AN: Ok so my mind is warped and twisted and when I get together with Cassie, we are unstoppable! Really scary seeming I now live with her huh? Lol! Anyway, so we were talking about what a weird crossover SG1 and Criminal Minds would be, but I wanted to do it! I mean really, putting Jack and Dave in a room together would be hilarious! Ok don't with the rant, on to the story! Woot! Dedicated to Cassie, cause she's one of my few true friends.

Disclaimer: I own the insanity about to ensue.

PS- if you don't know SG1, just know Jack is General of the Stargate program for the air force and he's more sarcastic than Dave!

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Jack walked into the FBI building on the Quantico Marine Base. He shuddered. Marines. A bunch of macho men and women who liked to stick their noses into Air Force business. Although he laughed. Reynolds was a Marine and one of Jack's closest friends.

"Hold the door" a strong Italian voice called out as Jack stepped into the elevator. Jack pressed the open door button and waited for the tall man with salt and pepper hair to jump in. One the doors closed Dave pressed the button for the 7th floor. Jack's finger was suspended in mid air. He didn't know what floor he needed to go to. "Who are you going to see?"

"The director and I have lunch plans" Jack said. Dave smiled and leaned back.

"Same floor then General" he said. Jack looked at him. "Marine" Dave said. Jack nodded.

"Jack" he said, offering Dave his hand. Dave smiled and shook his hand.

"Dave" he responded. The two men smiled in mutual agreement and waited for the elevator to get to the desired floor. "You came all the way to Quantico for lunch?" Dave asked, amusement in his voice. Jack shrugged.

"Politicians ran me out of town, again" Jack said with a laugh. Dave nodded. He knew that feeling well.

"Yes, I seem to piss politicians off as well. Something about them not being able to handle the truth and get mad when I lose my patience with them" Dave said smiling. Jack laughed. Just then the elevator lurched to a stop and the lights flickered.

"Oh this is just great" both men moaned. Jack slumped against the side of the elevator and watched as Dave frowned while pressing the call help button. Stupid thing wasn't working.

"Well, I guess this gives us time to get to know one another" Jack said, flopping to the floor. Dave took a seat on the wall opposite of him and both men stretched their legs out and sighed, letting their heads flop back against the wall. "So, what do you do?"

"Profiler" Dave answered. He looked at Jack with a smirk. "I'd ask what you do, but I don't think I have a high enough security clearance" he laughed. Jack chuckled.

"Hell, I don't think I have high enough security clearance for it" he said. Dave laughed and both sighed. Jack played with his ring finger, causing Dave to profile him in the small setting they were trapped in.

"Your wife works for you, there were years when you couldn't be together, so you took this position to finally be able to do something about it and you may hate the job, but you couldn't be happier" Dave said. Jack looked at him in shock.

"What are you, a mind reader? A Goa'uld?" Jack asked with a laugh. Dave gave him a curious look as he just shook his head. That was a conversation for another day.

"No just spend too much time in the heads of Unsubs. Normal people are easy to read" Dave said.

"Un- sub?" Jack sounded out. Dave nodded.

"Bad guys" he explained just as he had to Henry when the little guy had asked the first time. Jack nodded and sighed once more. Just then the elevator started back up. "Thank gods" Dave muttered as both men grunted and moaned, listening to bones creek and crack as they pushed themselves up off of the floor.

"Nice meeting you" Jack said as they exited the elevator and went in separate directions. Jack turned and watched as Dave greeted a beautiful blonde just as he remembered greeting Sam after time apart. He smirked. He and Dave were just too much alike.

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AN: Damn, I wanted humor, but I don't think I got it, oh well. Thanks for reading now please let me know what you thought!