Disclaimer: Fairy Tail and all of its characters belong to Hiro Mashima. The title and summary of this fic were inspired by the songs "Rest Calm" and "Turn Loose the Mermaids" from the Nightwish album "Imaginaerum".
Rest Calm
As gush after gush rips his body apart, Zeref cannot help but smile because finally, finally, this is happening. Finally, he is dying. After four hundred years of suffering, of meaningless existence, he can finally rest. It's almost surreal.
The eyes of his little brother are glistening with the burning truth of his actions. He has never murdered before, yet he won't stop. The kid that is no longer a kid understands the purpose of his resurrection and he intends to fulfill it. Determination is set in his brows in a manner that is so common to him. The Dark Wizard had become a threat to those he loves the most. And he will protect his guild, his family, no matter the cost. So he continues his attack, with the power that only the strongest of demons possesses, and Zeref doesn't move a single finger to defend himself.
Every shred of pain reminds him oddly of liberation, and as blood pours out of the immortal prison he calls his body, he feels his soul finally managing to escape with the crimson liquid. A strange sensation invades him: helplessness and a touch of weakness. Maybe it's his humanity returning to him? Whatever it is, he welcomes the feeling. He's crying as much as his brother, but unlike him, his tears are not of grief. No, there are tears of joy cascading his cheeks, and for the first time in centuries a truthful, wide smile finds its way across his lips.
His knees give out on him, and his lungs find difficulty in breathing. His head falls to find his hands stained with sins. He finally feels like he could actually die. But of course, he never doubted of his brother's capability. He is his best creation, after all. The kid he once knew is now standing in front of him like a the man he never had the chance to meet, and looking at him with a mixture of pity, anger, hatred, and longing. Longing? Yes, it's longing what Zeref sees in those green orbs. Perhaps Natsu remembered the good times together? Does he know that the man he's about to kill is his own elder brother? If he does, this knowledge doesn't falter his steps. He will not go back over his words.
His beloved little brother prepares himself to deliver the fatal blow, and Zeref's eyes fluttered close as he braces what's about to come. His breath is jagged and anticipatory sighs rush his lungs as life chokes out of him.
It comes faster than he thought, and at first, he doesn't quite realize that it's happening. He is dying. The attack hits his chest, and his heart tightens painfully as it gives its final pumps. His vision blurs. He can no longer see the tears on his brother's face. This is it, he guesses. Four hundred years of suffering finally coming to an end.
The light of his existence finally dimming to darkness.
He wonders what will come after this is over. Probably Hell, considering all the death and misery that he has caused in this world. Yes, if there is an afterlife, that's probably where he will go. It's not like the gods of Arkesham will allow him to end up anywhere else. He is the definition of sin itself. Death and decay had been his only companions for years. Hell is the best place for a creature like him.
His happiness suddenly halts when he realizes he will never see Mavis again. The realization hits him in the throat, clogging his windpipe, and a new pain invades him. It pours out through his eyes, turning the joyful tears into mourning beads. No, an Angel like Mavis would obviously go to Heaven, a place that was probably completely forbidden to him. Such a pure soul should never find itself besides such ugliness as his own existence. It had happened once, and the regretful result had been her destruction.
The flash of a memory crosses his mind, of a precious kiss that meant the whole world to him, followed by the biggest sorrow and self-loathing to ever invade him. The pain of the memory stems on the present moment, only contributing to make his agony worse. But that feeling is quickly brushed off by masochist glee, the wicked smile of a madman tweaking his lips. Yes, he will go to Hell and gladly accept all of its punishments. It's the least that he deserves for the worst sin he has ever committed. For taking the life of the woman he loved the most, he deserved an eternity of torment and more.
His heart stutters, its beats irregular, weak, tired. He knows he is breathing his last breaths. Darkness had taken over his eyes some seconds ago. Or had it been hours? It was difficult to tell. His body is growing numb. He can no longer feel his tongue. Or his limbs. His world has become a limbo of nothingness. No light. No sound. No feeling. Black silence is his only reality.
Has he fallen to the floor? Is his body lying on a puddle of blood? Is Natsu smiling because he defeated his greatest enemy? Or mourning the loss of his dear brother? Those are questions that don't concern him anymore. They belong to the world of the living, a world he is rapidly leaving behind. After years of slow immortality, he never imagined that dying would be so fast. His life is slipping from his grasps, and he doesn't know if he should feel happy that is finally ending or sad because another eternity of suffering is probably waiting for him.
Not seeing Mavis ever again… will be worse of a punishment than any torture he could go through in Hell. But it's what he deserves, he thinks wryly.
Light breaks through the darkness in his vision all of a sudden. As it does, he realizes he is not in the battlefield where he'd been fighting with Natsu. A beautiful graveyard is his new setting, the tombstones rising proud and elegant. He is kneeling in a shallow, cold river that crosses the area, and his wounds are all gone. Black water and pebbles flow beside him, their destiny unknown to him. Darkness has covered his surroundings with its dark cloak, but his eyes are used to it. He has always found it easier to see in the dark. The only source of light comes from the end of the river, where the sun beams. A kite flies above the grey graveyard, its shape outlined by the sun. His eyes are drawn to the thread of the kite that dances gracefully in the air against the light, and follow it until they land at the end of the river.
The light makes him squint. He wonders if this is his final judgment. If it is, then guilty is the only possible outcome. A silhouette takes shape in the horizon. A small figure with never-ending blonde hair and skin as light as the sun. For a moment, he's sure an angel has appeared in front of him and that this holy figure will sentence him to his punishment. But then, he manages to distinguish eyes as clear as crystalline lake waters and a smile as warm the summer itself.
His breath catches in his throat, and his dead heart skips a beat. Was it even possible…?
She holds a knowing smirk and stars twinkle in her eyes as she arches a brow, almost as if she was assessing him. But Zeref cannot pay attention to any of these details, because he is so overwhelmed with the fact that he is seeing her. After a whole century of barely being able to feel her presence, of only grasping the whispers of her voice, she is here, in front of him, and tears of awe join the river beneath him, because she is smiling at him. She is smiling at him with that grin of hers that could light up a whole room. Why would she smile at him? She should hate him. It was his fault that she had been cursed. She had suffered punishment of Arkesham because of him, people she hold dear had died because of him. He had been the one to kill her.
So then, why was she smiling at him so kindly?
A spark of hope dared to light up inside of the Dark Wizard. It made him feel uneasy; hope was a dreaded feeling to him. After four hundred years of losing whatever he risked to love, he had trained himself to crush any sort of expectation before it rooted inside of him and ended up hurting him. But hanging in this thread between life and death, with nothing to lose and everything to win, that tiny sparkle grew up too fast for him to handle it, and developed into a bonfire before he could stop it, burning his heart with a foreign feeling.
Could it be possible? Did he dare to hope? Could it be that maybe… perhaps… she doesn't hate him as much as he thought she did? Could she have forgiven him? Zeref scowls and his eyes lower, not finding the strength within himself to look at the hallowed figure in front of him. No, it wasn't possible. A despicable being like him deserved no mercy. No forgiveness. An eternity of punishment awaits him, and his duty is to accept it.
But… having seen her once again… has given him all the strength he needs to endure whatever torture that waits for him. He can do it, because fate has granted him the kindest of gifts. She has smiled to him once again, and he will hoard the precious sight for the rest of eternity.
He is so overwhelmed with this reality that he doesn't notice Mavis floating to him until she's right in front of him. He yelps when her face inches closer to his, but the weight of his sins lowers his gaze, not deeming himself worthy of looking at such a holy angel. She sighs at his shyness.
"Silly boy. You always liked to sulk, didn't you?" she breathed with a laugh, and the sound is the sweetest music he has heard in a long time. "Do you really think I'm going to let you go to Hell?"
His brows furrow in confusion, but he still doesn't dare to look at her. She sighs above him and cradles his face in her calloused fingers. He marvels at her touch and has the resist the urge to lean into it. He is glad that even in the afterlife, her hands are still the same; rough and scarred from exploring where she shouldn't and touching what's beyond her reach.
"Once, you taught me the ways of the dark. Now, I'll show you the path of the light." She lifts his face and forces him to look at her. He swears he will go blind. She's too bright, too pure for his eyes that are so use to the darkness. It hurts him. He can feel his eyes physically hurting, his pupils shrinking, his lids burning.
He cries out and his hands shield his watering eyes. He cannot stand it. The light will destroy him. But she's there to take his hands away, and once his gaze fixes on her smile, he finds impossible to close his lids. He's trapped in her spell, like a moth flying to its own shiny oblivion.
Her lips part open, and when she speaks it's almost like she is singing a powerful lullaby. "Pitiful creature of the dark, you have roamed without course for too long. It's time for you to face your sins. Let the light enter you, fill you. Let the First Magic heal you. Let It destroy you, undo you, so that It can rebuild you and redeem you. Fairy Love!"
Her magic slips into him, like water finding its way through every crack of a marble statue. The pain is beyond imagination, far worse than what he felt when Natsu killed him. In that moment it had been his physical body suffering his destruction. Right now, it feels like his very soul is cracking apart, crushing down all the sins that weigh in his back, fraying the cloak of his very existence. He screams and fights. It hurts. It hurts so much. He won't survive this. He's sure of it.
He grapples and screams, but it's no use; her hands are firm and she won't let him go. The light is too bright for him to handle. He's scared. He's scared of coming out of the dark. It was such a secure place, cold and alone. Her Love burns him, strips him from his armour, and he feels vulnerable in front of her. Naked. Ugly.
"Mavis!" The cry leaves him like the prayer of a desperate drowning man. He's gone enough to forget that such a sacred name shouldn't be in the lips of a devil like him.
"It's okay," she hushes tenderly in his ear, like a gentle breeze in the middle of a hurricane. "I'm holding you. Trust me. Let go."
Somehow, her words reach through the maze of pain he's lost in. They guide him out, like Ariadna's thread, bringing him back to sanity, because if there's one thing he will always be sure of, is that he trusts her. So he holds to them like a lifeline in the middle of a sea storm and obeys her commandment. He lets go. He stops fighting and lets the light destroy everything that he is, until there's nothing more left than the humble body of a man that has lived for too long, stripped from all of his pride and evilness. The penitent soul of a pathetic sinner kneeling in front of the greatness of a forgiver Angel.
But her eyes hold no judgment, and her caress is tender. Black, abused eyes rise to meet magnanimous green orbs. Her hand travels through his hair, soothing the fire that has been consuming him until now. Shame and regret gather in his eyes, but she wipes his tears away with her thumbs.
When the pain finally goes away, Zeref feels like he has died and been reborn all over again. He partly realizes that his clothes are gone and the light has chased away all the darkness that had surrounded him moments ago. He feels weak. He cannot hold himself. Boneless, he falls and he's sure he will crash with the river below him. But his Angel is there to catch him and cradle him. She embraces him with the tenderness of a mother protecting her child and allows his head rest on her bosom. She kisses his pain away, and for the first time since he'd been cursed, Zeref feels something that resembles peace.
He wants to sleep. He's so tired. But he forces his eyes open one last time to look at the magnificent Angel in front of him, no longer with fear, but with loving awe and gratitude.
She's smiling at him, but that's not a surprise, is it? She's the incarnation of joy and love itself. And her smile is enough to give him the courage to touch her once again. His fingertips flutter over her cheekbones and she closes her crystalline orbs to sigh in satisfaction.
He cannot help the simple question that comes out of his mouth.
"How?"
She doesn't need to open her eyes to answer him. The answer is as clear as the river that flows beneath them.
"Everybody deserves forgiveness if they truly regret their actions".
His gaze is sad and his smile, melancholic.
"I don't think someone like me does, Mavis".
Now her eyes shot open with a reprimanding scowl.
"Hey, hey! No more sulking, please. There's an afterlife waiting for us." She stands up and offers him her hand. Zeref doubts if he should take it. But when his head drops once again, he notices that his hands are stainless. His surprised eyes snap up to her, and discover a mischievous smirk. The air leaves his lungs in a rapid rush, understanding that the impossible has happened, and that new gates await open for him.
His gaze wanders to the horizon, where sun is still shining and the kite flying. He doesn't know what awaits him at the end of the river. But the knowledge that Mavis will be by his side chases his doubts away, and he grasps her hand firmly, with a dauntless smile.
"Together."
Author's note: This work was written for the Zervis Week, Day 7: Afterlife. If you have time, go and check other art works in tumblr!