A/N: Love always, Clary

This was inspired by the film Love Rosie and PS I Love You. I'm not usually one for sappy love stuff but I was in the mood for it so I started writing this. I actually had a Malec version of something like this but I deleted it (it was called Letters from the Past if any of you guys read it).

Chapter 1: Monday 4th May, 2015

Dear Jace,

I fucking hate you.

God, I hope you know that. Simon told me that if I keep this much rage bottled up inside me I will explode and told me to write this letter and do that thing where you just don't send it. Yeah, like that'll happen, maybe I'll just send it so you'll finally stop bothering me and get the fucking hint.

"It'll make you feel better" Simon said, well he better be right because I am pretty fucking pissed at you and I don't think I can go another night crying myself to sleep. It's the only way I can cope at the moment.

Why, Jace? I thought you really loved me and then you turned around and broke my fucking heart. I gave you everything you could possibly want, was that not enough for you?

I'm sitting here on my bed trying to draw or sketch or, hell, even write something but all I can seem to think about is you, you're like a bug that's ridden my brain, I've thrown away all drawings and painting that I have ever done of you, it's too much of a reminder of you.

I'm sick of it, I'm sick of you and everything you did. I'm sick of every tiny thing that reminds me of you.

Nowadays, it looks like my algebra homework is getting more attention than my art, which is saying a lot considering it was getting zero attention any time before now. That seems to be the only thing that takes my mind off of you, it's the only thing that keeps me concentrated long enough to forget you, and then I'll just forget why I needed to forget you. I sound like a Taylor Swift song, Jesus Christ. If I keep this up I'll definitely get my grade up in this less, at least my mom will be happy about that.

I changed my walking route home from school because that ice cream shop reminds me of our first date and the swing set in the park across of it of our first kiss. It's funny how I thought once they were good memories now all I want to do is cry when I see them, that and punch you in the gut,

I'm so tired of crying over you, I want to get over you, Jace Herondale. No, I need to get over you.

I wish you would stop sending Isabelle and Alec to talk to me. I preferred Isabelle when she was angry at you and I don't know what you did to get her to be so nice to you again but I don't like it one bit. You know, I actually high fived her when she told me she punched you in the nose, I prayed that she broke it. Now she's begging me to stay in a room with you long enough to talk to me. I should've expected that since she's known you a hell of a lot longer than me.

You're not making it easy to avoid you as well, you always hang around my locker and you wait for me outside class and I don't know how many times I've had to tell you but I want it to stop. I want you to go away, that statement seems to be the only thing I can make come out of my mouth recently.

Luke, well Mr Garroway to you now, told me that you told him that you wanted to meet up with me tomorrow "to explain". I can't believe you stooped that low to make your history teacher send me a message.

Explain what, Jace?

There's so much that I want to say to you but I don't even know how to put half of them into words. Maybe this is what I get for trusting you so easily, but god I wanted you to love me so bad.

Did you even mean it? When you told me you loved me, did you actually love me or did you only tell me what I wanted to hear?

There is nothing left to be said Jace, you are ruining my life and I want it to stop.

Fuck you,

Clary

A/N: There is the first chapter, tell me what you think, this one is a little shorter since it is the first but I do have a couple of other chapters on this and I started writing this on the date at the top and I've gotten up to today's date. Do you want to see the rest of it?