Abigail Griffin's mind was full of names. As a doctor, she knew the thousands of names that made up the parts of a human body, and the thousands more names of the disorders, diseases, and calamities that could unmake it. As an Ark-born woman, she knew the names of the stars, the elements critical for survival, and the science on which that survival depended as they balanced on the razor's edge of extinction hundreds of miles above the Earth. And as Skaikru, her head was full of new names: the names of plants, animals, and weather, along Trigedasleng names and phrases, all making up the fabric of this brave new world.
But, as she looked around the central square of Polis, she found she had no name for the feeling that swelled up in her heart, threatening to overflow.
The square had been filled with rough-hewn long tables and benches that groaned under the weight of the food piled high upon them. The harvest had finished just weeks ago, and boosted by the farming knowledge Skaikru had shared amongst the Coalition, this would be the first year in almost a century that none would go hungry once the snows came. Nearly a thousand people from dozens of clans had filled the square, some from as far away as the Ingranrona tribes to the West.
All evening Abby had been almost overwhelmed by the celebration. From the hours-long exchange of gifts, beginning with Lexa's acceptance of items from each of the clans to celebrate their prosperity under her leadership, all the way down to the boisterous trading of gifts among friends and clansmen. The way the crowd had cheered when the electric lights strung throughout the square—a gift made possible at the hands of Raven kom Skaikru- glimmered to life as the sun began to sink low on the horizon. The color, the music, the delightful and exotic dishes and drinks that passed amongst the tables. Hundreds of Skaikru and Trikru voices swelled into a musical polyglot, laughter and shouting blending in amongst the music from the lute players and drummers wandering the area until everything blended together in a happy cacophony.
She was surrounded by peace. By the fruits of their labor and struggles, both Grounder and Skaikru. By proof that, by working together and walking the harder path to cooperation, both sides had forged a better world.
Abby looked up, towards the slightly raised platform with a massive table on it a few yards in front of her. Her eyes fell upon Clarke, seated at the Commander's right hand, and her heart swelled with pride. Her daughter had been so instrumental in forging this new peace, bridging the seemingly insurmountable gap between the two sides to cajole, coerce, and compromise their way to a path ahead. She had become an outstanding ambassador, Abby acknowledged. And an even finer young woman. As her mother, Abby could not have hoped for more.
Pride. Yes, that was the name for the feeling welling up inside of her. Or maybe contentment, Abby mused.
Clarke leaned to her right, listening to something the Delfikru ambassador whispered before she dissolved into bright laughter, shaking her head in amusement. As she turned away her eyes caught her mother's gaze, and she smiled again as their eyes met, giving a small wave before Lexa gently laid a hand on her shoulder, gaining her rapt attention. The Trikru leader leaned close to Clarke, her face nearly brushing the blonde woman's hair, and Clarke bit her lip for a moment, nodded, and then laughed, her eyes meeting Lexa's with a meaningful look. Lexa stood from the table, speaking briefly to the clan leaders around her before she turned back to Clarke, politely extending her hand to the Skayon, who took it and stood. Together, the two women excused themselves from the table, heading towards the Commander's tower behind them. A pair of bodyguards trailed them, and with a few steps, they were out of sight, lost in the crowd.
There was something else, something elusively nascent that tickled the back of Abby's mind as she watched Lexa and Clarke leaving, but the name of it escaped her. For once, she let they mystery rest. She laughed a little to herself, hiding her smile in her cup as she raised it to her lips.
"I like to hear you laugh," Marcus Kane said from his seat on the bench next to her. His eyes reflected the same bright happiness she felt as he drank in the scene around them.
Abby blushed fiercely and tried to hide it behind as she took a sip of her honey wine.
"You just like the Trikru harvest festival. And the wine," she teased, placing her cup back down on the table.
"Well yes," he acknowledged. "We've worked hard for this moment. All of us. I had hoped when I was Chancellor, that once we hit the ground that maybe, at the end of our lifetime, we might see just a tiny fraction of the peace and bounty we're celebrating today. That it would have been a success to survive and not lose too many of our people. But, thanks to so many, we came together and achieved all this in just over a year. We're not just surviving…we're thriving." He grinned rakishly at her, turning around so that his back rested against the table, his arms resting atop its surface. "Which, in the end, means I get to see you laugh and be happy."
Her blush deepened. Kane shifted, and his hand gently clasped Abby's.
"I would not trade that for anything in the world. Abby, I— "
"Marcus Kane!" Abby and Kane turned to the source of the interruption.
Indra strode confidently up to their table. Abby had hardly recognized the general and chieftain of TonDC without her armor and dressed in soft green and blue hues of homespun cloth when they had first greeted each other earlier in the day. The Trikru woman wore a simple dagger on a belt as the only badge of her station, but her boundless grin was completely disarming.
"I hope you both are enjoying the celebration," Indra said warmly, clapping Kane firmly on the shoulder in greeting as she came to stand next to them.
"Very much so, Indra," Abby replied.
"It's a very special celebration, my friend," Kane added, "though don't think we won't try to outdo you on Unity Day. I expect to see you there," he cajoled.
"I wouldn't miss it," Indra said, laughing heartily. "Now, I came here with a message from the Commander for you both. She asks if you would join her to continue the celebration in private. It is a... smaller gathering, for those most trusted and closest to Heda. It is a great honor and," Kane wasn't entirely sure, because the gesture was so quick, but Indra seemed to wink, "will be an enjoyable end to the festival."
Somewhere in the distance, Abby heard a roar and cheering that she'd learned meant another barrel of Azgeda vodka had been uncorked. It seemed to her like the festival was far from ending…
Marcus glanced at her and then chuckled. "It would be our honor." He got to his feet, gently tugging Abby's hand in his as she stood beside him. Indra's eyes skated over their interwoven fingers and even the stoic warrior could not hide her smile.
"Follow me, please."
They dodged their way amongst the tables, waving and calling out to friends old and new as they passed. Abby grinned as Raven shouted out a greeting in between playful insults to the Grounders gathered around her as she tried to teach them a drinking game involving small burlap bags filled with wheat hulls and two boards with a hole cut in them propped several feet apart. Monty and Jasper caught her eye as they tiptoed closer to the line of kegs, carrying large plastic jugs full of clear liquid, giggling all the while. The Chancellor rolled her eyes; some things never changed. But, as her gaze caught sight of Bellamy seated among a small knot of Trikru and Skaikru warriors as they argued logistical details for an upcoming scouting expedition to the West, maybe some things did change. For the better.
Kane caught sight of her looking at the young man, and he squeezed her hand. As if he could hear her thoughts and know the burdens of her heart. She took reassurance in the touch, and let all the heavy thoughts of the past and their struggles to get to this moment melt away, choosing instead to enjoy the moment.
The noise of the crowd dulled as they entered the tower, making their way up to the upper levels. When they emerged from the elevator, they could still hear the faint babble of voices and music from down below, where the lights twinkled like stars though the windows. As they neared the Commander's quarters, the steady beat of a drum and the skirl of a flute grew louder, along with laughter. Indra looked back at them and smiled before throwing the doors open. As they entered Abby set her face into a serious and official mask. They had been invited as official representatives on one of Trikru's most important holidays, it would not do to—
All thought of rank and station and diplomatic propriety fled her mind as she took in the sight in front of her, feeling her jaw nearly drop.
The furniture in what was the Commander's receiving room had been pushed against the walls. A small group of Trikru warriors had shed most of their ceremonial bodyguard armor and were playing drums, flutes, and what looked like a four-stringed guitar at a bright and cheerful pace. About a dozen other Trikru mingled throughout the space. Some Abby recognized as members of Lexa's innermost circle; warriors, handmaidens, and bodyguards sworn to her service. The Ingranrona ambassador laughed loudly, setting up a keg on a table as he poured a mug from it for a curly-haired Floukru woman Lexa's age who sat on the back of a couch, kicking her leg mischievously and laughing at a nearby bodyguard as he relayed a story that involved him pounding his chest like a pauna.
Clarke and Lexa stood in the middle of the gathering, where a space had been cleared in front of the group of musicians to form an impromptu dance floor. The two young women whirled around each other, circling closer to the rapid rhythm of the music until they were clasped in each other's arms, laughing with sheer joy as they came together. Then the music changed from a fast-paced throb to a slower beat, and Clarke leaned against Lexa. One hand came to rest on the warrior's shoulder, while the other held Lexa's hand, her thumb rubbing the other woman's palm in a slow and gentle rhythm.
Abby took in all of this in quietly. And suddenly the name for the feeling that had bloomed within her when she saw Lexa and Clarke leave the table began to crystallize.
The song ended and Clarke looked away from Lexa, catching sight of her mother and Kane. "Mom!" She shouted happily, leaving the circle of Lexa's arms and crossing the room to greet the two new arrivals. "I'm glad you came." She turned briefly to Indra. "Thank you for relaying the invitation, Indra."
"My pleasure. I'll be around, if you need anything further." The general ducked her head in acknowledgement to the three Skaikru before moving off into the room.
"This has been quite the celebration, Clarke." Abby began, pulling Clarke into a firm hug. "I'm proud of you. For everything."
"Mom, I…thank you." Clarke murmured gratefully, holding the hug for a moment longer. For a moment, they were just mother and daughter, and the Chancellor and Wanheda were nowhere to be found. "I know we all worked so hard to get to this moment, but Lexa is the one who really brought everything together."
"Clarke is too modest, as usual." Lexa strode up to the group, standing next to Clarke and looking at her with a tender glance. She had shed her crimson sash and pauldron and ceremonial sword, and undone the first few buttons of her coat. She seemed almost to glow, radiant and at ease. Her gaze turned to Abby and Kane, glittering with happiness. "Abi and Kane kom Skaikru. I am honored to have you join us here." Neither adult could ever recall seeing the formidable Commander looking like this. Here, away from the weight of duty and expectation, she allowed herself to lay down the mask of Heda.
"Indra explained to us what the invitation meant," Abby began. "We are honored to share in your celebration, Commander. It has been an incredible achievement for you, and it must be incredible to see your vision come to fruition."
Lexa looked at Clarke, who met her questioning glance before they turned back to the two older Skaikru. Lexa briefly cleared her throat, and for a moment something akin to nervousness passed over the Commander. "It is a celebration I wish to share with my closest friends…and those I consider as family," Lexa professed. She smiled softly, tearing her glance away from Abby's before meeting Clarke's eyes. As she did so, her hand closed the space between the two of them, taking up Clarke's hand in her own.
Clarke grinned at the sight of their hands together, and wove her fingers between Lexa's. Her eyes met her mother's. "Mom, I-we…didn't want to hide this any longer." Her throat bobbed and her eyes darkened briefly at some unseen memory. Abby could not know it, but Clarke's thoughts were distant as flashes of memories come unbidden to her: a traitorous advisor siding with a rebellion. A gunshot shattering the peace. Black blood flowing between pale fingers. Whispered prayers and pleas stringing together long nights of a lover's bedside vigil. The doubt and hope in the healers' faces, giving way to relief when green eyes finally fluttered open again. Three words whispered between them-not at the right time, because for them there was never a right time, never an opportunity that wasn't stolen in between the moments shadowed by duty and death-because Clarke couldn't stand the thought of another day passing without Lexa knowing she was not only forgiven, but loved.
Clarke drew her thoughts back to the happier present, the now. "We're at peace, and there's been so many risks, so many close calls. I can't-" Lexa squeezed her hand, bringing Clarke back to the present reassuringly. "I love her. We wanted you to know before we told anyone else."
Abby felt the corners of her lips begin to tilt upward, but she tamped down on her immediate response to the depth of emotion she saw in Clarke's eyes. Her gaze turned to Lexa. All her experience gained as Chancellor paled in comparison to the steel in her voice when she drew on her experience as Clarke's mother.
"Do you love her as she loves you?" Abby asked. She felt, rather than heard, Kane straighten next to her.
Lexa met her gaze evenly and with pride, but without challenge. "I love her with all that I am and will ever be. Her love is the greatest gift I have ever been given, and the most beautiful thing in this world. I would sooner die than betray her love, and the trust she has shared with me. She makes me strive to be not only a better leader, but a better person. I had believed for so long that love was weakness. But when I gave my love to her, I learned that love is the greatest strength. I will love her until my last breath." Lexa's voice was gentle but firm, utterly confident in the admission of her heart.
Abby smiled and cleared her throat, tamping back tears. Clarke stared at Lexa with pride and fiercely undisguised love. Her eyes traveled from their eyes to their clasped hands, and back again. Then the smile she had been withholding broke free.
"Well, you hardly need my blessing, but you have it. Commander or no, I am happy to have another daughter." She extended her hand to Lexa in the manner of her people, and the Commander grasped her forearm as Clarke beamed.
Abby let go of Lexa's arm, smiling as the younger woman reclaimed her daughter's hand. She cleared her throat again as tears of joy threatened to crack her resolve. Behind the younger women, the musicians struck up a happy drumbeat, and the dance floor started to fill. "Now go, you two. Get back to the celebration. We'll be here."
Clarke and Lexa smiled openly at Abby, and then Clarke pulled Lexa back to into the whirling crowd with a joyful laugh. Kane stepped closer to Abby, the back of his hand brushing against hers.
"They look so happy together," he said quietly.
"They do," she replied, smiling. She shifted slightly, taking his hand in hers and pulling him towards the music. "Come on, Marcus. The evening's still young."
And there, in that moment, Abby knew that the name for the feeling that bubbling up in her heart like an overflowing spring had been with her all along: Love.