A Life With Music Chapter 1: Cry by Rihanna, a fullmetal alchemist fanfic

Hey so this is a shuffle collection of drabbles; pretty much I'm using my Itunes shuffle to chose either five or ten songs to use as songfics :D

It'll be fun, I guarantee.

Anyway, so I've decided to do RoyEd as my couple(All the way through), because it is a totally cute pairing(and I may be slightly obsessed with it at the moment... ^^'')

I love reviewers because they're awesome people who care about my mental health. I will be mentally crushed if I get zero reviews and may never write this pairing again. ...I lie; I probably would write this pairing again anyway :P

Anyway, lets get started!

Song One: Cry by Rihanna (O.o Damn my short time liking of this song)

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
'cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

Roy Mustang, the flame alchemist had extinguished. Never in his life had he felt so miserable, so desolate, so alone. Every second it got worst, every second thinking of him. He who left. He who can never return.

Never had he felt this way before; he'd never been in love. He went through females like underwear; one a day, maybe seeing them again a couple of weeks later. His longest relationship was just over a week.

He was a sex god before; a smouldering gaze which attracted women like moths to a lamp. His gaze had won the hearts of lady near and far, but it never got more than that. The words 'I love you' had slipped too many times from his mouth to count, but that was all they were. Meaningless lies to woo the girl that slipped time and time again. Too many times had the words been said back.

My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Then it happened and his mind exploded with joy, relief but also pain, guilt and sadness. Not to mention the foreign uncertainty and self-disgust.

He'd fallen in love with a boy. A teenage boy.

Roy Mustang, sex god and womaniser had fallen for one cute, short tempered, hot, small blond -his name would not be thought of-. Someone who could easily pass as his son if they had looked more alike.

And at first he had brimmed with self disgust; he had turned into a gay paedophile. Someone who, in his mind, took advantage of the younger citizens of the same gender. Then a mixture of uncertainty, joy and relief; he had found his true love, someone he could share his life with and love every minute! ...But also someone who could brake his heart within less than a minute.

The pain came within the minute he had left for where he was going to die. He knew that he was sending his secret love off to his death and he knew it was all his fault. He had gone to Resembool and convinced the injured child to come and visit him and then, to take the State Alchemist test...

His fault, all his fault.

As he thought about it, about him, thousands of needles stabbed through his lost heart, piercing, ripping and scarring the mangle of emotions.

He hadn't cried, laughed, loved or done anything since that day he found out the news. His beloved was gone, and Alphonse's body had been restored. If you looked at the facts, something Roy hadn't needed to do to know the outcome, it was easy to tell what had happened. The one Roy loved had been wounded, which is why in the debris of the ancient building where they found Al near there was stains of deep red-brown that could have only belonged to him. He had been fatally wounded and as a last act he had swapped his dieing body for Al's body, which is why although there is blood there is no body. No concrete body to mourn after, no solid evidence he was gone, but even though there was no body, there was still a mourning of loss and the loss of someone dear. The loss of two dear people, because they had lost Roy with the cheeky blonde prodigy.

Did it happen when we first kissed?
'cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I should've never let you hold me baby
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Can't figure out how you stole my heart

One drunken party had started it off; started the whole love feeling off. They were celebrating -what, he can't remember- with beer and a trip to the bar. The short-tempered blonde wasn't legally allowed, but Hughes made him come anyway.

It was a bet between Hughes and Roy; a simple exchange of words.

"I think your charms are rubbing off, Roy, not a single woman has looked at you all night! They seem interested in shorty though." Hughes comment had seemed innocent at first glance. A simple insult which fired up the already drunk prodigy because of his off-hand adjective.

"I can get anyone in here, Hughes, and you know it!" He shouldn't have used the word 'anyone'. He would have been saved from this ongoing feeling of excruciating pain and depression by using the word 'woman' or 'female' or something of that kind. But Hughes had seen his mistake and used it. A single sentence was all Hughes needed to trick him.

"Fine, I bet you couldn't get someone in here- I'll tell you who if you agree to the bet. If you agree and go through with it, I'll give you half my military earnings for three months. If you lose, you have to have Elysia as the military flag when you are Fuhrer!" A simple bet between friends led to this pain. He had money piled up in his account. He wasn't using it.

"I can get anyone, I'm in!" A mischievous grin swept across the slightly drunk face of Maes. A bad grin. Roy saw Hughes lips move in the memory, but he couldn't bare to hear the name. Not now, it would tear him apart.

He'd kissed the blonde, and he knew when he remembered the memory that next morning, when the blonde barged in demanding what had happened last night. Luckily, Roy was the only person who remembered the kiss, but it was and is too much. The feel of his inexperienced lips, the taste -that taste- of him, the scent of his golden locks, the feel of one lean arm, one metal arm clutching his neck... He couldn't deal and every second of remembrance stabbed again and again until scars on scars covered scars. It was driving him crazy from the first day they found Alphonse, and he shut down. He broke. Not a tear escaped his ebony eyes because there was nothing. He pondered again how it had happened, how a simple kiss had led to this, but it came up with more jabs of a sharp pain.

No matter how hard he tried to forget, even after shutting down, he couldn't. He saw him everywhere. In his office, walking down the road, yelling in the corridor, everywhere had him. Everywhere reminded him of his loss. And it broke him and tore at him until he was sent away.

The fuhrer decided to send him to a far off look out spot. It snowed and blizzards came and went and Roy heard nothing. Not the crackle of the fire, not the raging winds outside.

How did I get here with you, I'll never know?
I never meant to let it get so, personal
After all I tried to do, stay away from loving you
I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

He was there, but he couldn't see the heart broken man he had left behind. It was hallucinations, but he wasn't in the small cabin. He was in Roy's head now instead of all over the room. Roy was sure the blond had never been anywhere near the hut he resided in, but that didn't stop his mind wandering again and again to the burning wound that covered his heart.

There were no tears that gorgeous boy could had seen. He wasn't here to see anything, even if there was tears. He wasn't here to tell Roy off for moping, he wasn't here to call him bastard. He wasn't here to figure out Roy loved him.

This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

And slowly, the desolate man continues to diminish and soon he will be completely gone. The empty, cold shell will be nothing like the blazing fire that was Roy Mustang only one year ago and if that blond that plagued that same man's thoughts came back too late, he would not find his commanding officer. He would find an empty mannequin.

All my life...

When that blond does come back, another year had passed as the dwindling fire in the north continued to quiver, he relights the candle of Roy's heart and pulls the man on his feet. He'd never have to see Roy cry.

I'm so sorry for starting another fanfiction Dx ... okay, so I'm not that much, but I really do need to update my other stories.

There will be more chapters(duh) with the same pairing(otherwise I wouldn't have said this at the start) and you should want to read them(so put the story in your alerts section please!)

Normally, I wouldn't have used this song. But it came up and skipping it would be cheating. So I used a song that is defiantly not on my favourites.

You must tell me if you see mistakes! Please?

I really love reviews- they really make my day. Will you make my day by reviewing?

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or it's characters. Or the hut this where Roy is. Bleh.

Hope you enjoyed :D

LixxyChan xx