I was always cursed. Though, I always saw the bright side of things. I really don't know how or why. I was always able to smile. Naturally, easily. Now I need to fake it. I hate being cursed more than anything. I'd rather die. But, I have people to live for.

Had...had people to live for.

Ever since Neah, this stupid Noah had started to share a body with me, I honestly just want to die. It's like, he is my curse on hardcore steroids.

I never thought I was really cursed. But know the curse has affected everything. Even if the sun was shining at it's highest peak, I now see the world as dark. and I thought the sun would never darken. Well, it did. I don't know if I will ever understand the meaning of light. Of anything but darkness, ever again. Now, everyone thinks I am a traitor, after being counterparted by a Noah. But, I am not him, Neah, no I am me. Allen Walker...helper of human kind, killer of akuma, and Noah, and evil.

Never would I hurt a living soul. Never would I try. But nobody else thinks that way. And know, I sit alone, crying. Sobbing. Holding my breath, trying to stay quiet. But nobody cares and nobody ever will. Ever again. Anyone alive now, who I once called 'friend' calls me 'traitor'. If anyone is a traitor it's them. Krory is dead. Lavi is gone. Kanda is...don't even...just no. Miranda is still hear, I just never see her. And Lenalee...she won't make eye contact with me anymore.

Master is gone again.

Everyone is gone again.

Anything that had a heart turns cold towards me. The only missions I am ever put on are the ones that are simple, but risky. Things that could quite possibly kill me. And I think that's what they want. To kill me. Even though they all hate me, I still fake a smile. Bit, right now I can't smile for real. Oh, who am I kidding I will never again be able to smile for real, even if I want to. Another teardrop fell down my cheek. If it weren't for this stupid Noah, I would be the same Allen Walker, helper of human kind.

Now, I am starting to stop believing myself. Am I a helper of human kind? I think I am. I thought I was. Slowly, I can feel myself loosing my sanity. Bit by bit, I'm breaking. Starting to go insane. Each teardrop falling, each bit being shattered. Shattered like a glass pot to a hammer. I hate the feeling. I know that soon, I will dehydrate and I will die. And I will fulfill the wish of the rest of the Order. Maybe I should just end it myself. Maybe I should go bungee jumping without the cord. Skydiving with a faulty parachute. "Accidentally" cutting of my hand while cooking an"loosing" the bandages.

I should just give up now...right? Who would care if I did? It's not like there is anything left to live for. Right? I've made up my mind. Gradually, I made my way up to the highest peak of the order. High enough, right? I put one foot off, then the other. Falling...I was falling. Fast. But then...something caught me...