I'm living a lie. My whole life is a lie. It's hard hiding who I am from the entire universe. If only magic, were allowed I wonder what would be thought of me. Sometimes I feel like Gaius is the only one who really knows me. He gets me through life, even though a lot of the times I just want hide in the corner of my room and cry. The one thing he doesn't understand is what it's like to carry my burden on his shoulders. Every day I struggle hiding my sexuality, trying not to reveal that I'm a sorcerer, and trying to protect the future king of Camelot, who in fact is a royal prat.
The reason why I'm here in Camelot was because my mother kicked me out. She had always told me, as if trying to brainwash me, that boys don't like boys, and that girls don't like girls. I was young at the time but I never really thought much of it. When I was around twelve I started to get these feelings that I didn't understand. It felt like butterflies flapping around in my stomach. But these feelings were not towards girls. They were towards boys. There was this one boy, Lance, whom I had always admired. We went to school together but he was the hot popular football player, and I was the kid his friends were throwing in the dumpster.

Lance wasn't like his friends. He was very noble, and kind. What really made me admire him is that even though I was a loser he stood up for me. He told his friends to back away and he was always there to comfort me. We became very close, even a little too close. For all the years I knew Lance, I always thought that he wasn't like me. I always thought that he liked girls. But that was all until the moment he spent the night at my house this one time.

"Merlin, I can tell you anything right? Can I trust you?" Lance whispered in the softest voice. It sounded a bit like he was scared.

"Lance, you're my best friend you can tell me anything." I said back.

"Merlin, I'm, I'm gay."

The room was completely silent for about ten minutes. All that was going through my head at the time was this can't be true. Lance is a football player he can't be like me. What if I'm the only person who knows? I wonder if he knows that I'm gay. Lance's soft cries broke my thoughts.

"Lance, don't cry. You aren't the only homosexual in this room."

Lance just stared at me, I wasn't sure if he was in shock or he thought I was lying.

"Are you, are you really or are you just saying that to make me feel better?" He said skeptically.

"Why would I lie about something like that? This is who I am, and there is nothing I can do about it."

After that night, Lance and I became even closer than we already were. We would go on hunting trips, talk about cute boys, and we'd go swimming together. Of course our parents had no idea what we were doing. Lance's mother was too busy drinking, and my mother just didn't care, as long as I had friends she didn't mind.

Lance had a lot of issues with his family. His father left him at a young age and his mother was more interested with her bottle of booze more than she was interested in her kids. The two things Lance and I had in common were one, we were both gay, and two we both had no father.

My father died about three years before I met Lance. My father was my hero. He's the one who showed me that I had something special about me, that I had magic. He taught me how to use it properly. He showed me all the coolest tricks in the book, and he taught me some pretty handy ones as well. I was told never to tell anyone who I really was, because if anyone found out I'd be put on the chopping block. My father was a dragon lord. He talked sense into dragons, and convinced them not to burn down the entire city. He told me that when he died, his gift would be passed down to me.

This one day, something went terribly wrong. A dragon was attacking Ealdor, and my father couldn't control its actions. It set him on fire, and I watched him burn to his death. I couldn't let the dragon burn down my father, and my entire hometown, so I decided to see if it was true. That I really was the next dragon lord.

le vada bon gardium

The dragon looked at me, and I looked back at him.

"Why did you do it, why did you attack my town and murder the only father I will ever have?"

"Young Warlock, you don't belong here. Ealdor is not your home. You will soon come to a realization that Camelot is where you belong. You have a destiny to fulfill and one day you will soon see that. I must go, but we'll one day cross paths and meet again" Said the dragon.

"But wait you never answered my question!"

With that he flew off. It was the most devastating day of my life. I never wanted to hear about it again. There was this one time though, that Lance brought up the day of the attack.

"Merlin, do you remember the day that the great dragon attacked the Ealdor?"

"How could I ever forget it?" I responded with a furious tone of voice.

"I saw you, talk to the dragon. Your eyes flashed a golden yellow, and you made it vanish."

This is unreal. Lance cannot know my powers. If anyone found out, I'd sure be dead.

"I'm sorry I really don't want to talk about this right now." I said really trying not to choke on my own tears. It was my first instinct to get up and flee.

"Merlin! Merlin wait!" Lance chased after me. "I didn't mean to upset you in anyway, I just wanted to let you know that, that it's ok! I'll never tell anyone your secret!"

I stopped in my own tracks. Lance caught up to me and he reached out for my arm.

"You must promise, never to tell anybody that I am a sorcerer."

"I promise."

With that Lance pulled me toward him and he kissed me. He then held me and stroked my black hair as I sobbed into his shoulder.