"The first meeting of the We Hate Mario Society has commenced," said King Bowser Koopa, standing at the head of the table looking at the evildoers he had gathered. "When I call your name, say present. Koopa Kids?"

"Here!" said Morton Jr., Lemmy, Larry, Iggy, Wendy, Ludwig, and Roy in unison.

"I said say PRESENT!" screamed Bowser. "WHY IS EVERYONE AGAINST ME? You're all a bunch of Oedipuses! Ok, anywho, Kamek?"

"Here."

"What did I just finish saying! Wart?"

"Here."

"I'm not even going to try anymore. Tatanga?"

"Here."

"Remember when I said that I wasn't going to try anymore? That was a lie. How dare you! Wario?"

"Why even bother with this, you can see us all perfectly fine."

"You dare defy me! Waluigi?"

"Present!"

"Shut up Waluigi!" ordered Wario. "How many times have I told you not to talk unless I permit you?"

"Sorry Master."

"I did NOT give you permission to talk!" And with that, Wario grabbed his brother by the hair and slapped him across the face.

"Donkey Kong Sr.?"

"Here."

"Dumb ape. Wait, what's this, another name on the list. Gruntilda?"

"Do not worry, do not fear, for Gruntilda is here."

"What are you doing here witch?"

"Yeah, no girls allowed in the He-Man Woman Hater Club!" said Waluigi.

"This is the We Hate Mario Society, imbecile!" shouted Wario.

"Spit it out, Grunty!" demanded Bowser.

"My tale I'll tell you, though it comes with woe…"

"Please, spare me the rhyming."

"Ok, ok. See, Banjo and Kazooie kinda beat me again, I was wondering if I could become a Mario villain."

"No way sister! You know how hard it is to become a Mario villain."

"Yeah, I was on the waiting list for 19 years!" said Waluigi.

"Fine, I see I'm not welcomed. I'm outta here." Gruntilda grabbed her broomstick from the chair beside her and flew out the window.

"I can't believe I used to date her," said Bowser.

"Daddy, is Gruntilda are real mommy?" asked Roy.

"No, and I told you not to ask about your real mommy!" he grunted to his son. "Anyway, now I'm sure you all know why I called this meeting."

"Uh, no actually," said Kamek. "You just told me to show up or else you'd bash my head in."

"When you called me you just asked whether my refrigerator was running. And when I said yes, you told me to catch it," said Donkey Kong. "What was that about!"

"Oh mushrooms, I'm surrounded by idiots. I called you here so we can form the perfect plan to defeat Mario once and for all!"

There was a silence in the room, as the archenemies starred at one another.

"But Bowser, Mario has beaten us all on separate occasions. And a few of us more than once," said Kamek.

"I know, I remember when he beat me in that tennis match, I was humiliated," said Waluigi.

"And you were an idiot," said Wario rolling his eyes.

"And I was an idiot!" Waluigi corrected himself.

"Yeah, Bowser, what can you do this time to Mario that will be so different," asked Tatanga.

"He's too powerful, Bowser, give up!" said Wart.

"What do you know, you one-trick ponies! Mario beat you both once and you're never seen from again!"

"Yeah, well maybe we aren't pathetic sore losers, being beat again and again with the same old evil plots!" screamed Wart.

"You're nothing but a cheep rip-off of me! You weren't even originally a Mario character!"

"I want my bomb-ombs back!"

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, please," said Wario, lighting a cigar. "This plan isn't very bad, now that I think of it. All of us working together, with our combined skills, Mario could never beat us, even with the help of those little friends of his. This can work out wonderfully, under the right leadership, of course."

"Ha! You! The pathetic fat evil twin cliché? I'm Mario's true arch-nemesis. I've battled him more times than I can count!"

"Wow, big deal. You fought he more than three times," said Wario. "May I remind you all that I am the only one here who has ever had his own game and still be a baddie? Bowser on the other hand is beaten every other day by Mario."

"Don't push my buttons, Wario."

"Or what, you'll kidnap me?"

"That's it, you're out of the We Hate Mario Society!"

"You can't kick me out! I was never in the group! You said your cable was out!"

"It is out! I was hoping you'd look at it later! But I wouldn't let you near my television now!"

Meanwhile, the arch-nemeses watched Bowser and Wario verbal it out, following each rebuttal insult the other would throw like it was a sport.

"Man, Bowser really needs some anger management," commented Tatanga.

"I know, he hasn't stopped screaming since we got here," said Waluigi.

"Who can blame him though," said DK. "Mario beat him again last week. He was so close too. I kind of feel bad for him. From what I heard it was brutal."

"You know what Koopa, I don't like how you assume you're going to just be our leader. So you know what, let our friends here decide who they want. All in favor of King Bowser as our leader raise their hand!"

The Koopa Kids were shot their hands up right away, and slowly, one by one the rest of the baddies raised their hands too. Waluigi was the only one left, he started lifting his hand, so Wario punched him in the face and he lowered it.

"Fine than!" Wario yelled trying to keep his rage down. "I can see that they want you!"

"And lucky for you, I need you. So sit down, and remember, I give the orders!"

"Alright than, now that this has been settled, let's get back to the matter at hand. How are we going to take out Mario?" asked Kamek.

"Not a problem, I've already got it all planned out," explained Bowser. "We are going to kidnap the Princess, and hold her here, in my IMPENETRABLE FORTRESS OF EVIL!"

"You do realize we're sitting in a tree house, right?" said Wart.

"Well, my castle is kind of being rebuilt right now, so this is the only place I have to stay. But in the meanwhile we can make-believe that is an impenetrable fortress of evil!"

"WHAT! Bowser, that's the same plan you always use, it never works," said Wario.

"Did I just hear you disobey me, the democratically voted leader? That's against our constitution!"

"We don't have a constitution."

"We do now. Kamek, write this down. "Amendment One, Anytime that Wario disobeys the democratically voted leader, he will be subjected to a flogging."

"Flogging! I don't know what that means but it doesn't sound nice…"

"You know, Wario does have a point," said Waluigi.

"Well do any of YOU have suggestions?"

"I know, how about we attack Mario with some of my deadly water barrels," said Donkey Kong. "I just hope he doesn't have a hammer."

"No no no! We should force the princess to marry one of us. Preferably me, since I have a way with princesses," said Tatanga.

"You mean a fetish, not way!" said Donkey Kong.

"Hey, shut up, we all know you've been fighting on the good side for years!"

"That wasn't me, that was my son, Donkey Kong Jr.!"

"I thought his name was Diddy Kong," said Waluigi.

"Forget the princess, let's kidnap Luigi!" said Kamek.

"This is all ridiculous. We should attack Mario we he can't get us, in his dreams!" said Wart.

"Shut up, frog! I mean, uh, Frenchy!" said Bowser. "Stop this rabble-rousing this instant! We are using my plan!"

"You're all idiots, you know!" said Wario.

"I don't see you coming up with an plans, pennybags!" said Wart.

"How about we set up a sniper rifle at Mario window while he's sleeping, while the rest of us are attacking the castle, killing the princess, and proceed to take over Plit? Also, pennybags, what is that supposed to mean exactly?"

"Uh…that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" said Bowser. "And you're disobeying the democratically voted leader again! Kamek, prepare the flogging!"

"Heh heh, heh, I've been waiting for this for a long time," said Kamek pulling out a whip from under his robes while Wario looked on horrified. The Koopa mage grabbed Wario by the ear and led him outside of the treehouse.

The rest of the We Hate Mario Society sat in awkward silence, trying not to look out the window where they could see Kamek tying Wario to a near-by tree as he pleaded to be spared. Bowser quickly got up and pulled down the blind.

"Well, it sure is quiet in here," he said trying to sound innocent and turned on the radio. And so for the next few minutes the room was filled with the sound of "Rock Your Body" by Justin Timberlake, which didn't do a very good job of blocking the loud noises and screams from outside, most of which were not coming from Wario. Just as the song was ending, Wario walked into the room.

"Oh, you're back. So did you learn you're lesson?" said Bowser.

"Yes sir!" he said covering his mouth trying to hold back a laugh.

"Say, where's Kamek," Bowser asked. Wario simply shrugged and sat back down. Then, with the radio shut off, everyone became aware of a loud murmur from outside. Bowser opened the blind and found Kamek, hanging by his hands from a branch. The King Koopa shot an annoyed looked at Wario, he grinned back deviously.

"Please help me down!" cried Kamek, and Bowser shut the blind and went back to his meeting.

"So where were we?" he said. "Ah yes, plotting against Mario. Any suggestions?"

"I know daddy," said Wendy. "How about we steal all of Mario's toys?"

"Kids, I'll tell you what, none of you are allowed to join the society until you turn 18. Now go to your dungeons…er, I mean rooms…"

"Aw…" the Koopalings said in unison and stormed out of the treehouse.

"Ok, now that the children have left the room, let's get down to business," said Bowser. "Maybe you guys do have a point, I have used the kidnap Peach plan a lot. Maybe it's time to try something new. How 'bout something like Mario's Time Machine?"

"NO!" screamed everyone in unison surprising themselves.

"Jinx!" cried Waluigi.

"Man, now I can't talk!" said DK.

"What we need is a way to infiltrate the castle," said Bowser. "But how? And what? And why, who, where, and when?"

"Well, I do have this invitation to a party being held at the castle tonight in honor of Mario Day…" said Waluigi.

"How did you get that!" said Tatanga.

"Oh, all the members of the We Love Luigi Society get two free tickets."

"You're in the W.L.L.S.?" said Wario.

"Of course! I love Luigi. Why do you think I dress like him everyday?"

"Yes, this is perfect!" said Bowser. "With these tickets, we can sneak into the castle, than two of us will disguise ourselves as Mario and Luigi, and crash their party!"

"Um, what would this accomplish exactly?" asked Wart.

"Nothing. But it will be hilarious! Muawahahahah! Now, to decide who shall do it. Me, for certain, and somebody else."

"Um, hello," said Wario. "Me and Waluigi are their evil twins! Obviously we should do it…"

"Stop contradicting the democratically voted leader! There's a better way to do this: Enie-Menie-Minie-Moe, Catch a tiger by the toe…"

At that moment, the door opened, and Kamek stood there, holding a piece of rope that looked like it had been chewed threw, and severally bruised.

"Bowser, those kids of yours are psychotic…"

"Thank goodness you're here, get in this: If it hollers let him go, Enie-Menie-Minie-Moe. Ok, Donkey Kong, welcome aboard!"

"Yay!" he said beating his fist against his chest.

"Ok, everything is set. Donkey Kong and I will go out to get our disguise and proceed to the party. And in the meanwhile, I have monopoly and twister in that drawer, so have fun! And DK, to the Koopa-Kopter!"