Hey, that's right I know, you all thought I was dead right? No I have just had a bad spell of writers block and bad luck. As for my Aunt that I have mentioned in previous AN's, she died on Christmas morning =/ (just thought I would update you guys on that).
Anyways here is my new story. I wanted to make Edward the vulnerable in this story. It does contain abuse and molestation, so you have been warned.
There will be lemons later on though. Please read and enjoy.
Oh and just incase you all were wondering I will be updating Shenanigans once I get some inspiration so let me know if you have any ideas for it.
"Every Day Is Exactly The Same"
I believe I can see the future Oh, no [Chorus:] I can feel their eyes are watching [Chorus] I'm writing on a little piece of paper [Chorus x2]
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do
It was barely Monday morning. Around 2:45 am. Not a light shone from the Masen household. All was quiet and still. Edward Sr. was passed out on the couch. He had fallen into one of his many drunken stoopers. Elizabeth Masen was dead, and had been for 4 years now. And last but not least Edward Masen Jr. Edward was wide awake, lying in his bed, staring into oblivion.
Edward rarely slept, and even when he did, he was plagued with horrible nightmares. Nightmares filled with horrible monsters, and ghosts from the past. But none of the monsters could even compare to the one downstairs.
Edward Masen's POV
I felt as if I had been lying in bed for an eternity. The minutes would drag by, the hours rolled passed lazily, taking their sweet time. The annoyingly bright numbers on my clock stated it was about 6:30am. I slowly sat up, ignoring the pain in my ribs and back. School started in an hour, and I might make it on time if my father was still in his comatose state from last night.
I pulled back the comforter and instantly wanted to crawl back under and hide for a few days…or weeks. I tried to push the fantasy out of my head. If only I could really do that. But staying at home would mean having to deal with my father, and that was not an option.
I let out a hiss and I stood up. All the joints in my body ached. I put the pain out of my mind and dressed for school. I was ready with in ten minutes and was out the door and off. From one pit of hell to another.
I walked into the building and into my English class. I had English first hour. I was always there early, for many reasons. To finish homework, escape my father, and just to escape all the other kids at school.
"Hey there, Edward," Mr. Molina, my English teacher, greeted as I walked in.
"Hi, Mr. Molina," was my standard reply.
I took my seat in the back and opened my Calculus text book. I began to work on the problems and before I knew it the bell was ringing and students began filing in the classroom taking their assigned seats. I ignored them and put my text book away and pulled out my copy of Wuthering Heights. Every Monday Mr. Molina would have us silent read for the hour. I had just begun to become immersed in its words when the book was wrenched from my grasp from none other than the giant oaf himself, Emmett Cullen.
"Whatchya reading, Faggot?" he asked as he held my book away from me.
"Give it back," I mumbled helplessly.
"Aww, is little Masen gonna cry if we don't give him back his girly little book?" James Dennison, Emmett's partner in crime, mocked from the other side of me.
"Just give me my fucking book back," I hissed.
"Wow, you're acting pretty tough for a guy with no balls," James said as he took his seat on my right.
Emmett took his seat on my left, my book still in his clutches. Class had started and everyone had their books open and were reading. I was just sitting in my seat awkwardly. Mr. Molina looked up from his desk to make sure everyone was reading. I put my head down hoping he wouldn't spot me, but of course, he did.
"Edward, why aren't you reading?" he asked.
I looked over at Emmett who still had my book. He gave me a look that basically said, 'if you rat me out I will tear you to shreds and hide the pieces so no one will ever find you again'.
I looked back at Mr. Molina and replied, "Oh, I forgot my book at home."
Mr. Molina shook his head.
"That's going to be 10 points off for today," he said "Go to the library and pick out a book."
I felt my face heat up as I got up and made my way to the library. James and Emmett were snickering as I left.
It wasn't fair, I thought as I roamed the shelves of books. I shouldn't be here, I should be back in class silently reading with the rest of my peers. Nothing in life seemed fair. Not since my mother died. And now I see, even before then life was cruel, just not to me.
The school day dragged on. When lunch came around, I walked into the crowded cafeteria and went to my usual table. Jasper was already sitting there waiting for me, along with Angela Webber and Ben Cheney.
Jasper Hale. My best friend. He had blonde hair, blue eyes and was about 6' 4''. He was twins with Rosalie Hale, girlfriend to Emmett Cullen, but he was nothing like her. Jasper was quiet and reserved, where his sister would jump at any chance to show off her body or talk about her expensive ass car.
"Hey man, what's going on?" Jasper greeted me as I sat down.
I just shrugged and pulled out the peanut butter sandwich I had made this morning..
Jasper's smile faltered. He knew something was wrong, I think he knew for a while, but he never questioned me about it, which was nice. Part of the reasons I was able to stay friends with Jasper was because he didn't hover.
I got home at around 3:30. My father was still at work, and even if he wasn't he would be at the bar.
I went into the kitchen and started working on homework. Around 6:00 my stomach began to growl. I quickly made a sandwich and checked the clock. 6:17. My father would be home any minute now. I hurried to clean up the kitchen before he got home, but I was not fast enough. I heard the sound of crunching gravel as he pulled his Mercedes up the drive.
A few moments later, the front door flew open and my slightly intoxicated father walked in. I grabbed my books and started to make my way to the staircase, hoping I could make it to my room unseen. No such luck there.
"And where the hell do you think you're going, boy?" my father asked.
"Up to my room, sir," I whispered back.
He just grunted and proceeded to go into the living room. Probably to watch whatever sport was on tv and drink some more, but I was not about to stick around and find out.
I was in a light sleep when I felt it. I startled awake and looked around my room. He was standing in the corner. I pulled my blankets tightly around me. He advanced upon me. I was the mouse and he was the cat, stalking his prey. He moved over to me and sat on the edge of my bed. He pried the covers away from my body and stared lustfully at my exposed chest.
"You are so beautiful, Edward," He whispered as he ran his hand down my chest and slipped it into the waist band of my boxers.
He began to stroke me and tears began to leak from my eyes. I hated my body for betraying me and responding to his touch.
"That's right Edward, feels good, doesn't it?"
No. No it didn't feel good, I wanted to say. It made me want to vomit.
He continued fondling me until I came in his hands.
I had a think sheen of sweat covering my body and tears were still running down my face.
"Good boy Ed, you came so hard for daddy, you like that don't you son?"
I squeezed my eyes tight shut, trying so hard to block out his voice. He silently cleaned me off with my bed sheet and left the room, but not before placing a soft kiss on my lips.
When he was gone I rolled over and pulled my covers over me. I hated it when he touched me. I hated it when my body betrayed me and reacted to his touch. I was disgusting. I was exactly what Emmett said I was. A fag. Honestly I would rather him beat the living shit out of me than touch me like that.
After about an hour or so of lamenting on my life I fell into a restless sleep. Trying to get some rest before tomorrow where I could look forward to repeating today over again.
Hope you guys like it. Please review and let me know. Also if you liked this story you might like my other story Truths and Roses which is now complete!
Love,
Kat