What If
Elphaba ran through the streets looking for her childhood home, it had been a great many years since she'd last been there but she managed to navigate her way through the dark streets. She'd been given a chance, a chance that most people wish for all their lives, a chance to go back and right one of the wrongs that had happened because of her. Picking up a dirty newspaper off the street floor, she read the date releasing that she had come back so far that she hadn't even been born yet.
Elphaba watched from the darkness as a man in a bright emerald waistcoat and top hat practically moon-walked up the drive with a face that seems weirdly familiar. For a moment Elphaba thought she'd made a mistake in the dark and come to the wrong house, but that was when she saw her mother. A goddess with her raven hair hanging loose on her shoulders, an emerald evening showing off her figure and the bright smile that would have lit up the entire town it shone so bright.
She watched as her mother threw her arms around the man, locking him in a passionate kiss, the man that wasn't her father the governor. The couple closed the door, still locked in their kiss while the man gripped his bottle of green liquid. How could this be happening, she'd come back to right one of her wrongs but instead she saw ... this. Elphaba looked at the date again, thinking over and over again this could not be happening, she realised that in one day it would be exactly nine months until she was born. Elphaba fell into a heap on the fall as she realised that the man she'd worked so hard to make proud of her wasn't even her father, no wonder he didn't love her. The man's faced kept flashing before her eyes, like her brain was trying to show her something, trying to show her that this man looked an awful lot like a younger version of the wizard. No no no, it couldn't be true her father was the governor. Maybe he'd be back tomorrow, making him her father. But that vain hope was ruined when the man later appeared at the early hours of the morning and her mother called,
"Come back tomorrow ..., actually I guess it's, this evening I have a surprise for your last night."
It was then that Elphaba knew for sure, the wizard, the cruel man she'd fought for years, was her father.
Exhausted by her discovery, Elphaba curled up under some boxes and fell asleep. All night she tossed and turned thinking about the pressing matter of what right to wrong.
What if I'd never gone to Shiz, then I'd have met Fiyero. Maybe that would be a good thing, if we hadn't fallen in love with me than maybe he'd be happy with Glinda, Elphaba thought torn between what to decide. She could change one thing but what would it be.
What if I'd said yes to my father, well the wizard, he hardly deserves to be called my father but it's hard to think of him any other way now I know he is. If I'd said yes I'd had the power to do good and would be loved by all. That would make Fiyero happy. We could stay together and he could have the life that he deserved. But if I said yes I'd have to condone all the things that my father has done. My hands would be covered in blood, so not that she decided.
What if I ran away from home and never met the people I would hurt so much in my lifetime. What if I removed myself from the situation that might work she thought. My mother would have never needed to die, she thought. But then was struck by the memories of happy times that she'd lose. Fiyero's gentle touch, Glinda's high pitch giggle and Nessa's warm smile, those were times she'd be loathed to lose. Why should I have to give up anything, she asked herself. It was the wizard who caused all the problems in the first place why did I have to suffer when it was his fault. But it wasn't just him, I also was to blame, so headstrong and sure that I was right made me blind to the consequences of my actions, so decided, knowing what she had to do.
She decided to wait until evening when she was free to walk around town as she pleased without anybody releasing she was there. She didn't want to do it but she knew it was for the best. This was her choice, her What if.
What if I'd never been born, Elphaba thought, as she slid a knife through her father chest.