Chapter One

Crazy Ride

Heaven knows that it's a crazy ride

It's never perfect all the time

You know it's just a crazy ride

It's never perfect all the time

It'll pull you down and send you flyin'

So baby hold on tight

On this crazy ride.

"Blair, I did nothing wrong. I promise you," pleaded Chuck Bass as he could see the pain in her eyes.

"Chuck...the blast says there's proof," stated Blair Waldorf, as she tried to hold back the tears in her eyes.

Blair was never one to show weakness, especially not in front of Chuck Bass. She knew better than to show how much of an effect he had on her. How he truly made her feel inside. But she didn't know how much longer she could hold back the tears after what was revealed to her. Despite the fact that she never spoke out loud those 3 words, she knew how she felt. She couldn't deny it, but this was why she was afraid to say those words to him and why she had promised herself to never fall in love with Chuck Bass. But she knew it was too late. Which made the pain even more unbearable.

"There's no proof, Blair. I'm not lying to you. I wouldn't do that to you. That's not me anymore. I'm different. You know that," he pleaded as he grabbed her hands and held them in his.

Blair wanted to pull away from his grasp, but she couldn't. Just like she couldn't make herself believe him. Not after knowing who he once was. She knew firsthand how easily it could be to fall back into being who you used to be. No matter how hard you tried to change who you are, sometimes people fall short. All it takes is one mistake. And Blair didn't know if she could put all her trust in THE Chuck Bass. The boy never had a serious relationship before Blair in all his life. How could she be sure that he would never break her heart?

"Blair?"

Blair finally looked up into his eyes and was about to speak when both their phones when off.

Last blast revealed that newbie Evelyn was spotted heading outside the Empire with one of Upper East Siders finest. Now which one of our alumni was seen with the newbie? Chances are there's only one who lives in the Empire, but what about that Waldorf he's dating? Poor B. Looks like Bass might be a Basshole after all. But wait, didn't I say I would give you proof? Well, here it is folks, enjoy. Looks like you owe me one Bass, cause this one's all on lonely boy.

Blair couldn't help but smile, he had been telling her the truth.

"I told you, Blair. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you," he promised as she pulled him in for a hug.

"I'm sorry, Chuck. I should've believed you from the start. I'm so-," spoke Blair as Chuck interrupted her with a kiss on the lips.

"I know how hard it's going to be for you to accept that I will never jeopardize our relationship because of my past. I understand that. You don't have to apologize for being a bit skeptical," chuckled Chuck.

Blair could only smile. Although she still felt guilty for doubting Chuck. She wanted to be with him, but she still had this feeling that he could easily break her heart. And that scared her.

"What's wrong, Blair?" asked Chuck as he recognized the distance in her eyes despite the smile.

He knew that he was not the boyfriend type, but with Blair he wanted to be. He cared about her deeply and knew her well that he could always tell when something was bothering her.

Blair didn't want to lie to him, but she also didn't want to reveal the fact that she may never be able to fully trust him. When she knew that he trusted her. He never doubted her. He always believed every word she said.

"I...I want this to work, Chuck. I want to be with you."

"You are with me, Blair," Chuck stated in confusion.

"That's not what I mean," Blair was frustrated with herself as she couldn't put into words what she wanted to say

"Then what do you mean?"

There was a slight pause as Blair took a moment to gather her thoughts.

"What I'm saying is that...I want to be committed to this relationship fully and a part of me feels like that can never happen. I want to be able to trust you. I don't want to have to second guess my relationship with you every time there's a gossip girl blast. Don't get me wrong, it's not your fault. I knew who you were before I walked into this relationship and to be honest, it's my fault. I shouldn't expect you to have to change to please me. It's not fair to you"

"Blair, are you ending this with me?" asked a surpised Chuck

"I'm saying that I need a break. I just need to get my thoughts together before I can be in a relationship that requires me to put my heart out there," Blair said through choked tears

"You don't have to do this, Blair. I did nothing wrong. I promised you I would never, I will never hurt you. You're heart is everything to me. I will never break it. Please, Blair," pleaded Chuck.

"I'm sorry, Chuck. Believe me, it's not you. You've been amazing. These past two months have been amazing. I'm just, I'm stupid. I don't know why I can't put my trust in you. I want to."

"You're not stupid. And it is partly my fault. I've done a lot of things and I guess this is my punishment for that."

"I'm sorry," whispered Blair

"Don't be. You'll figure it out and we'll be together again. I'll prove to you that you can trust me. Just take your time. I'll wait," he smiled at her

She could only look at him and smile sweetly. She had no idea Chuck Bass could be this sweet and understanding. She hated herself for ending the relationship so out of the blue. She hadn't meant to, but a part of her knew this had to happen. In time they'd be together again.

"I promise I won't make you wait long," she said as she kissed him one last time.

ONE MONTH LATER

"Serena, come here quick!" shouted Blair from her bedroom as Serena barged in

"What's wrong?" she shrieked

"What is this?" Blair asked as she pointed at her laptop screen

Serena walked over and gasped at what she read and saw

"So it's true," said Blair

"It's been a month since you ended it with him, Blair. You know Chuck, to him that's like a year."

"Thanks for the comfort, S." Blair stated dryly although she knew Serena was right

"I'm sorry, B."

"I don't know why I'm so upset. It's not like he's dating this girl. She's just someone he slept with, right?"

"Blair, if you miss him why not just tell him?"

"I wish it were that simple, but it's not. He promised me he would wait and it looks like he lied to me. How is that supposed to me make me trust him?"

"Maybe you should talk to him. Who knows, maybe he didn't sleep with her."

"I highly doubt it."

"Blair, you never know. Isn't that what trust is all about? You can't just assume things. You should go to the source. If he said he was going to wait, then he's probably going to wait."

Blair knew her friend was right, but she had only talked to Chuck twice after the night she ended things and both of those times, the mention of their relationship had been ignored. Blair finally gave in to Serena's questionable look

"Fine. I'll talk to him."

"That a girl, B. Good luck," Serena said as she exited Blair's bedroom.

Once at the bar, Blair instantly regretted her decision.

"Hello, you must be Blair," said the woman sitting beside Chuck that had been the same one spotted with Chuck on the gossip girl post.

"Hello. I'm sorry, but I don't think we've met. You are...?" asked Blair

"I'm Michelle."

"Nice to meet you, Michelle," Blair said as she turned to face Chuck, "I didn't know you were bringing a guest"

"My apologies, Blair. I just thought since you wanted to have a friendly chat you wouldn't mind if I brought one," replied Chuck.

Blair could only give him her bitchiest fake smile and he chuckled at the sight of it. He knew Blair thought that Michelle was his new fling, but the truth was that Michelle was an old friend who surprisingly Chuck never slept with. Simply because she was like a big sister to him. But Blair didn't have to know that. At least not now. He had kept his promise and he would see to it once Blair came to her senses. So for now, he would watch as she tried to not play the jealous card.

"So where are you from, Michelle?" asked Blair as she took a shot of tequila

"London," replied Michelle as she watched Blair take another shot

"London. How nice," smiled Blair

"It is rather lovely," replied Michelle

An hour passed and Blair was no where near finished downing alcohol. Chuck finally had to put a stop to her consumption.

"I think that's enough alcohol for you, Blair," ordered Chuck as he paid off the bartendar.

"You're not the boss of me," slurred Blair.

"That may be true, but that doesn't mean I can't look out for you," he stated as he grabbed her hand to escort her out of the chair.

"I'll call see you back at the hotel, Michelle," he told Michelle as she nodded.

Blair could only laugh at the thought of Chuck and Michelle. Chuck ignored her as he knew what she must have thought. But that couldn't stop him from smirking at the thought of how jealous she was.

Once inside the limo, Chuck kept his distance from Blair. He didn't want to take advantage of her at the drunken state she was in. But that didn't stop him from sitting beside her once she tried to stand up in the moving vehicle.

"Blair, come on, sit down. You're going to hurt yourself," he scolded her as she finally sat back down.

They sat in silence, side by side, until Blair finally spoke

"Why do you this to me, Chuck?"

"Why do I do what to you?"

"Why do you make me feel..." and before Blair could finish her thoughts she collapsed into a deep sleep.

Chuck just sat there defeated as he held a sleeping Blair in his arms. Wishing more than anything that he could hold her forever.

Once they arrived at Blair's, he escorted her up to her bedroom.

"Mr. Chuck, be extra quiet, Miss Eleneor have company in other room," warned Dorota as Chuck quietly led Blair up the stairs to her bedroom.

Luckily Blair was still in a drousy state that she didn't have the strength to make any noise. Once inside her bedroom, Chuck guided her to her bed and pulled the blankets over her. He lightly placed a kiss on her forehead.

Before he was out the door, she called his name.

"What is it, Blair?" he asked as he looked down to her

"Thank you."

He only nodded and then turned to leave again

"Wait!" shouted Blair, surprised by her own voice

Chuck turned towards her again. It was then that she didn't know what she wanted to say to him, she just knew she wanted him to stay with her.

"Can you stay with me for a little while?" she asked

Chuck contemplated the situation. Of course he wanted to say yes. He would give anything to be with her. But a part of him knew that when it came to Blair, he had to be careful not to hurt her. She needed a break from him and he knew that. He respected her decision. Taking advantage of her like this when she was drunk and not thinking clearly would be wrong.

"Please," she begged.

He looked at her once more before agreeing.

"Only for a little while," he assured her.

She smiled as she made room for him to lay beside her. He climbed in with her and wrapped an arm around her as she snuggled into his chest. She couldn't help but enjoy the moment until she remembered why he could only stay for a little while.

"Michelle," she spoke the name with disgust

"What does she have to do with anything?" asked Chuck

"Are you really asking me that right now?"

Chuck then realized why she was getting so angry. He couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny?" Blair was growing angrier by the second

"Nothing, it's just...Blair, Michelle is a childhood friend of mine. Nothing more."

It was then Blair's turn to laugh

"You really expect me to believe that? Chuck, you've NEVER had a girl that's been just a friend."

Chuck wasn't offended by her response because it was the truth.

"I understand it is hard to believe, but its the truth. Michelle is like the sister I've never had. She visits me once a year and I in turn visit her in London whenever I can."

Blair was in shock because as she saw the way Chuck spoke, she knew he was being honest

"Wow, you are telling the truth," she said, a bit still in disbelief.

"I guess I am. But I'm always being honest with you, Blair," he stated.

Blair nodded as she realized how wrong she was for ever doubting him. For ever considering the worst from him and not was he was really capable of.

"I'm sorry," she finally said.

Chuck placed a gentle kiss on her forehead as they lay in silence. Embracing the moment that they were together, despite how distant they were feeling toward each other. Blair knew that she loved Chuck and wanted more than anything to be with him, but the fear that was attached to being with him was what kept her away from him. Chuck, on the other hand, wanted to be with Blair and would do anything to prove that to her. Of course he had his fears. He knew that love was not something to be messed with. At the same time, he knew he felt something for Blair. He wasn't sure if it was love, but he knew it was pretty darn close because he had never felt this way about anyone until she came into his life.