Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sue me, and you get hitched with Elrond AND all
his angst for life. Oh, and a pair of old socks.
starting up. subject ZERO
I'm sitting here; relatively quiet by myself in the soothing blue glow that basks this room and the table I sit at. I'm contemplating how I ended up here. I'm asking myself why I'm sitting here, by myself, contemplating even as I sit there HOW I came to be here at this very moment in time and space, to be hunched over a slice of layered cake.
I have my fork in hand. I want to taste the cake, feel the crumbs become velvet on my tongue and choke it down.
Maybe I should have grabbed a glass of milk.
And yet, I don't want to disturb this piece of cake. I know if I do, that the cake's layers would be no longer in its layered condition. I'll eventually get to last layer, because I'm just the kind of guy that eats my layered cake layer by layer.
The last layer of this triangular piece of edible particles bunched up together.
I hate it.
Setting my fork down, I lean back on my chair. I run my hands through my hair and wonder. How could I, a complex human being, be so similar to this simple food item that I would've gorged down any other given day.
I, Zero, am like this cake.
I have layers.
The others, they think they know me? They know nothing. Nothing. NOTHING.
What am I doing here? WHAT AM I DOING HERE?
I push the plate and fork away and collapse on the table.
I swiftly brushed tears away from my cheeks.
I don't cry. That layer came and went a long time ago.
end Zero
starting.file HIEAD
I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of being a failure.
This fear eats away at me like a cancerous tumor. It consumes me.
It breathes life into my fury, my anger, and this endless tirade to be the BEST.
I'll win.
I'll win at any cost. You CAN'T beat me. Ever. Remember that.
The price of failure, the result that derives from it. I know. It leads to nothing but pain and suffering.
So to ride above that, you must be the Best, Hiead. Always the best. Don't take anything less.
And Zero, for all your flippancy, your incompetence, your idiocy. I have none of it! SO I WILL BE THE BEST, I WILL WIN AND YOU?! YOU will LOSE!
I'm so tired.
Make the pain go away. Make the anger go away. Make the rage go away.
I have a wish.
I want to be loved.
HIEAD close. Subject unavailable
finding.CLAY
There's no sense of purpose in my life.
I want to pursue knowledge. I have the knowledge.
There's a stand off in my life. This knowledge that I have, I cannot USE it.
I am not as foolish as the others may believe me to be. I know that I lack that sense of mechanical instinct in fighting. I want to use and apply this vast knowledge I know I HAVE but.
I wonder.
I wonder if any of the other candidates. Do they wonder what will they make of their life if they were not chosen? Should they fail?
It's very illogical, this war.
Perhaps, just by being here. I am taking a wrong turn.
Very interesting.
subject asleep. End program?
TBC
starting up. subject ZERO
I'm sitting here; relatively quiet by myself in the soothing blue glow that basks this room and the table I sit at. I'm contemplating how I ended up here. I'm asking myself why I'm sitting here, by myself, contemplating even as I sit there HOW I came to be here at this very moment in time and space, to be hunched over a slice of layered cake.
I have my fork in hand. I want to taste the cake, feel the crumbs become velvet on my tongue and choke it down.
Maybe I should have grabbed a glass of milk.
And yet, I don't want to disturb this piece of cake. I know if I do, that the cake's layers would be no longer in its layered condition. I'll eventually get to last layer, because I'm just the kind of guy that eats my layered cake layer by layer.
The last layer of this triangular piece of edible particles bunched up together.
I hate it.
Setting my fork down, I lean back on my chair. I run my hands through my hair and wonder. How could I, a complex human being, be so similar to this simple food item that I would've gorged down any other given day.
I, Zero, am like this cake.
I have layers.
The others, they think they know me? They know nothing. Nothing. NOTHING.
What am I doing here? WHAT AM I DOING HERE?
I push the plate and fork away and collapse on the table.
I swiftly brushed tears away from my cheeks.
I don't cry. That layer came and went a long time ago.
end Zero
starting.file HIEAD
I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of being a failure.
This fear eats away at me like a cancerous tumor. It consumes me.
It breathes life into my fury, my anger, and this endless tirade to be the BEST.
I'll win.
I'll win at any cost. You CAN'T beat me. Ever. Remember that.
The price of failure, the result that derives from it. I know. It leads to nothing but pain and suffering.
So to ride above that, you must be the Best, Hiead. Always the best. Don't take anything less.
And Zero, for all your flippancy, your incompetence, your idiocy. I have none of it! SO I WILL BE THE BEST, I WILL WIN AND YOU?! YOU will LOSE!
I'm so tired.
Make the pain go away. Make the anger go away. Make the rage go away.
I have a wish.
I want to be loved.
HIEAD close. Subject unavailable
finding.CLAY
There's no sense of purpose in my life.
I want to pursue knowledge. I have the knowledge.
There's a stand off in my life. This knowledge that I have, I cannot USE it.
I am not as foolish as the others may believe me to be. I know that I lack that sense of mechanical instinct in fighting. I want to use and apply this vast knowledge I know I HAVE but.
I wonder.
I wonder if any of the other candidates. Do they wonder what will they make of their life if they were not chosen? Should they fail?
It's very illogical, this war.
Perhaps, just by being here. I am taking a wrong turn.
Very interesting.
subject asleep. End program?
TBC