The Seishi-a
Okay, in this fanfic I turn six of the seishi into girls and do some odd pairing. Expect insanity and improbability. Someone gave me a nice shiny chocolate bar filled with caramel today!!!
Seishi who become girls:
Tasuki
Chichiri
Nuriko
Nakago
Suboshi
Ashitare
Pairings:
Nuri-Hoto
Tasuki-Kouji
Nakago-Tomo
Ashitare-Random wolf
Chichiri-Mitsukake
Suboshi-Amiboshi (:AN. They ain't related anymore. If I can make Suboshi a girl, I can make them not be brother and sister/brother. Heheh. This should be interesting . . .)
Chapter 1: The Transformation
The (Suzaku) seishi were all kind of sitting around when suddenly the fire glowed bright red and there was a clap of thunder, followed by a burst of lightening, the way it always does in those fakey annoying staged movies. But it all went away soon, and they relaxed again. Then three of them screamed. Two fainted, but the third jumped up yelling with joy.
"Hoto-saaaaamaaaaa, I'm a giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl!!!!!"
Hotohori stared. Nuriko was indeed a girl. (No hentai thoughts, please!) His, er, her long purple hair was curved around her delicate features.
"Hoto-sama!" She dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms round him. "Now I can be with you!"
"Nuri?" managed Tamahome, staring at her.
"Yes! But you should call me Kourin now!"
"O-O-Okay."
Kourin stared happily around. "Thank you, O Suzaku, or whichever god did this!"
"Easy for ya ta say!" came a slightly familiar female voice.
"T-Tasuki?"
"Yeah? Hell, I am just mad!" The irate seishi glared at Tama, her amber eyes glowing. Tama whistled. Both Miaka and Tasuki hit him at the same time. "Oww!" he moaned.
"Serves you right!"
It was obvious that Tasuki was not happy with her new, uh, form, so they left her alone. Meanwhile Chichiri woke up, rubbing his head. "Oww no da, I hit my head." Suddenly he froze. "There is something really wrong with my voice no da." When he, er, she realized what the problem was, she fainted again. Mitsukake tried to revive her.
At the same time, two of the Seiryuu seishi experienced the same lightning thing. They too, ignored it, thinking it was Soi. Then one of the look-alikes (:AN. Look-alikes, not twins) screamed.
"What is wrong?" said Amiboshi.
"Look at me!" cried the green-haired seishi. Amiboshi turned his head on one side.
"You've lost some weight."
"Baka! Listen to my voice!!"
"It sounds different."
"Yes! Exactly!"
Amiboshi looked at Suboshi. His jacket stuck out in front, and his eyes had longer lashes. His body was shaped differently.
"Um, Suboshi, you look strange . . .oh my Seiryuu!!! You're a girl!!!"
"Yes, I am!!" She began crying. "I don't wanna be a girl!!!"
Since the two seishi had always been close friends and helped each other, Amiboshi saw no reason that this should destroy that bond. He put his arms around her and patted her back comfortingly. "It'll be okay. Don't worry, Su-chan."
She sniffled. "You can't call me Su-chan anymore. I need a new name."
"Why can't I still call you Suboshi? You are, really."
"But, but, I CAN'T let Yui-sama know it's me like this. Please understand!"
"I do. Hmm, could we call you Kaen?"
"That's Soi's real name. Didn't you know?
"I forgot. Gomen. What about Umi?"
"Umi sounds nice. Just promise me you won't tell Yui-sama."
"Alright. I promise." But what about me? He thought. I like you a whole lot. Oh, well. Somehow I will figure out how to turn him back. And I must think of him as him. I can't fall in love with someone I've known all my life as a boy. That's so, so, HENTAI!! "Come on, Su-chan, I mean Umi, we gotta find the other seishi."
"Okay," said Suboshi, and followed him as he walked away toward the main camp.
Which was in utter chaos. Why? Cause they'd just discovered Nakkie was a girl and Ashitare had run off with a wolf from the forest. They were long gone. He, he, he.
Back in the Suzaku camp, Chichiri was lying with his (we'll call him a he cause I absolutely cannot think of him as a girl) back against a rock, sipping the potion Mitsukake had given him for his headache. "Oh no da, I just cannot believe what has happened. It seems too unreal and impossible no da. Three of us are girls no da."
"What are the Seiryuus gonna say when they find out?" mumbled Tasuki angrily.
Then Kouji entered the camp. Tasuki hurried to hide behind something...anything. Kouji caught sight of him. If anybody out there can picture Tasuki as a girl then they'll know what it looked like to poor Kouji. He had an instant crush. "G-Gen-chan..."
"Oh, hi Kouji-chan." Tasuki spoke nervously.
By Hakurou! Thought Kouji. He's, he's...cute! I don't believe this, but he, er, she IS! VERY cute!! Eheheh. I'm scaring myself. "Gen-chan, what happened?"
"I'm not sure."
"Hey no da, anyone looking surprised at me? Or am I just considered girly enough for this to be normal no da?"
Kouji whipped around. "Chiri-chan! Whaaaaaaaaat!"
"All three of us are female you baka no da!"
"Th-three?"
"Look over there no da." Chichiri indicated. Kourin and Hotohori were sitting side-by-side, completely oblivious to everything around them. Each had an arm around the other and they were staring up at the sky, occasionally murmuring the odd 'Hoto-ai-Kourin-ai' and sighing blissfully.
"K-kowai," stammered Kouji.
"M-hm. The question is, how'd it happen?"
"Nono. The question is, will Gen-chan ma-er, nothing, nothing, you're right!" he said quickly, as all the seishi turned to stare at him.
"What were you going to say?" said Tasuki dangerously.
"Nothing!" insisted Kouji in a bright, VERY transparent way.
"Oh?"
"Yes, yes, nothing." He then changed the subject quickly. "I was just at the Seiryuu camp."
"And?"
"And Amiboshi has brought his sister to camp. Suboshi is sick and taking the month off. So they're minus one of their best seishi. And that girl is his twin, I swear! They're identical!"
"Good, good. Suboshi is sick, huh?"
"Yep!"
"Excellent! We can now attack."
"Attack! Like this! I'm a cursed girl! You can't make me let the Seiryuus see me like this! Noooooooo!"
"Then we won't make you, Gen-chan. You can come back to Mt. Leikaku with me!" Kouji winked at Tasuki, who thwacked him.
"I AM NOT going back to Mt. Leikaku and my bandit group like THIS!!!!!"
Kouji rubbed his head, and glared. "I remember when I was the one who beat you up - I mean, Gen-chan, I so sorry!!"
"I may look like a girl, but I'm a MAN at heart!!!" In the background, Tamahome took him up on this, singing, "Heart ni KIRAboshi.... sakashitare!!!"
Mitsukake divined the future, saying, "Now he's really gonna become an alcoholic to drown his sorrows!"
"What!!!!"
Suddenly a man from AA popped up, saying, "Yes, now that you are a woman, and everyone knows they're less egoistic, you can reform your bad habits! Join our support group, and become an alcohol free man, er, person today!" Tasuki Lekka Shien-d him into next year. (AN: I have nothing against AA, just my sister thought of this and it was so damn funny I had to put it in)
Ahem. We will now move to the Seiryuu camp...
Now that Tomo had realized Nakkie was a girl, he decided to ditch his makeup and cut his fingernails. (AN: He is now straight. Hmm....) He looked very, very bishi in his new mode.
Nakkie meanwhile, was screaming. She was very mad...Soi was looking rather madder. Tomo approached Nakkie with his hand outstretched, as if to indicate, don't bite me...Nakkie lashed out with his teeth, then stopped in surprise. "Your...fingernails..." he said in what might have been awe. Tomo tried to smile, and found it was much easier without all the makeup. "Well, I thought they were getting a bit long," he said, mastering his voice until it sounded quite nice, without a trace of his usual cackle. Nakkie stared, her eyes practically popping out of her head...and you wonder why WE don't like him. What's up with Tomo? Suppose if he looked good as a guy, he'd have to be somewhat good looking as a girl...da. I AM NOT A NAKAGO FANGIRL NO DAAA! Er, oops, shouldn't have said that. Now everyone's gonna think Chiri-chan is writing this and get all these ideas that he WANTED to be paired with Mits...um, gomen. Back to this damn fic I write, to quote TA Maxwell...
Soi looked murderous. "Tomo-baka, you are in for it..." Tomo glared at her. "Hmmpph. I don't see you trying to make Nakago feel better." But Soi was sorta thinking that Tomo looked very bishi in his new, um, cleanliness. (AN: No makeup! He's clean. Da, I love Love Triangles!)
Ahem, to focus on the activities of two look-alike seishi and a certain priestess...
Yui: Oh, your little sister is so cute, Ami-chan!
Little sister's thoughts: It's not fair! She thinks I'm cute as a girl! What about as a boy?
Oniichan's thoughts: I think she's cute too. Just back off, priestess girl! **gnash teeth** (AN: Gnashitare! I never thoughta that before...uh, gomen!)
Yui: Why are you grinding your teeth, Ami-chan?
Oniichan: Oh, I'm sorry, I just had a bad thought...
Yui: Well, anyway, your little sister is ADORABLE!!!
Oniichan: **gnash teeth**
Yui: Goodness, you must be having lots of unpleasant memories today...
Little sister: Yui-sama, I'm so glad to have met you.
Yui: Yui-sama? Only 1 person ever calls me Yui-sama...But you CAN'T be Suboshi...
Oniichan: **nervous look** Su-chan, you blew it!
Little sister: You mean YOU blew it.
Yui: SUBOSHI???
Little sister: Um, yes?
Yui: Oh my God... **faints**
Oniichan's thoughts: Now she's out of the way! **maniacal laughter**
Little sister: **stares** Ami-chan?
Oniichan: Oh, gomen, gomen, demo I had a good thought...
**ahem** Back to the Suzakus...
Quite a few people wondered if Tasuki was drunk at the present time anyway, what with Lekka Shien-ing people at the drop of a hat...it was sort of like his normal behavior, but...
Mitsukake, dealing with a now-hysterical Chichiri, thought that she should have two masks, one for her good days, and one for her bad days, as it looked very strange to be taking care of someone who was crying and grinning at the same time...
The reason she was hysterical was, 1. Tamahome had put pepper in her tea and made her drink it all. (CO-AN: Why would Tama do a jerky thing like that? A: He is a jerk. Only a jerk would fall for Miaka-baka...waitaminute! **both authoresses scroll their lists of bishounen, making sure none ever fell for Miaka** CO-A: There's that pic of Amiboshi kissing Miaka... A: Well, there's one of Hotohori kissing her... **loud growling noises and lots of dust. One authoress was fighting with a tessen, the other appeared to have a broadsword** Chibi Hotohori: Um, back to the fic? Chibi Tasuki: **nods** **the authoresses get back to their computer**)
2. Because she was still a girl, and nothing Mitsukake could do would help. "What kind of horrible magic did this no da!?!?!?!" he shrieked.
Nuriko yelled back, "What kind of wonderful magic, ya mean!!!"
"One of a kind!" said the Shrek chibi. (AN: Getting a bit off...) Tasuki Lekka Shien-d it. (Thank God!) The donkey-chibi popped up, "Hey, you got ridda mah friend!" Tasuki got him too. That was the end of the killer Shrek chibis, except a green-Fiona-chibi came up, but disappeared after a second, having realized what happened to the others when she saw two little charcoal Shrek and Donkey chibis... back to the subject at hand.
For the first time, Mits looked over at his cat, Tama-neko. It had rather long eyelashes, but this didn't surprise him. It had probably forgotten to trim them, being too busy with its plans to take over the world. Then he heard the cat meow. A rather feminine meow. Mits stared in horror. "Tama-neko?" The cat gave a VERY feminine meow. Mits looked horrified. "Meow-ow-ow-ow. Purr-err-err!" Coughing and choking, Mitsukake beckoned to the first person his eyes alighted on. Tasuki didn't see. However, Tama did. "Hey, Tasuk-aleasha, Mits wants ya!"
"Tasuk-aleasha?!?! You are deader than you ever dreamed!!!"
Mits distracted his attention quickly. "Tama-neko is a girl!"
A freaky Spanish dude popped up, stating in his heavy Spanish accent, "That means that cat is a gata, not a gato!!!"
"Get the hell outta here!" bellowed Tasuki.
"Calm it, Tasuk-aleasha. It's just some freaky Spanish dude."
"Freaky!?" said Miaka, looking hurt, "I hired to help me with my translations."
At that moment, Chiriko the walking encyclopedia began pouring out about Spanish culture and language.
Kouji said shyly, "I agree with Gen-chan. That thing should get the hell outta here."
Tasuki looked wonderingly at him, then Lekka Shien-d the Spanish dude too. "Heh heh. Ja ne!" he cackled with evil laughter
"Did you know you're beautiful when you're angr - uh, nevermind!"
"What? I'm holding you at tessen point. What were you going to say?"
Kouji knew there was no way out. He bowed his head, and mumbled wretchedly what he had been going to say. Tasuki stared in mingled horror and disbelief. (And there was a little bit of a blush there too...hehehe) Kouji was practically dying with humiliation. "Gomen nasai, Gen-chan..." "And now that I'm reminded, what the hell were you gonna say earlier, when you cut off, about the question?" Kouji looked like he wanted to run, but could not. On one hand, he could run, and be flamed, on the other, he could say it, and be flamed. There was no way out. He decided to say it. He murmured under his breath, so only Tasuki could hear, and not the spying, prying Tamahome jerk, who was trying to listen in. "I was going to say, the question was, would you, eh, ey, um, flame me?" Tasuki wondered if this was a request. "Don't lie," she said, in case it was not. "Alright. Would you **whispering inaudibly** marry me?" Tasuki caught this, however, and screamed at the top of her lungs, "WHAT THE HELL!!??!!!??" Kouji crumpled and fell into a little moaning heap on the ground at Tasuki's feet.
Mitsukake walked over and poked him. "Are you okay? Do you need healing?"
Again inaudibly, Kouji murmured, "Only my heart..."
Luckily, Mitsukake was feeling considerate, and didn't say anything, but walked over to his healing supplies, and began "healing" Kouji. One of these medicines was an anti-depressant, which didn't really work.
Tasuki was walking around sulkily, threatening to flame anyone who came near him. So nobody did. Except Miaka, who wanted to give him a kiss on the nose to cheer him up. She got flamed for it. He stormed around yelling, "I'm a guy people, I'm a guy!!!!" Kouji whimpered from inside the medicine tent, and Mits tried to shut him up. "Quiet you baka!" **whack** They all heard, rather quietly and nervously, "I think I knocked him out..."
In the Seiryuu camp. (AN: Did you know that Nakkie could also be changed to Nak-aleasha? Tama: I quite agree! Nakago: Shut your trap! Tomo: I quite agree!)
Tomo was feeding the poor, depressed, insulted Nakkie chocolate, to cheer her up. Suddenly Nak's eyes lit up with a maniacal light. He was going insane from chocolate!! (AN: **at crucial moment** Ya know, Nak-alina would also be a good name... Everybody: Enough!!!) Nakkie was now going around crushing things, while muttering, "Squish the birds, tuppence a squeeze, tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a squeeze." (AN: Purple Mouse, did I ever tell you how much I loved your fanfic?) Tomo whimpered, as Nakkie went through a series of gymnastics exercises, managing to kill twelve birds in the process, and getting blood all over his hands. (Co-AN: I hate manga pics...) Tomo managed to calm him down to low muttering and an occasional burst of mad laughter. While the sugar/caffeine wears off we'll go to the activities of three people we haven't seen for a while. (Co-AN: What do Seiryuu seishi like to dance? The Nak-arena! Nakago: Shut your trap again! Tomo: I quite agree again!)
Okay, in this fanfic I turn six of the seishi into girls and do some odd pairing. Expect insanity and improbability. Someone gave me a nice shiny chocolate bar filled with caramel today!!!
Seishi who become girls:
Tasuki
Chichiri
Nuriko
Nakago
Suboshi
Ashitare
Pairings:
Nuri-Hoto
Tasuki-Kouji
Nakago-Tomo
Ashitare-Random wolf
Chichiri-Mitsukake
Suboshi-Amiboshi (:AN. They ain't related anymore. If I can make Suboshi a girl, I can make them not be brother and sister/brother. Heheh. This should be interesting . . .)
Chapter 1: The Transformation
The (Suzaku) seishi were all kind of sitting around when suddenly the fire glowed bright red and there was a clap of thunder, followed by a burst of lightening, the way it always does in those fakey annoying staged movies. But it all went away soon, and they relaxed again. Then three of them screamed. Two fainted, but the third jumped up yelling with joy.
"Hoto-saaaaamaaaaa, I'm a giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl!!!!!"
Hotohori stared. Nuriko was indeed a girl. (No hentai thoughts, please!) His, er, her long purple hair was curved around her delicate features.
"Hoto-sama!" She dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms round him. "Now I can be with you!"
"Nuri?" managed Tamahome, staring at her.
"Yes! But you should call me Kourin now!"
"O-O-Okay."
Kourin stared happily around. "Thank you, O Suzaku, or whichever god did this!"
"Easy for ya ta say!" came a slightly familiar female voice.
"T-Tasuki?"
"Yeah? Hell, I am just mad!" The irate seishi glared at Tama, her amber eyes glowing. Tama whistled. Both Miaka and Tasuki hit him at the same time. "Oww!" he moaned.
"Serves you right!"
It was obvious that Tasuki was not happy with her new, uh, form, so they left her alone. Meanwhile Chichiri woke up, rubbing his head. "Oww no da, I hit my head." Suddenly he froze. "There is something really wrong with my voice no da." When he, er, she realized what the problem was, she fainted again. Mitsukake tried to revive her.
At the same time, two of the Seiryuu seishi experienced the same lightning thing. They too, ignored it, thinking it was Soi. Then one of the look-alikes (:AN. Look-alikes, not twins) screamed.
"What is wrong?" said Amiboshi.
"Look at me!" cried the green-haired seishi. Amiboshi turned his head on one side.
"You've lost some weight."
"Baka! Listen to my voice!!"
"It sounds different."
"Yes! Exactly!"
Amiboshi looked at Suboshi. His jacket stuck out in front, and his eyes had longer lashes. His body was shaped differently.
"Um, Suboshi, you look strange . . .oh my Seiryuu!!! You're a girl!!!"
"Yes, I am!!" She began crying. "I don't wanna be a girl!!!"
Since the two seishi had always been close friends and helped each other, Amiboshi saw no reason that this should destroy that bond. He put his arms around her and patted her back comfortingly. "It'll be okay. Don't worry, Su-chan."
She sniffled. "You can't call me Su-chan anymore. I need a new name."
"Why can't I still call you Suboshi? You are, really."
"But, but, I CAN'T let Yui-sama know it's me like this. Please understand!"
"I do. Hmm, could we call you Kaen?"
"That's Soi's real name. Didn't you know?
"I forgot. Gomen. What about Umi?"
"Umi sounds nice. Just promise me you won't tell Yui-sama."
"Alright. I promise." But what about me? He thought. I like you a whole lot. Oh, well. Somehow I will figure out how to turn him back. And I must think of him as him. I can't fall in love with someone I've known all my life as a boy. That's so, so, HENTAI!! "Come on, Su-chan, I mean Umi, we gotta find the other seishi."
"Okay," said Suboshi, and followed him as he walked away toward the main camp.
Which was in utter chaos. Why? Cause they'd just discovered Nakkie was a girl and Ashitare had run off with a wolf from the forest. They were long gone. He, he, he.
Back in the Suzaku camp, Chichiri was lying with his (we'll call him a he cause I absolutely cannot think of him as a girl) back against a rock, sipping the potion Mitsukake had given him for his headache. "Oh no da, I just cannot believe what has happened. It seems too unreal and impossible no da. Three of us are girls no da."
"What are the Seiryuus gonna say when they find out?" mumbled Tasuki angrily.
Then Kouji entered the camp. Tasuki hurried to hide behind something...anything. Kouji caught sight of him. If anybody out there can picture Tasuki as a girl then they'll know what it looked like to poor Kouji. He had an instant crush. "G-Gen-chan..."
"Oh, hi Kouji-chan." Tasuki spoke nervously.
By Hakurou! Thought Kouji. He's, he's...cute! I don't believe this, but he, er, she IS! VERY cute!! Eheheh. I'm scaring myself. "Gen-chan, what happened?"
"I'm not sure."
"Hey no da, anyone looking surprised at me? Or am I just considered girly enough for this to be normal no da?"
Kouji whipped around. "Chiri-chan! Whaaaaaaaaat!"
"All three of us are female you baka no da!"
"Th-three?"
"Look over there no da." Chichiri indicated. Kourin and Hotohori were sitting side-by-side, completely oblivious to everything around them. Each had an arm around the other and they were staring up at the sky, occasionally murmuring the odd 'Hoto-ai-Kourin-ai' and sighing blissfully.
"K-kowai," stammered Kouji.
"M-hm. The question is, how'd it happen?"
"Nono. The question is, will Gen-chan ma-er, nothing, nothing, you're right!" he said quickly, as all the seishi turned to stare at him.
"What were you going to say?" said Tasuki dangerously.
"Nothing!" insisted Kouji in a bright, VERY transparent way.
"Oh?"
"Yes, yes, nothing." He then changed the subject quickly. "I was just at the Seiryuu camp."
"And?"
"And Amiboshi has brought his sister to camp. Suboshi is sick and taking the month off. So they're minus one of their best seishi. And that girl is his twin, I swear! They're identical!"
"Good, good. Suboshi is sick, huh?"
"Yep!"
"Excellent! We can now attack."
"Attack! Like this! I'm a cursed girl! You can't make me let the Seiryuus see me like this! Noooooooo!"
"Then we won't make you, Gen-chan. You can come back to Mt. Leikaku with me!" Kouji winked at Tasuki, who thwacked him.
"I AM NOT going back to Mt. Leikaku and my bandit group like THIS!!!!!"
Kouji rubbed his head, and glared. "I remember when I was the one who beat you up - I mean, Gen-chan, I so sorry!!"
"I may look like a girl, but I'm a MAN at heart!!!" In the background, Tamahome took him up on this, singing, "Heart ni KIRAboshi.... sakashitare!!!"
Mitsukake divined the future, saying, "Now he's really gonna become an alcoholic to drown his sorrows!"
"What!!!!"
Suddenly a man from AA popped up, saying, "Yes, now that you are a woman, and everyone knows they're less egoistic, you can reform your bad habits! Join our support group, and become an alcohol free man, er, person today!" Tasuki Lekka Shien-d him into next year. (AN: I have nothing against AA, just my sister thought of this and it was so damn funny I had to put it in)
Ahem. We will now move to the Seiryuu camp...
Now that Tomo had realized Nakkie was a girl, he decided to ditch his makeup and cut his fingernails. (AN: He is now straight. Hmm....) He looked very, very bishi in his new mode.
Nakkie meanwhile, was screaming. She was very mad...Soi was looking rather madder. Tomo approached Nakkie with his hand outstretched, as if to indicate, don't bite me...Nakkie lashed out with his teeth, then stopped in surprise. "Your...fingernails..." he said in what might have been awe. Tomo tried to smile, and found it was much easier without all the makeup. "Well, I thought they were getting a bit long," he said, mastering his voice until it sounded quite nice, without a trace of his usual cackle. Nakkie stared, her eyes practically popping out of her head...and you wonder why WE don't like him. What's up with Tomo? Suppose if he looked good as a guy, he'd have to be somewhat good looking as a girl...da. I AM NOT A NAKAGO FANGIRL NO DAAA! Er, oops, shouldn't have said that. Now everyone's gonna think Chiri-chan is writing this and get all these ideas that he WANTED to be paired with Mits...um, gomen. Back to this damn fic I write, to quote TA Maxwell...
Soi looked murderous. "Tomo-baka, you are in for it..." Tomo glared at her. "Hmmpph. I don't see you trying to make Nakago feel better." But Soi was sorta thinking that Tomo looked very bishi in his new, um, cleanliness. (AN: No makeup! He's clean. Da, I love Love Triangles!)
Ahem, to focus on the activities of two look-alike seishi and a certain priestess...
Yui: Oh, your little sister is so cute, Ami-chan!
Little sister's thoughts: It's not fair! She thinks I'm cute as a girl! What about as a boy?
Oniichan's thoughts: I think she's cute too. Just back off, priestess girl! **gnash teeth** (AN: Gnashitare! I never thoughta that before...uh, gomen!)
Yui: Why are you grinding your teeth, Ami-chan?
Oniichan: Oh, I'm sorry, I just had a bad thought...
Yui: Well, anyway, your little sister is ADORABLE!!!
Oniichan: **gnash teeth**
Yui: Goodness, you must be having lots of unpleasant memories today...
Little sister: Yui-sama, I'm so glad to have met you.
Yui: Yui-sama? Only 1 person ever calls me Yui-sama...But you CAN'T be Suboshi...
Oniichan: **nervous look** Su-chan, you blew it!
Little sister: You mean YOU blew it.
Yui: SUBOSHI???
Little sister: Um, yes?
Yui: Oh my God... **faints**
Oniichan's thoughts: Now she's out of the way! **maniacal laughter**
Little sister: **stares** Ami-chan?
Oniichan: Oh, gomen, gomen, demo I had a good thought...
**ahem** Back to the Suzakus...
Quite a few people wondered if Tasuki was drunk at the present time anyway, what with Lekka Shien-ing people at the drop of a hat...it was sort of like his normal behavior, but...
Mitsukake, dealing with a now-hysterical Chichiri, thought that she should have two masks, one for her good days, and one for her bad days, as it looked very strange to be taking care of someone who was crying and grinning at the same time...
The reason she was hysterical was, 1. Tamahome had put pepper in her tea and made her drink it all. (CO-AN: Why would Tama do a jerky thing like that? A: He is a jerk. Only a jerk would fall for Miaka-baka...waitaminute! **both authoresses scroll their lists of bishounen, making sure none ever fell for Miaka** CO-A: There's that pic of Amiboshi kissing Miaka... A: Well, there's one of Hotohori kissing her... **loud growling noises and lots of dust. One authoress was fighting with a tessen, the other appeared to have a broadsword** Chibi Hotohori: Um, back to the fic? Chibi Tasuki: **nods** **the authoresses get back to their computer**)
2. Because she was still a girl, and nothing Mitsukake could do would help. "What kind of horrible magic did this no da!?!?!?!" he shrieked.
Nuriko yelled back, "What kind of wonderful magic, ya mean!!!"
"One of a kind!" said the Shrek chibi. (AN: Getting a bit off...) Tasuki Lekka Shien-d it. (Thank God!) The donkey-chibi popped up, "Hey, you got ridda mah friend!" Tasuki got him too. That was the end of the killer Shrek chibis, except a green-Fiona-chibi came up, but disappeared after a second, having realized what happened to the others when she saw two little charcoal Shrek and Donkey chibis... back to the subject at hand.
For the first time, Mits looked over at his cat, Tama-neko. It had rather long eyelashes, but this didn't surprise him. It had probably forgotten to trim them, being too busy with its plans to take over the world. Then he heard the cat meow. A rather feminine meow. Mits stared in horror. "Tama-neko?" The cat gave a VERY feminine meow. Mits looked horrified. "Meow-ow-ow-ow. Purr-err-err!" Coughing and choking, Mitsukake beckoned to the first person his eyes alighted on. Tasuki didn't see. However, Tama did. "Hey, Tasuk-aleasha, Mits wants ya!"
"Tasuk-aleasha?!?! You are deader than you ever dreamed!!!"
Mits distracted his attention quickly. "Tama-neko is a girl!"
A freaky Spanish dude popped up, stating in his heavy Spanish accent, "That means that cat is a gata, not a gato!!!"
"Get the hell outta here!" bellowed Tasuki.
"Calm it, Tasuk-aleasha. It's just some freaky Spanish dude."
"Freaky!?" said Miaka, looking hurt, "I hired to help me with my translations."
At that moment, Chiriko the walking encyclopedia began pouring out about Spanish culture and language.
Kouji said shyly, "I agree with Gen-chan. That thing should get the hell outta here."
Tasuki looked wonderingly at him, then Lekka Shien-d the Spanish dude too. "Heh heh. Ja ne!" he cackled with evil laughter
"Did you know you're beautiful when you're angr - uh, nevermind!"
"What? I'm holding you at tessen point. What were you going to say?"
Kouji knew there was no way out. He bowed his head, and mumbled wretchedly what he had been going to say. Tasuki stared in mingled horror and disbelief. (And there was a little bit of a blush there too...hehehe) Kouji was practically dying with humiliation. "Gomen nasai, Gen-chan..." "And now that I'm reminded, what the hell were you gonna say earlier, when you cut off, about the question?" Kouji looked like he wanted to run, but could not. On one hand, he could run, and be flamed, on the other, he could say it, and be flamed. There was no way out. He decided to say it. He murmured under his breath, so only Tasuki could hear, and not the spying, prying Tamahome jerk, who was trying to listen in. "I was going to say, the question was, would you, eh, ey, um, flame me?" Tasuki wondered if this was a request. "Don't lie," she said, in case it was not. "Alright. Would you **whispering inaudibly** marry me?" Tasuki caught this, however, and screamed at the top of her lungs, "WHAT THE HELL!!??!!!??" Kouji crumpled and fell into a little moaning heap on the ground at Tasuki's feet.
Mitsukake walked over and poked him. "Are you okay? Do you need healing?"
Again inaudibly, Kouji murmured, "Only my heart..."
Luckily, Mitsukake was feeling considerate, and didn't say anything, but walked over to his healing supplies, and began "healing" Kouji. One of these medicines was an anti-depressant, which didn't really work.
Tasuki was walking around sulkily, threatening to flame anyone who came near him. So nobody did. Except Miaka, who wanted to give him a kiss on the nose to cheer him up. She got flamed for it. He stormed around yelling, "I'm a guy people, I'm a guy!!!!" Kouji whimpered from inside the medicine tent, and Mits tried to shut him up. "Quiet you baka!" **whack** They all heard, rather quietly and nervously, "I think I knocked him out..."
In the Seiryuu camp. (AN: Did you know that Nakkie could also be changed to Nak-aleasha? Tama: I quite agree! Nakago: Shut your trap! Tomo: I quite agree!)
Tomo was feeding the poor, depressed, insulted Nakkie chocolate, to cheer her up. Suddenly Nak's eyes lit up with a maniacal light. He was going insane from chocolate!! (AN: **at crucial moment** Ya know, Nak-alina would also be a good name... Everybody: Enough!!!) Nakkie was now going around crushing things, while muttering, "Squish the birds, tuppence a squeeze, tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a squeeze." (AN: Purple Mouse, did I ever tell you how much I loved your fanfic?) Tomo whimpered, as Nakkie went through a series of gymnastics exercises, managing to kill twelve birds in the process, and getting blood all over his hands. (Co-AN: I hate manga pics...) Tomo managed to calm him down to low muttering and an occasional burst of mad laughter. While the sugar/caffeine wears off we'll go to the activities of three people we haven't seen for a while. (Co-AN: What do Seiryuu seishi like to dance? The Nak-arena! Nakago: Shut your trap again! Tomo: I quite agree again!)