Post-ep for the thirteenth step, stand alone & complete.
I own nothing, no infringement intended, no profit made.
After leaving the bar Emily sat behind the wheel of her car but couldn't muster the motivation or clarity to start the ignition to drive anywhere. She remained stationary starring straight ahead, her heart racing. For the first time in years she really didn't know what to do. Should she run? Should she pretend it didn't matter? Should she tell Hotch? She wasn't really sure that anything she did would change the outcome. Ian Doyle was relentless, if he wanted her he would get to her regardless of what she did or didn't do. Unless someone else took him out first. She knew that she was going to have to make her peace with the fact she would end up facing him down. She had changed a lot, learned a lot since their last encounter, she hoped it would be enough of a surprise to him for her to take the advantage.
Her thoughts were shaken by her cell phone ringing. She grabbed for it in shock, glaring at the screen "Aaron Hotchner" flashed up before her eyes. The words came at her like an accusation of guilt. He didn't even know she was here.
"Hey." she said simply answering the call.
"Hey," came the reply on the other end, "I thought you were home for dinner?"
Guilt stabbed her gut as she realised she had told Hotch she would follow him home after a suitable amount of time had passed, her stomach sank further when she thought of Jack sitting waiting for her to come home after work and her not appearing.
"Yeah, ... Ugh, I'm sorry... I just, ah I wasn't feeling so good and I didn't want to pass anything onto you or Jack, not with him being in a new class and all, so I thought maybe I'd just stay at my apartment out the way for tonight. But I ... Uh... Fell asleep?". She hoped she sounded convincing. She certainly did feel pretty nauseous right about now.
There was a momentary silence on the other end before he responded, "You're feeling sick? Do you need anything?" he asked her quickly.
She felt a fresh wave of guilt at his reaction, he should have been chewing her out for standing him and his young son up for dinner, instead he was concerned, compassionate and also sounded a litlle... excited?
"No I think I just need to sleep it off thanks." she responded.
There was a beat of silence before he spoke again, more quietly, "You don't think... I mean, we have been trying..." he let his words trail off for her to draw the meaning from them.
She realised rather abruptly she had chosen the wrong excuse, he thought she was pregnant, she tried to think fast, "ooh, no, I mean, i'm not pregnant, I...erm, I have a fever so I know that's not why I'm feeling sick." she held her breath, disgusted at the number of lies she had managed to tell in one conversation with someone she loved.
"Oh, of course I know you'd tell me if you thought you were pregnant anyway. I gotta go bath Jack, do you want me to call you later?" the disappointment in his voice was evident, they had stopped 'being careful' six months ago and had been admittedly trying to conceive for the last four months, tracking days, planning, and so far without luck. He had joked they should get drunk and go have sex in the back of the car, it seemed to work for teenagers.
"No, thanks though, I'm going to try to sleep. Give Jack a kiss and a big apology from me. I'm sorry."
"It's OK, cant be helped, I love you." he told her.
"I love you too." she told him, struggling to keep her composure. As she hung up the phone tears began to fall, she hoped he knew she loved him as much as she said, that whatever happened or came out that remained true. She hoped that with all her heart, as she sat alone in her darkened car she felt that those might very well be the last words she said to Aaron Hotchner.