It was like everything was happening in slow motion. Except it wasn't slow enough for him to react. But it was slow enough for him to see every painful detail as it happened, too fast for him to control. He saw her draw the gun, saw the muzzle spinning around the club full of people who were oblivious to her presence at all, but they needn't have worried because there was only one person that Pam was aiming for. And that person was just as oblivious as the rest of them.
He was half out of his seat, body angled toward Pam and toward Brennan, her back to him as she did an exaggerated spin on stage, vaguely aware of reaching for his gun. Cam was looking at him strangely, no doubt distracted by his sudden behavior but he didn't pay her any attention. He must have shouted her name, because Brennan turned around, her brow furrowing as she looked at him, faltering for a second. He wanted to shout something else, something more important but his mouth didn't seem to be working right.
And then the gun went off, echoing, impossibly loud, through the club. Everyone screamed and ducked on reflex, covering their heads and looking around for the danger. Pam was shouting something at him, waving the gun around wildly, pleased with herself but he was all ready flinging himself toward the stage, pushing people out of his way. Behind him, Angela was screaming and he knew that she had seen what he didn't want to be true. She seemed to be screaming far longer than a normal person should be able to and every so often called Brennan by name, but go no answer.
Hodgins was calling for someone to get an ambulance and Sweets was running towards Pam, no doubt to try and get the gun from her. Didn't he understand that no one else was in danger now? That she had done what she had come here to do.
Again, it felt like slow motion, felt like he would never be able to get to her fast enough. But finally he was there, scrambling onto the stage. Someone else was reaching for her to but he pushed the overly helpful girl out of the way, dropping to his knees. She lay in a heap, on her side, crumbled and motionless. Gently, he pulled her into his arms, turning her over, hoping to find her just surprised and maybe nicked, having dropped to the stage to instinctively protect herself. But even he knew that Brennan was good but she wasn't that good. She had been looking at him when the gun went off. Stupid, stupid! He shouldn't have distracted her, should have moved faster and maybe then he wouldn't be holding his partner, limp in his arms.
Brennan's face was a paper white and hung to one side when he picked her up. Her shirt was all ready soaked through with blood, his hands were sticky with it, but she still seemed to be breathing, raspy but breathing just the same. "Come on!" He shouted and he could barely hear himself over the noise in the club. Angela wasn't screaming so loudly anymore, just crying now, but her voice was oddly far away, like someone was trying to muffle the sound of her. "Bones! Come on Bones!" He gave her a little shake and she just groaned. Didn't open her eyes, didn't move, just made a deep, almost subconscious sound.
Eyes wild and panicked, he looked up, over his shoulder, his eyes searching for someone who could help her. But there was only Angela with her face against Hodgins' chest and his arms were tight around her, as though trying to protect her from a similar fate. Zack had disappeared, no doubt trying to call for help even though Cam was also on her phone, her face white, gesturing at whomever she was speaking to, even though they couldn't see her, a gesture she did when there was nothing else for her to do. And Sweets and the club owner had Pam pressed to the ground and she was crying too, like she was somehow suffering for what had just happened. He really had to hand it to Sweets, he could really take charge when they needed him. But none of that was helping Brennan. "Somebody! Get some help!" He shouted even though he knew there was no use because everyone was all ready doing what they could. "Somebody…help…" He looked back at Brennan. "Bones…" He touched her face and her skin was clammy.
He tried to look at the gun shot, tried to make himself useful by telling how bad it was and what he could do to help her, how he could help her now when he hadn't been able to help her when it really mattered. "Come on Bones." That seemed to be all he could say. Stupid mouth, too slow, too heavy again. "You're tougher than this." But there was just so much blood and he couldn't even see where she had been hit and her breath was rattling in her throat and she just groaned again. "You can beat this…you're going to be all right…" You have to be. "Come on! Temperance…stay with me…"
Again he looked over his shoulder but everything was going too slow, even though people were rushing around him. Maybe he was the one going too slow and everyone else was moving at normal speed. He took her fully in his arms, cradling her against his chest and stepping down from the stage. He would just have to take her to them; time to start moving in normal speed.
He started toward the entrance of the club, aware in the back of his mind that he would walk her all the way to the hospital if he had to. Zack was coming toward him, saying something about the ambulance and just repeating her name over and over again "Dr. Brennan, Dr. Brennan" like he needed her advice on something but really he knew that Zack just wanted what they all wanted: an answer.
There were sirens growing closer but the second and he could hear them loudly as he stepped into the parking lot. An ambulance bumped into the lot, followed by two police cars and a crowd of onlookers, all no doubt pleased that they had decided to come out to the Checker Box tonight. Two EMT's burst from the back of the ambulance, dragging a stretcher behind them, rushing toward him.
And then everything seemed to be happening way too fast. They took her from his arms and he tried to keep hold of her but his fingers only managed to brush her shirt. The police officers ran past him, guns and faces drawn, unsure of what they would find inside. The male EMT was strapping her down, checking her vitals and shouting things that seemed to belong to a different person, different situation than the one they were in now. It should be someone other than Brennan who was losing a lot of blood, someone other than Brennan who was unresponsive, someone other than Brennan being wheeled into an ambulance.
Feeling panicky, in a way he had never felt before, he tried to follow after the stretcher, trying to reach for her again but the female EMT was standing in his way, asking him questions and trying to keep him back. "Sir, I'm gonna need you to…sir, do you know her blood type…sir," she was getting frustrated now, "I'm going to need you to stay back." She put a gloved hand on his chest. "You're going to need to wait here."
Confused, he looked at her then back at the ambulance. Brennan had disappeared inside now. "I need to go with her." He told her frankly, just as frustrated as she looked, probably worse. She could only imagine what he was feeling right now. "I need to be with her." He tried to step past the woman but she blocked him. Didn't she understand they were wasting time.
"Are you family?" She questioned suspiciously.
Dumbly, he shook his head. "No, no but…she needs me." He wanted so badly to take her in his arms, to hold her and give her whatever she needed, whatever she needed of him. His life, if she wanted. Just to have the old Bones back, just to forget the sight of her looking so weak and empty there, bleeding in his arms. Didn't this woman understand that he needed to be with her, that they were always together, that he needed to tell her all the reasons she had to wake up, her brother and the Squints (what would they do without her?) and him. That he loved her. Why had he put off saying it for so long? Stupid, stupid heavy, slow mouth. "I need to be there when she opens her eyes." How would she feel if she woke up alone, in the ambulance, with only the noise and the EMT's?
The woman gave him a pitying look before she stopped herself. "Sir, only family in the ambulance. You can meet us in the hospital." And she dashed back to the open doors and they closed behind her and that was that.
He stood in the parking lot, aching as he watched the ambulance disappear without him. And he stood there until he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to see Cam, her eyes wet, looking confused and drawn. "What did they say?" She questioned, her voice low and hoarse, like she hadn't spoken in some time.
"I need to get to the hospital." He ignored her question. He started back toward the club, desperate to find Hodgins, or Sweets or even Zack to take him to the hospital, to her. "Now." Why was everything going so slow again? It had been too fast when they had taken her from his arms, too fast for him to stop them from being separated.
As soon as he entered the club, Angela threw herself against his chest, streaked with her blood and started to cry all over again. This was not the tough, could probably chew a steel bullet Angela he was so familiar with. But he was hardly familiar with himself at the moment. Hodgins was at her side. "What's going on, man?" He questions, eyes searching. "Where is she?" Hodgins, too, seemed surprised by the fact that they weren't together, that they hadn't let him into the ambulance with her.
Again, he ignored the questions. "I need to get to the hospital." And then Sweets was there, keys in hand, telling them to follow him, he would drive, the police would meet them there for questioning.
It was a miracle that they all fit in Sweets' car and he sat in the front seat while everyone else was crammed into the back, uncomfortable but how else should they be at the moment? They rode in silence, though when Sweets started the engine the radio blared on some ridiculous pop song and his cheeks had turned red as he all but punched the button off. Only once did he speak, looking down at his shaking his hands (clearly, he was hardly the same tough, could probably chew a steel bullet guy he was that morning), sticky and red. "There's just so much blood…"
Sweets swung the car into a parking spot and he was out of the passenger door before they had even completely stopped. He ran into the emergency waiting room, where things seemed to be on normal time. "Dr. Brennan?" He asked one of the nurses, who looked at him blankly. "Is there a Dr. Brennan here? Temperance Brennan?" Still she started at him. "Bones?" He wasn't talking to her now, rushing away from her, down the hallways where he knew he wasn't supposed to be. "Bones!"
And there she was, being wheeled into an OR, white behind a white sheet, her dark hair fanned out behind her, her face tight and her eyes closed. He ran to her and took her hand before the nurses could push him away. "Bones! Wake up! You're going to be all right. You're going to make it because…what am I going to do without you? Huh? We're a team, remember?"
One of the doctors was pulling him away now as the others pushed her into the OR. "Sir, you're going to have to wait out here." His voice was kinder than that of the EMT. "There's nothing you can do for her now."
"Is she going to be all right?" He wanted the doctor to laugh and roll his eyes and say "What are you kidding? That's Dr. Temperance Brennan we've got in there. She'll be solving crimes by morning."
But the doctor only looked at him. "She's lost a lot of blood and her heart rate is low, dropping." Clearly, he could tell he was talking to a no-nonsense kind of guy. "We'll let you know as soon as we know something." He pointed back toward the waiting room then went to join the OR.
Discouraged, he turned and joined the others. With nothing else to do, they waited. The TV buzzed in the background, entertaining itself and the magazines sat unread. They were joined by other people, haggard and anxious and no one talked to anyone else. Angela fell asleep somehow, slumped forward with her forehead on her knees (how that was comfortable, he would never know) and they all wanted her to sleep because there was no point on being awake and just waiting. Cam called Russ and her father but they had yet to show up and so they were waiting.
When Cam was up to get coffee that no one wanted, the doctor returned. Before he even opened his mouth, he was on his feet, approaching the doctor. "How is she, can I see her?" Angela's head snapped up, like she was triggered by some inner alarm that had been ready for this exact moment.
The doctor gave a tired expression. "She's still in ICU, she's unresponsive but we believe she'll soon be stable. Only family is allowed in now." His eyes scanned the room.
Frustrated, he said, "I'm her partner. Her FBI partner." If he needed to show the badge or shoot someone to get something done, he didn't have a problem with that.
For a moment, the doctor hesitated, then nodded. "But only for a moment." He led the way down a hallway to a door that kept him from Brennan.
She lay in a white bed, propped up on white pillows, tubes connecting her to IV's and blood transfusions and wires plugging her into monitors that beeped and hummed but didn't sound promising. She just looked so small, so tiny there, her chest wrapped in reddening bandages, her breath still raspy in her throat.
His mouth felt dry as he knelt beside her, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. He didn't know what to say to her, which wasn't a surprise. When did he ever know what to say to her that wasn't some crack at her, some jeer (good-hearted of course, he hoped she knew that). Now that it was time to say something important, he couldn't find the words.
He just kissed her knuckles again and the palm of her hand and her wrist. "Bones…this is all my fault. I should have…should have known Pam was…would…" There was only beeping in response. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for everything. For not being fast enough, for letting you get shot. For…" He shook his head. "Making fun of you for not knowing who Kelly Clarkson was." He couldn't help but smile as he remembered her confused look at the mention of the name. It was a lifetime ago, two different people.
"Look…here's the thing…I don't really work well with partners. Okay? Don't play well with others." If she had been coconscious, he was certain her reply would have been something like "shocking" which would have started off a whole string of playful insults. See, she brought it on herself. "But you and me…we're…well…a team. And I can't be a team without you." He kissed her wrist again. "Okay…so…that's really the only choice. And Parker…well…Parker needs his Aunt Bones, you know so…" He felt his eyes well with tears and he wrinkled his nose and cleared his throat to try and get rid of them. There was no use crying over someone who was going to be okay in a few hours. "And…well…I need you too." He looked at her face, pale, empty, unresponsive. "I need you Bones. Like…stupid...like…can't breathe by myself stupid. I…I love you…Bones…I love you." He wanted so badly for her to open her eyes, to look at him like he was a total idiot. He didn't care if she laughed in his face, told him to take his confessions somewhere else, told him that they couldn't be partners anymore because she couldn't work with someone who would follow her around like a dog or act affectionate, he didn't care if she woke up and kissed him right then. All he wanted was for her to open her eyes.
Clearing his throat, he swallowed and his tongue nearly stuck to the roof of his mouth. "So…you're going to make it through because the Bones I know wouldn't give up without a fight. You just…you can't leave me. I'm sorry I never said it before but I need you, I love you and I'll say it again if you want or never but…I'm sorry…sorry." He leaned forward and kissed her lips, which were as cold and unresponsive as the rest of her. "I love you." Why was it so easy to say now?
And he just sat there, holding her hand and brushing her hair away from her cheeks and waiting, just waiting. Waiting for her to wake up, waiting for her to stir or do anything, waiting for the doctor to come throw him out but he never did and eventually he must have fallen asleep because when he opened his eyes his vision was full of white fabric and the edge of her hand.
And there was something more, the reason he had woken. "Booth…" Soft, almost like had imagined it, a croak.
But it was enough. His head snapped up so fast he was sure he had whiplash but that hardly mattered now. Her eyes were barely open, slits and her face was turned toward him. She looked confused, her face muted with pain and the inability to focus. "Booth…"
He wasn't quite sure what he wanted to do. He wanted to cry, wanted to laugh, wanted to dance around the room or hold her tight and kiss her again. But he just stared at her and a slow, dopey smile spread across her face. "Hey Bones." He tried to sound casual.
Slowly, she swallowed and exhaled slowly, deeply. "What…are you okay?" She questioned, blinking as she looked at him.
"Am I okay? Geez, Bones, you're even more clueless than I thought." It was easy now, easy to laugh and smile and fall into old habits with her. Now that she was all right. Now that she was going to be all right. He felt so much lighter then he ever had before. She looked at him, confused. "I'm fine. You're the one who's been shot."
She was silent for a minute. "What…?" Her brow furrowed. "But I saw her…Pam…in the club…she was pointing the gun…I thought…you…" But she looked around herself and saw a different scenario than whichever one had been hopping around her head while she was…wherever she was. "Oh. She was aiming for me."
He nodded. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry I wasn't there…" Wasn't fast enough. "I wish…I wish it had been me." He was holding her hand so tightly but neither one said anything.
Brennan's brow knitted even more. "What, don't say that." She sighed heavily once more, a sound of exhaustion but she didn't seem willing to close her eyes again. Now she was tough, she was the tough Bones he knew. "What would I do without you?"
Chuckling he said, "Funny, I've been asking myself the same question."
"How long have you been here?"
He shrugged. "I didn't want you to have to be alone. I needed…I needed to be here…in case…" Again, he shrugged. "But you're going to be okay." Suddenly, his mouth felt dry again and he looked down at her hand. His knuckles were white and her fingers looked crooked in his grasp.
For a moment, they were silent, enjoying this new turn of events, the certainty of something good. And finally Brennan looked at him and said, "You said something to me."
He looked at her, confused. "Yeah, I was just talking to you. You know…talking about how much the Squints were going to miss you."
But she didn't seem convinced. "No…you said…" She drawled, "That you loved me, didn't you?" She looked at him with the expression of someone uncertain but certain at the same time. He said nothing but his cheeks got hot and smiled, a slow smile, someone drunk on pain and medicine. "You did."
He cleared his throat. "I thought you were asleep," was all he could say.
Brennan leaned back against the pillows and looked tired again and he wanted her to sleep, to save her strength so that she could be her old self again. Why was it so hard for him to admit what he had said? What had he promised when she was laying there, so broken? Promised to love her, to tell her all the things he had never managed to say before. What did that promise mean now?
"I guess…maybe…wishful thinking." She looked at him and smiled softly.
So he leaned forward and kissed her gently and this time her lips responded and they kissed until she tried to lift her arm around his shoulder and cried out in pain. "Well that's a reaction I've never had before." He said with a smile. It felt like all he could do now was smile because, what reason did he have not too?
Some other time, Brennan would have retorted and they would have done what they did best: take jabs at one another. But for now, she just leaned against the pillows and looked at him. She was smiling too, softer, sleepier, but it was a smile nonetheless.
For a while they were silent and he thought she had gone to sleep until she spoke again, her voice soft and hoarse. "Did you have to wait until I got shot to kiss me?"
And he just smiled.