Author: I have no idea how long this will be, and no idea when I can start the next chapter, being I am in the middle of two already. This was just a completely random idea that I had. I hope you all enjoy the actual story to come ... whenever I get around to posting more chapters.
I am not a drag queen, nor am I a transvestite or anything else that involves dressing as a woman. And I never will. Period. Why am I mentioning this? Well, it's a rather long story—a story that does, in fact, involve me dressing as a woman, and if I had to go and do it again, I wouldn't. Trust me.
So, why, exactly, did I have to dress as a woman? It involves the Witness Protection Program. What they don't want you to know is that sometimes they can be major fuckups. Really. Take my advice and just gun down the person after you yourself. It will make life easier and save you an inhuman amount of embarrassment.
Their excuse is that a virus had gotten into their system and swapped around two alternate identities. I don't buy it one fucking bit. A fuckup is a fuckup. No excuses allowed.
The reason this happened is that I witnessed a murder next door to my house. Luckily I was the only one home and no one was hurt. The murderer broke out of prison and vowed to come back and kill me, the person who called the cops. The Witness Protection Program created alternate identities and jobs for my family and me and sent us away. The only problem is that my identity was swapped for someone else's. Therefore, while my family, well, wife and daughter, was pretty much vacationing in the freaking Bahamas, I was stuck back here as Jaykqueline Strider. And that is only the beginning.