Author's Note: So, this has been sitting in my files for awhile. I guess you could call it an epic poem. Thought I'd give it a shot. It leads up to the beginning of 'Witnessing It.' But, you don't need to have read any of my other stuff to get this. But you're welcome to, of course.
Let's see how this goes.
Happy reading. :)
With one last flourish of his black pen
He signed his name,
Col. Two-Bit Mathews Esquire the Third
And he laughed because it was a pretty damn fine joke
Or so he thought
Because his mother didn't really appreciate getting that letter from the principal
About how he refuses to comply
But he just shrugged because there wasn't much else they could do by this point
So he kept signing his name like that
Until he found someone worth giving his real name to
But he hadn't found that person yet
So he kept going
And when he walked by the old house he threw rocks at it
Because he has a good arm
Because the man from the house taught him how to use it
And they left that old house before the baby was born
And he left the new one a year after because
Well, no one really knows
But he left and that's what matters
Because nothing really is quite like it used to be anymore
And he signs his name
Col. Two-Bit Mathews Esquire the Third
Because he doesn't like the man's name
And he hasn't found someone worth giving it to yet
He likes how the preacher's daughter feels against his body
And he's fairly confident she likes how his feels too
And she keeps him from being so lonely when there isn't anything else to do
Or anyone else to listen
And she says,
"You're something, Two-Bit Mathews."
And he says,
"I know I am."
And she just smirks because that was the thing to do so she did it
And then continued to press herself against him and make herself known to his body
He's surprised
Very surprised
That a girl of God knows so much about spooning
Cause he thought that saintly girls didn't do that sort of thing
But apparently
They do
It kinda hurt
When the shards got stuck in there
And it hurt a lot more
When Darry had to pick them out
And it hurt the worst
When he stitched his battle wound,
Which he acquired in a bar fight,
And he's fairly proud of it
But he puts on a brave face
Because that's the thing to do
And Steve laughs as he squirms
"You're next, bud."
"No fucking shit, but I still get to enjoy the show."
So he flips him off,
But it doesn't shut him up
So he starts spewing information at him
About his evening
"You shoulda seen her! She was six foot five with muscles twice the size of Darry's, and more facial hair too I reckon. She stood back there beatin on some innocent bloke and being the brave soul I am, I stepped in and saved his ass, but not before receiving a few scars."
Steve glared
And he laughed
Because that was the thing to do
"My father knows."
He groans, putting his head in his hands
He knows
The dad does
The dad fucking knows
And that's never good
Because the dad is someone you do not fuck with
Especially when you're doing his daughter
"He can't know."
"But he does!"
"Naw. Naw, he can't."
"He does, Two-Bit! He knows! What're you plannin' on doing about it?"
Him?
Him?
He couldn't figure out how to fix this
Not ever
Not.
Ever.
He ain't wired for problem solving
It ain't in his genes
His old man made sure of that
"Don't know, Kath."
"When you figure it out, then you can come back."
He never told her about the name
He's tearing the edges of his paper
When he heard that voice for the first time
And he swears an angel has come down to earth
And he tries to remember Kathy
How when he figures it out he can go back
How they can go back to being them
But he can't resist this Raven
This Raven!
This girl!
He likes to call her that
When she walks by him on campus,
Most likely on accident,
And she rolls her eyes at the name,
Her friends too
But deep inside he thinks she likes it
And that this is the girl he'll tell
Tell her about the name
The name.
He'll give it to her
It's a big deal, but he knows it in his non-existent soul that this
This!
Is the one
That Pony
Ran
Ran
Ran
As fast as he could
Till he ran his lanky little legs to someplace else
Taking Johnny Cade along for the ride
And he knew about the fever when those legs brought him back
And his guilt complex kicks in once the kid hits the deck
And he cries into Darry's shoulder
And apologizes to Sodapop till the sun comes up
Because he's a bad buddy
And he feels they should know that
Even if they don't believe him
That night he goes home
And he thinks of the Raven
And how he's scared of how much he wants her, but knows how much better she'd make this situation
Because she's one smart cookie
With a body
A real
Body
He realizes how much he'll miss that little puppy dog of a boy and that delinquent
Because he's known them a long time
Not as long as Darry,
No,
But a long time
And that makes him cry
And he cries himself to sleep
And cries himself to sleep for several nights afterwards
She laughs at him because he's singing along to "Lay, Lady, Lay" in a spot-on impression of Bobby D.
She gets quiet when he gets to the climax
Because he means it
And she takes a step back
Far,
Far away
"You mean that?"
"I do."
Bridget is speechless, which isn't unusual for her, but this
This
Is a different kind of
Speechless.
"I meant it when I said it to you, ya know," she whispers. He notices the bit of red around the eyes
Even in the dark
And in her pink room
He realizes, too, that he means it
He does love her
And he still hasn't told her much about Kathy
Kathy doesn't know about the two of them.
But he doesn't care because Kathy never talked about what might happen after high school
Two-Bit didn't know if he was gonna marry the Raven
But he knew he could see it happening in his head and he knew she saw it too
It was when things got hard that he wanted them most
When he wanted to get into some good trouble with Dallas
When he wanted to play pinball with Johnny, who had once been the best in all of Tulsa
When he wanted to find Bridget Stevens and run away with her because sometimes, anywhere is better than
Here.
But then he and Ponyboy will go see a movie
Or Steve and Soda will laugh with him as they drive around town
Or he and Darry will go grab a beer, and it's just like before he graduated
all
over
again.
And he misses how it used to be, but he knows;
He knows,
Deep down in his non-existent soul,
That this is how things are now, and that they're better than they once were not so long ago.
And one night, in Bridget Stevens's pink bedroom,
They hear her father coming into the house.
"You need to get out of here!" She whispers urgently, in that thick eastern accent of hers.
But Two-Bit Mathews is calm.
He's calmer than he was when Kathy's dad found out.
Because now,
He has the chance to do it right.
"I'll go," he says.
He heads for the door quickly
The one that leads off her room and into the porch
And he's almost out the door when he
Stops.
"Bridget," he says. Bridget stands beside him.
"What?" She whispers, her eyes boring heavily into his.
He takes a deep breath
And braces himself
Because he can't believe it
And he says,
"The name's Keith."
"I've been thinkin, and I don't love you."
Two-Bit tells Kathy this two months before graduation,
And she can't believe it.
She can't believe him.
She can't believe Two-Bit Mathews doesn't love her
But
She's not sure exactly why he should.
So,
Instead,
She says, "I know."
Like she's known all along.
Because, really,
She has.
Kathy knows how he eyes the girl that moved to Tulsa,
The one with the black hair and the big green cow eyes and the
Living.
Opposite.
Of her.
And she's upset.
"I'm sorry," Two-Bit tells her.
He is.
He really is.
But he doesn't want to lie to either of them. Not anymore.
He spends the summer after he finally graduates in Bridget's blue convertible Beetle
And sometimes,
She lets him drive.
The wind blows through their hair,
And his is as unruly as hers,
Because greasing it is something no one does anymore.
He's let go of that part of himself, in a sense
Sure,
There are fights.
Good fights.
But she's worth more than a good fight.
So he lets long, rust-colored hair blow behind him,
the dust kicking up around them.
"I still love you," she'll tell him. And he'll nod and say,
"I believe you."
"Now you say it to me."
"I still love you."
It's almost like they're trying to convince each other of it, even though they know it's
True.
Maybe it's because they're scared.
They're young and scared.
Just like they're s'posed to be.
"I got a scholarship," she tells him one day, as they're walking through some park.
He looks at her.
"Yeah?" He asks. She nods.
"Yeah. For music, performing arts. Guess I really am good, huh?"
He's not exactly surprised.
He just knows that they're aren't any schools here she wants to go to
"So I guess that means you're leaving."
Two-Bit doesn't say it like a question.
He says it like he knows.
"Yeah, I am," she admits.
And he wants to scream.
But instead, he just rams his enclosed fist into a tree.
They spend her last days before she goes to NYC,
The Big Apple,
Having sex and driving around.
He wishes he could tell his friends more about it
How bad he's hurting
How it just won't be the same,
Just like it wasn't the same after his dad left
Or when Johnny and Dallas left
Or even when Mr. and Mrs. Curtis left
Left.
And she falls asleep on his chest, in her room.
The sun is slowly sinking and the sky is
Orange and
Red and
Pink.
And it's damp because it's rained.
The room is dark, and his chest is bare,
And it's a true southern night.
The cicadas are going full speed
And he's sticky and so is she
And he's considering grabbing a shower and calling it a night by seven-fifteen,
When he realizes that tomorrow is the last day she'll be here.
Poor, poor, Sodapop
His number came up too soon
It's not something you want as a birthday present,
Knowing you're going off to kill gooks, that is
Because that's about the time he got it
Not the day before
Not the day of
Two weeks later
But the infatuation with the fact-of being eighteen
Old enough to drive and vote,
But not legally to drink-
Still lingered
And the letter killed the party
What a Buzzkill!
So now he's standing on the front porch,
Just waiting for his.
And it's months later, close to Thanksgiving,
And he just isn't the same person as he was
At the end of August.
His little sister finally drags him in
And his mother makes him coffee,
which he takes with him as he walks away to the Curtis place
Which just isn't the same without Sodapop.
The buzz just isn't quite the same anymore.
But when he gets there,
There's Darry.
And there's Steve.
And there's Ponyboy.
And he grins at them as he comes in the front door
and they grin back.
They laugh
And they're smiling.
And someone hits his hip on the edge of the table.
It's Ponyboy.
"I'm okay!" He calls.
And Two-Bit knows that's true for
All of them.
He remembers
The morning she left.
He felt her shaking him, and heard her say,
"Good morning, Captain Dumbass."
He wasn't quite sure what she meant
Like maybe she was angry at him...?
But as he opened his eyes, he saw that she wasn't angry
She was just there
Bridget was just
There.
Smiling at him.
"G'morning," he had said back to her.
"My dad is wondering if you'd like to come with us to the bus station. To drop me off."
He thinks about it.
It's then that he realizes:
Her dad knows.
And he don't care
that Two-Bit Mathews loves his daughter.
He thinks about it
And thinks.
She looked real good then,
In the early-morning Southern sun
And she was already done up for the day
Looking real nice and ready for traveling.
Two-Bit remembered how she looked the night before,
How she was bathed in orange light and
Dusted in sweat and sweet talcum powder
And he realizes,
That's the way he wants to remember her.
He knows she'll be back in the winter,
But he wants his last image of her to be the combination
Of now-
-and then.
"I'm good," he told her. "I'll miss ya."
That's all he can manage. He clears his throat.
Bridget can manage more, though,
And she leans down
And kisses him.
When she looks at him,
Right in the eye,
She does look sad.
And she says, "I'll miss you, too. I still love you."
"I still love you, too."
He means it.
He really does.
And when he writes her,
He often signs his letters
'Two-Bit',
Or maybe even 'Captain Two-Bit Mathews.'
And then there's that one time,
When she writes him and tells him
How she does miss Tulsa,
How she was wrong a lot,
How she shoulda been good to him from the start,
How she wishes for his friends-all of them-to come home.
He thinks about it for awhile.
Thinks about the name.
About Kathy.
About Johnny and Dallas and
Running away
About hair grease and smokes and long drives
About beers with Darry.
And good times with Sodapop.
And late nights with Steve.
And traipsing around with Pony.
And he tells her that it's alright,
That he gets it,
That things will get better there,
That she's where she needs to be,
But that he'll always be here,
And plenty of others will be too,
And he signs it
'Keith.'
AN: Pardon typos. Look for more updates from me, and, as always, thank you for reading. Reviews would be great. :)