Author's Note: HEY GUIS! So there's a new Silent Hill 8 game coming out in some undeterminable amount of time. I mean, I'm from the future and it still hasn't come out! So since we don't know much about the video game's protagonist, "Murphy Sexiest Man Thing Alive Okay Maybe Not That Hot But Still Pretty Hot Not That I Like Him That Much Back Off Bitch He's Mine Or I'll Bite You Pendleton," so I thought I'd just make a bunch of shit up. Enjoy!

Murphy is Henry's mother.

Once upon a time in the far-off land of Ashville, there lived a man whole looked like a pallate-shifted Henry Townshend. You could tell he wasn't the real Henry Townshend because his hair changed color at random, and his eyes may or may not have been the same color as Mr. Townshend's. No one could really tell because hi-res screenshots hadn't been posted then.

Anyway, this man's name was NOT "Henry Towshend" or "Man-who-looks-like Henry-Townshend," it was Murphy Pendleton. And he was going to jail for a very long, long time, all because of something Henry Townshend did.

It all started twenty-five years ago when Murphy mysteriously gave birth to a handsome young man. Murphy was only a young lad of 15 himself, so he felt he couldn't keep his man-child and still be successful in school, so he put the man-child-baby-thing up for adoption. Murphy went on to become a successful football-thrower person and all but forgot about his offspring. Meanwhile, that said offspring grew up—or rather mysteriously stayed the same for 25 years—to become the world's greatest slacker.

Then one fateful day, the two's path's would cross again. It was at 10pm in a foggy allyway. Murphy was slightly drunk having been at the local tavern drinkin with some of his old football-chucking buds. He was on his way home when a kitten had distracted him into entering the ally. He was cooing at the kitten when suddenly what felt like a bag of bricks hit him on the back of the head. It would later be reaveald to be indeed a bag of bricks, bricks of pure 199% pure White Claudia. Needless to say the impact rendered Murphy unconscious. When he next came to, he was in the custody of…THE POLICE! Booked with the possession of a bunch of dead bodies and the drugs didn't help.

I guess Henry had chucked the bag from 14 stories up or something.

THE QUESTIONATERING: "WHAT were you doing in that ally at 10pm?"

"I was pettin the kittenz," Murphy replied, cheerfully.

The police officer glared at Murphy and asked, "Sir, have you ever had sexual relations with this bag of White Claudia?"

Murphy gasped in surprise. "My god…" he whispered. It was the same bag of White Claudia that had taken him out on a romantic night that turned wrong nine months before his pregnancy twenty-five years ago.

"Officer, you have to believe me…that bag RAPED me twenty-five years ago!"

"TELL IT TO THE JUDGE!" snapped the police officer man/woman/thing.

Murphy turned around and looked at the judge pitifully. The judge shook his head slowly.

"MURPPY FENDLTON! I find you GUILTY…for the murder of this bag of White Claudia! …And maybe those bodies in the ally we found with cat and Walter bites all over their all of them. I sentence you to life riding a bus near Silent Hill. Snarky lady cop: TAKE HIM AWAY!"

And so Murphy was lead away in chains to spend the rest of his life riding a bus near Silent Hill!

Back in an apartment somewhere in Ashfield, Henry Townshend was watching a news report on his bathroom wall. "That guy looks like me," he muttered to himself. "What the hell?"

THE END.