AN: Okay so more humour inbound. This one came to me as I was walking back home through the sporadically busy night-time city streets carrying a similar load to what Jack is here. The image made me chuckle so I just had to share.
Summary: Jack had decided that the air would do him good and now he was walking back home intent on doing nothing but stuffing his face and relaxing with a cold one, but will he get there unscathed? One-shot Jack Humour fic. Enjoy. Rated T for mild swearing.
YEAH RIGHT!
It was dark and Jack's awareness was suddenly piqued. There was someone approaching him from behind and they were coming in fast. 'Probably just a jogger.' he thought to himself. All the same he tensed up, his soldier's instinct automatically preparing him for battle if need be.
Mostly unconcerned he steadily walked on all the while his hearing becoming more acute as he watched the edges of his vision.
A man in a black jacket appeared and made a grab for the box in his hand but as Jack was ready for him he simply tugged it out of his reach. Surprise caused the man to stumble a little.
Jack took advantage of his sudden loss of balance and swung the weighted content of his right hand with as much force as he could muster.
The bag containing his six pack connected full and hard with the would be mugger's temple and sent him reeling.
Between the blow and his own momentum the six foot tall, red haired man ended up in a heap a few feet ahead of his intended mark.
Jack O'Neill did not break his stride. "Go buy your own damned pizza you jerk!" he told him venomously. "Asshole." he muttered as he stepped casually around what was now his own well deserved victim.
He moved on just two more paces before he turned round, still moving away and looked directly back at the man. He pointed his finger, feeling vaguely smug about the fact that the jerk-wad was actually rolling around on the pavement, his head in his hands. "And you better not have burst any of my beers either or you really are in trouble." he warned meaning every single word.
The guy simply groaned.
Bored with the pathetic scene Jack moved on muttering under his breath. "Lousy good for nothing pizza-nappers." This was the second time someone had tried to snatch his take-out box from him on this street. He snorted and shook his head. "Steal my food?" Yeah right! Like that was ever going to happen!
END
AN: He he, go Jack go ;) Go on and let me know if this made you smile :) :) :)