Disclaimer:The very hot winchester boys and other characters are owned by well they are not owned by me so don't sue.

Okay I hate how this season is going I love Sam and I love Dean and I love brotherly love between them I hate to see them fighting so here is my own version of after they got back together.

They were in another run down motel in another shity town, the only difference was that Castiel was with them this time and it was like Sam was the odd man out, Dean and Cas were sharing secret glances and talking secretly and he was left to just sit there and be by himself he was like a lost puppy whose owner hasn't claimed him,or like a lost boy looking for his big brother.

It had been a week since Sam had joined him and Castiel he knew he was treating his brother badly but he couldn't help it he was still mad about his brother choosing ruby over him he honestly just wanted his brother back but he didn't know how to go about approaching him every time they tried he ended up yelling or saying something he regretted a few minutes later.

He was spending all his time with Cas and pretending his brother didn't exist he knew he was wrong he just didn't know how to make himself and Sam whole again.

"Were going to get food."

"Okay."he nodded as he watched his brother and Castiel walk out of the room thats all he seemed to be seeing of his brother the back of him as he walked away.

"You can't keep ignoring him Dean."

"I know but I don't know what to say to him." he fell silent as they walked to the diner that Dean had spotted on the way in every thing was so messed first Sam and Ruby and the demon blood then Lucifer coming out of hell and now Sam being his vessel he had just about enough maybe it would have been better if he left his brother at Stanford.

"Lets just hurry back to Sam because when hes alone bad things seem to happen."

"Of course." Cas was trying to keep the peace but this was getting ridiculous the brothers could barely stand to be in the same room together and Dean was using him as a distraction.

"I must go Dean."

"What why Cas you can't leave now."

"I will be back tomorrow you can survive one night."

"I guess." he watched as Cas walked away it would just be him and his brother could he handle it he knew how Sam was always wanting to talk out his problems.

"I'm back."he looked to his brother but he just looked up and nodded at him to show he heard him he muttered a quiet thank you when Dean handed him food them went back to his book.

"Sam."

"Yes Dean."his brother looked up with such hope in his eyes.

"Never mind its nothing."he watched as Sam dropped his head again hiding his eyes from Dean he knew because Sam was just staring at the book not turning the page.

"I'm gonna go shower."Sam threw his stuff in the waste and grabbed some seats and a t shirt to sleep in he headed to the bathroom locked the door behind him turned on the water and slid down in the shower to let the water run over him he was so tired of every thing why wouldn't the gods have mercy on him.

"Sam get out the shower now."he sighed took the shower of and got out was it to much to ask for his brother to love him?

"Coming."he changed quickly before his brother got angry and yelled at him.

Early the next morning Dean was in a deep sleep until he jumped awake he wasn't sure what woke him and looked around for the source of the disturbance he wasn't sure until he looked at his brothers bed and found it empty.

"Sonofa bitch."he was pissed where the hell had his wayward brother gone of to,then he started thinking the worst what if he was found by lucifer,what if sam let him in what if he went to drink more demon blood what if what if,that was all that was going through Deans mind.

"Damn it."he got up and pulled his jeans and t shirt on he stuck his feet in his shoe grabbed his key and ran out the door where the hell was his brother he looked franticly around till he got to the parking lot and stopped short there was his brother sitting on top of the car staring at the rising sun.

hours earlier

Sam couldn't sleep his head was going a mile a minute he was going crazy just laying there everytime he closed his eyes Lucifer came to him to talk him into letting him in he was so tired he was haunted.

"Damn."he sighed softly looked over at Deans bed and got out of bed softly he got dressed grabbed his key and left quietly he hadn't seen a sunrise in a while so he got up on the impala and sat waiting for the sun gods help him he was so sad.

Present time

"Sam."he spun and saw his brother behind him he turned back and watched the sun it wasn't like had anything to say to him.

"Sam."

"Yes Dean?"

"Why are you out here."he spun to look at his brother he didn't even trust him to sit out here.

"I just wanted to see the sunrise."he turned back to hide the tears running down his cheeks unchecked.

"Why?"

"Because mommy I wanted to."

"Why do you need to be so...so argh."

"Why don't you go back to ignoring me Dean."

"Sam."

"No Dean no if your going to pretend I'm not there then go ahead but I am not going to justify myself to you ever time I want to sit and watched the sunset or something of that matter contrary to your belief I am not a demon."

"I don't think your a demon Sam."

"Look me in the eye and say that then."he looked straight at Dean who couldn't look him in the eye.

"Thats what I thought."with tears running down his cheek he got of the roof and walked away. "I love you Dean I just don't think you love me anymore I'm not sure you have loved me for a very long time."

"Sam."but Sam cut him of he hadn't finished saying his peace yet.

"Thats another thing since when am I Sam when did I stop being Sammy."

"Sam."

"No Dean no no more I love you so much and all I wanted was my brother back but you don't want me Dean its like I don't exist."

"Sammy."

"Brother,Father,Son thats what we have always been to each other until now and I just wanted that back but I see that it is futile."

"Sammy I'm so sorry I do love you I love you so much."

"Do you Dean,I know I fucked up I know I did."

"You damn well did."

"I was so lost when you were gone and Ruby helped me and I felt like someone found me again and I got so caught up in it and you came back and everything just spun out of control and I am so so sorry."

"I know you are Sam."

"You just can't forgive me hell you don't even trust me."

"Sam."

"You replaced me with Castiel Dean."

"Thats not true."

"Yeah it is."

"Your still my brother."

"Only in my dreams."

"Sammy."

"Go away Dean."

"Ow Sammy."he pulled his brother to a stop as he went to walk past him and pulled him into his arms.

"I love you so very much and I'm sorry I've been being a complete jerk."

"I love you so much Dean you raised me your my brother and my dad and it hurts to much to think that you hate me."

"Baby I don't hate you I could never hate you."he walked them back to the room and let them in he set Sam onto one of beds and dropped in front of him cupping Sam's face so that he couldn't look away from him.

"I have never in my life hated you Sam, I love you way to much for that I know I have been distant and mean but I honestly didn't know what to say to you and I kept getting angry and saying mean things and damn it I was so disappointed but never believe that I don't love you."

"Promise?"

"As you said Brother,Father,and son and no matter what happens I will always love you with all my heart." he reached over and pulled his brother into his arms so that Sam could bury his face in Deans chest they sat there in that position with Dean holding Sam in his lap.

"I miss you Dean."

"I know"

"Just...just hold me for a little bit."

"I will."his much taller little brother folded himself into Deans arms and they sat there holding on to each other and Sam felt maybe just maybe that since they had each other again everything was going to be alright as long as they kept a tight hold on each other and keep the love they had for each other.

Okay tell me what you guys think.............

ky