I do cherish you

Title: Second Chances

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this plot!

Archive: Just email me and tell me where you put it at:

rufusshinra@e...

Warnings: Yaoi, Angst, mention of death, lemon in later parts,

tissues may be needed.

Pairings: 1x4\4x1 , 6x3 (Implied 2x3) (Implied 13x6)

*...* Italics

"..." spoken words

'...' thoughts

Prologue:

Milliardo Peacecraft felt a hand on his shoulder and glanced behind him to see Heero standing there still dressed in the black tux he had been wearing earlier. He smiled back at the younger man. "Hello, Heero Yuy, or should it be Winner now?" he said, amusement coloring his voice.

 A dark eyebrow raised and a faint smile graced Heero's lips, before disappearing again. "Both actually, but I have another reason I came over here." he said quietly.

Milliardo turned slightly to face him. "What is it then?" he asked the smile fading, concern beginning to come into his azure eyes.

Heero turned his attention back out into the room. "I need you to help a friend of Quatre and I. Quatre's worried about him, you see his partner died last year in the epidemic that swept part of L3. He took it rather badly, but he won't talk about it to us. Quatre is afraid he'll keep the hurt inside till it's too late and he ends up hurting himself." Heero's arms crossed over his chest as he spoke, his dark eyes scanning the room in front of them. "Which it appears he's already taken his leave, would you follow him and speak with him? Quatre, and I agree with him, said that he needs to talk about Duo's leaving and begin to heal. I've learned it does one, no good to keep your emotions inside."

Milliardo nodded once in agreement. "True, I am assuming you're speaking of Trowa? " Heero nodded briefly, eyes still on the room before them. Milliardo smiled faintly as he watched Heero's eyes light up suddenly as they fell on a smaller blonde figure making its way towards them wearing a white tux. 'He's got it bad, that's for certain.' he thought as he watched Quatre walk up to stand in front of them.

Quatre smiled at both of them and then accepted the kiss Heero gave him, before speaking. "I assume Heero's told you about Trowa?" he said softly, a trace of concern in his voice.

Milliardo nodded. "I will need his address of course if I am to catch him." Heero gave a short nod before walking away, presumably to get the address. Milliardo glanced back at Quatre. "So how bad is he?" he asked quietly.

Quatre sighed softly looking down at his hands. "It wasn't so bad at first, but then the holidays hit and then Duo's birthday. He got worse after that, but he won't show it. He keeps it hidden down deep and its hurting him terribly. I don't think this helped him any either." Quatre's light blue eyes lifted to glance at him silently and he read the pain in the gaze and nodded in understanding.

"I'll do everything I can to help him, Quatre." he told him softly, watching as the eyes brightened in response.

"Thank you Milliard-sama, I hope you can. He needs someone to talk to now, but he needs someone who knows what he's going though."

The words sent a flash of painful memory that he ruthlessly shoved aside before it could hurt him. Heero returned then and handed him a small card with an address and phone number on it. "That's his number and address, if he's not there then he's gone back to earth already and most likely to Italy. He has a place there as well. The address to it is on the other side." he said.

Milliardo nodded and placed the card within the small pocket of his white suit jacket. "Thank you, I'll do everything I can for him." he told them, watching as Heero wrapped an arm around Quatre's shoulders. He then gave them both a short bow of respect and then left to walk to the door, picking up his trench coat and putting on over his white suit. He opened the door and then walked out taking a band out of his coat pocket and binding his hair into a ponytail so the wind wouldn't snarl it up as he walked outside the building.

He walked out of the building and then took out the card glancing at it once more before putting it back and beginning to walk towards the address written on it.

~All I am, All I'll be

Everything in the world, all I'll ever need

Is in your eyes, shining at me

When you smile I can feel all my passion unfolding

Your hair brushes mine

And a thousand sensations seduce me 'cause~

      ~Mark Wills~

Trowa was hunched down in his coat, his eyes on the cracked concrete sidewalk. His mind wandered as he walked to what his friends had been trying to say to him during the party after the wedding. He shook his head, closing his eyes as a wash of pain swept over him. 'I'm not ready to let go yet,' he thought, as he walked towards his small apartment. 'I can't accept that he's not coming back, even though I know he's not.' he raised his left hand to wipe the tears out of his eyes and then sighed sadly as he looked at the golden band around his ring finger. It was the only thing he had left that Duo had given him. The house, and everything else had either been given away or placed in storage on L3 away from him. Too many harsh memories laid within them for him to keep them.

He began walking again towards his apartment and turned to walk up the stairs to the door when he crashed into something. Looking up, his eyes widened slightly for a moment before he collected himself and looked at the figure standing in front of him. "Gomen Zechs, I didn't see you standing there." he said calmly.

Zechs looked down at him and for a moment several emotions seemed to flicker within the azure gaze. "May I speak with you?" the blonde man asked softly.

Trowa watched him for a moment and then nodded walking past the man to open the door to the apartment building and lead him up into it to his door. He took his keys out and opened the door, walking inside the sparse living room and turning on a light. "I assume that you were sent by someone?" he said quietly as he sat down on the couch watching as the blonde walked inside and then walked over to lean against a chair, still wearing his coat.

Zechs nodded once, his eyes scanning his apartment silently.

Trowa waited and it appeared Zechs was going to wait till he made the first move. He ran a hand through his long bangs and then leaned back into the couch watching the blonde Preventer. Two could play the waiting game, he decided as he studied the man leaning against the stuffed chair. He must of come straight from the wedding party as he was still wearing that white suit of his under the trench coat. He looked up and noticed that his long hair hung over his shoulder gathered together into a thick ponytail.

 

That brought painful memories, he looked away and then down at his hands, twisting the band around his ring finger. Finally he heard a soft sigh and the rustle of cloth against cloth. Glancing up he noticed Zechs had removed his coat and laid it across the back of the chair. His eyes traced the designs of the gold and black on the suit's jacket lapels, as Zechs sat down in the chair. Now they were watching each other eye-to-eye and he began to grow slightly uneasy with the silence. With the move the older man had made, he had made it clear that he wasn't going to leave until he had talked with him. 'Damn.. he's good at this.' he thought as he tried to find another point of interest around his living room besides the man sitting in front of him. 'Well, we'll just see how good. I'm not going to spill just because he's sitting there watching me.'

Mind made up, he stood up from the couch and then walked to the bathroom and took a hot slow shower, putting the person sitting in his living room out of his mind. 'If I show him I don't have anything to say, he'll leave.' he said silently to himself as he dried off and opened the door to glance back into the living room. Zechs was still sitting there. 'Damn.. very well then, We'll just see how long you can wait.' he thought as he walked out of the bathroom in his robe. He opened his bedroom door, walked in and shut it firmly behind him.

*

That morning he woke up and slid out of bed, his visitor mostly forgotten. 'He most likely left after he saw I wasn't going to talk with him.' he thought as he walked out of his room heading towards the kitchen. To his surprise though, he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight in front of him. Zechs was still there, his head was leaning back against the back of the chair and he appeared to be asleep. He slowly walked towards him and looked down at him. His hair was out of the earlier ponytail and had spread around the back of the chair like an angel's halo. 

Trowa sighed softly, before shaking his head at him. He walked past him into the kitchen and put the coffee on. Walking back out into the living room, he watched the man silently as he slept and then sat down on the couch again. 'Why did he stay?' he wondered silently as he watched the slow rise and fall of Zech's chest and then heard the small *ding* of the coffee pot as it finished. Standing back up, he glanced silently back at the man as he walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Do you have enough for two?"

The soft question startled him for a moment and he turned around to see Zechs standing in the doorway. Azure eyes were only half open and he realized that it was the small sound that must of woken the man up. He took down another mug and poured another cup, handing it to Zechs as he walked into the kitchen to sit at the small table. Picking up his own cup Trowa sat down across from him and drank from it slowly.

"Good coffee, that's hard to find on the colonies most of the time." Zechs said softly as he sipped from the mug.

Trowa studied him for a moment then nodded. "You have to know where to go and who to buy it off of. Some try to pass off fake coffee as the real thing, it may be cheaper, but its not the same." he said quietly.

Zechs smiled back faintly. "True.. " he said softly setting down the mug on the table. "Would you allow me to buy you breakfast?"

Trowa considered silently and then nodded. It would get them out of the house and once the meal was finished he could leave Zechs behind and return here to spend the day by himself, like the days before the wedding. He could try to work on his book he had started before.. he looked down into his coffee as that line of thought died, bringing grief in its wake. He felt a slim hand caress his shoulder and looked up into azure that watched him from across the table.

"I know your in pain, I've went through it myself. But if you will give me a chance I will try to ease it and let you go on with your life." Zechs said softly, his eyes holding a promise within that there was a way to heal, a second chance at life if he only gave the man in front of him a chance to show him how.

He swallowed past the pain and then closed his eyes. "Alright. I'll listen." he said softly. The hand on his shoulder gave him a brief squeeze and then left. He heard the chair scoot back and then opened his eyes to see Zechs standing beside the table. Standing up he sighed softly, picking both cups up and setting them in the sink. He turned to see the tall blonde waiting for him in the doorway.

Walking back into the living room he walked into his room and got dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. Coming back out he slipped into his shoes, watching the other man slip back into his coat, trying to gather his hair all in one place - and failing. Something about the scene amused him silently and he walked back to the bedroom, picking up a brush. Walking into the living room again, he smiled faintly at Zechs as he was attempting to put his hair back into a ponytail. "I can help if you want.." he offered showing him the brush.

Zechs glanced back at him and then abandoned his attempts to make his hair behave, walking over to sit down on the couch. "Would you?" he asked.

Trowa nodded and took the band that Zechs offered as he came to stand behind him. He ran the brush through the long hair and then out of habit began braiding the hair and wrapped the band around the end before he realized what he had done. Blinking, he swallowed the tears that threatened to break free and set the brush down. "Gomen…I.." he began but stopped when Zechs held a hand up.

"There's no need to be sorry. But if its too painful for you to see my hair like this then I could take it out and.." Zechs trailed off one hand silently messing with the end of the braid.

It wasn't quite as long as Duo's had been and that helped him to get past the grief and he shook his head silently. "No.. you can leave it in there." He looked up at him and gave him a faint smile. "It looks nice on you.." he said softly as he stood up and retrieved his coat.

The was a small soft laugh. "And there's the added bonus that it's out of my way now." Zechs said as he stood up watching him, a faint smile back on his lips. 

Trowa walked over to the door, opening it silently and letting him walk past before shutting and locking the door. "True, now did you have any place in mind for breakfast?"

Zechs nodded his smile widening slightly. "Indeed, and they use things directly imported from earth as well." he said as he turned to walk down the stairs to the lobby of the building.

Trowa lifted an eyebrow as he walked outside with Zechs. "Wouldn't that be expensive?"

The blonde smiled and nodded. "Of course that's why they're the best place to eat on this colony. With the prices they charge, you could import a ton of things from earth to here. " He laughed softly.

Trowa began to relax as they walked down the sidewalk, for the first time in a year he felt his spirits lift and the day seemed brighter than it had before. Silently he was a little glad Zechs had stayed to talk to him. Maybe…just maybe he would be able to move on now.

~I do, cherish you

For the rest of my life

You don't have to think twice

I will, love you still, from the depths of my soul

It's beyond my control

I've waited so long to say this to you

If you're asking do I love you this much, I do~

A week later he waited silently outside the apartment building doors, scanning the streets as he stood there waiting. After breakfast they had returned to his apartment and talked the rest of the day, he had found out some things he hadn't known about the blonde man and had revealed some about himself surprisingly. They had shared dinner and then Zechs had left, promising to return again tomorrow. He had and they had shared lunch as well as dinner, spending the rest of the time talking about themselves. Strangely he felt himself opening up to the older man as he had with Duo before. But the fourth day, Zechs had called and told he had a mission he needed to complete before he could come back and promised to return in three days.

It was the night of the third and Trowa waited for the blonde silently outside his apartment hoping he would come. He hadn't had a problem with living alone until he had begun to spend time with Zechs, but now he didn't really care to stay cooped up in his sparse apartment all day by himself. 'Where was he? Maybe he had meant the morning of the fourth day?" he chewed on his bottom lip softly as he scanned the sidewalks and street once again.

Finally he gave up and turned to walk back up the stairs when long arms wrapped around his shoulders. "Given up on me ne?" came the soft baritone and he smiled faintly. The arms withdrew and he turned around to look at Zechs. The tall blonde was dressed in the Preventers uniform and was smiling at him, his azure eyes held amusement.

Trowa smiled back slowly and then glanced at the hair that flowed down the back unbound. "I see you finally took it down." he said, teasing him.

Zechs gave him a mock sad sigh. "Yes.. the band finally broke and it unraveled on me. Been in my way ever since, can you do something about that?" he asked with a soft smirk.

The teasing got a small laugh from him and he decided to play along. "Hmm.. I don't know. It does seem to have a mind of its own, we could try I suppose though." he said was he walked up the stairs and opened the door for him.