Tales of the New Realm
The Wisdom of Daria
"This feels so wrong." Daria complained to Griselda.
"You will catch each and every rat in the greenhouse and set it free in the forest." Griselda crossed her arms and watched Daria and James closely. "A little hard work will teach you to obey the rules and not gleefully do what you want."
"Kind of takes the joy out of living." Daria whispered.
Griselda watched James snatch a rat in his hand and fight his urge to kill and eat it. She had to give him credit – he was fast and had a fine set of eyes. He placed it in the metal cage and went back to find more.
Daria had embarked upon an argument with a rose bush and she gave the offensive rosebush with its crimson roses a loud and shrill hiss.
"Impatience leads to careless accidents." Griselda preached. "You are young and still learning the most important rules in life."
"When in doubt, lie?" Daria examined her finger.
"Actions have consequences." Griselda could have harped upon the way Daria spoke her mind and had a bad attitude but she didn't want Daria to embark on one of her infamous hissing tirades. "I understand the differences between us yet I have faith in your ability to learn to work together with humans."
"Lactating freakishly ugly primates with two ovaries." Daria muttered as she grabbed a white and black spotted rat which squirmed and then bit her small hand.
Griselda wanted to embark on a lecture about being a smart ass but Daria flapped and hissed and shrieked as she held the rat in her hand and then dropped it on the ground when it bit her hand. The rat hit the ground running as Daria did what she did best – lost her temper.
"Can't you talk to her?" Griselda shouted to James. "She gets awfully loud and such behavior doesn't suit a young lady."
"I could but it never works." James shrugged and twitched his wings. "Daria has a temper – she does this because its in her nature – female celespids are surly."
No one had any idea why Magix Central Television played Mussorgsky Pictures at an Exhibition to begin the broadcast day as an animated logo materialized on the screen.
Daria remained true to her surly nature and hissed at the TV.
"Come on...you have rats to catch." Griselda stood over Daria and had a wicked grin on her face.
Daria hissed and showed her fangs.
"Now what?" James picked up the remote and turned the dorm room TV off.
"We all know she's bluffing and I can defend myself against her." Griselda resisted the urge to poke her but dreamed of hitting her with a rolled up newspaper. "Up...up...I expect you to be ready in five minutes."
Griselda walked out of the dorm room and let the door slam.
"Why do you co-operate with the humans – specifically that one?" Daria asked James. "You could have refused to let her in."
"She has the key." James shrugged.
"I will deal with you later." Daria curled back up into a ball. "Go help Griselda."
"What about you?" James said urgently.
"I'll be along in due time." Daria spoke from inside the ball formed by her wings. "I have important matters to attend to – namely what I'll do to you for bothering me at five in the morning. Now go!"
"Hello." James greeted Griselda as he walked into the greenhouse.
"Where is Daria!?" Griselda barked and handed an empty wire cage to James.
"We both know the answer to that question." James told Griselda.
Griselda gripped the other wire cage.
"I need to have a word with her." Griselda felt the righteous fury of a woman who had to discipline a defiant child. "Does she think she can do as she pleases?"
"We also know the answer to that query." James faced Griselda. "She does think she can do whatever she pleases and she's right in most cases. The main difference between Daria and an atomic bomb is that you can diffuse the bomb."
"You get to work James." Griselda marched off to deal with Daria. "I will not have any of this defiant attitude from her – she has to obey our rules like everyone else."
"Where did she go?" Griselda didn't see Daria on the couch blowing off work and she had a sudden feeling of unpleasant dread.
Small and agile, Daria flew out the door right past Griselda.
Griselda could feel the wash of air as Daria flew out into the hallway.
"I need to have a word with you!" Griselda called out as a few first year students looked out from their rooms.
Daria could haul and she flew in a tight turn upside down and then flew back and stood on Griselda's shoulder. Griselda felt the temptation to use magic on her but as magic had no effect on Daria; Griselda gave this a second thought as she had no idea just how Daria might take the attempt.
"This makes it more like a hostage negotiation." Daria calmly folded her wings and defiantly sat on Griselda's shoulder.
Griselda had no doubt of this. Daria had her spear shaped tail in wait to rake her across the back if she so chose. Unlike a true villain; Daria had never gone out of her way to harm someone but she didn't have need of this given her skill at annoying humans. Unlike any foe, Daria had a strong immunity to magic and any action Griselda could take would bounce off the girl's thick skull.
The term 'demon' had no scientific merit in classifying Daria but it came close to describing her spirit. Griselda had heard most of the noises Daria and James made and all of them irritated humans. She had seen James translate from a hiss to human speech and understood their calls to be a kind of language. Doctor Passerine had explained these loud calls had evolved out of the necessity to communicate to a large flock of other social Celespids as they flew.
Daria and James made use of a flute like maze of tubes in their throat and this explained why they looked like they had an Adams apple. Griselda had none of these facts in mind when Daria let out a sharp, shrill sheet metal cutter inspired hiss which did not so much hit her as a sound but detonated as a bomb.
"Stop that – you'll wake everyone up." Griselda stopped to let her ears stop wringing and took the wise precaution of grabbing Daria by her feet. "You will put in your work and Faragonda will have a full report of your miserable, shameful conduct."
Bloom sipped a cup of tea as she sat with Stella to prepare for the day and she heard the loud hissing shriek.
"Daria has a few complaints." Stella pondered.
Bloom yawned.
"Griselda caught up with her - somehow." Bloom had been fully briefed on the events of the previous day. "Daria will have to find rats in the greenhouse and she's going to let everyone know she finds this unfair and repressive. Daria finds doing anything she doesn't feel like doing unfair and repressive."
Stella jumped up from her seat as Daria let out a loud sound like a chorus of demons from Hell.
"She has dedication – I'll give her that." Bloom stood up. "She hates Griselda with dedication. I should see if I can find a way to calm things down."
Griselda was, in her own way, as determined as Daria. If Daria wanted a test of wills; Griselda could test her will. Griselda had to hold onto Daria's legs, avoid hurting the little girl, not manage to sustain permanent hearing loss, avoid being clubbed by Daria's wings, stabbed by her tail or bitten. Griselda picked the wrong creature to battle wits with.
"Hello." Bloom waved in greeting. "You two have a few issues to work through."
"I am the one who administers discipline – Bloom." Griselda gripped Daria's feet but Daria had begun to flap and gain some much needed extra power from her wings.
Daria reminded Bloom of a raven caught by the legs.
"I know this but Daria doesn't care." Bloom faced Griselda and spoke in an urgent voice to send her point home. "She's a three year old girl and a woman she hasn't come to know yet has her caught by her feet and won't let go."
"If I let go; she'll fly off." Griselda braced her ears for another loud shriek.
Daria had taken it as her duty to hiss and she hissed and flapped.
"If you don't let go; she'll fly off." Bloom added with some concern for Griselda's safety. She didn't think a little girl could fly off with a middle aged woman but Daria could knock people sprawling over with her powerful wings. "Don't let the angry bird act fool you; she's quite smart and knows she can put up a fuss longer than you can hold on. She can dislocate your shoulder with a well aimed blow from those wings if she loses patience."
Griselda had aching arms and she let go.
Daria flew off in a huff. Griselda gained an appreciation of her strength and speed as she watched Daria fly down the spiral stairs.
"So we let her do what she wants?" Griselda sternly admonished Bloom.
"She isn't human." Bloom tried to explain and spoke with some sadness. "You won't get anywhere with her unless you earn her loyalty and respect. In her little world of social rules; she's trying to assert herself as a dominant female in a group of females. James is quiet and respectful because as a male; he has the hard wiring to obey females. Daria instinctively needs to try to assert herself when someone she has no relationship confronts her."
"She can't do as she wants." Griselda rubbed the sore hand she used to hold Daria.
"No she can't but she's kind of confused." Bloom apologetically said.
Daphne found Daria hiding behind an audio video cart with a PC and projector in the AV closet on the second floor of Alfea's classroom wing.
"What are you doing in here?" Daphne asked kindly.
Daria looked around the room.
"I wanted advance warning if you intended to show us another video." Daria came out from behind the cart. "I like to plan my naps."
Daphne didn't fully understand Daria's humor but had respect for her as a fine student.
"I'm afraid we have a film; and I need to make use of that projector." Daphne answered honestly. "I also want you awake in my class but for now can you come out from your hiding place?"
Daria walked out of her hiding place.
"At least I'll have some entertainment as you try and work that thing." Daria had no idea why but Daphne had some issues with computers and the last time she had plans to show a video; she took half an hour to conjure up and focus an image on the projector and failed leaving the task for a student to complete.
"Like you, I'm new to the human realm." Daphne confessed as she pushed the cart out of the room. "Don't worry; you'll grow accustomed to them."
"I see – I keep fighting the urge to yell at them." Daria followed Daphne out of the room. "I've met one or two who try my patience because they keep making me do things I don't want to do."
"I've felt the same way." Daphne liked Daria despite her abruptness, impatience and bad temper because Daria and even James didn't pretend to be anything but what their natures made them so she could understand them even if she didn't want to eat rats. "I found the secret to doing things I don't want to do is looking forward to doing things I want to do. You have to go to class now; but you can go out and fly and chase things when class lays out."
"I have no idea how long I'll live," Daria answered over the squeaky wheels of the cart, "so I want to live and not waste time in case I only live five years."
"You'll live much longer than that." Daphne pushed the lecture hall door open as Daria pushed the cart through. "You and your mate are pretty tough – a sign of quality construction."
"Congratulations on your purchase of a quality made Laser Video Projector." Daria pedantically read from the manual hung by a wiring strap from the cart.
"Good morning Doctor." Griselda sat behind her desk. "I asked you here for advice."
"Good morning Griselda – how can I help?" Docotor Passerine placed his Tilley hat on his lap.
"I have not reached through to Daria." Griselda placed her hands on her desk blotter. "Not only won't she listen to me, she goes out of her way to confront me. If I don't have her respect how can I help her learn how to live with us."
"She isn't human and will never live with humans." The Doctor made his case bluntly. "Daria will learn to tolerate and even live amid humans; but she can never be a human. You have a problem because you keep thinking she'll respond like a teenage student at Alfea. She fooled you because she's intelligent and cute but she has a different nature."
"How do I keep her from disrupting order at Alfea?" Griselda began to voice impatience because she found the good doctor evasive. "She punched holes in the wall and broke a window."
"The boy didn't break the window on purpose." Doctor Passerine explained patiently. "He made a mistake – he failed to see glass because Celespids have trouble seeing reflections. Celespids need to see the prey and not fall victim to a reflection off water which might fool them. Glass looks like water in many cases and so the boy flew into it because he never saw it for what it was. He probably won't do that again and neither will Daria. In case you should worry; they have a very sturdy build and can take the impact of hitting a window with no harm. They have a robust build – the tanks of the the air."
Griselda looked ashamed for a moment. She had not asked about Jame's welfare in spite of the injuries he might have sustained.
"They damaged the wall by mistake." Doctor Passerine said in a detached voice. "They usually make noise and act out to to enrage wasps and eat them as they fly around. They hunt ants by bashing or ripping into their nests. They hunt ants by digging and bashing into the underground nests but this is learned – they've had no one to teach them."
"How can I relate to the girl?" Griselda abruptly changed the subject because she realized her mistake. "I can talk to James but Daria hates me."
"She doesn't hate you. Humans have to learn how to cope with each other – often with regrettable results." Doctor Passerine corrected Griselda. "Daria's kind have much more of their social behavior hard wired – the females lead and males follow. This makes sense for creatures designed to hunt in packs over vast areas – this hard wiring makes the rules of the pack clear and easy to follow – they all can concentrate on the problem of finding food."
"I appreciate the biology lesson but how does this help me cope with her?" Griselda said in a grumpy voice. "She has a bad attitude and won't listen."
"She's wired to challenge you." Doctor Passerine told Griselda bluntly. "If she weren't rude, loud and demanding; I'd be less certain she was a Celespid. She has no idea she can be so frustrating – I've had the distinct pleasure of working with her. I had more hair before I met her but patience is required. Daria won't listen to you because she has no reason – so I recommend giving her a good reason for listening."
"We don't have corporal punishment at Alfea." Griselda stuttered.
"And that is a good thing." Passerine nodded. "I certainly hope this institution never had a habit of beating small animals."
"I didn't mean – nevermind." Griselda said abruptly.
"She responds to bribery." Passerine regained his proper composure. "Find something you can offer her in exchange for some level of compliance with her requests. I had to give her rats to farm - that had unintended consequences – I didn't foresee the resourcefulness of our guests. I must take some responsibility for teaching her animal husbandry."
"We still have rats in the school." Griselda gave the Doctor a long cold stare. "Aside from being reckless; you should have anticipated they would get up to no good with the rats. You should have consulted me before making them that kind of offer."
"I apologize." The Doctor leaned forward. "I'm a guest at Alfea and I let my scientific curiosity get the better of my judgement." He creaked his chair quietly. "May I suggest you make Daria an offer? Let her hunt the rats in return for following your injunctions. Making her and James collect and set the rats free makes both of them very unhappy and goes against their standards of decency – wasting food."
"I'll give it some thought." Griselda said thoughtfully. The greenhouse is Flora's responsibility and she has concerns about what damage those two could do to her plants."
"Bloom!? Can you tell me where Daria has gone to?" Griselda knocked on the door of the Winx dorm room.
"What did she do this time?" Bloom placed her pencil down and hoped she might remember to pick up where she had left off with her sketch. "A Friday evening without any issues from our resident flying rat killer was too much to ask for?"
James sat on the couch and had the Bluetooth headset on. She didn't find this at all surprising as the science fiction channel had Star Trek Fridays – he needed me time as much as anyone.
He pressed pause on the remote and took off the headset.
"Is anyone home?" Griselda called through the door.
"Sorry." Bloom opened the door. "What can I do for you ma'am?"
"I need to talk with Daria." Griselda said tartly. "Would you know where she is – James?"
"In the potion lab doing homework – I think." James tilted his head. "She said she'd be there until nine or so."
"Did you get your work done?" Griselda stood in front of James.
"I did. I succeeded in making a cucumber tell me something trivial – pertaining to dirt." James admitted. "Come to think of it; she completed her work but she wanted to explore the usefulness of the potion or something like that. She wondered if she might come to enjoy salad if she could hear the veggies scream or something like that."
"Isn't that somewhat cruel?" Bloom interjected.
"Not compared to what a salad might do to her." James answered back as he rocked from side to side on his sturdy tail. "Not to mention beets and soy – something to do with our inability to process fiber."
"Very well...have a nice evening." Griselda left abruptly.
"Right in the middle of the Picard Manoeuvre." James commented on the paused image.
"Funny how you can understand the Star Trek universe and yet our customs confuse you." Bloom patted James affectionately on the head and returned to her drawing.
"What do you hope to accomplish young miss?" Griselda peered over Daria's shoulder. Some part of Griselda didn't trust a creature with such brain power and yet had such a primitive and ignoble evolutionary lineage – Doctor Passerine hinted her order of reptiles might have evolved from the first ones to crawl the deserts of Solaria.
"The idea of a talking plant sounds intriguing." Daria told Griselda honestly but then her voiced turned to disappointment. "When you really think about it; plants don't have much to say. I tested countless plants in the halls and I either know nothing about plants or the faculties of speech are wasted on them. Most of them either like the dirt or as is the case with the ficus by the main entrance don't have enough water."
Griselda found Daria's candor unsettling but this time Daria sounded calm and content, not enraged.
"So you can work hard at something when it intrigues you – very interesting." Griselda approved of student initiative even if the potion lab might be at risk from a careless Daria. "That could help you take better care of the plants."
"If I cared about their welfare – and I don't." Daria replied with her gritty honesty as she held up the glass bottle of the potion. "I can't say the results surprised me but at least I know with more certainty that if I could talk to the plants I'd have an immensely boring life."
"At least you work neatly." Griselda observed. "Some of the girls leave this place in a state."
"Stella blew this place up. I have no such plans." Daria remarked as she sat on the counter and took a few notes in her notebook. "I have no magic for defence and so I'd hate to blow myself up in a school for fairies – such a shameful death. The smell of burning me would linger on for weeks."
Griselda found this a grim commentary but took comfort in the fact Daria could curb her reckless side.
"Anyhow I have a few notes to make on this subject and then I'm off to bug Flora for not watering the fichus." Daria held her pencil in her left hand and hopped nad half flapped off the table. "I will then see if James is watching Star Trek – I have much to learn from the Klingons."
Daria walked off and had left the lab as she found it.
Griselda felt pleased and relieved that the conversation had gone smoothly. She worried about setting off the already temperamental Daria but that hadn't happened and she had not expected Daria to be such a good and capable student although her teachers had praised her skill and discipline.
"You can use my Netflix account." Tecna offered as Daria grabbed the remote from James. "I'll give you my password and you can watch TV in your place rather than watching all those violent shows on our TV."
Tecna held out a piece of printer paper with the log in information.
"Don't get us wrong – we love you two." Stella came into the room with a silver tray that held a rose themed tea set with gold trim. "We'd love to have our couch back to watch WOW."
"You can watch it with us." Bloom followed Stella with the cream and sugar set.
"I wouldn't go that far." Flora came into the room. "I can't imagine you want to watch a pop music talent show."
"You can perch on the top of the couch but you can't hog the couch." Bloom gave Daria a long hard look as if to say 'try me'.
Daria sat on her shoulder and James perched on Stella's.
"We'll call that a compromise." Stella said happily as James balanced himself on her left shoulder with his wings. James didn't weigh very much and was enough like a bird to prove good company. Bloom had less confidence in Daria – she braced for a loud, eardrum busting hiss but Daria settled down and sat politely.
"The Doctor must have mickey finned your rats with something." Tecna sat down next to Bloom and Daria and for a moment looked into Daria's amber eyes for any hint of being drugged. Tecna doubted this: Daria and James like all their kindred species had the livers of a top of the line alcoholic and were very experienced at barfing up anything offensive in defence of their weak livers. "Just so long as you don't throw up again."
"Am I in time?" Roxy shouted excitedly as she rushed in the dorm room and closed the door with a bang.
"You've seen me throw up before..." Daria nodded. "Ask Tecna to feed me some of that low salt, no fat popcorn and I'll see what I can do."
"Come on...eat it! Eat it!" Aisha came from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn which she set on a coaster on the coffee table. "We've all seen Daria barf. She can do it voluntarily which I find disturbing on all levels."
"I can't believe my cousin made it all the way to the WOW semi finals." Roxy sat on the floor in front of the coffee table.
The Magix television theme played with a flourish of red green and blue circles that merged to become the logo for the state owned broadcaster.
"We want channel 135. The Earth TVB feed." Roxy swung around.
"Saturday should not begin with the sound of an crow getting offed." Tecna rolled over in her bed to dim the light falling in from the window.
"You found the room too warm and left the window open and it let in the sound of a crow dying." Musa groaned and adjusted the red bedspread. "Maybe I won't have to put two quilts on my bed."
"I thought they had rats to eat." Tecna closed her eyes. "Besides that, I come from a cold planet and find it hard to sleep in a stuffy room."
"Kind of musical – caw, caw – pwompf! I think I heard bones breaking." Musa told Tecna. "You have kept me up countless times when you've stayed up late working on your computer."
"This isn't about us." Tecna said in a hostile voice.
"Get them off!" Daria flew in the window and flew in a frenzy around the room. "No one told me the big black birds held a grudge!"
Musa jumped out of bed in pure surprise as the screen from the window slid across her rug.
"Tell the hordes coming after me I don't want trouble!" Daria cried out in fear. "Or close the window!"
"Is this the new normal around here? You take on an animal and it hands you a new one and you come rushing in here so we'll protect you." Tecna pulled her pillow over her head. "Can't the mighty Daria fend off a few crows?"
"I'll deal with you later!" Daria pointed her finger at Tecna.
Musa pulled the lever and closed the window.
"Go back to bed," Tecna said in a surly voice, "or get pecked to death by crows – I leave the choice up to you."
A polite knock came at the door of Musa and Tecna's bedroom.
"They have come for me!" Daria jumped onto Daria's head and shivered.
"James has come for you." Musa explained and opened the door. "No one else knocks like they're apologizing."
"Get off my head!" Musa commanded Daria.
"I saw what happened." James explained as he bowed sheepishly. "We may have upset the crows – which may be carved on my tombstone or printed on my urn."
"I wonder if I could find a quieter place in a gravel pit." Tecna seethed.
"Take her back to your dorm." Musa commanded James. "Please!"
"How do you know I wasn't hurt!" Daria shot back at Musa.
"You could get trapped in a snake put and merely get itchy!" Tecna threw a pillow in the rough direction of the door. "Go – we want to sleep!"
"I didn't kill it!" Daria shouted back at a menacing black crow as it flew past her just a finger width from her head giving her a full tongue-lashing. "Him, her – whatever."
"The great Huntress Daria missed her target?" Bloom slyly smiled. "You never miss."
"I didn't miss – if you must know. I detest bird – hate the feel of feathers and so if I want to eat one then I have to strip them off to get at the good bits." Daria hid behind Bloom for cover. "I went after the cherries on the trees but they evidently belong to the crow herd. At first they merely balled me out and then they ganged up on me."
"Such bullies." Bloom joked. "Picking on such a young and defenceless girl."
"Yes - they do show promise." Daria skulked behind Bloom. "At least they aren't hypocrites and their motives are clear."
Bloom recognized this as a dig at the human race. Daria was a keen observer of the human condition and chose to like only certain humans: Stella and Bloom could get on with her agreeably and she wasn't a nuisance for the teachers but she found social mores confusing and nonsensical.
James normally didn't hiss but he let out a loud cry and began flying across the quad racing with a dozen crows. He slipped in through the cafeteria doors just as a startled second year fairy stepped out.
"I didn't do anything to you!" Daria told Bloom. "A rough translation of James' call just then – the rest of it isn't for fairy ears."
"He could have taken the hallway." Bloom told Daria. "You can use it too – the school has one between the dorms and cafeteria."
"Damn!" Daria half hissed. "I never saw any need to use it - perhaps because I can fly more easily than I can walk."
"Have you considered talking with the crows about the issues between your two species." Bloom did not want to have to walk around the campus with Daria shaking in fear behind her.
"I had considered asking the groundskeeper to lend me an air rifle." Daria admitted as she jumped at the sound of a distant crow. "I rejected it on the grounds that Griselda and Faragonda would fall on me like a ton of bricks for harassing the wildlife or using a gun."
"Not because shooting crows is cruel and unnecessarily violent?" Bloom reached behind her to pat Daria's head so she could tell if the little oddball was going to get underfoot.
"That never crossed my mind and I had no idea I could talk to crows – Alfea offers a class?" Daria deftly walked close to Bloom. "Cruel violence often solves problems but learning the crow language sounds tedious and time consuming."
"Why would birds upset Daria and James?" Faragonda asked Doctor Passerine as he worked on his paper about them at his desk in the guest suite.
"Daria and James evolved from an order of reptiles and took the place of the birds in the ecosystem of other planets and have no first hand knowledge of them." Passerine removed the pencil he had tucked behind his ear and placed it next to his laptop. "The first reaction to seeing a new kind of living thing is typically fear and suspicion particularly if that new animal – the crow – happens to compete with you for your valuable food. Crows around here eat the same insects and eat the same fruit as Daria and James."
"We must find a way to work this out." Faragonda stood politely at the door. "We have to live together."
"Crows and Celespids are very intelligent." Passerine took a moment to boil down the complex argument he needed to make. "When two intelligent species meet for the first time; that usually means a war."
"A cynical viewpoint." Faragonda crossed her arms.
'You have witnessed enough history to know what I say rings of the truth.' Passerine thought to himself but decided to keep this observation to himself.
"The crows have begun to work together to drive off Daria and James." Passerine pointed out the meaning behind the events of the morning. "We can tell Daria and James apart even if they look a lot alike. Crows have even better eyesight than humans and should have no problem telling them apart – Daria the Trespasser has all six of her quills. James molted one. The crows want to rid themselves of both our guests for good – they have no reason to torment James."
Doctor Passerine swung his office chair back to face his laptop and sent his computer the command to print.
"Only a first draft – but this may help." He said as his printer whirred and began to print. "I've included a list of references of the work of others in my field of Euthermid behavior – I doubt Daria or James want to go to war: they're greatly outnumbered by the crows and they don't eat birds. I worry this kind of thing could continue: Daria and James like their kin can become gravely ill from prolonged stress." The printer tossed out the final page and Passerine straightened them up and placed a paper clip in the corner then handed it to Faragonda. "I'll see what I can do to help but I think you're idea of some kind of negotiation between the crows and our friends puts you and your fairies up against very alien minds shaped by eons of evolution."
"A good day to die." James glanced at down at Roxy's head. "Under a cherry tree in the court of a palace, This setting reminds me of something – nuts I can't place it but I've seen it on TV."
"Japanese samurai films from Earth?" Roxy held onto James' hand.
"What are they?" James asked nervously as the branches of the large tree rustled and he heard the crows calling. "I mean those commercials for lotteries on Earth where the winners go to some crime free place in Europe and spend their money indulging all of the grotesque tastes of your species."
James sounded very nervous. His hand felt small and yet warm and he shook.
"You aren't going to die." Roxy gently squeezed James' little hand. "I'm the fairy of animals and I can speak with crows and they won't harm you while you are with me."
"I must know why you asked me to come talk to the animals and not Daria?" James glanced around like he had found himself at the end of a sniper scope. "I don't want to be in a first contact situation because I'm wearing red."
"What?" Roxy had no trouble talking to animals in nature because crows, horses and dogs had deeps roots in a simple reality. Daria and James had the ability to say odd things unrelated (as far as she knew) to the situation or circumstances which hinted to Roxy that mental quirkyness emerged in intelligent minds. "You have the calm and more reserved personality. Daria has a preference for solving situations with violent reprisals not calm negotiation."
"Sounds like a good solution because I'm not at all calm." James breathed in and out forcing himself to relax. "I lack her sense of morals and efficiency. I'd join her in biting the black little bastards into pieces while scattering their remains over the cherry trees but we're grossly outnumbered. We have principles but we're not stupid so we'll go with the crazy plan."
"We're going to talk." Roxy demanded.
Roxy had brought James with her because he was not prone to losing his temper. Daria had famously won the informal title of bitch queen for hissing and screeching fits. She didn't hurt people; Roxy and the others including Faragonda had no such assurance she wouldn't kill crows.
"Enlightened self interest – did you know we have a word for that in our language?" A reedy voice came from the canopy of branches over James' head.
"What the hell?" James whispered to Roxy. "Did you hear that?"
"I told you I am the Fairy of Animals." Roxy answered back harshly.
"I thought your magic names were titular – like those of the British Royal Family." James shrunk closer to Roxy. "We have a Fairy of Technology and yet our printers still jam. I hate to think Stella – Fairy of the Shining Sun has the ability to affect fusion through her powers. No scenario I can imagine with her manipulating the process of fusion in the core of the Sun ends at all well..."
"Will you please be quiet." Roxy said in a hushed voice.
"You are the evil ones who steal our food!" The voice sounded like an overblown oboe and grew louder as a chorus rose from behind it.
"They meant no harm." Roxy said and James heard.
"Banish them!" The chorus grew louder. "Exile them and cast them out to starve in the wasteland."
"Did I thank you for bringing me to this place?" James whispered.
"No – hush!" Roxy had heard crows speak among themselves before and this sounded like one of their debates.
"Remember that when they peck us to death." James whispered back. "One group of exiles I heard about from a cable channel wandered the deserts somewhere for forty years."
Roxy wondered why she brought the chatty if scattered James with her and she tapped his lip to signal him to stay quiet and let her do the talking.
"They are not evil...well not intentionally." Roxy cried out. "We can promise they will not steal from the trees."
"What about their past thefts?" One single voice spoke out. "Our chicks cry out for the food these trees provide."
"We can bring you more cherries." Roxy offered. "They had no idea they stole from you."
"Wait until they begin enriching uranium!" Daria stood in the lobby looking roughed up and very angry. "I thought you sent James and Roxy out because she could talk to the animals. God knows why you'd pick James except out of some misguided belief he can represent our interests."
Bloom patted Daria's silky hair smooth.
"I wanted to tell you before you went to cross the quad – the crows think you have eaten some of their children." Bloom brushed Daria's fancy uniform off with her hands like she was tending a child. "Some animal had raided their nests and eaten eggs."
"Not at all – that sounds absolutely revolting!" Daria stiffened her little frame.
"Roxy promised to look into it." Bloom said sadly. "I wanted to tell you the negotiations were a dismal failure and ended with James having to flee with Roxy into the library."
"May I offer a suggestion?" Daria twitched her ears.
"Do you have one?" Bloom doubted Daria wanted anything less than blood but hoped for the one instnace out of many where she might offer genuine insight.
"Kill them all and let God sort them out." Daria hissed. "After playing dodge crow as I came back across the quad from lunch; negotiation doesn't come as the most effective solution. Why are fairies so reluctant to exact violent revenge upon those who cross them? Most other humans have no such reluctance."
'She has a point...' Bloom reflected on the long history of human hypocrisy and had reason to respect Daria's ability as an outsider to summarize it.
"I didn't know you believed in God." Bloom tried to parse out the meaning of Daria's remarks.
"Don't take me so literally – I heard that saying on TV." Daria ridiculed Bloom as she spoke then her voice grew darker. "But someone will have to count and identify the dead in order to figure out who won the war."
"Fairies try to help and heal. We don't always succeed." Bloom began her careful explanation and tried to let Daria's distressing darkness flee her mind. "The crows have missing children and they're very upset and so we can't hurt them in their moment of need."
"Until we can bring them to the negotiation – uh – tree." Daria felt Bloom lift her gently and she sat on her shoulder. "Why don't I go to the potion lab and whip up some mutually assured destruction."
"A lot of fairies might get hurt in the war." Bloom advised Daria as they walked down the hall and Daria swung her spear like tail back and forth. "I imagine you feel humiliation and defeat – feelings not easy for a warrior like you to deal with – you have taken a hit to your honor."
"I was outnumbered, not scared!" Daria made this absolutely clear.
"I never doubted this." Bloom felt Daria stretch her wings and relax as she folded them. "You are the bravest person I have ever met. You have come to our alien world and learned to live with us – that's courage."
Daria was a young girl. She wasn't human and despite her temper; Bloom and her friends sensed she wanted to do good in her own way and following her own path.
"I hear Daria and James have gone to war against the crows." Doctor Passerine told Bloom as he invited her and her friend Daria into his guest room. He turned to his desk and reached for a sheaf of paper and the a yellow desk stapler. "Negotiations have gone badly?"
He bent over and gave Daria a kind look and then stood up.
"Our friend belongs to the species called the Spear Tailed Celespid." Passerine smiled conclusively. "I received the test results from The Technical University of Madira on Solaria and they concluded my suspicions."
"At least I know." Daria tilted her heard.
"You and James are identical twins." He continued delicately as Daria looked up. Bloom threw him a look of disbelief.
"Impossible among humans who have X and Y chromosomes to determine gender." The doctor told Bloom. "But possible among Celespids where the gender of the adult is determined by the temperature of the nest among other factors in the second month in the egg. I imagine those who incubated them had deliberate reasons for manipulating innocent creatures in such unnatural and fiendish ways."
"We think the Trix – three evil witches had a role in this." Bloom placed her hand on Daria's head. "We have no proof but Daria and James make for the perfect spies and hunters and have a resistance to magic."
"I know nothing of these Trix." Doctor Passerine picked up a tablet computer from his desk. "They didn't genetically alter them in any way – Daria and James come from a large population near the City of Jedarha. I have no explanation for their mental capabilities. Celespids are smart and pet Celespids or those used in falconry can follow complex commands but The Spear Tailed Celespid has always proven too wide ranging and aggressive to train – they hate captivity and suffer distress if taken from their pack."
The Doctor handed the tablet to Bloom.
"They have 32 pair of chromosomes." Bloom found this unremarkable fact, remarkable given the human count of 23.
"About average among higher animals." The doctor said dismissively: "What makes Daria and James so different from us is that James lacks a 'Y' chromosome. How Daria and James become male and female requires some difficult to duplicate conditions during incubation – unlikely to happen by chance."
"What are you trying to say?" Bloom watched the tablet animate the image until it displayed the color coded individual genes and their names. "The Trix didn't - uh – make them?"
"Not without help from someone who had experience with Celespids." Passerine raised a finger. "A breeder or vet perhaps – someone who knows how to incubate the eggs. Since Daria and James aren't a domesticated species; this requires someone to go out and fetch the eggs. Raiding a nest of a wild Celespid is a non trivial task and incubating them requires the kind of know how a vet has."
Bloom had seen Daria lose 'it' and realized these outbursts were mild compared to those of a mother protecting their young. The crows had not over reacted but had attacked an innocent bystander.
"I have begun to think I have what the crows need." Daria told Bloom. "They need to defend their young from an unknown enemy and we're the perfect people to find it."
"I didn't think you liked to negotiate." Bloom gave Daria an aside glance and could feel Daria's tail moving side to side – Daria had a plan.
"I don't like wasting time talking and getting nothing out of it." Daria gently wagged her tail – a sure sign of eagerness. "I like cherries and I love to hunt. If I offer to kill the animal eating their eggs; I can get both."
Daria and James stood on the walkway of Alfea and hissed, made loud shrieks and all matter of rattles and trills. Roxy had studied their calls but her magic could not translate them. She had no idea on what level their language worked given that she hear a cacophonous hissing and shrieking that didn't suggest order.
The Winx stood close ready to defend them if the crows got hostile.
Daria and James raise such a noise that people in the library across the quad kept looking out the windows wondering what could make such a noise.
"I wonder if future generations will curse us for what we've done." Tecna whispered to Musa.
"I wonder if I should wear hearing protection." Musa replied.
Bloom wondered if a bombing would be quieter.
"What are you doing?" A reedy voice came out of the trees expressing confusion and disgust. "If it weren't for the fairies; we'd kill you just for dancing so badly."
Daria and James stopped dead in their tracks.
Roxy could work her magic on crows. She could not translate Daria and James' calls for the crows because her magic couldn't affect them so she decided to translate the crows words into plain English for the magically impaired.
Daria looked to Roxy, Roxy shrugged. Roxy had never thought of Daria or James as 'musical'.
"Bloom is giving me the 'don't say anything stupid' look." Daria answered back and Roxy looked to Bloom. Daria and James were so incompetent at reading human body language, Bloom had finally had to resort to kicking her in the rear repeatedly with a gently kick. "She defines 'stupid' as most of the things I want to say."
"You talk too much and 'pink eyes' doesn't say anything." The reedy voice answered angrily. "Out of respect for your allies; I have decided not to kill you."
Daria began to growl and rattle her quills.
"Control!" Bloom reached out and grabbed Daria's collar – a risky move if Daria wanted to fly since she'd wind up breaking Bloom's arm.
"Our friends can help you by protecting you and finding the ones eating your babies." Roxy said assertively. "They came out here to demonstrate their fierceness as warriors."
"Nice save." Tecna whispered to Musa and smiled wickedly.
"We want a real demonstration." The voice replied menacingly. "A large buck eats peacefully in the garden behind the dorm. Kill it."
A flock of crows flew out of the half dozen cherry trees and did so without making a sound.
"Damn it! Daria!" Bloom cried out as Daria dragged her a few meters in the juniper bushes. They took to the air as the fairies rushed through the halls to the other side of the dorm.
Bloom has a dilemma: Daria had solved a problem in the most imaginative yet cruel manner possible. Daria had killed a five point buck by teamwork and intelligence. She had never seen a deer before and the crows must have thought she would use brute force to try and kill it. No one anticipated that between her and James, shed drive the poor beast into Lake Roccaluce and torment it until it drowned. Bloom sat on the couch and paid no attention to the TV: she had seen some disturbing things.
"Can I speak with you?" Daria spoke through the dorm door.
"I don't want to speak with you...you disgust me." Bloom threw a pink cushion at the door in pointless anger.
"I live in a dormitory where everyone else bleeds for five days – welcome to my world." Daria shrugged off the angry tone of Bloom's voice. "Except for Headmistress Faragonda and Griselda – I have no idea why this is but onto current events."
"You and your brother killed a deer in a vile and cruel manner." Bloom fought back tears. "I don't know if I can see you right now – I hate what you did! Everyone else has gone into their rooms to try and emotionally recover from seeing this."
"Okay...now that the ranger arresting me for animal cruelty has all he needs." Daria said quietly. "He will take James and me to jail and then we'll stand trial. He went into some detail and he has both of us strapped together with those plastic zip ties."
"Hold on!" Bloom jumped off the couch. "We need to have a meeting because of extenuating circumstances!"
She whipped the door open and the knob nearly drove a hole in the wall.
"Excuse me sir?" Bloom called out after the man frog marching Daria and James down the hall. "We must discuss a few pertinent issues – Daria and James are not human nor are they magical beings!"
"Glad she has all her faculties." Daria muttered as the man stopped and jerked them painfully.
"I have the proper warrant - ma'am." The stern looking man hauling them off said in a low voice as he brushed the tip of his blond moustache with his finger. "They look human enough and the girl won't shut up."
"Alfea offers them sanctuary." Bloom said as she stamped her foot. "As is in our mandate!"