I found myself at your feet. I was all alone, and I wanted more than anything to cry. Because I should be crying, seeing as this was where you are now. I'm an idiot. I'm kicking myself for what I did. But I thought you didn't care. I thought they messed you up, played with your mind. Who knows, maybe I'm the one who's all bent out of shape.

Now that I'm here I realize that I can't cry. But it's too late. The tears are like acid to a wretch like me. They fill in every crevice, they burn like the fire that destroyed me as they hit my skin. It's then that I remember that I destroyed myself. The worst part is that there's no hand to wipe them all away. Nothing but a numb body and cold steel.

All I feel is anger and hate. I can't go on living like this. I haven't been right since the day…I can't even think about it without my heart breaking. At least it's a comfort, knowing that under this hard shell I still have one. Or did they take it away? Oh, how the heck should I know? Why couldn't I have died? They let the good perish while they strive to save the evil. Maybe you felt the same way I do. Maybe you just gave up.

But I just can't see you doing that. You were the one who cared so much about fighting for what you believe in. If I had one wish but I couldn't wish you back, I would wish that I was there. To see them for once. To hear your last heartbeat. To hear those last words…if only I knew what you said.

They say you can't take possessions with you when you go. But I really hope you kept one thing. It was the last thing I put my whole soul into. You were the last person I cared about…and the last my wrath destroyed. What am I trying to say? I'm sorry? I want to change it? I think I lost it, that last glimmer of hope you were searching for.

I look down and there it is. Its thorns have been cutting into my hand, but I can't feel it. It's all been numb ever since you…went. I feel so guilty and I know I am. The rose I meant to place on your grave has withered and died in my hands. The last piece of my heart shatters. I know now…I killed you. I weakened you until death was all you wanted I did this. I deserve to die.

Everyone I love I destroy. I'm the animal, not what I sought to eliminate. What I wanted to eradicate I became. I'm a hypocrite and a traitor. I don't blame you if you hate me. I think I hate me. You once told me that if you can't be with the love of your life, life isn't worth living. Well, Padme, life's not worthy living anymore.