Unsaid Things

Written by Carola Richardson

Translated by my friend Fabia

- Based on the book "Dead To The World" - Charlaine Harris

Bill couldn't feel the time. As a vampire, the time was of a different kind to him and so hard to explain its absence. Perhaps immortality used to come with small defects and he thought about that when he woke up that night. He thought about the time and Sookie Stackhouse. The first thought about the time was that he was feeling it, long hours into the night and perhaps his loneliness - which he tried desperately not to feel, sinking into his work. The second thought was connected to the first, he wasn't seeing Sookie anymore and that's why he was so unhappy.

Could vampires be unhappy?

He asked himself that, while heating a bottle of synthetic blood in the microwave. To him, that blood was enough to control his desires and because he wanted to be among humans, that blood should always be enough. Inside of him there was a need to be known among the people and be around them. Maybe because they reminded him of how he could still have the remnants of his humanity, although it didn't prove anything, after all, in comparission to the behavior of many vampires, Bill was almost a human being.

Once in a while his true nature was revealed. He didn't feel ashemed of that, because at any time he had denied it to himself. But he wanted to understand the repulsion that there was in Sookie's eyes, and why it was so difficult for her to understand. He had already explained to her what he was, she had seen him how he really was, but it hurt to see in those blue eyes he loved so much, those contrary feelings.

He loved Sookie. He could never go against it. He loved her silence, her company, her voice. He loved her in a way he never thought it was possible. Being with Sookie was like being in a exterior world, surrounded by the things he liked and those feelings that made him happy. And he knew she felt the same, after all, Sookie did not need to be focused on him all the time, she could relax and be herself. He would never read her thoughts.

It was five days since Sookie had sent him away from her home. At least Eric was kicked out along with him. Bill knew the vampire also had also interest in Sookie, but there were many things he could not understand. And that night, he would have to face Eric again. He had respect for him, as he should and it was through him that Bill got that job of investigator for the Area Five. His plan seemed to be not so successful, because Eric seemed to be everywhere with his human companion.

On the same night that the Sookie threw them out of her home, he and Eric had time to discuss the latest issues and Bill could be aware of Sookie's connections to Alcide. Eric spared no details, telling him what he knew and the pieces joined in Bill's head - not in a very enlightening way, but he wasn't that innocent to not notice Eric's cruelty and in what he had heard from Alcide .

He had to go to Fangtasia that night. But before that, Bill could see if she was home. Her house wasn't too far from his, it was just walking through the cemetery and there was Sookie's house. Eric could wait a few minutes ...

Thus, Bill crossed the distance between the two houses with his agility and soon the vampire was hiding behind a tree - the first time he did that, two days ago, it felt like a human teenager, but the feeling didn't last long for him to fully understand or enjoy it - watching her house. Sookie had gained the inheritance of her grandmother, after she was brutally murdered. He understood better the nostalgia she felt because he had nostalgic moments in his life. He focused a bit more and heard her in the kitchen, then he changed trees to see her better.

She was Wearing the uniform of Merlotte's and had blond hair in a ponnytail. Her face was soft and she seemed happy. To seem happy away from him was painful. He noticed the loop on her neck and felt ashamed of himself for scaring her like that. It could not have been different, but he could not forgive himself for hurting her. He could never be at peace if he had given the cable of her life since that night in Jackson.

There was a lot of him in that event that he did not understand. Sookie had stabbed Lorraine, his creator and ex-lover. There were conflicting feelings inside him. Sookie could not understand those vampires' bonds and he did not understand why he was so relieved. He barely remembered the rescue. All he knew was that he woke up hurt and had abused Sookie and then he was with her again. It was a weird certain.

It was the same certain that made him admire her now, seeing her leaving the house to go to Sam's bar. He wanted to talk to her, but after all of that, he knew she just wanted moments of normal life. Since they had been together, the life of the young waitress was no longer the same. Everything had been turned upside down and thanks to the gift of telepathy of Sookie, it's gotten worse in many ways.

She headed to Shreveport. Her thoughts reviving the last events. Soon she was at Eric's office in Fangtasia. The bar was open and visitors already placed. More people arrived, it was one of the best bars in the region and there humans could kill their curiosity of knowing vampires and who knows, start something with them. He remembered the first time he had taken Sookie there and had a brief smile on his face, without realizing that Eric had already entered and was staring at him.

"Did you see her again?" Eric asked, sitting up in his chair, he couldn't hide his curiosity. Bill had to respect him, but there were times that he just hated him - and when he meddled in his affairs with Sookie, Bill wanted to rip Eric's head off. Of course, he wasn't gonna do it, but that didn't stop him to make him wish it less.

"Why did you call me here?" He asked, wanting to divert the issue. From the look on Eric's face, he had achieved it. Eric looked both sides quickly, as if that could erase his curious question. He knew that Eric wanted his Sookie, he had not hidden it. He even created a blood bond with his blood, which had left Bill mad.

Followed a professional conversation - as if vampires talk could sound like that. Eric said that he should go to Peru by the Queen's order and gave the few instructions he had. Bill would have to prepare some things for his trip, but he knew the reasons of the Queen's request. The research he was developing was great and very important. He felt lucky for performing this task, at the same time sad, sice it was because of this - and because of Lorraine, that Sookie's life had almost been over.

"Well Bill" Eric woke him up from his thoughts "You're melancholy. You should think this is the end, but I'm sure she will call you here again."

"Did she call you?"

"Not the last few days. But she will."

They looked at each other, each one with their determination on Sookie. Ah, Bill hated Eric for that.

"Why don't you stay away from her? After all, this was Sookie's desire."

"Unfortunately for us, it is not what we have in mind", it was appropriate. Both of them didn't have the desire to stay away from her. Eric smiled, seemed thrilled with the idea of hunting Sookie.

"Leave Sookie alone" Bill growl and Eric laughed.

"I'm doing that. But how can I be sure that you will do the same?"

Bill got up from the chair and faced him without considering the response. Eric did not deserve answers and loved playing with his cruel feelings.

"Any more requirements about the trip?"

"No. Don't you wanna spend the night here? Maybe you can find something interesting..."

"If it was just that, then I have to leave. I have work to do."

He got out of Fangtasia as soon as possible. He knew that Eric was only being mean to him. His goal of winning Sookie would make him doing things worse than that. And Bill could bear that cruelty as long as didn't get to Sookie. Luckly he had not spoken anything about Lorraine. It was clear that he had told something to Sookie, but not in a truthful way.

He returned to his home and his research. He wasn't being very productive, he had spent too much time looking at the fornt gate, as if Sookie could show up at his doorway at any time. He knew this wasn't gonna happen, but still he kept watching and waiting. He forced himself to get back to his work.

***

A couple more days and he'd be in Lima. Bill could hardly bear the idea of having to go without talking to Sookie again. Those thoughtful nights had brought coherence to his thoughts and feelings. He felt more relaxed. When he woke up that night, he wrote some cards with explanations in it of what had happened and how the vampires behaved. But none of them seemed right and he concluded that he wanted to look in her eyes as he explained the reasons.

He knew Sookie's patterns of behavior. She wouldn't have to speak anything, he was sure he could know everything just by looking at her. He wrote a brief note, asking for a conversation between them. Sookie accepted and invited him to her home. The conversation was brief and tense and everything that Bill wanted to do but couldn't was take Sookie in his arms. There was no forgiveness for what he had done, but his reasons towards Lorena were clear.

Maybe Sookie didn't understand the way he loved her. And the new human relations do not appear with the former, which he knew. Of course there was the betrayal, he had decided not think much about it because the reason was clear. Lorena had threatened the life of Sookie if he was not at his meeting. All those threats were enough for doing what he had done.

In those lonely nights, Bill had understood that his union with Sookie only brought problems and risks to his life. All in some way wanted to hurt her and several times. He couldn't see this before, but now, he understood well all the danger that he exposed her to.

When he left her house, he felt lighter because he explained everything to he but he was sadder, he had lost his girlfriend. He could read in her expressions that she was hurt by this betrayal and resentment and it could result in the loss of the love she felt for him. Thus, while returning to his home, Bill was sure it was a good thing to take this time off for the relationship was the best idea. Sookie needed time to think and forgive him, since he was sure that his feelings for her wouldn't change. He was sure he'd love Sookie for a long time.

The End.