As it turns out, impacting a stone wall at 200 KM an hour is incredibly painful. With a groan, I waited for my bones to pop back in place before gingerly rising to my feet. I looked out the hole I created, a crowd of people staring up at me in surprise. I could feel my anxiety rising with so many eyes focused on me, so I tried to think of a way to defuse the situation.
"К сожалению об стену!(Sorry about the wall!)" I called down to them. "Я могу иметь его в один миг!(I can have it fixed in a jiffy!)"
Nobody answered, some of their faces changing to be confused.
"Parlez-vous Français?(Do you speak French?)" I tried, still getting no reaction. "Gaeilge b'fhéidir?¿Español? 日本語?(Irish perhaps? Spanish? Japanese?)"
"Who are you!?" One of the guys roared. "Another weakling that dares to oppose my rank!?"
I looked him over, an interesting sight to behold. He was a large man, stacked like a brick shit-house wearing an open coat that had epaulettes and a dark vest under it, dark camo trousers and boots finishing it off. He had a metal jay, and his right hand was replaced by an axe.
"Ебля идеальный, они говорят на английском языке. Они вероятно американский тоже.(Fucking perfect, they speak English. They're probably American too.)" I groaned. "I am sorry about your wall, I can fix it if you want."
My accent was painfully thick as English was a new language of mine, a fact that caused me to wince. Axe-hand seemed to be taken aback by my answer, but then continued.
"In any case, I can't allow this affront to go unpunished." Axe-hand declared. "You are to be executed along with these criminals. Get him!"
He used some words I didn't understand, but I got the gist by his tone and the fact I was being charged. I waited for the group that split off to make it in the building completely, then jumped to the ground below. I drew a sledgehammer and threw it at Axe-hand, who knocked it out of the air. Undeterred, I pulled out a pipe and rushed one of the people who were dressed similar to Axe-hand. Bashing his head, I quickly forced my way to the other side of the crowd. What I found was another strange picture; some green-haired kid tied up to a cross, a pink-haired child laying bleeding on the ground, and another straw-hatted kid standing there looking amazed.
"Вы говорите на русском?(Do you speak Russian?)" I asked, hoping.
"That was so cool!" The straw-hat kid exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.
"Я думаю нет.(I guess not.)" I sighed, disappointed. "I am Кендрик(Kendrick), are you friend?"
"Sure, I'll be your friend!" The straw-hat replied, a massive grin on his face. "Do you want to join my crew?"
Too hurried to give a proper reply, I vaguely nodded and turned back to axe-hand. The men he had set after me realized I had escaped, and were rushing to catch up with the others. They all charged us, straw-hat trying to untie green-hair.
"Move." I ordered, raising an axe above my head.
Surprised, straw-hat jerked out of the way as I brought the blade down on green-hair's bonds, freeing his arm. Finishing the job, I turned back to the incoming force and drew a second axe, preparing to charge them when something zoomed past me.
"All those that oppose me must die!" Axe-hand exclaimed as his men headed down upon us.
To the surprise of all, green-hair suddenly appeared before the attackers, blocking their swords with three katana of his own.
"Don't move, or someone will get hurt." He threatened around the handle in his mouth, somehow speaking clearly.
The attackers were visibly frightened, tears running down their sweaty faces.
"I already told you I'd be a pirate with you…either way, after this incident with the Marines I'll be an outlaw too." Green-hair continued, talking to straw-hat. "But it's okay…I still have my own goals! I'm going to become the worlds greatest swordsman! I no longer care if my name is clean or not…bad-guy, good-guy, it no longer matters as long as my name is known world-wide! If you do something that end up in the way of my goal, I will have to cut your stomach open to say sorry!"
"Good! To be the world's number one swordsman!" Straw-hat replied. "Since you wanna be the pirate king's crew-member, if you couldn't accomplish something that small then I would be very embarrassed as well!"
"~Heh~, Well said."
"These kids are nuts." I thought.
"What are you standing around for!" Axe-hand demanded angrily. "Finish them off!"
"Guys, duck!" Straw-hat exclaimed, kicking his leg back as we hit the deck. "Gum-Gum…Leg-Sweeper!"
To my amazement, straw-hat's leg stretched out to hit all of the men attacking us (the Marines I assumed). They were sent flying into the air, crashing down with pained groans and yelps.
"Super!" Pink-hair exclaimed. "Very cool!"
"What are you?" Green-hair asked.
"I'm a rubber-man!" Straw-hat answered.
"Ru…rubber-man?" One of the Marines echoed, shocked.
"Captain, we can't kill them!" Another exclaimed.
"They're too strong!"
Nobody said anything, but Axe-hand appeared to be seething.
"This is an order." Axe-hand said, sounding surprisingly calm. "Whoever just said that, kill yourselves! I don't need useless soldiers! That's an order!"
To my surprise, they complied as raised guns to their own heads.
"By the Sun's Light, what's wrong with these people!?" I exclaimed to myself. "What kind of fucked place have I ended up now?"
I then noticed that they were using flintlock pistols, along with cutlasses and katana. Before I could think too much about this development, straw-hat charged forward towards axe-hand.
"I am the Marines worst enemy!" He exclaimed, jumping through the air to punch axe-hand. "If you have guts then execute me!"
Axe-hand blocked the attack, leaving the both of them in a stand-off.
"Mr. Luffy, defeat these Marines!" Pink-hair exclaimed.
"People like you without status have no right to oppose me!" Axe-hand yelled. "I am Marine Captain Axe-Hand Morgan!"
"My name is Luffy." Straw-hat replied, completely strait-faced. "Nice to meet you."
"Go to hell!" Morgan roared, swinging at Luffy.
Luffy jumped into the air, avoiding the attack. It was a good move, as Morgans swipe somehow split a nearby fence in half. Luffy used the opening to drop-kick Morgan, knocking him to the ground. Morgan rolled to his hand and feet, sliding backwards from the momentum as Luffy charged him.
"You little bastard!" Morgan exclaimed, raising his axe into the air. "Go to hell!"
He brought it down as Luffy reached him, almost hitting the rubber-boy who spun out of the way.
"I'm not dead yet!" Luffy grinned, kicking Morgan in the head.
Morgan slid across the ground again, Luffy catching up and straddling him. I heard a yelp behind me, turning to see some blond kid holding pink-hair at gunpoint.
"Wait!" Blond-hair yelled at Luffy, who then hit Morgan. "You idiot! I told you to wait! If you want this kid to survive, then don't move! If anyone moves, I'll shoot!"
"I am thinking that is not good idea, Да(yes)?" I replied, pressing a knife against his neck. "I am thinking you put down gun."
Blond-hair gulped, too scared to move.
"Take finger off trigger." I ordered. "Do it slowly."
Blondie complied, giving me the confidence to take the gun from him. Looking toward Luffy, I saw Morgan standing up behind him. Before I could say anything green-hair intercepted Morgan's attack with one of his own, forcing the Marine to the ground
"Zoro!" Luffy exclaimed.
"Leave it to me, Captain!" Green-hair replied, still somehow speaking through the katana he was holding in his mouth.
There was a pause, then Blondie fainted and collapsed to the ground. The other Marines looked shocked as well.
"The Captain…lost?!" One of them exclaimed. "Captain Morgan has been defeated!"
"If you still want to arrest us, come and get us." Zoro said threateningly.
The Marines looked at each other for a moment, then erupted into cheer and celebration.
"Yes!"
"We're free!"
"We are out of Morgan's control!"
"Long live Marines!"
"What's going on?" Luffy asked. "They seem to be really happy Morgan was defeated."
"Everyone…hated Morgan!" Pink-hair deduced.
Zoro decided that now was a good time to collapse.
"Zoro?" "Mr. Zoro!"
"I'm full!" Zoro exclaimed jovially once we had gotten some food. "Haven't eaten for days, almost starved to death!"
I found myself sharing a table with these strangers, the owner of the place thankful to us for saving the town and her daughter, Rika. Luffy, Zoro, Coby (the pink-haired kid) and I had eaten our fill, mine a slow going as I had to eat around my mask. Now that things were calmer, I took a good look at my companions.
Coby was the shortest of them, followed by Luffy and Zoro, and was wearing a shirt and shorts along with circle-glasses. Luffy was fairly short as well, but much taller than Coby, coming to about 170 cm with a skinny frame. He was wearing a simple straw-hat with a red hand around it, a red vest and blue shorts finishing off his outfit along with sandals. He also had short, thick, black hair and a scar under his left eye. Zoro's green hair was roughly cut short, even shorter than Luffy's, and had a similar color to that of moss. Zoro was clearly more built than Luffy, taller too with his 8cm advantage, which you could tell past the three undone buttons on his white shirt. He had on black trousers and boots, his three swords held by his green haramaki.
I tried to think of why I was still here, then remembered that the Heart of Gold had been lost to the sea.
"Дерьмо!(shit!)" I exclaimed, rising to my feet suddenly.
"What's wrong?" Luffy asked.
"Мой межпространственные устройство было брошено в море!(My inter-dimensional device was thrown into the sea!)" I explained, forgetting they didn't speak Russian. "Я должен получить его обратно!(I have to get it back!)"
I ran out to the docks, diving into the water without a second thought. The result was instantaneous and terrible, a burning pain spreading throughout my body. I thrashed wildly, too surprised and in too much pain to think of swimming out of the water. Thankfully, Zoro soon came to my rescue and dragged me to shore.
"~Aaugh!~ What the hell!?" Zoro exclaimed, dropping me on the ground to sooth his burning arms in the water. "The water was boiling, what happened?"
I didn't answer for a moment, catching my breath and trying to calm down.
"Я не знаю, я только начал гореть в воде.(I don't know, I just started to burn in the water.)" I answered.
Luffy and Coby gave me blank looks, Zoro too distracted with blowing on his hands.
"Water, it…how you say?…it burns?" I tried again. "Да, water burns."
"The water burned you?" Coby repeated, sounding confused. "It's not that hot."
"It is what happened." I confirmed, slowly rising to my feet. "Great pain, hurt badly."
"Did you eat a Devil Fruit?" Zoro asked, rejoining us.
"What is…'Devil Fruit'?" I answered with a question. "I am not knowing what you say."
"A Devil Fruit is this gross tasting stuff that gives you powers." Luffy answered. "But once you eat some, you can't ever swim again."
"Нет(no), I have not eaten this 'Devil Fruit' as you say." I replied. "But I am in need to swim, can one of you swim?"
"I can." Zoro answered.
"Good, good. I will throw rock, will you swim to rock?" I asked. "You will be looking for ship and gold ball."
Zoro nodded, so I grabbed a rock and scaled a nearby building. Looking out for where the Heart of Gold landed, I marked the spot with my rock. As Zoro swam out, I climbed back down to the others. By this point a crowd had gathered around us, all if them celebrating their recent liberation. I slunk back into the shadows of the building, doing what I could to not be noticed by anyone.
"What are you doing mister?" A voice behind me asked, causing me to jump.
Turning to find Rika, I sighed in relief that it wasn't some citizen that wanted an autograph or something.
"I am hiding." I answered. "I do not do well with crowds."
"Is that why you wear a mask?" She asked.
"…Among other reasons, дa."
"Why else would you wear a mask?"
"To hide my face."
"Why?"
"I do not like it."
"Why?"
"Because it reminds me of bad things."
"Why?"
I felt a sudden surge of anger, why the fuck was this kid sitting here interrogating me? Then I became paranoid; what if someone had sent her to find me? What if she was an agent of some kind, disguised as a child and trying to worm her way into my good graces with this act of her's?
"Is it because you're really ugly? Is one eye bigger than the other? Do you have two noses?"
Or maybe she's just a curious kid.
"Да, it is because I am ugly." I answered. "But I am not having two noses, just scars. They scare people, so I wear mask."
"Wow, you must look really scary if it's worse than your mask." Rika remarked. "Your mask Is really creepy, especially since your always wearing that coat."
"How are you knowing I wear this all the time?" I asked. "I have been here only hour or so."
"Because it's all old and stuff." Rika answered, tugging on a patch of my sleeve to emphasize her point. "You must wear it a lot, or you wouldn't have to fix it so much."
"You are smart girl." I remarked, patting her head. "But you ask too many questions."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." Rika apologized, sounding sincere.
"It is fine, you are only child." I replied, waving off her concern. "It is good you ask questions, you learn, but I am running out of answers."
"Alright, I get it." Rika responded. "Thanks for not getting mad, other adults don't like it when I ask questions like that."
"I am not like other people."
Rika giggled a bit, then walked off into the crowd.
"Hey, I couldn't find anything." Zoro said, appearing from nowhere.
"Дерьмо, I was afraid of this." I replied, my head sinking. "Now I am trapped here."
"What do you mean?" Zoro asked, taking a seat next to me.
"I…I am not from here." I answered. "My ship was only way to get home."
"Can't you just get a new one?"
"Нет, It is special ship." I explained. "Only one, not replaceable."
Zoro didn't say anything, not that there was much to say. Luffy and Coby soon found us, followed by the Marines.
"I'm afraid I have to request that you leave." One of the Marines announced, instantly being booed by the townspeople. "We thank you for all of your help, but as Marines we cannot allow you stay here. Please leave this place immediately, we will be reporting what happened to Headquarters."
"Hey Marines!" One of the townspeople shouted. "What kind of bullshit are you saying!"
"Are you kidding me? Or have you all gone nuts!?"
"They are this town's saviors!"
"Well, let's go then." Luffy decided walking back towards the dock.
Luffy and Zoro walked off, looking back when they realized I wasn't following them.
"Aren't you coming?" Luffy asked.
"What are you meaning?" I asked back, confused.
"You're part of my crew, aren't you?"
I was taken aback for a moment, then remembered that I had in fact agreed to join him without thinking.
"Why are you wanting me for crew?" I questioned, suspicious. "You do not know me."
"You asked if I'd be your friend." Luffy answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Plus you seem really strong and cool."
I didn't know how to respond, as I hadn't been called "cool" before. I tried to think of an excuse to say no, but then realized I didn't have one. My ship was gone, I had no way of contacting anyone that could help me, I was in a strange place, and I had no idea if Zalgo's corruption had spread to here. It would be foolish to refuse, but officially joining anybody made me uneasy.
"I will sail with you, but not forever." I responded. "I am on mission, and must finish it."
"~aww~ Why can't you join my crew?" Luffy pouted. "It'll be fun! An adventure!"
"Mission is very…important? Да, Important, and must be finished."
"~hmm~ It must mean a lot to you…alright, I'll accept that for now."
We shook on it, Luffy finally noticing I had gloves on. If he had any thoughts about it, he kept them to himself.
*How long is that going to last?*
Ignoring Zane, I followed them to our small boat, Zoro and Luffy distracted momentarily by something to do with Coby. I took the chance to meditate, missing whatever they were talking about.
I was a few minutes later when I couldn't take it anymore, coming close to losing my mind.
"Luffy, I will cut off hand if you touch mask." I threatened, refusing to open my eyes in fear it'll cause me to snap. "Stop asking to take it off, let me meditate."
"But it's so cool!" Luffy whined. "How does it stay on? Can I try it?"
"Нет, you can not." I responded. "I am not taking off mask."
"Why?"
"Why are you caring!?" I snapped, losing my patients. "It is none of your concern if I wear mask!"
"He's right Luffy." Zoro agreed. "If he doesn't want to talk about it, that's his choice."
Luffy pouted again, but conceded. He went back to complaining about being hungry, which was only better than the questions in that it was more passive.
"It's funny that you have absolutely no navigation skills." Zoro remarked.
"Why? I've always been just wondering." Luffy replied. "You're just like me too, wandering and capturing hunted pirates for rewards."
"I don't remember saying that I live completely off of rewards!" Zoro rebutted. "I was searching for a man, that's why I left to the sea. But now I can't find my way home…I had not choice but to collect bounties just to get by."
"Oh, so you're lost?"
"Shut up! You're the one who's lost!" Zoro shouted angrily. "Geez…I've never heard of a pirate that can't navigate, how do you expect to get to the Grand Line like this? You need to hurry and find us a navigator."
*Listen to that, they're lost just like you. You should tell them about your own plight, make it that much worse when they abandon you.*
"Заткнись, я слышал достаточно от вас.(Shut up, I've heard enough from you.)" I replied.
"What did you say?" Luffy asked.
"I was talking to myself." I answered.
"Oh…are you crazy?"
"…Да, you can say that."
"What does 'Da' mean?" Zoro asked. "Is it 'yes'?"
"Да, да is yes." I answered. "Нет means no."
"Why don't you just say yes or no?" Luffy asked. "Why do you use made up words?"
"They are not 'made up', it is Russian." I replied, scowling behind my mask. "I am Russian, so I speak it."
"What's 'Russian'?" Luffy asked. "Is it a club? Can you eat it?"
"Can you…? Нет! Russia is not food, it is Родина, birth-land, and you will not be making light of it." I responded. "Russians are proud people, we are survivors."
"I've never heard of Russia, which sea is it in?" Zoro asked.
"Дa(huh)? What are you meaning?" I replied, confused.
"Is it in the North Blue, South Blue, what?" Zoro "explained" only confusing me more.
"I am not knowing what you mean, Russia is in the Atlantic and Pacific." I answered. "I have never heard of this 'North Blue'."
"What are you talking about?" Zoro replied. "Are you stupid, you don't know about the four oceans that make up the world? The North, South, East and West Blue?"
I was about to respond when a thought struck me. I had been lucky enough to end up in universes that were similar to my own, but that didn't mean they were all so alike. I slumped a bit, realizing I had finally ended up in a place that was completely alien to me.
"Ken, is something wrong?" Luffy asked.
"My name is Кендрик, and I am realizing how far from home I am." I answered.
"Kendrik?"
"Да, Кендрик."
"Can't I just call you Ken instead?"
"Нет."
"Why?"
"It is not my name."
"But it's easier to say!" Luffy wailed.
"I am not caring, it is not my name."
"But Ken-!"
"Anyways!" Zoro interrupted. "What were you saying about being far from home?"
"It is…complicated? Да, complicated." I answered. "All I can be saying is I can not go home, and home was very different from this place."
Luffy and Zoro said nothing for a moment, which I appreciated.
"Why can't you go home?" Luffy eventually asked.
"Home is very far, I am needing special ship to return." I answered. "Ship has sunk, so I am trapped here."
"So you're lost like us." Luffy deduced.
"Да, I suppose I am." I answered.
We couldn't help but smile, a simple connection bringing us together.
"…Although, I am knowing of how to get home." I continued. "My problem is more physical than mental."
"Shut up!"
"This is…ridiculous, да?" I noted to Zoro, keeping an eye out for Luffy.
"Among other things." Zoro agreed, keeping an eye on the trio rowing our boat.
After Luffy spotted a passing bird, he tried to catch and eat it. We quickly learned that it was far bigger than it first appeared, and flew off with the rubber-boy trapped in his beak. As we rowed after him, some pirates that were adrift in the sea jumped aboard and tried to take our ship. Zoro and I "convinced" them otherwise, and they "offered" to row for us as we looked out for Luffy.
"So, why were the three of you floating in the ocean like that?" Zoro asked.
"Good question, you finally asked!" One of the pirates exclaimed. "It was that girl! She was a bad girl, but real cute too."
"The three of us had just finished robbing a ship, and on the way back we found her." A different pirate told. "We thought she needed help, she even offered us treasure!"
"But when we went to check her out, she stole our map and ship!" The third pirate finished. "Before we could do anything, a freak storm came from nowhere and destroyed the boat! We're sure that she planned it somehow!"
"She can predict the weather…this girl must be something special." Zoro remarked. "I wonder if she'd join us…?"
"If I find her, I'm gonna kill her!" One of the pirates announced.
"First, we gotta get our loot back." Another pirate said.
"Yeah…if we go back empty-handed, Buggy will…" The third pirate agreed.
"Who's Buggy?" Zoro asked.
"He's our pirate leader, haven't you ever heard of 'Buggy the Clown'?" A pirate answered. "He's a dangerous man who ate a Devil Fruit."
"A Devil Fruit?" Zoro echoed. "What does it do?"
"~hehaha~ Can't tell you, it's a secret." A pirate replied.
Zoro raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything else.
"We made it!" The pirates announced as we pulled up to the island's dock.
"Where is everyone?" Zoro asked. "This place looks deserted."
I stopped paying attention then, noticing an…'off' feeling permeating through the air. Scanning the buildings, I noticed a shadow moving into an alley.
"Zoro, I need to be going." I told the swordsman. "I will return later."
"Huh? Alright." Zoro replied as I walked off after the shadow.
Keeping my distance, I followed the figure through alleys and the ruins of destroyed buildings. After deciding that he was alone, rushed head to cut him off. Pulling the familiar figure into an side-road, I slammed him against the wall.
"Si taht yna yaw ot teerg a dneirf?(Is that any way to greet a friend?)" Chaz asked.
"On, tub uoy era on dneirf fo enim.(No, but you are no friend of mine.)" I responded.
Chaz and I had met previously, as I was often in need of his services. He was an information dealer, willing to sell any knowledge he had for a price. He was also a greedy slimeball, who would sell out his own mother for enough coin. I didn't like working with him, but he was a necessary evil as information was extremely valuable to someone in my line of work. I was lucky enough that Zalgo's experimentation had elongated my tongue, allowing for a passable attempt at speaking Daemon. It was simple to write, all you had to was reverse the order of letters. Speaking it was something else, as it took…interesting anatomy to pronounce things sideways.
"Taht struh, stuc em peed ti seod." He remarked, feigning hurt. "Retfa lla ew evah neeb hguorht, uoy dna em?"
Chaz was a Daemon, one of many, and for whatever reason he had taken a particular interest in me. Usually this would be something to be worried about, but I often had bigger problems that didn't leave time to look a gift horse in the mouth. Letting him go, I took a step back to look him over. Chaz often kept to the stereotypical look that most Daemons were stuck with; red skin, horns and all that, but right now he looked like some generic punk kid you'd find smoking across the street from a school.
"Tahw si htiw eht wen kool?" I asked.
"Od uoy ekil ti?" He asked in return, doing a little twirl. "I ma gniraperp rof a pirt ot eht Namuh dlrow, si siht esiugsid pu ot ffuns?"
"Ti si enif, tub tahw era uoy ginod ereh?" I answered. "Evah uoy draeh ginhtyna wen morf Zalgo?"
"On, ginhton uoy od ton ydaerla wonk." Chaz answered. "I ma lyno ereh ot rehtag noitamrofni no emos dik deman Luffy."
"Luffy? Tahw od uoy tnaw morf mih?"
"Ouy wonk mih?"
"I ma…gnilias htiw mih, yliraropmet."
"Ym, ym, woh tneinevnoc. I epoh taht uoy dluow eb gnilliw ot erahs gnihtyna uoy wonk."
"Revetahw uoy deen ot wonk, uoy nac ksa mih flesruoy. Eh si ton yrev thgirb, eh si ylekil ot llet uoy gnihtyreve uoy tnaw."
"Ho…tib fo a loof neht?"
"Ekil uoy dluow ton eveileb."
I turned to walk away, annoyed to see Chaz following me.
"Si ereht gnihtemos uoy deen?" I asked, not stopping.
"Uoy evah ot nruter ot Luffy ta emos tniop, os I lliw wollof uoy ot mih." Chaz answered. "Si taht a melborp?"
I shrugged and kept walking, quickening my pace slightly. Working my way back to the ship, I was disheartened to find that Zoro had gone.
*They're already trying to get rid of you.*
Scowling slightly, I turned back to the town to search for any sign of the swordsman or Straw-Hat.
After a few minutes, I heard the sounds of celebration in the distance and decided to investigate. Discovering the source to be a large bar of sorts, I entered into a courtyard area. The group of pirates that were partying stopped to stare at me, and I could practically hear the record scratch.
"Hello." I said. "I am looking for rubber child, is wearing straw hat."
"Ken!" A voice called. "You found me! Where's Zoro?"
"I am not knowing, we separated." I answered, ignoring the flinching pirates as I walked over to the rubber-boy. "Why are you in cage?"
Luffy was trapped behind metal bars, forced to sit in the cramped space. Brushing past the crowd, I made my way to Straw-Hat to try to free him.
"Hold it!" A new voice ordered, prompting me to pause. "Who the hell do you think you are, barging in here like that!"
*A man's man sustained by strength of will.*
I looked toward the voice, surprised at myself for not noticing him earlier. I saw a fairly tall man, dressed up like some kind of clown pirate complete with a big red nose. He leaned forward in a fancy chair-throne thing, seemingly angry with me for disturbing their festivities.
"I do not mean to…interrupt?" I relied, looking back to Luffy for confirmation. "Да, interrupt. I am here for Straw-Hat, I am needing his ship."
"Ken, aren't you here to save me?" Luffy whined.
"Да, for your ship." I answered. "Stop calling me Ken."
"But it's more fun to say!"
"I am still not caring."
"Meanie."
"Enough!" The clown pirate interrupted. "If you're working for that thief, then I'll have to kill you as well."
"Нет, I am not working for him." I explained. "But I can't let you kill him."
"Nami, who is this guy?" Clown-pirate asked an orange hair girl. "Why didn't you warn us about him?!"
"That guy? There's nothing to worry about." Nami answered, waving off Clown-Pirates concern. "Ken and I go way back, he's just not up to date on our new employment with you Captain Buggy."
"Is this true?" Clown-pirate, Buggy, asked me.
"I have never seen this girl before." I answered. "She has not been sailing with us."
Nami momentarily looked terrified, then tried to play it off like it was nothing.
"~hahaha~ That's Ken for you!" She nervously laughed, walking up and patting me on the back. "Quite the joker, always full of laughs."
*I don't think she could be more wrong, it's almost impressive.*
Growing annoyed, I reached down to pick her up. Squeaking in surprise, she slinked away slightly as I held her so we were face-to-face.
"I do not know you." I growled. "It is not good to test me."
Nami nodded furiously in response, scrambling away from me when I dropped her. Turning back to Luffy, I noticed that we was glaring at me slightly.
"What?" I asked, walking toward him.
"You should be nicer to her, she's our new navigator." He answered.
"Your navigator; She is no concern of mine." I responded, bending down to grab the top of the cage. "You deal with her."
Pressing my foot to the bottom, I started to force the cage apart when a knife sunk into the back of my head. Usually this wouldn't be a problem other than blinding pain, but it was a very good throw. I slumped over and slid off the cage, all control of my limbs lost. Silence and darkness engulfed me, the feeling of laying on the hard ground being my only connection to the physical world.
*Damn, that was a good shot. It'll be a shame when we kill whoever did that, you could learn a few things.*
"And you can fuck off." I responded to Zane.
*No need to be testy, it was a simple observation.*
"Well then you can observe me ignoring you."
*~hehehihihi~ How has that been work in the last few years? Oh, and before I forget, ~she wants the dick!~*
"What the fu…? What are you even talking about?"
*That girl, Navi or whatever the fuck her name was, she wants the D.*
"…Stop. Just…stop."
*What's with that attitude? You should be excited.*
"I can't believe I'm entertaining this notion, but why do you think she 'wants the D'?"
*It was obvious, the way she was feeling you up. That, and I could smell it.*
"…Smell it?"
*Yep.*
"You could…smell it?"
*Uh-huh.*
"…Smell what exactly?"
*She was lusting after you like crazy, I could smell it in the air.*
"…You're saying you smelt her…lust?"
*It started right after you ousted her to Buggsworth the Clown, and got stronger when you picked her up.*
"…I…I don't even…you're very lonely, aren't you?"
*What the fuck are you talking about? It's not like you're any better off.*
"By the Sun's Light, you're a moron. That wasn't lust, that was fear. She was afraid of us."
*…Shit, that does make more sense. I get those two confused a bunch.*
I briefly despaired at the futility of suicide.
*Not that it matters, we should still fuck her.*
"We are not going to have sex with her."
*Says you.*
"Says me?! Says me!? Says shut the fuck up I do!"
*Calm down, no need to be testy.*
"Вспыльчивый! Ты тот, который планирует изнасилование чужой!(Testy! You're the one that's planning to rape some stranger!)"
**Кто сказал что-нибудь об изнасиловании? Теперь вы кладете слова в мой рот.(Who said anything about rape? Now you're putting words in my mouth.)**
"Kendrick! Guys, Kendrick's alive!"
"Вы сделали! Вы! Всякий раз, когда вы открываете рот чертовски вы идете на изнасилование или убийство или некоторые другие попало дерьмо!(You did! You! Whenever you open your damn mouth you go on about rape or murder or some other horrible shit!)"
**Как насчет когда я говорю о прохладно дерьмо, как ружья?(What about when I talk about cool shit, like shotguns?)**
"Солнца свет закрыл ебешь вверх!(By the Sun's Light, shut the fuck up!)"
It was at the moment I realized I had been yelling, and that I wasn't laying on the ground anymore. I felt around for a moment before I was engulfed in a hug, my instant reaction of throwing the offender off of me thwarted by my assailants unexpected strength. I struggled for a moment, the person who hugged me quickly letting go. I was about to say something, but hesitated when I noticed my vision had yet to return.
"I can't believe it, it's a miracle." A familiar voice said, amazed.
"I told you, it'll take more than that to kill this tosser." Chaz's distinctive voice responded. "Well, I think I've got everything I need, I'll be going now."
"Chaz, tiaw." I called out, hoping he was still there. "Uoy nac kaeps Hsilgne?"
"Fo esruoc I nac, I dluow ton eb yrev doog ta ym boj esiwrehto" He responded. "Yhw, od uoy deen emos pleh?"
"Sey, I ma gniog ot eb ereh a elihw dna deen ot nrael." I answered. "Tub yhw evah uoy ton nekops Naissur nehw ew kaeps?
"Ereht sah neeb on deen, uoy derugif tuo a yaw taht dekrow rof uoy." Chaz said, waiving off the bullshit I had to go through to learn Daemon. "Tub I od evah gnihtemos taht dluoc pleh, rof a ecirp fo esruoc."
"Tahw?"
"I evah emoc otni noissessop fo a Lebab Hsif, dna ma gnilliw ot lles ti ot you."
The Babel Fish is an extraordinary creature, frequently used to both prove and disprove the existence of God. It feeds on brain wave energy, frequencies and then excreting telepathically a matrix formed from the conscious frequencies and nerve signals picked up from the speech centers of the brain. What this means in practical terms is that if you let it burrow in your ear, you can understand virtually any spoken language. Many years before I started my journey they were designated a Weapon of Mass Destruction and it became almost impossible for regular people to get one, even Daemons had trouble
"I ma ton eruhs ti dluow pleh, I od ton kniht ti dluoc evivrus gnivil edisni ym daeh." I noted, my vision slowly returning.
"Uoy dluohs ton etamitserednu ti." Chaz replied, smirking. "Uoy nac evah ti rof owt dna a flah noillim Ynnum."
I nearly choked, my heart seizing at the thought of anyone paying that. Munny is a form of currency created to ease inter-universal travel, fashioned from a similar material to MacGuffinite, that come in the form of small, glass-like beads. They were iridescent and found in varying sizes, which decided their worth. Munny has the ability to become virtually any form of currency, automatically converting to the equivalent amount. As of then the conversion from Munny to Pубли(Rubles) was 1 Руб for every .75 Munny and I only had a motley collection of 5000 Руб.
"Два с половиной миллиона Munny!(Two and a half million Munny!)" I exclaimed, defaulting to Russian out of reflex. "Это невозможно иметь такие деньги, я не часть буржуазии!(It's impossible to have that kind of money, I'm not part of the bourgeoisie!)"
"Yrros, erar smeti eriuqer a hgih ecirp." Chaz shrugged, leaning closer to me. "Fo ecruoc, I ma gnilliw ot tpecca…evitanretla sdohtem fo tnemyap."
I scowled and pushed him out of the way, walking to the door of the abandoned house I found myself in. Luffy and the others had already left, discomfort being the natural reaction to hearing Daemon spoken aloud. I could hear them talking about something outside, my understanding broken at best. Hesitating with my hand on the knob, I turned my head slightly towards Chaz.
"Woh hcum dluow eseht 'evitanretla' stnemyap revoc?" I asked, hating myself a little more.
"Rof na ruoh eht tsoc lliw pord ot eno noillim." He answered, smirking.
"Lla I evah si ruof-dnasuoht selbur." I replied, hoping to come away from this without losing all my money.
"Neht ti lliw eb owt sruoh dna eerht-dnasuoht selbur." Chaz said, walking closer to drag his fingers across my chest and back. "Reven tel ti eb dias taht I ma ton suoreneg."
I shuddered away from his touch, fighting the urge to gag. I wanted nothing more than to leave, but having a Babel Fish would be a great help to properly learning English.
*That, and getting us laid.*
With a grimace, I considered my limited options. It honestly didn't seem like such a bad idea, but some instinct of mine screamed that this was a bad idea.
*It's your natural instinct to be a punk bitch, for the love of God ignore it.*
Sighing in resignation, I unlocked the door.