Chapter 1: Haruhi's fujoshi side.

Hello everyone. This is the first "serious" fanfic that I wrote, about 2 years ago, and as I promised some time ago, I finally dared to translate it, of course with Rikahi 's help, with which the translation surely couldn't have been possible.

I decided to start writing Itsukyon because I didn't find almost anything about them and because it's my OTP, of course. I will continue writing stories according to the imagination and the inspiration I have xD

The title of the fanfic is a tribute to one of my favourite Kuromorry's doujinshis: "Want to sleep on your side", which I recomend reading.

I also changed many sentences of the original fanfic to suit it to the translation, because, when reading it again, I found many beginner mistakes.

Warnings: This fanfic contains spoilers of the anime "The melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" and the film "The disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya".

Disclaimer: The characters of the anime and the film of Haruhi Suzumiya belong to Nagaru Tanigawa.

Fanfic info: Italic type corresponds to Kyon's internal thoughts, as well as telephone calls made from the other line of the phone.

—Kyon-kuuun! Wake up! Mom has already prepared your breakfast!

A thud was heard, and, like every morning, Kyon was wrapped in his sheets and lying on the floor because of his little sister.

I don't know why my mother would buy me the alarm clock; my sister is much more effective. She could wake up a dead person if she wanted.

—Shami also has ready its breakfast! The breakfast of Shami, Shami, Shami~! —The sister sang as she took the cat on her arms, which always slept on Kyon's bed, and left the room towards the kitchen.

I wonder if, at her age, I also had that energy… To tell the truth, I highly doubt it. He thought, shortly before muttering "How cold…", and snuggling under the sheets, still on the ground.

I always meet Taniguchi on my way to school, and I found it weird not to coincide with him this time.

I wondered to myself what would have happened to that pervert as I followed my way through that damn hill, with a hellish cold. I hated this hill, and I hated it even more since the day that Haruhi forced me to carry that heavy heater through here. Luckily, it only remained one year of high school, and after that I would get rid of this damn street forever.

After fifteen minutes, Kyon arrived to his destination. When he reached the locker, he found that Taniguchi wasn't there either, although the other boy didn't take too long to welcome him with a hit on the back, too enthusiastically to his regret, which caused him a leap at being still half asleep.

—Heeeey, Kyon! —Taniguchi shouted—. Guess what I just bought! You'll not believe it! —The boy kept talking in a loud tone, something that bothered some people around them, who started to go to their classrooms.

Don't shout idiot. Don't you see that I'm right here?

—Is that you don't know how to talk in a normal tone? —Kyon complained.

—Huh? C'mon, don't be like that! I bought somethin' sooo cool! —A perverse grin spread across Taniguchi's face, which made the other drove back with a disgust face.

He feared the worst. Coming from Taniguchi, and with that perverted face he was making, it only could mean that…

—Look! —The other boy shouted again, putting abruptly a few centimetres from Kyon's face what looked like a magazine.

But it wasn't a normal magazine; the difference was that in that magazine's cover appeared a girl who was wearing next to nothing.

—Wait, what've you…? —At that moment, Kyon couldn't believe what he was watching.

Don't tell me that this is one of those magazines… Wait, of course that's one of those magazines, and the damn degenerated dares to bring it here! But what is what this idiot thinking?

—Isn't it great? —Taniguchi remained with that grimace implanted on his face, something that was bothering Kyon a lot.

—On the way to here I decided to change the usual route and, by whims of fate, I came across a manga store, but they weren't simple mangas; the eighty percent of them were ecchi and hentai! —His depraved face increased significantly in saying this.

Is my impression or is this guy every passing year more perverted? Well, more like every passing day, anyway…

—Don't worry Kyon! I can provide it to you if you wanna, but give it back to me as soon as possible, because these girls are only mine.

I don't know why I would even ask… Now what the hell is he doing? Is he embracing the magazine?

—Oh, by the way… —Taniguchi left his mental state of perversion and ceased to embrace his magazine, giving Kyon another one, somewhat less thick than the last. In it, there were two guys in a loving way on the cover. And above them it seemed to be written something like "Yaoi".

Please tell me that that isn't what I think it's…

—They gave me this at buying the girls' one. I'm not interested in watching two guys intimating, so here you go —Taniguchi said, and let the other boy carrying with the magazine.

—And do you think I like this? Are you an idiot? —Kyon wrinkled his nose at looking more closely at the cover.

—I dunno, man. Give it to your sister, most of the girls like those things, right?

—My sister is twelve years old, I'm not gonna give this to her —Kyon said, waving the magazine in front of Taniguchi.

—Fujoshis begin at that age, don't they? I dunno.

—Sincerely, I hope no —Kyon frowned in disgust.

Surely you started seeing hentai at that age. Knowing you, it's most likely.

At that moment, the bell rang suddenly. Taniguchi emerged from his cloud of hentai and scantily clad girls quickly keeping the magazine in his backpack.

—…Well, I think it's time to go to class —He yawned, and without saying more, climbed the stairs, slowly and awkwardly.

Kyon scowled at him as he left. He was more than used to Taniguchi being a pervert who was always glancing at the girls or whistling them rude things as if he were a dirty old man. But these last few years, he had discovered the wonderful world of adult magazines. Indeed, he occasionally showed them to him as if nothing, and this was the first time he brought one of them to school. And now because of his whims, he had to make him carry a yaoi magazine.

"Now, what do I do with this?" Kyon thought while he looked at the magazine, pocketing it and climbing the stairs in a hurry, with no time to think of something.

When I arrived to class, I sighed in relief at seeing that the teacher hadn't arrived yet. Taniguchi was already in his place, reading the magazine he had bought with Kunikida. Damn couple of perverts.

And, as always, I found Haruhi sitting on her place, staring off into space, arms crossed and a smirk on her face. Although, I didn't know if the smirk was similar to the satisfaction of wanting to do something that wouldn't affect humanity, or more like what a psychopath feels at burying some corpses in a field. I couldn't tell right now.

Knowing that Christmas is coming, (although we are still at December 1), and she has been very busy lately, I fear the worst…

—Kyon! —The girl shouted at seeing him, grabbing his jacket collar immediately after sitting.

—What? —He growled—. Stop grabbing me in that way, you'll make me fall.

Haruhi snorted and released him suddenly, causing him to fall forward.

—Nevermind, I have no time for your complaints. Today after classes we have to go immediately to the meeting club. I have a great list of activities that I want us to do these holidays —The successful/psychopath smile was present again on her face.

On the contrary, Kyon's displeasure face was remarkable.

—What's with that look? —She frowned—. I don't care whether you like it or not, we have done it for two years since we formed the brigade, so we'll do it anyway.

After saying that, she crossed her arms, so there was nothing more to discuss with her. All we can do now is getting in a sweat.

—By the way, what you got there? —Haruhi's severe look disappeared to look curiously what the boy had in his pocket—. Let me see!

With skill, the girl managed to snatch the magazine from his pocket, which he kept carefully to, surely, get rid of it later.

—Oh… —The leader stared at the cover—. I didn't know you liked such things —She said, giving him a mischievous look.

—How do you think I like that!? —Kyon shouted, noticing shortly later that his classmates were glaring at him, and toning down his voice, embarrassed—. …It's not even mine; the idiot of Taniguchi gave it to me because he didn't want it. I didn't know what to do with it and I kept it.

—I see… —The malicious look remained on Haruhi's face—. Anyway, if you don't like these things, won't you mind me that I keep it? Lately I'm reading yaoi and I find it interesting.

Haruhi reading yaoi? The end of the world is near.

—Keep it, I'm not interested —Kyon said without giving much importance.

—Great! —The girl exclaimed, sitting in her place and starting to read the magazine with interest.

At that time, the teacher appeared and the class started. Kyon looked daggers at Haruhi, who was still reading without paying attention to anything else.

Although she were immerse in the yaoi story of the magazine, he knew she could do her homework without problems, including exams and get good grades. It was always like that since he knew her.

I wonder why the distribution of intelligence is so unbalanced among some people.

Kyon sighed and continued to pay heed to the class.

After classes, as always, the yellow-ribbon leader dragged Kyon to the meeting club. He was used to end up that way, since she was too quick so that he could get rid of her grab.

When arriving to the club, Haruhi got noticed, rare for her, slamming to open the door. I don't know how she hadn't broken it yet. And as always, she made the sweet Asahina give a small jump. Her loveliness increases over the years.

Asahina-san was still honouring me with her beautiful presence, as she had to stay another year at North High. She should be in college, indeed, since she's a year older than us, but she was ordered to continue monitoring the "great" Haruhi Suzumiya closely by her superiors. Of course, she had to invent the excuse that she couldn't pass the entrance exam and had to repeat the year again, so that Haruhi didn't suspect. Poor Asahina, having to lose one year of college to monitor this girl…

On the other hand, Koizumi was smiling like an idiot, and Nagato was sitting next to the window, reading a book, as usual.

Haruhi walked to her place in the main computer of the class, and placed her hands on her hips to start talking.

—Well, listen all! —She began—. I have a list of great things to do this month and probably the next one. They will be winter activities and this year will be special and of course, fantastic, as always.

—And what's so special? We've been doing it for over two years in winter —Kyon complained.

The leader gave him a stern look and replied with the same energy.

—Stupid Kyon! This year the brigade's winter activities are special because there are three months left to graduate! Don't you realize we graduate in March? We must take advantage of that time to do great things!

Oh, God…

—So we must look for special activities for this winter, like ice-skating or something like that! —She exclaimed.

—Ah! —Mikuru gave a little gasp at that comment—. B-but Suzumiya-san, I… I'm not really good at that sort of thing… —The red-haired girl hesitated.

—Come on, don't be shy, Mikuru-chan! You'll see that you'll have fun! Wouldn't it be funny, Koizumi-kun? Yuki-chan? —The leader asked, awaiting approval.

—That's it —Koizumi replied, with a smile on his face.

—Yes —The alien replied then, without looking up from the book.

A look of concern appeared on Mikuru's face at hearing those words, but Haruhi didn't give it more importance.

Kyon also scowled at her, but she neither seemed to notice this fact.

—Well! And with that said… —The leader glanced at all of them, but ended up laying her eyes on the brigade's poor boy—. Kyon, you'll be in charge of finding funny places for our winter activities!

—What? You don't even know what you want to do, you just talked about ice skating.

—Anyway, look for more stuff, like festivals or whatever! And start now! I don't want you to leave until you have found something good.

Kyon would have answered, "You can't keep me here until so late, my family and I had planned to visit a light festival which is near here", but he knew that if he said that, he was at risk of being sentenced to death by the dictator Haruhi, and even more, to double punishment, for having concealed her about the festival.

He sighed and, without choice, went to the computer to find places that could be "interesting" for the brigade leader, under the watchful eyes and tireless orders of the girl.

When Haruhi decided it was late (for her), she went to her house, followed later by Mikuru, Yuki and Koizumi. Of course, she forced Kyon to stay, at least until he found a good place where they could go skating.

When he finally went out, the high school wasn't closed yet, since some students always stay late to study. In any case, it was too late for that his parents and his sister were waiting for him to go to the festival.

The night fell on the city and the lights illuminated the streets.

I buried my face even more on the scarf to feel the least cold possible. My face was like an ice cube about to break, although I wouldn't want to check this.

My hands were even more frozen than my face, so I squeezed them strongly inside my pockets. I hated having cold hands. Shit, I've been needing gloves for a long time. Damn Haruhi.

The wind was particularly cold tonight, and I don't know why, but a bad feeling began to invade me suddenly.

I got home at eight o'clock in the afternoon, and of course, there was no one except Shamisen, who received me rubbing its back against my trousers. I suppose that they thought that I wasn't going with them and they went without me.

I found a note from my mother in the kitchen. She always left me notes everywhere in the house when she was going somewhere. It said:

"Kyon-kun, your father, your sister and I will be in the festival near here in Amagasaki, don't wait awake for us, we would dinner here. I left your dinner ready, just heat it up. There are instant noodles if you want. I suppose that with 17 years old, you're already old enough to come with us everywhere.

Take care.

Love, mom.

P.S.: Go to bed early, that later you can't wake up even with a nuclear bomb, and by that I mean your sister.

P.S.2: Kyon-kun, your sister also loves you!"

The latter postscript was written in a more childish handwriting.

It's funny that my mother treated me like an adult for some things and then told me to go to bed early. But, all in all, they're mothers' things.

I was going to have dinner when, suddenly, the home phone rang. I don't know who it could be at this hour. I guess it was my mother, to tell me something she forgot in the letter.

—Good evening. I'm talking with ***** *****?

As soon as I heard my name instead of "Kyon", I knew something was wrong.

—Are you familiar of *****? Please respond —The female voice said on the other side, insistently.

—…Yeah, is something wrong?

—I call from the Amagasaki provincial hospital. Don't be nervous, but I'm afraid that your family has suffered a traffic accident. The road on which the car circulated was frozen and it lost control.

As soon as I heard that, my vision blurred. I don't know why, but I couldn't see clearly. It was like a feeling I had a while ago.

The nurse on the other side of the phone was still talking, but I couldn't hear anything, only incomprehensible sounds.

The phone slipped out of my hand and remained hung as I stood there, staring into space.

—This… must be a nightmare —His voice shook.

Nagato, tell me that you've changed the world for the second time and I'm trapped again, or even that it's you, Haruhi, although that fact is even worse. Tell me I'm in a nightmare. Please…

And so far, the first chapter. I hope you liked it!

I will appreciate constructive criticism, as this is the first fanfic I wrote and that I translate into English now. Sorry for the mistakes that this two circumstances may cause.

I'm waiting for you in the next chapters!