A/N - If you've read my other stories I've mentioned in a few of them that I'm a dispatcher. This story came to mind after my agency lost two officers this past Monday. I work for a large Agency and did not dispatch for these particular officers but the pain of their loss is felt by everyone in our agency.
It wasn't supposed to happen this way, not like this. They put their lives in danger day after day. It could have been an unsub, maybe that would make their loss hurt just a little less. The countless platitudes, the ones that told them; 'They died saving another' would feel more appropriate if it had been at the hands of an unsub.
Would the pain of loss really hurt less if it had been in a blaze of glory; guns drawn, bullets flying? Would their sacrifice feel more appropriate if someone far more evil had caused their deaths?
Nine hundred thousand, there were nine hundred thousand brothers and sisters just like them. Every day they put on a uniform, or a badge. The uniform and badge they worked so hard to earn was a proverbial target, inviting both the best and worst from society. They secured their weapons and tighten their vests, the gun and vest meant to offer a barrier of protection.
It wasn't the badge that got them killed, and their vests? They couldn't offer an ounce of protection, even if they had been secured that day. They left behind a family who knew deep down there was nothing they could have done to stop this, nothing that could stop the hurt they were forced to bare.
10-13, 11-99, Code 999, Code 33, 10-000, or officer down. They were all different ways to say the same thing. It didn't matter what code was used, it didn't matter how hard they tried to lessen the blow, when that code came over the air it hit everyone the same.
Hotch sat at the front of the chapel, the pain was paralyzing and the guilt was suffocating. He was the Agent in Charge he should have protected them, it was his responsibility to get them home, to make sure they were safe. He failed them that day, he failed them and everyone that loved them. What was left of their broken team surrounded him, all feeling the same wave of guilt and pain that was consuming their boss. Despite the assurance otherwise, they all felt a responsibility to their fallen teammates.
Hotch focused on his breathing, in and out, in and out, if he could focus on the slow shallow breaths maybe he had a shot at making it through the next hour without breaking down. Even in his weakest moment he needed to be strong for them and for their family. The stoic man sat stone faced, his eyes trying to focus on the Preacher, but his mind echoed with the sounds he would live with for the rest of his life.
"Central to available units. We have an 11-26 Northbound 50 just south of the 280 interchange." The dispatcher gave out the basic information of the disabled vehicle. The soft voice paused as she waited for a unit to advise they would respond.
"Central this is 50-108 show me enroute." The soft drawl of one of the uniformed officers promptly responded.
"Central copies 50-108 enroute to 11-26, Northbound 50 just south of the 280 interchange. It's Gold Dodge Minivan. Negative 1125 vehicle is on the right hand shoulder." The dispatcher gave the units the pertinent information they would need; what the vehicle looked like and that the vehicle was safely on the shoulder not blocking lanes.
Hotch heard the radio traffic, the team frequently listened to the radio's in the towns they were working in, always ready to be of assistance if the locals needed them. Hotch quickly tuned out the mundane traffic, knowing it didn't pertain to their case. He and Rossi were currently speeding down the road trying to get to who they believed to be the unsub's home. Blake and Reid were going to interview the unsubs sister, Morgan and JJ were racing to the other side of town to check the unsubs workplace
The take down was too easy, too anticlimactic, he was sitting on his front porch, smiling like he didn't have a care in the world. Rossi quickly took the man into custody, and just as Hotch went to call his teammates, the radio stopped them.
"10-13, 10-13 officers down." The voice was soft, their breathing labored as they tried to provide more information. Rossi and Hotch looked at each other, both thinking the same thing, they both thought they recognized that voice. Rossi handed their unsub over to one of the locals, both men running for their SUV.
"Dispatch copies 10-13 from unknown unit. Unit can you ID and advise your 10-20." The dispatcher tried to control her voice, not wanting to let the pounding in her chest take over. "Uknown unit I copy your 10-13, advise your 10-20." Still getting no response she reached over to her radio console and with a shaking hand she pressed the Emergency in Progress Tone, it was the tone all dispatchers prayed they'd never have to use. Just above her head a red light shone brightly, letting the room know they had an officer down. "All units hold non-emergency traffic, we have an unknown unit down. All units standby for a roll call."
A message popped up on her computer screen, the message stopping her from initiating the roll call. "All Units be advised we are receiving civilian reports of a police issued SUV that is overturned on the southbound 50 highway." Just as soon as she gave out the information multiple units came up advising they were enroute to assist.
Once there was a break in traffic she started status checking the units she hadn't heard from yet, praying for her units. It was her job to make sure her officers made it home safely at the end of the day, she couldn't lose an officer, not today; not ever.
Hotch listened to the radio as he sped across town, praying that voice wasn't one of his people, praying that whomever it was would be ok. Law enforcement officers were part of a brotherhood, it didn't matter where they worked, they were family and they looked out for their own. As each of the towns unit's confirmed they were Code 4, or stable, Hotch could feel the pain in his chest grow expontently. With each of their officers confirming they weren't hurt increased the chances it was one of his own.
Her last words echoed in Hotch's ears, "10-13 10-13 offiers down." They were the last words he would ever hear from his teammate, she died just moments after putting out the distress call. A car accident, a completely avoidable car accident had stolen two of his best agents. If they had been given the right information then his family wouldn't be broken. Something as simple as being given the wrong side of the highway had caused his heart to be ripped out of his chest.
The large chapel was filled to capacity, officers from around the world had come to pay their last respects to the fallen agents. The streets outside were lined with officers from across Virginia, these men and women had volunteered their time to give the agents a proper send off.
Hotch approached the front of the room, still not sure what to say about his agents, what more could he add that hadn't already been said? They were hero's, they hadn't died at the hands of an unsub, they didn't lay down their lives to stop a serial killer from killing another person, but they were hero's. The car that had been reported as broken down on the right shoulder of northbound 50 had been on the other side of the freeway and it wasn't on the shoulder it was very much in the number one lane. The same lane his agents had been speeding down, in an effort to get to the unsubs workplace. By the time they saw the vehicle it was too late.
Hotch looked down at the two flag covered coffins, each holding one of his agents; his family. He looked down at the people in the front pews. What was left of his team on one side, the other held the family of the people he should have found a way to protect. His weary eyes meeting with the dark brown eyes of his agent's mother, who clung to her two daughters. She had been through this before, having lost her husband, now was forced to say goodbye to her baby boy. Not being able to look at her sad eyes any longer he looked down at the small boy whose memories of his mother had ended too soon. He couldn't look in the small boys eyes for very long, all he could see in those deep blue eyes were his agents. The small boy sat in his father's lap, the New Orleans native unable to control the tears that cascaded down his cheeks, he had always worried that she would be hurt chasing unsubs, but never imagined he would lose her like this.
"Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity." Hotch paused not wanting to sound cliché, not wanting to minimize who his agents were. "Agents Morgan and Jareau were truly the embodiment of those words. Fidelity, it's not a word we use often, but maybe we should. Fidelity is faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support. They lived their lives with the highest regard for integrity, it is the pillar of the people and Agents that they were. I can think of no other word than Bravery to describe their actions just a mere week ago. Faced with an impossible choice Agent Jareau took evasive maneuvers that would save the lives of five people who were stranded in that van. I have no doubt that in the same circumstances, knowing the result would be the same, Agent Jareau and Morgan would have made the same sacrifice. Sacrifice, we use that word so casually sometimes. Agents Jareau and Morgan sacrificed their own lives so that others could live, Fidelity, Bravery, and Integrity."
Hotch stepped down from the microphone, pulling two badges from his coat pocket. He placed their FBI badges on top of their caskets, resting his hand on each for just a moment before joining his family.
Hours later, after their families had said their last goodbyes there were only five people left at the grave sight. They stood in a circle around their fallen friends, one last circle of protection. Hotch stood at the head of the flower covered coffins, their flags were given to Henry and Morgan's mother.
Rossi stood to the right of his longtime friend, the older man had lost agents before, but the pain had never hurt like this, but no other agent had come so close to being regarded as his own children the way JJ and Derek had. He closed his eyes listening to the silence, knowing that in just a moment he would no longer be able to hide the tears from his friends.
Oh we never know where life will take us
I know it's just a ride on the wheel
And we never know when death will shake us
And we wonder how it will feel
So goodbye my friend
I know I'll never see you again
But the time together through all the years
Will take away these tears
It's okay now
Goodbye my friend
Garcia stood across from Hotch, she had never revealed to her friends that she had a beautiful singing voice, but now as she was saying goodbye to her two best friends in the world she could think of no other way to honor them.
I've seen a lot things that make me crazy
And I guess I held on to you
We could've run away and left well maybe
But it wasn't time and we both knew
So goodbye my friend
I know I'll never see you again
But the love you gave me through all the years
Will take away these tears
I'm okay now
Goodbye my friend
Reid sobbed as his friend sang, not caring if anyone heard him. He had never had true friends like the one's he found in JJ and Morgan. People who looked like they did never had the time of day for people like him, but they accepted him. He was JJ's 'Spence' and Morgan's 'Pretty Boy'. As long as he lived he knew he would never have people who loved him, or that he loved the way those two did.
Life's so fragile and love's so pure
We can't hold on but we try
We watch how quickly it disappears
And we never know why
Blake held her glass tightly, she had been a part of this family for such a short amount of time. Despite the short time that she knew JJ and Morgan she considered them family, she loved them like she did her own brothers. The older woman choked back a sob as she thought about the little brother and sister she lost too son.
But I'm okay now
Goodbye my friend
You can go now
Goodbye my friend
"I'm okay now?" Emily listened to the words, she didn't think she would ever be ok. Morgan had held her when she was dying after the fight with Doyle. JJ had done everything she could to protect her, even lie to her family and friends. Despite being separated by an ocean they were still her family. No more skyping with Morgan, both making fun of the other, and no more Scrabble with Cheeto-breath. Emily didn't have many girlfriends growing up, never caring for the back stabbing ways of teenage girls who became nosey old ladies. But, JJ wasn't like most girls, she was kind and honest. JJ had been the first real best friend she had, she was the first person on the team to reach out to the raven haired woman. Emily couldn't believe she would never see her friends again.
With tear soaked cheeks Garcia finished, placing a hand on each of the caskets, fighting the urge to breakdown, but needing to say one last goodbye to the people she loved.
Emily put an arm around her friend, helping the woman remain strong just a little longer. Emily placed a glass in the Analysts hands as they all turned to face their leader.
Hotch lifted his glass and the others followed. He said the only words he felt he could force from his mouth, "To JJ and Morgan. We love you."
This story is dedicated to Officers Law and Gonzalez who lost their lives on Monday February 17, 2014. They were responding to an a vehicle acccident that was reported on the Northbound side of the freeway. All the details are not yet known but the person reporting the accidnet had the wrong side of the freeway. Officer Gonazlez was driving southbound when they came up on the accidnet, not only was the accidnet on the opposite side of the freeway that the units had been advised but the driver was out of the vehicle and was possibly standing in the lanes of travel. Officer Gonzalez swerved to miss the vehicle/pedestrian when he lost control of the Patrol car causing the vehicle to flip over and eventualy hit a sign pole. Both Officers Law and Gonzalez were killed. Officer Law leaves behind a Wife and three children while Officer Gonzalez leaves behind a Mother, Sister, and girlfriend. These two men gave up their lives to save the life of another. To Officers Law and Gonzalez...Mourning the loss of two of our own...
