It's a dark night. I think it's darker than usual... The dim streetlights don't do shit tonight, and they don't illuminate the streets like they usually do. It's raining. And when I say it's raining I don't just mean that it's drizzling. No. It's pouring down insanely much right now.

There isn't a single soul, except for myself, out on the streets. They're all inside their homes, hiding from the rain. Everything is completely quiet, except for the small sounds that the rain makes when it hits the pavement.

I walk along the empty streets of South Park, and I can't help but wonder why no one else is around... Because the rain is nice, no, it's more than nice. The rain is amazing. It's beautiful and it makes me feel calm. Most people shy away from the rain, but I embrace it instead. Tonight I walk along the streets, under my fancy, red umbrella, with no real destination. I just like the rain. That's all.

For a few moments I can escape the reality of the world, just aimlessly wandering along in the rain. I like this feeling, and for a moment I'm really happy, even though my life is actually very unsatisfying. I'm 21 years old, I live alone in a small shitty apartment and I just have a crappy job as a cashier at the grocery store. Sounds really exciting, doesn't it?

Everyone else is doing better than me in life. Kyle is in Boulder, studying at some fancy university together with Tweek who for some reason went there too... Even if he himself says that he can't handle the pressure... Butters got over his fear of tap dancing and he's now doing better than ever... Craig became a mechanic, and there's rumors about him having a thing with Clyde... I don't really know what Clyde is up to nowadays... Probably not being lame and wandering around in the rain though...

Heck, even Cartman is doing better than I am. He just recently moved away, to Denver apparently, with his fiance whom he's been with for 3 years now. It's funny isn't it? I certainly never thought that Eric Cartman would be the one of us having the best love life... But who is this girl, that actually puts up with all of Cartman's shit? Oh... You know... Just my old elementary school girlfriend... Yeah, that's right... Cartman and Wendy... Surprisingly they're doing really good together. I'm happy for them. Things kind of completely fucked up for Wendy and I when we were 12 so we broke it off pretty mutually. Also I found out that I'm actually gay about 2 years later anyway...

I actually haven't dated much since. Never found someone that I was very interested in... Well... Maybe one person... But that person was taken... And then they just disappeared, when we were 15 and I had just realized what it was that I felt for them. They just left without saying a word.

Nowadays my life is just dull. Same old, same old. Wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, go back home, eat dinner, call Kyle or Cartman to check up on them, watch TV, masturbate, go to sleep. Then repeat it all again the next day.

This night is a little different though I suppose, since it's raining. Those few times when there is actually rain instead of snow in South Park, those nights I spend outside, instead of at home watching TV. Because I love the rain. Many people would find the rain itself dull, but not me. It's so very beautiful and kinda exciting, compared to my own dull life filled with such repetitive routines.

This night I end up walking along, minding my own business, like always. But when I walk past the elementary school building I hear something, something other than the sound that the rain hitting the pavement emits. It almost sounds like a cough... I think it's coming from behind the school... Around where the goth kids hangout used to be maybe?

I stop in my tracks and I just listen. Silence. Could I have imagined it? But then I hear it again. It does sound like coughing. Huh, strange... Who the hell would be hanging around there at this time of the night?

Curiosity gets the best of me and I start to walk towards the sound. When I turn around the corner of the school I see it. Orange. I blink a few times at the bright color in front of me, that contrasts the gray, rainy environment.

Turns out that the orange color came from a jacket. An orange jacket with a hood on it. There is a person wearing that jacket, but their face isn't visible.

I stop in my tracks when I see the person. I'm a bit too loud so they notice me. The person looks up at me with big, ocean blue eyes, that also contrasts the orange jacket. It is really who I thought it was... I know this person. To me those eyes look a bit more distant than they used to but they're almost the same. There is no doubt about it.

"Kenny..." I say, from where I'm standing under my umbrella. Just when I finally thought I had stopped having this feeling... He just had to...

Kenny is sitting on the ground, a few meters away, leaning against the wall of the school building. He's absolutely drenched in the rainwater. He has a black backpack with him which lays discarded next to him.

He pulls his hood off his head when he hears me talking. His entire face is now visible, and Kenny still looks just like Kenny. He still has somewhat childlike features, and he has many small freckles upon his tanned skin. His look is completed with his self-cut, dirty, sand blond hair, that is sticking up in wild directions. The rain quickly starts to soak his hair, making it stick to his face.

Kenny still looks really beautiful. But Kenny has bags under his eyes. He looks tired and worn out, and there is something. Something about his eyes, that looks really wrong now. I don't know why, but it's something. Something that wasn't there when I last saw him.

Why is he here? Why now? Why like this? I don't know. It all seems so odd to me. Why would he suddenly appear now?

"Yo..." He says with a small smile. His voice sounds a little raspy... Kenny is not like I remember him. He looks so mellow and calm in this state. What's wrong with him? "It's been a while Stan..." He then says. He sounds so content, maybe even happy, though he looks like such a mess. Something's wrong. Something's off. Really off.

"You could say that again..." I answer. "6 years Kenny. You were gone for 6 fucking years." I almost sound bitter when I say that, and I am. I am pretty bitter. He didn't even say goodbye or anything. He never told any of us he was gonna leave... He just disappeared. We've been worried sick about him.

Apparently his so called boyfriend, who was actually more like a fuckbuddy, Craig Tucker, brutally dumped him one night. By the next morning Kenny was just gone. He disappeared. Everyone looked for him for over a month before it was concluded that Kenny McCormick had just disappeared into thin air. I don't know any more about it than that.

"Sorry about that, man..." He answers with that content looking smile and it makes me sick. He doesn't mean what he's saying. I can tell.

He's strange... He's running from something... He's trying to somehow block it out by pretending that it's fine. That he's doing good. Or maybe... Maybe he actually feels fine with this? Maybe he's actually content like this? Has his self worth really dropped to this low?

"You have anywhere to stay tonight?" I ask him carefully. I already know the answer cause it's pretty fucking obvious, but I ask anyway.

"Not really..." He tells me. "But this is pretty chill... The rain is nice." Bullshit.

I'm not so sure if Kenny is still Kenny anymore. What the hell happened?

I walk up to the boy and I stand in front of him. I move the umbrella in my hand and I place it over his head instead of my own. I can feel the rain hit me but I don't care. He raises his eyebrows a little.

"You're staying at my house tonight." I tell him firmly, leaving no room for arguing. I then reach my hand out towards him and he grabs it in his own and drags himself up from the ground. His hand is strangely cold, almost sickly so.

He throws the backpack over his shoulder and we leave. Kenny pushes away the umbrella from over his head.

"No point. I'm already soaked." He tells me. Still that content fucking voice. Why does it sound like that? "You use it... No need to get you all wet too..." I suppose he's right... I was just trying to be nice though.

"You sure?" I ask him and he nods. Our conversation then ends and we walk in silence towards my home.

We soon end up outside of my apartment. I take out the key from my pocket and I unlock the door. We walk inside and our shoes are removed.

Kenny looks around the place curiously. Though it's nothing much really. You enter into the living room/bedroom area of the house. This room is pretty cramped. I have somehow managed to fit a bed, a wardrobe, a small bookshelf, an ugly, old, dark red couch with a small table in front of it and a TV in this place, even though it's tiny. I don't understand how this all fits in here. I also have a kitchen and a small bathroom. The kitchen is pretty nice actually, and thankfully not as cramped as the other room, and the bathroom is pretty alright.

"Nice place..." Kenny states seriously when he appears in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen after his exploring. He looks at me, with those strange eyes again, while I'm sitting on the couch.

"Dude... Not really... It kinda sucks." I answer.

"It's like a million times better than most places I've been staying at lately." He tells me.

"And where exactly have you been?" I ask curiously. He owes me some fucking answers. He just left us all. He abandoned us. The others may have gotten over it but I never fucking did. I think it's cause he meant more to me... My feelings for Kenny weren't exactly just those of friendship.

"I just, you know, traveled around a bit... Ended up in Boulder at first, wasn't all that sweet... Somehow showed up in Denver, where I stayed for a while... Was pretty shit but whatever. Still had some fun times. Lately I've been hanging around North Park a lot... So I thought I'd stop by here for some old memories sake... Didn't expect it to be raining this much though..." His answer is a little too vague... Why the hell did he leave? What did he do? How did he become this fucked up? This strange? I decide to not push it too much tonight. It's probably better to leave it be. He'll talk when he's ready.

"Ah, I see..." I answer. Then I realized that his clothes are still completely soaked. "You should get out of those clothes. You'll catch a cold otherwise." I tell him as I get off the couch. I walk up to my wardrobe and open it, looking for something Kenny could wear.

"I probably already have one. But don't bother. I'm alright..." He tries to reassure me. I just continue to look through my clothes.

"No need to make the cold any worse then. And in fact... I don't want you to drench my whole apartment either." Kenny chuckles a little at that.

"Okay, man... Fine." He then chuckles some more. "You're still just the same as I remember you, Stan." That's right. I haven't changed. I'm the same. Everyone else is moving. In both good and bad directions. It seems like Kenny went in a bad direction though... But I'm standing still, and it's so dull.

At least life might get a bit more interesting now, since Kenny is here. I really hope so.

"Yeah I guess so... You aren't the same though." I answer. It comes out sounding sadder than I want it to. I continue roaming through my clothes for a bit. I have no fucking idea what to give to Kenny. I don't even fucking know what he likes to wear... Except for orange... And I don't own a single orange piece of clothing. Trust me, I look like complete shit in orange.

"I suppose not..." He says, and for a second he sounds a little unhappy. But that disappears when he continues to talk. "People change you know... I guess I just did so more than others." He has a small smile on his lips, even though I'm pretty sure that he knows that his changes were shit. I just nod.

"Pick whatever you want from my wardrobe." I tell him with a sigh before I flop down on my bed. I just lay there looking at the ceiling for a moment while Kenny looks for something to wear.

"Is this alright?" He asks after a moment and I look towards him. He's holding a black, long sleeved shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants in his hands. I nod at him.

"Sure. Just hurry and get out of those wet clothes." I tell him, and he does exactly so. He turns back around and closes the wardrobe before he starts to undress right there, with his back turned to me.

At first he just unzips his jacket and drops it on the floor. But then he peels off the white t-shirt underneath and drops it as well. I get a very nice view of his entire backside from where I lay on the bed. His back is tanned as well, and it also has the same kind of freckles on it. Most of them being in the neck and shoulder area. Kenny looks very thin, like he really hasn't been eating properly, but he still looks damn good. He seems to have got some muscle either way.

I can feel the room getting a little too hot and my pants are starting to get tight. God fucking damn it. Just from looking at his back... Seriously?

I stare at him the entire time while he's changing, savoring the moment. I swear to god, if it was not for my fear of getting caught and having to explain it then I would probably masturbate right here and now to this beautiful view. I've still got it bad for Kenny McCormick... Damn it.

After the t-shirt is gone, he removes his jeans as well. He's wearing a pair of black boxers underneath, and fuck. My now full on erection starts to ache painfully. His ass just looks flawless and I can't handle it. I'm such a loser...

Kenny quickly puts on the shirt and the sweat pants after that. I'm torn between if I should feel relieved or disappointed...

When Kenny's done he looks back at me and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. I feel a little flushed, and fuck, please don't let him notice.

He laughs a little and then I know it's just a joke on his part.

I get up, even though all I actually want to do is masturbating while thinking about Kenny and his gorgeous body. I fetch a pillow and a blanket. Kenny will be sleeping on the couch for the night.

"Want something to eat?" I then ask him. He shakes his head.

"Nah... I'd rather just get to bed." Kenny tells me, so we both do just that.

While laying there in bed, I still fight the urge to masturbate even though it's throbbing kind of painfully... After a while I wonder if Kenny is still awake... Cause I myself can't sleep for shit with a very shameful raging boner like this...

"Hey Kenny..." I say quietly. I can hear him move a little on the couch.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"You know when we were 15? Before you left?" I ask him.

"What about it?" Even now his voice still doesn't sound right...

"I was... I was in love with you back then..." I tell him honestly. I don't know why I confess this to him now of all times. Maybe it's cause I can get away with it if he doesn't like me that way... He doesn't have to know that I still feel like this. If I need to I can pretend that I just see him as a friend now, even if it hurts. He's hiding from the truth, and he's hurting deep inside, I just know it. He doesn't need to think about my silly feelings right now, he just needs some support.

"Oh... I never knew..." Kenny answers. It doesn't sound like he's mad, or grossed out, or even surprised. He just sounds a little put off and uncomfortable, like he's not sure what to say. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It was a long time ago anyway..." I say to him, even though it hurts like hell. I think my voice cracks a little. My heart aches unbearably much and I can feel my eyes starting to water. I feel unwanted and rejected. But is it really a rejection? I don't know. He said he was sorry... That must mean that he doesn't feel the same right?

Kenny mumbles out an "mhm..." and after that neither of us says another word. We both just lay there and await sleep. I think bad thought, about how Kenny could never love me, and then I start to cry for real. I silently sob into the pillow. I don't know if Kenny is awake or if he can hear me or not, but I really hope he's asleep already.

I'm really pathetic. It's been 6 years and I still can't let go. Why? Why am I so stupid...?