Acknowledgements

A special thanks goes to my husband for being a great technical advisor, to Grant and Naylor for coming up with the Red Dwarf Universe (and not suing me), to Janine and LuvsRimmer for their useful critique, and Feared-Director for their wonderful and encouraging review.

One Final Mission by Sena Kathryn Schneider
One

Three million years from earth.

Starbug shook hard as enemy fire hit once more. "1200 g-gooks and closing," David Lister announced. "What's the status on that torpedo bay, Kryten?"

The mechanoid looked away from his tactical instruments. "The garbage missile has been loaded," he replied. "Shall I fire when ready, Sir?"

The ship was racked with another blow.

The Cat's usually well-kempt locks fell into complete disarray. "Yeah," he answered for his mate as he whipped out a hairbrush from nowhere. "MY hair can't take much more of this," he commented as he steered the helm with one hand and tried to brush his long, beautiful locks with the other.

"I have locked onto the target," Arnold Rimmer declared as he looked through the periscope. "Let's hope we can make a dent in the simulants' vessel," he added in a dismal tone.

Before Kryten could follow through, an alert sounded at his post. The mechanoid looked at his console and announced, "We're getting an audio signal from the enemy vessel."

"What could the smeggers want now?" Lister asked in a disgusted tone.

"Perhaps they are looking to negotiate," Rimmer concluded as he absently rubbed at the hologramatic 'H' on his forehead. "Open hailing frequencies, Kryten. I'll handle this."

The mechanoid flipped a switch. There was a wavering sound as the radio locked on the frequency and then opened hail.

"This is your last chance to surrender the humanoid scum," said a very rough-sounding male voice. "Failure to cooperate will result in your immediate deaths."

"You don't scare us, you mechanical moron," Rimmer said while acting brave. "Be prepared to be blasted out of the sky."

The hologram looked at Kryten and gave him the signal to cut the comm.-link.

The mechanoid did so without hesitation.

The simulants fired once more. As the photon blast streaked across space, a small tear in the time/space continuum formed only clicks from its mark.

Kryten fired the compressed garbage torpedo as the Starbug was rocked from the blast. The deployed weapon streaked toward its target, but it abruptly halted when it reached the hole in space.

The quartet watched in horror as the time-hole opened up wider and then swallowed the garbage torpedo whole.

"If anyone needs me, I'll be in the galley hiding in the cupboards. Bye," Rimmer quickly said before he streaked out of the cockpit.

Lister glanced back at the space that the hologram used to occupy and then he shook his head. In the six years that he and his dead bunkmate had been stuck together, Rimmer had made a few subtle changes, but he was still pretty much the same. Before he could ponder it further, the last human's thoughts were distracted by the read-out on the screen before him.

The navigation tools displayed the orange swirling of light covered by a grid. Next to the grid were the numbers that indicated distance and those numbers were decreasing in value.

Lister knew full well that the brakes were on full stop. A look of horror enshrouded his face as he declared in an even more horrifying tone, "We're being drawn in!"

"Sir?" the mechanoid asked, not totally understanding.

The last human gripped the co-pilot controls in full reverse. "The time-hole, Kryten," he clarified. "It's pulling us towards it. We're about to be drawn in."

The Cat looked at his garments. "Orange with orchid and mauve?" he asked in dismay. "I'd rather be dead!"

David Lister glanced at his friend. "It isn't open for debate, Cat," he told him. "Help me steer into the eye of it and let's hope that we can make it through without a scratch."

The Cat put his brush down and gripped the steering column with both hands. "If we don't get out of this alive," he began to announce, "I want you guys to know that I don't give a damn about either of you."

With that, our men entered the eye of the time-hole as they prayed that they didn't crash into whatever was on the other side.