A/N: This is a rework of an older story that I just wasn't pleased with how it was going. I lost my focus and the story just struggled. I am pleased with this version.

I only own Ally. The song is "Stay and Drown" by Finger Eleven. Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin own themselves.

Good God have I been dreaming?

This paralyzing feeling

Was I left alone? Where have you gone? Were you somewhere else just sleeping?

"Fuck" Alex gasped as he sat straight up in bed, his hair glued to his face by sweat and his body cold and shaking. "Come on, not again" he whined while breathing deeply trying to regain his composure. He kicked off the blankets that were on top of him and glanced over to the alarm clock seeing it read 3:13am.

He quietly slipped out of the bed he shared with his girlfriend Ally and made his way through the dark to the small office he made himself in the basement. He flicked on the desk light and opened the top drawer of the desk , staring at the lone content of the drawer.

"When? When should I do this?" Alex asked himself. "I just can't bring myself to do it".


But I'm passing all the days,

Through a window pane.

And as the scene would change,

I'd stay the same.

For almost a month, Alex would wake up during the middle of the night in a cold sweat and make his way downstairs to stare at the object inside the desk drawer until he felt his eyelids get heavy, close the drawer and fall asleep on the desk.

"I have to do it. I have to man up and do it. Then I can finally be happy and live my life as a complete person" he thought as he closed the desk drawer and laid his head on the desk letting sleep take him over.

The next morning Ally woke up and reached over to wrap her arm around Alex and snuggle close to him to steal body heat. Feeling that once again he wasn't there, she pulled back the covers of the bed and slipped on the robe that was sloppily thrown on the dresser. She made her way through the hallways and kitchen to the basement where she found Alex in the same spot she found him every morning for what seemed like forever.

"Alex, honey, wake up. You fell asleep at your desk again." Ally shook Alex's shoulder slightly to rouse him.

"Huh?" groggily replied Alex blinking the sleep from his eyes.

"You were sleeping on your desk again. Baby, you really need to slow down and take a break. You're going to burn yourself out" she replied gently massaging his back and shoulders.

"I'm fine honey. This is the life I choose. I have to get more bookings now to pay the bills since TNA only tapes 3 days a month and only books the Guns on one house show a month" he lied.

Ally kissed her boyfriends temple "I know, and I love you for working so hard but I just wish you would get some sleep in your own bed".

"So do I Ally. So do I" he thought.

Like clockwork that evening, Alex woke up in cold sweat and made his way to the basement office. As always, he opened the drawer and looked at the item inside. The difference tonight was that he
knew he couldn't let this go on anymore. He had to do it. He had to make the sleepless nights stop. He had to man up.


If I wait to wake you, I'll never ask you...

Alex grabbed a piece of note paper from his desk and scribbled down some words. He removed the object from its spot in the drawer and took both upstairs to his bedroom. In the darkness, he put both them down next to the pillow where Ally slept. He leaned over and gave her a light kiss on the forehead and whispered in her ear "Ally, when I met you I knew I wanted to give you the world. To make all your dreams a reality. For us to be man and wife"

Ally eyelids started to flutter open and when she saw Alex standing over her. She broke into a huge smile as she tried to wrap her arms around his neck. Alex pulled back as he looked her in the eyes and gave her a malevolent grin.


This paradise was nothing new,

But the paradise gets tired of you.

"But now Ally, now there's no hope for you and that life and no chance for us" he continued with no expression in his voice or eyes before quickly walking out of bedroom and down the hallway in the living room grabbing his keys and jacket off the couch before leaving out the front door.

Ally heard his car start and the sound of tires screeching out of the driveway and tearing down the street. She fumbled to find the light in the bedroom and looked over to see two pieces of paper lying on the pillow next to her.


A single conversation,

Stole my attention

One was a letter from Chris Sabin saying that he couldn't stop thinking about the night him and Ally shared a night together while Alex was out of town at an Indy show. He begged Ally to leave Alex and promised that if she did, he would give her the attention she deserved and not run off to any Indy show that promised him $20.


Would you take my hand?

In the deepest end

Would you stay and drown with me?

Alex had stumbled across the note that was stuffed in between the seats of his car one weekend while he was cleaning it out. He wanted to confront Ally right away about it, but remembered that Chris had a history of getting all love sick over girls before when it wasn't reciprocated. Alex instead, waited and watched Ally and Chris interact to see if Sabin was just going weird on his girlfriend like he had on many before or if Ally and Chris were really having a relationship behind his back. When he caught Ally and Sabin in a passionate kiss following a PPV, Alex got his answer.

The other piece of paper Alex left was an ominous note.


Ally,


My open eyes see everything and you see nothing.


And don't forget it.


Alex