Summary: Takes place mainly in the second book, New Moon. Spoilers. After Edward comes back from Ventorri. Bella is mad at him for trying to get them to kill him, but relieved to have him back. Edward knows he has hurt her feelings and trys to make it up to her.
Beautiful Disaster
Edward's POV
Bella laid, sleeping next to me. I wasn't sure if she knew of my presence, but she relaxed when I laid on the bed beside her. I looked at her face. She looked at peace. It frustrated me to no end, espically now, that I couldn't read her thoughts. I knew she had forgiven me for leaving her the way I did. We had already went through it all. She understood I only left because I had to, but I also knew that she was mas at me and she had a right to be. I was frustrated with myself as well.
'You, You got me,
Thinking it'll be alright,
You, you told me,
Come and take a look inside.'
I still couldn't believe she still believed the lie I told her, back in the woods around seven months ago. I remembered taking a 'walk' with ehr. I told her we were leaving, going to a new place and not coming back. When Bella commented on Carlisle telling her that my arragence to turn her was because I wanted to save her soul. It frustrated me...again. Carlisle shouldn't of told her that,. However, the last few words of the conversation resounded in my head for the past months.
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." I remember the sting as I said the words. They hurt to say out loud, but what hurt even more was that I knew they'd hurt her.
"You...don't...want me?" Her words often repeated themself inside my head. I tried to block them out, the memories. But I couldn't.
"No." Was my answer. That was all I remember, or at least allowed myself to dwell on. I didn't get why, in all the time we spent together and I learned that she caught on to things that she shouldn't, that she would believe that lie. I expected her to insist I don't leave her. Accepting it was something I hadn't expected.
'You believe me,
Every single lie,
I have failed you this time.'
My sleeping beauty stirred in her sleep, making me come back to the present. I wasn't sure if she was going to fully wake up or not, but my question was answered when she rolled over; hugging my body closer to her own, a light murmuring of an "Edward" before falling back into a sleep.
'And it feels like tonight,
I can't believe I'm broken inside.'
I still couldn't let go of the fact that I balmmed myself, despite when Bella said before; that things weren't my fault. But she didn't know the pain I felt. when I left. She claimed she understood, but I knew somewhere she thought it was easy for me, but it wasn't.
'Can't you see that,
There's nothing else I wanna do,
Then try to make it up to you,
And feels like tonight, tonight.'
Bella stirred again next to me. I changed my position to help her be more comfortable; allowing a blanket to be put inbetween our bodies to try and keep her warm. My thoughts turned to the first day I met her, or saw her I should say. I couldn't stand being near her. her simple mell drove me nearly insane. It surprised me, in a way. I'd never seen someone, smelt someone, in such a way. her blood called to me too much. I had to restrain myself to jump her and drain her of her blood right then and there.
It was so weird, feeling like that, it made me feel weak. I had waited years, decades and for something. Well I hadn't really waited, but being alone made Esme and Carlisle worried and I wasnted to ease their pain. When I saw her at lnch, and in science, my thrist flared up. I wasn't sure I could control myself. But as much as I tried to stay away from her, she would always seem to be there. I knew the way she smelled to me was different to the way she smelt for ALice, Emmet or Rosalie. That worried me, something told me she was the one I was supposed to be with. She was like what Esme was to Carlisle. Unique to everyone, but special only in a way I could understand.
'I was waiting,
for the day you'd come around,
I was Chasing but nothing was all I found,
From the moment, you came into my life,
You showed me what's right.'
I smiled as I looked down at my angel. I would never have thought I would lay here next to her. In the middle of the night. Her warm skin againsit my cold flesh drove me insane, but I learned to control it over the time we spent together. And that's when a thought hit me. I need to make this up to her. I knew she sorta forgave me, but doing something to prove to her that this wasn't a dream and showing her I was real and loved her still, would set my mind at ease. Plans began to form.
'And it feels like tonight,
I can't believe I'm broken inside,
Can't you see that,
there's nothing that I wanna do,
Then try to make it up to you,
And it feels like tonight, tonight.'
I smiled again as the familiar talking happned. I knew from Charlie that she used to have nightmares while I was away. Screaming in the middle of the night, making him worry. But now, as I laied beside her, she murmured my name over and over again. I chuckled lowly, like nothing had changed. She still spoke my name while she slept. I had saved her life so many times, depsite the fact that being with me was a danger on it's own. She was like a walking disaster. And yet, I was in love with her.
'I never felt like this before,
Just when I leave I'm back for more,
Nothing else seems to matter,
And in these never changing days,
You're the one thing thta remains,
I could stay like this forever.'
Bella stirred again and sighed. I realized she had slowly opened her eyes. I stared down at her as she slowly regained concousness of where she was. She looked at me, a look on her face I couldn't read.
"Edward?" She whispered. I nodded. Who else?
"Are you still convinced this is all a dream?" I asked. She nodded once. "Hmmm. I was thinking while you slept. I think we should do something, you know? Tonight? Go to the movies or the books store. Anything." She nodded, smiling, but obviously still waiting for her 'dream' to go away. "Bella, this isn't a dream. I am really here, alive. And you're alive and we're together again." Bella nodded, but I knew she didn't fully believe me. "I need to step out a second." I ssaid calmly. I knew she would think I was leaving and never coming back.
"What? But?"
"I'll be right back I promise." She nodded. I leaned forward quickly and kissed her forehead. I'll be back soon."
I returned to Bella's room about two minutes later, it didn't take too long. Bella was laying in bed, looking to be asleep. However, I knew her better than that.
"Bella. I'm back." I whispered to her, sliding into the bed next to her. her eyed looked up at me, as if I was an illusion.
"Edward?" She whispered, dazed and then she smiled. "You came back."
"I told you I would." I moved closer to her as she curled up next to me, rather it was instinct or because she wanted to I don't know. I hoped for the later. "Hey wait. I have something for you." She looked up at me. "Nothing big. I know how you don't like present." I handed her the roses first, long and red, along with the box of chocolates. She took theme in her hands, starng at it in tensly. "I know it's cliche', but I am a gentlemen." She finally looked up from the chocolates and smiled at me.
"Thank you." She smiled, hugging me tightly. I smiled too, happy she liked it.
"That's not all." She pulled awat and looked up at me.
"Edward, I don't need presents.I already forga..."
"I know." I said cutting her off."And I also know that if you hadn't forgave me, these gifts wouldn't help. However, for reasons I really don't know myself, I fell I have to do this. To help make me forgive myself for what I did."
"Ed.."
"Please Bella." I said, lookign into her eyes. I already knew what she was going to say, I didn't need to hear the words. "Here." I handed her a box wrapped in blood red papaer. She opened it and stared at what the box held inside. "It's a locket. It was Esme's. She said she wanted you to have it. I put a picture of you and me in it, if you opne it." She opned it and I saw tears forming in her eyes.
"Thank you." She whispered and hugged me again. I hugged back, of course.
"There's one more." I told her. She groaned. "Sorry, it didn't cost me anything though!" She sighed, admitting defeat and grabbed the last present as I handed it to her. She opned it, being careful not to cut herself on the paper and then looked at the square in her hand. her eyed filled with more tears as she looked up at me. I smiled.
"I heard you broke all your cd's and since you seemed to like it. I figured I'd five you mine." It was the cd that her step-father gave to her. She said she listened to it on her own and then we listend to it in my car. It held memories. I figured when I learned she broke hers, that I would give her mine anyway. Her silence while she looked at me was un-nerveing. "I can take it back if you don't ant it." I said,s earching for the cd, but she held it closer to her.
"Thank you, so much, Edward." She said to me, smiling through her tears as I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her softly.
'And it feels like tonight,
I can't believe I'm broken inside,
Can't you see that,
There's nothing else I wanna fo,
Then try and make it up to you,
And it feels like tonight, tonight.
Feels like tonight, tonight.
Feels like tonight, tonight.'
I pushed away gently, againsit my want to countinue. My will becoming weakened. "So are you sure it's not a dream no more?" I asked, she nodded.
"Pretty much, but on one condition."
"There's always a condition with you." I said teasingly.
"Of course!" She said smiling and laughing. "I will believe it's not all a dream if you stop thinking it's all your fault for my four months of lifelessness. I know you blame yourself and I want you to stop, okay?"
"Bella." I said, but she placed a finger to my lips.
"Shh." She said, knwoing she would win this one...for now. I could never totally forgive myself. I would always feel guilty, but I could try. All for the beautiful disaster in front of me.
"Agreed." I said and we both smiled before I pulled her into another kiss. And in that moment I knew everything would be okay in the end. I knew I would still have to protect her from all the dangers she seemed to attract, but we'd be alright. I loved her, and despite everything, she still loved me. And I knew I would never leave ehr again, no matter what.
'Cause there's nothing that I wanna do,
Then try to make it up to you,
And it feels like tonight,
Tonight.'
The end!
A/N: Okay...most people but A/N's in the beginning and in the end...but I'm weird P lol. So the lyrics used in this story is from Feels Like Tonight by Daughtry. Plus I'd like to say that I don't own Twilight or the characters or the song. I just own the plot for the story. I dunno why people need to put disclaimers...obviously I don't own the book or song...but anyway! Sorry if there's mistakes, I don't have a beta...and I didn't see any. But my eyes do a freaky thing where it automatically corrects the word...anyway! I hope you enjoyed!! First fic uploaded on this account! So if you want, review Thanks for reading!!
Loves,
blackrosesred