I Will Not

by Noise from Nowhere

Yes. There is yet another one: There are many rules at Hogwarts. Most are obvious and commonly seen among the detention files. However, you sometimes find some interesting rules among the lines students have had to write. These are those lines.

I Will Not

A/N: Okay. We know this done before but we tried to be as original as possible and only put in the best of the ideas we came up with. Enjoy. From J and M

I will not threaten Snape with shampoo; it does not work and will result in detention.

I will not send a love note to the Minister of Magic signed by "Dolores Umbridge".

I will not dye Dumbledore's beard pink. It doesn't matter what the rumors of his personal life are.

I will not switch Umbridge's "special" pens with her personal ones, even if she does deserve it.

I will not put a fake spider in Ron's bed.

Or tell him Aragog sent a message and is looking for him.

I will not attempt to make Luna jealous by telling her I saw a Crumple-horned Snorkack.

I will not put a dragon egg behind a tiny door and tell Hagrid about it.

I will not enchant cars and sell them to muggles.

I will not duplicate muggle money in order to become a billionaire.

I will not alter Hermione's report card.

I will not call Draco, "Mayflower".

I will not unleash Buckbeak on Draco.

I will not tell Percy's dirty secrets to his girlfriend.

I will not "forewarn" Professor Trelawney of her "impending doom". She will take me seriously.

I will not dress up as a dementor and tell Sirius to kiss me.

I will not tell Voldemort to "get a life" as he will probably take mine.

I will not tell Draco of his father's "affair" with a muggle woman.

I will not ask Voldemort why he is not manly enough to grow a beard.

I will not tell Ron that even in regular dress robes he won't get a date. Ever.

I will not use Neville as a body shield when battling Death Eaters.

I will not break Ron's wand and try to "fix it".

I will not tell Ginny that Harry has found another woman.

I will not try to set Snape up with McGonagall.

I will not refer to Professor McGonagall as "pretty kitty".

I will not turn this list in for homework.

I will not draw a cloud over Harry's lightning scar.

A/N: In case you wanted to know there are 27 "I will nots". We may or may not do another list. Depends on whether or not we feel like coming up with more.