I'm trying out a new story. I hope you like it. I've got several chapters written, but they're all very short - the format of the story only really works as many short chapters, or one long one.
Disclaimer: I don't own MASH
I'm No Hero
"Colonel Blake!" Radar shouted as he ran into the Swamp. "Colonel!" Frank sat up.
"Corporal, haven't you ever heard of knocking?!" Trapper rolled his eyes.
"Lay off Frank. What is it Radar?" Radar was looking franticly around.
"Is Colonel Blake here?" Trapper nodded and pointed at a lump on the spare bunk.
"Henry!" He called. The lump wriggled a bit and Henry sat up, his blanket still covering him up to his nose.
"Radar, there better be a damn good reason for this!" Radar nodded.
"Colonel, we just got a call from the I-company command!" Trapper and Henry both stood up.
"Is it about Hawkeye and the others?" Trapper asked. Radar nodded. Frank stood up.
"And Margaret?" He asked, his voice rising in pitch.
"Yes sirs." The three doctors looked at each other.
"Well, what did they say, Radar?!" Henry almost shouted Radar swallowed.
"They er…They said that they can't get new personnel right now. Hawkeye, Klinger and Major Houlihan are to stay there indefinitely." He paused. "They're not coming back." He finished in a smaller voice. There was complete silence as they all tried to comprehend what Radar had just said.
"They're staying at the front? All of them?" Henry asked quietly, disbelievingly. Radar nodded.
"Yes sir."
"For how long?!" Radar sniffed and rubbed his eyes.
"Indefinitely, sir." Henry sank back down onto his bunk.
"Whatever the hell that means." Trapper muttered, turning away from the others. Frank started pacing the tent.
"Well, this is just awful! Can we get a line through to them?" Radar shook his head.
"Not until morning." He sat down on the chair next to him. Trapper turned to the still and poured himself a drink before sitting down on his bed, looking at the floor.
"Radar, do you know if we're getting replace-" Henry's voice cracked slightly. "Replacements for them?" Trapper's head snapped up.
"Hawkeye's stuck up at the front, with artillery left, right and centre, just because he got unlucky and picked the damn short sausage, and you're worried about replacements?!" He looked outraged. Henry stood up.
"Look! I'm the commanding officer in this place! I have to look at the bigger picture sometimes! I'm gonna miss them and worry about them too. Hawkeye is my friend too, y'know." Trapper looked away.
"Yeah. I know." He let out a deep breath. "Radar, do you know if we can get a call through?" Radar shook his head.
"Not until morning. Sorry Trapper." Trapper drank the last of his martini and poured himself another one. He looked up. "Hey, Frank. Don't you want to whine about missing Hot Lips even a little bit?" There was no answer. "Frank?". Radar stood up.
"He's not there. Should I go and look for him?" He asked Henry. Henry shook his head.
"Nah. Leave him. He's probably just gone to smell Major Houlihan's clothes or something." The three remaining men settled back onto their bunks, Radar having decided to borrow Hawkeye's.
"Uh, sirs? Do you think they'll be ok?" Trapper and Henry looked at each other across the tent.
"Yeah. Sure. They're tough." Trapper answered, as much to himself as his young friend.
"That's the last of the stuff. Are you two sirs ready?" Klinger asked, having thrown the last duffle bag into the jeep. Hawkeye turned to look at the place he was about to leave.
"Well… I guess if we really have to leave… Let me in there!" He shouted and ran towards the jeep.
"Captain, wait!" Hawkeye stopped and turned around. One of the medics was hurrying towards him.
"What is it?" He asked. The medic stopped in front of them.
"We just got a call from I-company. You three have been ordered to stay here." Hawkeye's mouth nearly fell open.
"For how long?"
"As long as you're needed. Could be a few more days. Could be permanent." He gave Hawkeye a sympathetic smile. "I sure am sorry, Captain." He turned and went back into the aid station, if 'in' really applied to a building that was missing its roof and half its walls.
Hawkeye kicked a rock that was lying by his foot.
"Damn." He muttered. "Damn!" He shouted, kicking the rock again, harder. Klinger and Margaret walked towards them.
"What's wrong Captain?" Margaret asked him. Hawkeye swallowed.
"Klinger, you better go unpack that jeep. We're not going anywhere." He told them bitterly.
"Damn." Klinger echoed his sentiments. "You mean we're stuck here for another night?" Hawkeye looked at Margaret. Unlike Klinger, she didn't appear to have assumed that he had meant they were only extending their stay for such a short period of time.
"No Klinger. I mean we're not going anywhere. Not today, not tomorrow, not next week." Klinger looked stunned.
"You can't mean that we're…we're… They can't do that to us!"
"Yes, they can, Corporal. If they say we're here, we're here until they have a reason to move us." Margaret told him. Her eyes had hardened, her shoulders had stiffened, and it was almost as if she didn't care at all. But Hawkeye knew better. This was just her way of coping.
"Sir!" The same medic came running out of the building again. "We've got a whole load of new wounded coming in. We need you!" Hawkeye sighed.
"Klinger leave the bags until later. We're gonna need all hands on deck again. Margaret, you know what to do."
"Yes Doctor. Klinger, fetch me that alcohol!"