Despair...
So that's what the marigold means...
ironic.
Izuru Kira did not abandon Soul Society when the former captain of Third Division had that day, but ever since it was almost as though he should have. Suspicious eyes watched him constantly. Everyone knew how close he was to Ichimaru, Gin. Though, he wasn't the only one in this position. Hinamori was very close to Sosuke, Aizen. Even Matsumoto had some closeness to Gin, at least she was left to assume that. It just seemed that all the suspicions were weighing down much harder on Izuru than on anyone else, despite anything he tried to do.
No matter how hard Izuru tried to prove that he was still just as loyal to Soul Society after the betrayal, he was slowly being turned into an outcast. Everyone silently treated him as if he had betrayed them, too. It just wasn't fair, but at this point fairness was just a privilege.
Every day was becoming a routine of "do what needs to be done and avoid any outside human contact as much as possible." It was easier to be alone than it was to be in the spotlight of all the hushed criticism that only he could just feel. In the end, each day was just becoming much lonelier, faster.
"I.. should have just gone with him.." Izuru mumbled to himself. "Why.. didn't you make me come with you, Gin-sama..?" He sighed, gazing deeply in the unmoving pond water until it suddenly rippled. He quickly held his breath for a moment, thinking that someone was nearby, but then the water rippled again and this time he knew what had caused it.
A few tears had been shed.
Loneliness was depressing.
Everything seemed pointless, hopeless.
Despair.