A/N I seem to be in a Merle mood lately. Okay I'm always in a Merle mood. This little romance is based on two very different things from three FF friends. I'll explain in the closing A/N. I'm all about the romance today!
Warning: It's Merle and Beth.
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It had been the same way every night for the past five years. He'd hold her in his arms as they fell asleep and he'd tell himself this was the last time. First thing the next morning he was leaving for good. It'd be alright, she'd be okay, hell she'd be better off without him. He'd leave her plenty of money before he walked out the door.
Then the next morning just like every morning for the past five years he'd wake and she'd be curled up into him, and he'd tell himself today probably wouldn't be the best day to go. She just looked so vulnerable and so sweet laying there against his chest that way, he couldn't break her heart. Not today.
He knew he was lying to himself and that he wasn't worried one bit about breaking her heart. It was his heart that would be breaking and it would stay broken. A man couldn't possibly heal from a loss like that, a hurt like that.
As much as he didn't want it to be true he loved this sweet and tender woman more than he'd ever imagined he could love anyone or anything. Truth of the matter was there were only two people in this world he cared two shits about, Beth and Daryl. Everyone else could fall off the planet and he wouldn't miss them a bit.
And this sweet woman was the only woman who had ever and could ever, bring happiness and love to his heart and peace to his mind.
Five Years Earlier
He walked in the club like he walked in there every Saturday night, with a shit eating grin on his face and looking for a good time. The place was packed and that was the way he liked it, it meant more choices. He stepped up to the bar, ordered a Crown on the rocks and with the drink in hand he took a quick scan of the place. He was checking out possibilities for the evening, a gal who'd be interested in sharing a night of laughs and sex with no strings attached. He wasn't a believer in strings.
Then he spotted her. She was sitting all alone at a table in the corner. She didn't look like she belonged or like she'd come to party. She seemed a little nervous, like she didn't know quite what to do with herself.
She also looked like someone he wanted to know, a lot, in every way he could possibly know her. But he could tell by looking at her she wasn't the kind you just let know what you have in mind, your end game. Yeah she wasn't like most of the women he hooked up with. She appeared to be the kind of sweet thing you had to have a little sensitivity with, take it slow and easy.
It was time to turn on the Merle Dixon charm.
He sauntered over to where she sat, "Hello there miss, I hate ta bother ya but I'm afraid you're in my seat."
"Oh gosh I'm sorry I had no idea anyone was sitting here." She immediately began to stand, hand clasped around that drink she'd been nursing long enough the ice was melted.
"Nah don't ya worry about it. It's real crowded in here this evenin', ain't it? I'll tell ya what, if ya don't mind I'll just go grab a chair from that table over there, looks like they got one they ain't using. I can set it down here with ya. Would that be alright, sharin' the table an all?"
"Oh yes it would and thank you...um…"
"Merle, the name's Merle and what might your name be Miss?"
"I'm Beth."
"It's real nice ta meet ya Beth."
"You too Merle, and thank you for sharing your table with me." Maybe she was a little too sweet because she was making him feel downright guilty for his thoughts, but not guilty enough to be deterred. But guilt was a new feeling for Merle Dixon and he didn't care for it a bit.
"Well I'm mighty proud ta be sittin' here with the prettiest gal in the place." He could tell she was a little embarrassed but on her embarrassed just happened to look real sexy. And he wasn't just saying that, as far as he was concerned she really was the prettiest girl in the place.
About that time the cocktail waitress came around, he leaned over to her, "Would ya let me buy ya a drink Beth? Whatever you'd like ta have."
"Okay but not whatever this was, what do you think is good?'
Aw shit she wasn't even a drinker. He knew it now, he was sure of it, she was way too damn good for a rounder like him. He was going to do the right thing for once in his life because he couldn't live with himself if he didn't. He'd just pay for her drink, excuse himself and get the hell out. He'd head on down to the Bull's Pen and meet up with one of those "well-seasoned" gals. "Lemme order ya up something, how 'bout some goose and juice?" He smiled at his tablemate. She looked a little confused and he asked, "Everythin' okay Beth?"
"Yes but what's goose and juice?" She looked worried and it took all his self-control not to laugh. "It's just a little Vodka, Grey Goose Vodka, with some orange juice."
"Oh yes then, that sounds nice."
He felt that tiny twinge of guilt again but he still didn't let it prevent him from pursuing things with the petite blond. He ordered her drink and another Crown on the rocks for himself.
About the time the waitress brought their drinks the band started to play. He let a couple of fast ones go by, he was waiting for a slow song. He'd like to at least put his arms around her once before he left and moved on. On the third song they played an old George Strait tune appropriately titled "I Just Wanna Dance With You."
He smiled and held his hand out to her, "Would ya care ta dance Beth?"
She smiled and gave him her hand and he felt himself being sucked right into her sweet little web, he wasn't even fighting back. He took her in his arms and as they danced that country waltz and he couldn't recall any other woman feeling so good, so much like she fit just right in his arms. He knew then he'd lost the battle. What he didn't know then was he'd lost the war.
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She worked in the accounting department in the school district building downtown. She enjoyed her job most of the time and the people she worked with were all great folks. They'd bring cakes on people's birthdays, and there were potluck lunches, and everyone would sit around the table in the break room and talk about the latest news. It was all good stuff.
It was just that she was 22 years old, single and new in town. They all had spouses and families and they went home to those families after work. She went home alone.
The job was fine but it didn't do a thing to bolster her personal life.
It wasn't like she'd ever been some big party girl, but she had thought when she left home and moved to a busy city maybe she'd have some kind of adult social life. A glass of wine after work with her coworkers, a shopping trip with another woman from the office, something, anything. Instead it seemed like she spent her "free" time alone.
She'd get out on the weekends, go to the farmer's market or take in a movie, treat herself to an overpriced cup of specialty coffee on Saturday morning. It was fine but she wanted more from her life, so much more.
She'd been asked out a few times, guys she met at the coffee shop, or the grocery store, and one who worked in the building maintenance department. All nice enough guys, but they just didn't give her that feeling that she'd care to pursue anything beyond the first date.
Then one day she'd spotted him and she swore her heart went right to her throat. It was September and hotter than blazes when the air conditioning in the offices had just completely quit working. Fans were brought in, heck she even brought her own from home and set it up in her small cubicle, but it didn't help much.
He was the HVAC guy who'd come to save the day. She was stuck back there at her desk but she heard him talking with the receptionist, a very nice woman named Jacqui. He was loud, boisterous even, and very funny. She found that booming voice of his sent a little shiver skittering right down her spine.
She'd find reasons to peek around her partition and watch him as he was climbing up his ladder and inspecting the duct work. And she watched him as he methodically took apart the thermostat and checked for whatever in the world a person checked for with these things. He looked incredibly masculine and downright sexy no matter what he did.
She found it made her sad when he left the office area to check on the units themselves.
Who can explain these things? Sometimes your heart just gets a mind of its own. He wasn't even her type, or at least what she'd always thought of as her type. She usually went for a guy a lot closer to her age for one thing. And more traditionally handsome. This man looked a little rough around the edges, like he'd seen things, done things, led a big life. She thought it looked real, real good on him and she was real, real taken in.
At break she casually asked Jacqui, "My gosh who was that guy you were talking to? I could hear him clear down in my cubicle."
Jacqui smiled widely, "That was the one and only Merle Dixon, owner of Dixon's Heating, Ventilation and Air Conditioning. He's quite the character. Dangerously charming that one is."
Beth decided to just go for it, ask, why not? "Well I thought he was very handsome, what do you know about him? Is he married?"
Jacqui's smile grew even wider. "Well besides owning the HVAC business, and always managing to fix any issues with our heating and air conditioning, I hear he's a little wild. I heard he spends his weekend evenings either at the Rendezvous Room or the Bull's Pen. All I can say is good luck Beth, no one's managed to rein him in and settle him down yet!"
Beth was smiling to herself. Okay challenge accepted, she was going to figure out how to meet Merle Dixon. She knew she was being crazy and that she was unreasonably obsessed with a man she'd never spoken even one word to. But she couldn't help it and she didn't care. She wanted him even if it was just one time.
Saturday she went for her coffee but she got it to go and made a beeline straight to Bev's Nail Shoppe for a mani / pedi. Then she went to Caprice Boutique Fashions and got herself a new pair of skinny jeans, and a pretty little off the shoulder blouse. It managed to look sexy and modest at the same time. She was walking a fine line, she wanted to look hot but not "easy." In spite of her plotting and planning she didn't want him to think she was just some kind of easy pickings, that wasn't really her. It was just that she felt desperate to meet him, and he didn't seem like the kind of man whose eye would land on prim and proper. She needed to strike a balance.
She did the smoky eyes like Maggie had taught her and let her hair go about half as curly as it wanted to. It gave it a full and what she hoped was a sexy look.
She flipped a coin, Bull's Pen or Rendezvous Room? She called a cab and went to the winner, the Rendezvous Room. It was still early when she walked in and she easily found a table for two. She ordered a scotch and soda because she knew nothing about alcohol and she thought that sounded so sophisticated. She'd never tasted anything so awful. But she tried to appear as though she were sipping and enjoying it.
She spotted him the minute he walked in. She was almost shaking with a weird combination of hope, anticipation and excitement. She couldn't just stare over at him, but it was so hard to turn her gaze away from the big, rough, handsome man.
She thought she'd die on the spot when he walked up to her and claimed that she was sitting in his chair. She wanted to laugh and tell him he was full of it, but more than that she wanted him there. She played along with his game. Willing prey, playing it sweet, innocent and clueless.
She was having fun and she was also becoming more and more smitten, and when he held her in his arms and waltzed her around that dance floor, that's when she knew for sure. The only arms she would ever want to feel holding her belonged to Merle Dixon.
They continued to talk, listen to the music and dance to the slow songs. The last song they danced to was "Come a Little Closer," and when it ended it was all they could do to let go of one another.
When they got back to the table he asked if she needed a ride home, adding he'd be more than happy to make sure she arrived safely. "Oh that's so nice of you to offer and I could use a ride, I'd planned on calling a cab."
"No need for that Sweetie, ol' Merle here will get ya home no problem." He smiled his biggest smile but his thoughts kept going to why he shouldn't take her, why he should have left earlier, why he should put her in a cab, hand the driver a twenty and forget he'd ever met her.
He was too old for her, she was too innocent, somehow she even seemed too small, she was too pretty, he drank too much, he'd had too many women, he was too cantankerous and way too mean and hot tempered. She deserved a better man than he would ever be.
But when he looked in those big blue eyes all he could think about was how he just had to have her. Still he was determined to see her home, see her safely in her door and get the hell out. Be on his way.
She was thrilled he'd offered her a ride home but also nervous and a little scared. She'd been full of boldness when she'd told herself that if she got his attention, and he was interested, she didn't care. She had to have him even if it was just once.
But the truth was she didn't have much experience, she'd only had one relationship. They'd been awkward, the sex had been awkward and the whole thing had ended badly.
But whatever possessed her now had nothing to do with thinking things through or common sense. She and Merle weren't even quite to her door when she took his hand, "Please come in for a while and keep me company."
Her words were a come-on for sure, but her tone and her manner were not. Something about the way she said it, the woman that she was; it came off more like a simple invitation.
"A'ight I can come in for a few, but I shouldn't stay long." Those were the last words Merle Dixon ever spoke as a single man.
They were seated on her sofa and he was just planning to kiss her that one time, then get his ass out. Trouble was, once he started he couldn't stop and she didn't indicate even for a moment she'd want him to stop.
She sent a shockwave right through him when she so sweetly asked, "Do you think we should go to my bedroom?"
No he did not think so, that would be a very bad idea for a man who was trying to do the honorable thing. But the man he was, Merle Dixon, that man stood, he bent down lifted her up in his arms and carried her to the room where he gently laid her on the bed. She smiled up at him but he could see she was nervous, "Ya sure about this Sweetie, I ain't insistin' on this ya know, I hadn't even thought it might happen." And that was not a lie.
"I've never been more sure Merle." And it was true, and as nervous and almost panicky as she felt, she wanted him any way that could have him.
He nodded his head, leaned down and slipped her shoes off, then bent to remove his own. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt never taking his eyes from her, and hers never left him. He lay down next to her and pulled her close to him. Again he asked, "You're sure?" As much as he wanted her it was almost impossible for him to believe she would offer herself to him this way.
She could almost read his thoughts and he was so right. This was not the woman she was, she was taking a huge step away from that woman.
This may not be her first time but he knew it wasn't far from it. He felt guilty but not guilty enough that he wanted to stop. And every time he asked her if she wanted him to she said "No, I want you."
He did everything he could to bring her satisfaction, it was far more important to him than him getting his. And when he'd accomplished his goal it was true, he got his greatest pleasure pleasing her.
It had always been his way to leave a woman once the deed was done, but with Beth he'd planned to hold her for just a little while. Let her fall asleep. Not so much of a hit and run, he thought more of her than that. So he held her in his arms and he lightly stroked her hair and told her how beautiful she was, how he didn't know why she'd allowed him this but that he was so happy she had, and he told her no woman had ever brought him more pleasure. All of these things were the truth.
The more he spoke these words to her the stronger he felt them, and the closer her body seemed to move into his.
He was genuinely surprised to wake up in her bed the next morning. He hadn't planned on that. But he couldn't move now, he'd wake her. Instead he just watched her, this beauty, this perfect woman that he was so fortunate to have in his arms. His staring must have caused her to wake and when she slowly opened her eyes and looked at him all he could do was smile, "Mornin'."
And it thrilled him that rather than turn away with remorse or embarrassment she smiled back, "Good morning Merle."
"I better get goin' Sweetie, thank ya for the wonderful evenin'."
"Well alright if you have to, but will you come back after a while?"
"Why Sweeite? You can do so much better than the likes a me." He softly stroked her cheek with the backs of his fingers.
"I don't want anyone else, I want you."
The way her eyes searched his, the way she felt in his arms, he couldn't help himself. "I'ma just go on ta my place, clean up an take care of a few things. I'll be back about five an we'll go have us some dinner, how's that sound?"
She put her hand on his cheek and said, "It sounds good but if you can come back sooner I'll be here."
"I can see it now Sweetie, you're gonna be the ruin a this ol' boy ain't ya?"
Two weeks in she told him she loved him, he didn't know how in the world that could possibly be true. But he professed his love for her right back. And he thought to himself that his love for her was the very reason he had to go, he loved her too much to stay.
But he never spent another night away from her. He owned his own home but he only seemed to get there once or twice a week to check on things, do a couple of loads of laundry and get his mail. Somehow he always seemed to stay the night in her little apartment.
After two years he finally told his brother to get out of that trailer he was living in and move into his place. Just temporarily of course, just until he told her he had to go for good.
Three years in she admitted to him she'd showed up at the Rendezvous Room to try and catch his eye, she confessed it all. She thought he'd be mad at her for deceiving him but instead he laughed that big rowdy laugh of his, put his arms around her and said, "Ya let ol' Merle believe all this time that I was one smooth cat. Ha, ya fooled me good Sweetie."
Still he tried every day to leave and every day he told himself that the next day would be the day he did.
And now this very morning, five years later he told himself that again. That he'd leave her the next morning, because the timing was off for this morning.
That evening he got home at his usual time, 5:30. She was right there on the other side of the door as he walked in. The sight of her never failed to bring a smile to his face. "Hey Sweetie."
She smiled back, "Hey yourself Merle Dixon. Why don't you have a seat in your chair, let me get you a cold beer."
"I don't know how I could turn down an offer like that."
She went to the kitchen and got the beer for him, cracked it and slid into his lap as she handed him his beer. He had an arm loosely around her, a cold beer in his hand and he was thinking a man couldn't be happier than this right here.
He took a swallow of the beer and then she put her hands to either side of his face, "I have big news Merle, you're going to be a Daddy."
It was a damn good thing he was sitting because what she'd said rendered the big man weak. He was surprised and confused and almost without words, almost. "Beth I love ya, ya know I do, but why? Why would ya want this? I don't get it."
This couldn't be happening, now what would he do? He couldn't leave her, not with a baby. "Sweetie this ain't gonna be some part time gig. Ya gotta know this means we're in it for the long haul."
"I've been in it for the long haul since the night we met, it's you who's always thinking about leaving."
Now she'd really caught him off guard. "Why are ya sayin' that? What makes ya think sumthin' like that would be true?"
"I know Merle, I know you doubt yourself, you doubt me, you doubt us. I don't doubt any of it. It's right. It's good and I'm so happy, you make me happy. It's been that way since that night five years ago."
"I never doubted ya for a minute Beth, but ya gotta know I ain't the right man, ya deserve better."
"There isn't any better, you're the best."
They moved into his house and his brother moved into her smaller place. They got married in their own backyard with just her family and his brother there. He didn't think he could handle any more than that small ceremony, he still hadn't been able to wrap his mind around the idea that she loved him and wanted him in her life forever.
Seven months later Merle Dixon brought his wife and his baby boy home. He settled the little man in his bassinet and her in their bed. They were both asleep in minutes. His sweet wife was exhausted from childbirth and his fine young son exhausted from being born.
And as Merle Dixon watched them knew he'd never want to leave them and he never would.
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A/N Thanks so much for taking the time to read this little romance. When I first started writing FanFiction texasbelle91 asked me to write a Brick one shot based on an old George Strait tune, The Chair, which I did. Recently AwkwardPause069 asked me if I'd write a one shot based on The Chair and said she wouldn't mind if it was Daryl, Rick or Merle. I had to break the news to her, I'd already done it. Then a couple of weeks ago kevkye tagged me in wonderful photo on FB just because she's sweet. It was Michael Rooker (Merle himself) holding a tiny baby. Somehow all these things came together and I ended up writing this. The way they meet in the bar is reminiscent of the song, and the photo of the big guy with the sweet baby went right to my heart. I thank my girls for sending me their prompts. I always welcome them, just PM me. Please leave a comment /review x gneebee
I've posted the chap photo to my tumblr blog bethylmethbrick, oh and AwkwardPause069 sent me the Rooker photo I used! Also, although I didn't use it as the chap photo, I also posted the one kevkye sent me of Rooker and Baby. Aw... Thank you all again, I love ya large! xo gneebee