassination or the reasoning behind it. I just wanted a means to an end.