Title: Sickness of the Mind
Characters: Haruno Sakura, Sabuka Gaara. Gaara x Sakura
Summary: Of all that is written, I love only what a person has written with his own blood.
Rating: M ( themes of illness and childish tempers and love )
Notes: This started out of a prompt song shuffle list. The song being Okay I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't by Brand New. Gaara and Sakura are both equally horrible people. Most of these are just drabble chapters, and you'll get no more. I'll release one chapter whenever I feel like it.
Part #1 of neutrality.
standard disclaimer applies.
Gaara fumbled around his pocket. The sky line stretched on and on from his view on the roof. He swung his legs over the edge, lit his cigarette and laid back down, no longer concerned with society but just endless smoggy sky.
"You are really lucky Gaara, no one ever lets me run around like this and just hang off the edge of buildings like that."
Gaara grunts. He hears her get closer but he doesn't bother to look at her.
"Do you know what Ino said? When I told her I kissed you? She said hell would freeze over before I would ever be allowed to see you again if dad found out. Says if anyone will make me sick and die like they say, it'll be you."
"But I don't care." She says, and Gaara thinks she actually means it.
"You say you have no meaning - that's funny because I don't either. They say that my body is so messed up that its like I have AIDS, except that's not possible really. I've never slept with anyone."
"They say its the price for living in this world these days" Gaara replies. "It rots you from the inside out."
"That's really funny Gaara."
"If you are so sick, Sakura, what is it that you are doing here?"
"Run away. Because I lied to them. I am not that sick."
"Blood tests never lie, Sakura."
"No they don't - but then they never said that either. They say that I am probably just depressed and all this is like dying from heart break? Do you know they actually call that a condition? Dying of Heart Break. When you simply give up on living but aren't game enough to pull the trigger."
"Are you dying of Heart Break, Sakura?"
"No. I told you Gaara, I don't have meaning. I am just dying of nothingness. It's like you said, this city rots you inside out. I am just rotten like you. You found things to numb the pain. I just have not - so I make myself sick. Throw up from food, get colds even when I don't see anyone. But then I kissed you Gaara. Just a common little kiss."
He grunts and says nothing - she is more then happy to just keep spilling her silly little secrets.
"Will you sleep with me Gaara?"
That makes him sit up. He looks at her finally and she isn't messing around. She is in some silly white Lolita dress - all dressed up with a white bow in her hair. He supposes that he would, if she lost the cute look and just wore his shirt. Yeah, she'd look a whole lot better like that. Some feral part of him says that if he ripped that dress up a whole heap and he could pretend she was some girl seeking his help and he gave her what she wanted.
"No," he takes out another cigarette and lights it. She is pouting and maybe even crying, but he doesn't bother to look.
"So - so you didn't like kissing me then?"
"No."
"But you smiled at me! You said I was sweet." What she is now is just frustrating, stomping her feet and so unused to not getting her way. He wants to teach her a lesson. So he stands up and moves closer. Her eyes go wide and her breath comes in little hitches - he knows its either because of the look in his eyes or her own sheltered life. Or both. Both works.
"Yeah, you were sweet. I hate sweet. You have no idea how much I hate sweet."
She closes her eyes and he knows she probably cannot take his stinging words and will run away. But when she opens them again, he sees that the temper tantrum of hers serves a greater expression of sheer desperation that flares up in her eyes.
"Haven't you been listening to me. I lie to everyone. I'm rotten because empty spaces breed the damp and the dust and nostalgia for what might of been. Moths crawl in there to die and from their sticky bodies come the rot. I'm not sweet. I'm just where the horrible things go to fester"
Its the first real words he has come out of her mouth that don't feel like an extract from her plastic wrapped dead world. He braces his hands on either side of her neck and holds her still. Memorizing the look in her eyes very carefully. Her breath is coming a little faster and given her record he thinks she might pass out.
Instead she sways a little but keeps looking at him.
"The answer is still 'No', Sakura. If I did, I would have to pay you. I do not have sex for meaning."
He leaves her there.